Son of the Stag
by NeonZangetsu
Summary: One good deed does not wash out the bad, nor the bad, the good. A night of foolish passion comes back to haunt Stannis Baratheon in the form of a son. A boy who will change everything. For he is the Son of the Stag, and he will carry the world on his back or trample it under his feet. Westeros!Naruto. NarutoxDaenerys? NarutoxMargaery? NarutoxArianne? Vote! Season 2 Spoilers.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This idea has been ITCHING in my brain since I finally got around to watching the fifth season of Game of Thrones. Hope you like it!**

 **And on that note, I'm afraid I have some sad news for you guys. I've just purged a fair bit of my older works once again. I simply don't have the time to write as much as I'd like to anymore, and sad as I am to say it, a few fics had to go. Some of these stories were written back in 2008-2009 so I'm not entirely sure if you'll remember them or not, but I just wanted to inform you all.**

 **Here's the list for any who are interested:**

 _ **"Hell Hath no Fury Like a Woman Scorned.** **Cursed Kitsune.** **Unison.** **The One Queen.** **Five Days to Watch You Die.** **Ryukage: Dragon Shadow.** **Mist.** **Kitsune May Cry.** **Starstruck.** **Dating an Immortal.** **Benevolence.** **I Will Be An Exorcist.** **Ashes of War.** **An Act of Mercy.** **Will You Be My Queen.** **Will of Fire.** **Evolution.** **Honor For All.** **The Eternal Fairy.** **Sunspot.** **Hide and Seek.** **Hell Verse Unbidden.** **Am I Not Human.** **Light and Shadow.** **Look at Me.** **The Perfect Girl.** **The End of All Hope.** **Believe.** **Say it.** **Reconcile.** **Bashful. Artificial. Becoming Insane. Dragon of the Light."**_

 **...and probably more to come depending on my time constraints. Fear not, the popular ones shall remain!**

 **Now that we've gotten that sad bit of business out of the way, lets clarify a few things for this story ahead. I'm going with the character ages in the SHOW of GOT, rather than the books. As to the events themselves, many of you have asked...**

 **...and I have answered!**

 _"I don't pray. Never have."_

 _~?_

 **Son of the Stag**

Stannis Baratheon was about to open a door to his past.

Seven Hells, he didn't _want_ to open this door.

This was a door he'd ordered shut for nearly half a decade now, his men only opening it twice a day to feed its occupant. No more, no less. A constant guard five men in full plate stood watch beyond at all times to see that there were no such unscheduled openings. Any who dared to so much as approach the door without his express permission would be flogged, or worse.

As he passed these men he came to the next line of defense.

The gate.

It was a very impressive gate all things considered; furnished with four inches of rolled steel and, the lever of which could only be opened from the opposite side. Even then, the portculis would only be raised when the Lord of Dragonstone wished it. When at last he came to the door itself, he drew out a ring of keys; for the door itself held an unholy amount of locks and bars and chains and all other manner of impediments meant to keep the one within from leaving.

One by one, he began to unlock them.

Because on the other side lay one of his few mistakes.

And perhaps the key to winning this war.

Behind this bolted door lay a bastard. But not just any bastard- _his_ bastard. A boy fathered in a night of passion years ago during Robert's rebellion against the Mad King-a sordid night Stannis scarcely remembered and had vowed never to speak of again. He'd told Selyse straight away once he'd returned to Dragonstone. The deed was done, confessed his crime, and thought that was the end of that.

It had not been the end.

When the wench from that sordid night had come back to him one warm summer morning, he'd scarcely recognized her. Gone was that steely-eyed lass with hair the color of blood, full of fire and life. In her place was a woman worn, weary and broken by the world. No, he nearly hadn't recognized her at the time. Whomever she was once, she was no longer that girl. In her place was a wasting wisp of a waif, not long for this world. The thought of asking on her illness _had_ come to mind-

Then she'd shoved the babe into his arms.

Few people were capable of surprising Stannis these days, but he counted that moment among them.

He'd nearly turned her away on the spot-until he looked at the squalling babe in his arm. Truly looked at him. And there, in those swaddled rags, he saw it. A boy with his eyes. _His face._ Gods above, a _boy!_ The son he'd never had, the son Sylese could not give him. Aye, the lad was his by blood and say what you will about Stannis Baratheon, he was an honest man. Unlike the Lannisters and their so-called words, he _paid_ his debts. She had spoken few words to him, this woman from his past, but she accepted his offer to stay the night.

Sadly, his mother vanished soon thereafter; whether she'd met some foul fate end or simply vanished in the night, he knew not. Only that she simply wasn't there the next morn. And he'd found himself left with a babe that he'd no idea what to do with. One he knew next to nothing of him, beyond his name.

 _Naruto._

It had something to do with a sound a goat'd made when he was born. Didn't matter. If Selyse'd had her way, they would have laid the boy on the coast and let him be carried away by the waves. She claimed he was a monster, a demon. An abomination. But Stannis had held his ground and so, the lad remained under his watchful eye. The boy was a scamp; he grew quickly in the shadow of Dragonstone and learned the art of war as a true Baratheon should, a son in all but name.

When Sylese finally _did_ bear Stannis a child after many stillborns it was a girl. Shireen, they named her. Naruto took to his new sibling well enough even after the greyscale incident and for a time, it seemed all was well and good. Alas, Stannis slowly realized there was something wrong with his son all the same. Naruto began talking in his sleep. Hearing voices. Seeing things-people?-that weren't there. Then he started picking fights in the yard. Ours is the Fury. Naruto lived by those words, though they weren't his own. Perhaps his mind did as well; he was always spoiling for one fight or another.

Fury.

Now Naruto was locked away as punishment for his what many believed to be insanity, for following those very words. His crime? Madness. Beating a man to death in a spar. He was meant to imprisoned for far longer. Yet somehow, he seemed able to escape whenever it suited him. Some said it was sorcery. Others claimed he was half beast. Stannis believed it was far, far simpler than that-strong arms and legs and a steady hand coupled with the whims of a young man determined to be acknowledged one way or another.

The boy was going to give him endless grief over this.

Exhaling heavily, he turned the key in the last lock, grasped the handle, and opened the door.

A well-furnished room awaited him beyond; illuminated by the waning light of a flame. A bookshelf and a pair of mounted daggers awaited him on the far wall, framing a small hearth on which logs burned, providing its owner some small solace from the nights chill. Stannis half-expected the bed to be occupied but nay-the furs were flung back in disarray, suggesting that someone it had indeed been slept in recently. Were he to glance askance he might've heard the waves crashing against the shore far, far below.

This wasn't a prison.

It was a home.

As he turned his head, he saw that the room held only one occupant, and he was standing precariously close to the window.

"All hail His Grace, Stannis of House Baratheon, First of His Name, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and _Protector of the Realm!"_ a rough voice drawled mockingly, hands clapping loudly as he stepped the rest of the way inside. "He visits me at last! What has it been, five years, this time? So hard to keep track when you've shut me away like this."

"..."

As he waited patiently for the rant to end, the prisoner _-his son-_ spun to face him. Stannis found himself gazing upon a stern-looking young lad with whiskered cheeks, clad in a dark black and orange tunic, bearing bright blue eyes and hair the color of living fire, much like his mother's. Blue eyes cut angry sapphire daggers at him. His jaw was set in a smile that looked entirely too false for Stannis's liking, bordering on outright menacing by comparison. He'd never been good with his children. Soldiers yes, battles, certainly, but he had no idea what to say to the young man standing across from him.

"You look well, son." he settled for a curt nod at his bastard.

Naruto scoffed, crossing both arms before his chest. "That's it? That's all you have to say to me?"

"What would you have me say?" Stannis challenged, anger getting the better of him. "You put yourself here when you killed that man. Not me."

Azure orbs flicked away from him.

"Says the man holding my keys-

"Enough! You are _my_ boy and I'll not have this from you!"

"Like _hell_ I'm your son!" Naruto snapped back at him through gritted teeth, eyes sparking like red coals. "I'm your bastard! Your mad dog!" Stannis didn't yield when the lad spun on his heel and stormed toward him; he only reluctantly palmed the hilt of his sword when the younger man advanced. "The one you locked away because of an _accident!"_ a finger stabbed into his chest, accusing. "Because you couldn't _-wouldn't-_ even try to be a father, no, you'd rather lock me away than try to understand what I was going through!"

Stannis felt the conversation-and the purpose of his presence here-slipping away from him. Irritated, he tried to rally himself, marshal his resolve and

"That's not-

"Bullshit!" If looks could kill he would've been a smoldering pile of ashes beneath the gaze of his bastard in that moment. "I'm not a son to you, and I know it!" the boy grit out, "I'm your _shame!"_ his voice broke on the last word, crackling with emotion. His eyes were wet when he spun away, glimmering with unshed tears. A thorn of guilt pricked at Stannis and held him back from leaving. His stubborn pride wanted nothing more than to lash out at Naruto's words, to tell him that he was wrong.

"Na-

"Get out." his bastard hissed.

"Now, listen-

"GET THE FUCK OUT!"

A beat of awkward silence passed between them, broken by the distant crackle of the hearth.

Finally, someone broke it.

"You are my son." Stannis said at last, choosing his words with great care. "Nothing can change that. Not you, not your mother, not Selyse, no one. Not even you. Have I ever denied this? Did I ever mistreat you before or after your imprisonment? Bastard or no, I treated you like my own." When his son refused to say anything, he knew he'd won the day. "Well, what say you?"

"Bah." Naruto scoffed and turned away, his anger abating. "You're a terrible father."

Stannis shook himself mightily, quelling the urge to snap at him.

In those words was more than a nugget of truth.

"Aye," he nearly choked on the word, "I am."

"So? How many men has your red woman told you to burn _this_ time?" the boy asked flatly, resting his back against a wall refusing to flinch when his progenitor glowered back at him. "How many souls have you offered to your precious "Lord of Light" to win?" Despite himself, Stannis felt the ghost of a smile tug at the corner of his mouth. They had that in common, at least. The boy's tongue might be sharp as a sword, but he could be refreshingly blunt when it came to speaking his mind.

"Five." The Lord of Dragonstone conceded at last.

"Five more mistakes, then." came the answer.

"Fewer." Stannis corrected.

Naruto blinked.

"Beg pardon?"

"Five _fewer_ mistakes."

"Are you _sure_ that's the right way to say it?" his son queried. "Shireen might disagree."

"You've been visiting her again." it was not a question. One look at his progeny's smug countenance told him the boy had done exactly that. Seven hells, how did he keep getting in and out with no one noticing? There was nothing less than a sheer drop outside that window; the walls were slick with the constant spray of sea and salt. No man or woman, no matter how strong or fleet of foot they might be, could ever hope to scale them. The walls and door were thick, so he wasn't getting out that way. So how? It baffled him.

"Can't prove it." the blond blinked innocently. "'S'ides, she's my sister-

 _"-half sister-"_

-so I should be allowed, anyhow." the young man finished with a scowl. "What, you're afraid I'll hurt her or something?"

Realizing he wouldn't well win this war of words, Stannis withdrew a small scroll from his belt.

"Is it a letter from the capital?" Naruto pulled himself out onto the window until he was sitting on it. "What does it say?" Stannis blanched, a sudden pang of worry coming over him as he watched his fiery-haired son all but lean out over the edge.

"Get down from there." he demanded.

"Why?"

"Because we make for Kings Landing in a fortnight."

"And this should concern me...how?" Naruto tilted his head, contemplating. "Your blood or not, I'm still just a bastard."

Stannis bristled quietly.

There it was again.

 _The disdain._

Naruto liked to laugh at everyone and everything around him. He never took anything seriously. Always smiling, always dodging the questions, shirking his responsibilities. Give him half a chance and he'd scrap with the best of them. Sometimes Stannis had difficulty believing the boy was his, bastard or no. Aye, but the lad had his eyes and his temper both; he fought like the devil when pushed to it.

This one was like wildfire; fierce and savage, impossible to tame. One couldn't control him, you could only aim him in one direction, loose the leash, and hope for the best.

Sometimes you _needed_ a bit of that when it came to battle.

Better the devil you knew than the one you didn't.

"I have need of you." he confessed.

Naruto frowned.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" a hand rose, cupping his ear. "Didn't hear you."

Stannis shot the boy a stern look.

"If you're going to act like that then you can stay at Dragonstone." After a moment's of silence, he reluctantly amended, "I need you to complete a task for me." at the boy's sullen look, he pressed on, driving home his brief advantage to the fullest. "Do this for me, and I will name you my son and heir and free you from this place."

Naruto slowed in his swaying.

"What...what did you say?"

"Exactly what I said."

If there was one thing that his son cherished Stannis knew, it was recognition. He yearned to be acknowledged. Legitimized. Publicly. The surest way to gain his aid was to offer him just that. And if he did take the Iron Throne, he would need to name an heir. One Selyse couldn't provide. But if he acknowledged Naruto, Naruto, whose skill with knives was unmatched; Naruto who was old enough to marry, Naruto, who would beyond a shadow of doubt remain loyal, yes, that would work out well, very well indeed...

"So," Naruto began slowly, raising a finger, "Let me go this straight. You want to sack Kings Landing. You want _me_ to do what, exactly? Come with you...?

"Can you still climb?"

"Of course I can still climb." Naruto spit into a corner. "How do you think I keep getting out of this bloody tower?"

Stannis glanced at the window, considering.

"If I were to tell you to bring me Joffrey's head, would you do it?" he asked at length.

"If I were so inclined." Naruto answered, swinging himself back inside.

"And...Cersei's?"

"Happily."

 _"Seven hells."_

"I'll need twenty good men." His son warned, holding up a finger. "Some won't be coming back."

"You'll have my best."

"They better be fucking ballsy."

Stannis frowned at the crass tone wielded by his son.

 _"You_ should pray more and swear less."

Blue eyes glittered with mirth.

"But I don't pray, father...

Then they burned red.

 _...I never have."_

 **A/N: And there you have it!**

 **...The events of GOT ought to be quite different with him involved...will Naruto make it out of this one alive? But the questions don't end here! Now remember, we will eventually see the Elemental Nations in this ficlet! Naruto has no power in this fic beyond his strength, and stealth skills. He's still himself, just...hardened. And, in the end there will only be one king upon the Iron Throne, and all bloody hell is about to break loose!**

 **So...in the immortal words of Atlas...**

 **...Would You Kindly Review the story of this humble man? And enjoy the preview! There's Lannister blood to be shed aplenty next chapter! Look forward to it!**

 **(Preview)**

 _"DRUMS!"_

 _"Aaaaaaand that's my cue to wrap this up."_

 _Naruto hummed quietly as he heard the distant cry from his perch on the battlements. His knives had already tasted Lannister blood more than once tonight, and the siege hadn't even truly begun. Alone, working from the darkness as a silent vanguard, he'd already inflicted more damage on Tywin Lannister's precious legacy than any of his father's ships would. It was imperative that they secured Kings Landing before reinforcements arrived, which made his task all the more vital._

 _Twenty good men indeed._

 _Twenty good men were dangerous.._

 _Led by him, twenty good men were downright lethal._

 _Doubtlessly his blades and theirs would drink their fill before the night was through._

 _He paused, considering his next targets._

 _The Hound._

 _Nope. All kinds of nope. He knew better than to mess with a man like that by himself._

 _The Imp._

 _Seemed a shame to kill him just yet. He was a competent strategist, but beyond that, a good man. Good men were in short supply these days, even if some of them were Lannisters._

 _Joffrey._

 _Well, that decided things._

 _Positioning both feet on the ledge, he gathered himself up, took a running start..._

 _Then he fell upon **Joffrey** like a shadow._

 **R &R! =D**


	2. Wicked Game

**A/N: HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY CRAP! JUST SAW THE NEW GAME OF THRONES (RED BAND) TRAILER ON YOUTUBE! WATCH IT! NOW! I'm sooooo fired up for this and my muse has just LEAPED into overdrive!**

 **But then again, I'm sure you could tell that by the word count.**

 **Yes, your eyes do not deceive you!**

 **THIS CHAPTER IS OVER TWENTY! THOOOOOOOUSAND! WORDS!**

 **Now, before the second chapter** **, let's clarify things:**

 **FIRST!**

 **This Naruto is a godless one, as he believes that said gods took his mother from him. He had to grow up with a man who didn't know how to truly be a father at first, as well as a crazy step-mother who values religion over her own children. Throw Melisandre and her "Lord of Light" crap into this as well as the so called "voices" he keeps hearing and you've got a pretty fucked up childhood. A VERY fucked up childhood.**

 **SECOND!**

 **Remember, both he and Stannis don't rightly know what happened to Naruto's mom, and they won't for some time. Its actually a major plot point here, as to who she is and where she came from.**

 **THIRD!**

 **Now that we've gotten that bit of business out of the way, lets clarify a few things for this story ahead. I'm going with the character ages in the show of GOT rather than the books. As to the events themselves, many of you have asked,** **and I have answered! I take a few liberties with new characters here, hell, and yes...**

 **...the title is named after the song in the trailer! Please tell me what you think! I put a LOT of effort into this one! It has a little bit of everything. Including this:**

 **CHARACTER DEATH AHOY! Aye, Cersei and Joffrey are vicious idiots and fools, which accounts for their poor decisions in this chapter...**

 _"I choose violence."_

 _~?_

 **Wicked Game**

Shireen saw the door swing open.

Saw him standing there.

Then she _squealed._

"You're back!"

Her guest was scarcely a step through before she bolted from her bed and tackled him. Well-as much as a little girl could tackle her considerably taller and older brother. Naruto-for it was Naruto indeed!-grunted audibly in surprise and caught her, steadying himself against the wall. Strong arms encircled her, holding her tight and swinging her around in a happy circle. For a brief, fleeting eternity. Shireen was weightless. Freed from the four walls around her, the iron door that sealed her in this room, and all the cares that came with it.

Alas, all too soon her beloved brother released her.

Gingerly, he lowered her toward the ground.

Shireen squeezed him tighter.

"Naruto!"

"Oof! Alright, alright! I'm happy to see you, too." A note of amusement crept into his voice as she strengthened her hold on him. "You're getting strong! I might be in trouble at this rate!" Shireen knew he was lying; she had once seen him lift an an entire cart by himself. Before that, he'd broken a man's arm for speaking ill of her. Even so, she didn't care. Suddenly, a thought occured to her. He'd come through the _door._ Naruto had not used the door since...since...

"Why didn't you use the window?" she asked. "You never use the door anymore."

Naruto arched an eyebrow.

"Notice that, did ya? Think of it as a special occasion."

Stepping away, she realized he was wearing armor as well. Not the heavy plate of soldiers or guards, but the light leathers one might expect from infantrymen. All black with none of their father's colors, he looked like a thief in the night than her brother. But the smile was his all the same, one she hadn't seen in a very long time. Now Shireen was a learned girl, she knew few things were capable of making her one and only brother give a grin like that, anymore. Coupled with his usage of the front door-an act that was near guaranteed to get him caught-and it was easy to put two and two together.

"Is Father making you his heir?" she deduced. "I was wondering when he would do it."

Her brother froze, mouth half-open.

"How in blazes did you...

Shireen beamed happily, twirling away from him. "I knew it! I knew when he came to visit me that he'd pick you!"

Behind her, Naruto went very still.

"Visit you?"

"Mmm!" Shireen plopped down on the bed and spun to face him. "He came to see me a few hours ago. We talked."

"And he mentioned me?" the blond deadpanned, striding to the window after her. "He _asked_ you about me?"

"He didn't have to, silly." She answered, swinging her legs to and fro. Really, it seemed quite obvious to her. "Father respects you, and your strength. Of course he'd want you to be his heir. Why? Does that upset you?" Indeed, Naruto's bleak expression spoke volumes on the matter and what he thought of it; she was one of the privileged few to ever see how he truly felt these days. Trust wasn't something he came by easily, years of imprisonment had left him leery to most, even their lord father.

"He loves you, you know." she added, prodding.

"Love, huh?" A muffled snort reached her ears. "You always were better at understanding these things than me."

The scarred girl nodded emphatically.

"Of course."

Mother always said Naruto was a demon, a devil, a creature born out of darkness and spite and that she was not to speak him. Why would she say such awful things? Naruto was her brother. Oops. Half-brother. He was nice. He always snuck in during the night and read to her when she couldn't seep. Sometimes he would even sing to her when she wouldn't. He had a terrible singing voice but she loved it all the same and loved him for trying. He cared for her, and she cared for him.

Because Shireen _loved_ her brother.

It seemed a silly thing to think, to feel, but she did.

With this thought in her heart, she dared ask what she'd been dreading all this time. That Naruto was wearing armor and his daggers meant one of two things. They were either under attack-unlikely, as the bells weren't ringing-or he was gearing up for departure on Father's orders. Neither thought was particularly appealing. Naruto might be stronger than most, but he _could_ be hurt. She'd seen it before. He could get himself injured. Or worse...

...he could _die._

There were worse things to happen, of course. That eerie red woman could get her claws into him. Shireen shuddered at the thought. There was just something...very _wrong_ about Melisandre. She couldn't put her finger on it, but whatever it was she had good reason to want to stay away from that woman. Thankfully Naruto felt the same, but the thought of him being out there-alone-away from her, was nearly enough to make her nigh but mourn the truth; one that she already knew

"Are you going away?" she whispered.

"Full of questions, aren't you?!"

Her brother laughed at her small fears; uttering a wry, bemused chuckle as he moved to sit beside her. Shireen didn't resist when an arm encircled her shoulders, didn't fight when he pulled her head into his chest. Her fingers fisted tight against his traveling leathers of their own accord, as though she could somehow stop him from leaving. It felt painfully like another one of his farewells, perhaps the last one if he was riding off to war for Father's sake.

"You are, aren't you?" she demanded, looking up at him intently.

His smiled collapsed abruptly, sucked away into the void.

Shireen stared back right at him, piercingly so.

"Just for a bit." he conceded with a nod.

Shireen's gaze fell to the floor.

"..."

"I, ah, made something for you, ya know." Naruto said awkwardly, suddenly, drawing her curiosity once more. "I _was_ going to wait until your next name-day, but, given the circumstances, I suppose now's as good a time as any." he pressed something into her hands and her palms curled around it and held fast. When next Shireen dared to look, the sight of it nearly took her breath away." It reminded her of the presents that the Onion Knight-her good friend Ser Davos-oft gave her. Indeed, at first glance, it might even have been mistake for one of them.

Her fingers traced slowly over the small creature for a long moment before she realized what it was-Naruto's favorite animal. The one he claimed to see every night in his dreams. Carved with loving detail in every edge, from its high-bearing nine tails to the curvature of its snout, it stared back at her. Odd, it almost seemed to be smiling.

 _It was a small wooden fox._

"When did you make this?" she marveled at it, turning the item end over end.

"Spent all of last week working on it." Naruto laughed nervously; it was one of those rare sounds he made when he was being true with himself.

Tears gathered in the young girl's eyes. It was his finest work yet, and she felt utterly unworthy of it.

"Naruto, I can't-

"Oh, no you don't. I want you to keep it. Here." he replied stoically, forcing her fingers around the small idol _-totem?-_ with his own. "It'll keep you safe until I return." He did not say if. _When._ In his mind, his return to Dragonstone was an absolute certainty. Shireen admired that. His courage, unflinching resolve. He would do whatever Father asked and more, and would come back to sing songs to her in that terrible, awkward voice. Or maybe he wouldn't. Maybe this was his time-a thought she didn't relish-and there was nothing she could do about it.

"Well...its getting to be that time." Naruto rose and turned to leave. "Sweet dreams."

Abruptly, he paused.

Thought better of it.

"Fuck it." he muttered to himself.

Before Shireen could ask what he meant by that, her brother darted backward and swept her up in an embrace so fierce she nearly felt her bones break. Planting a soft kiss against her forehead, he lowered her back to the bed once more and tucked her into the covers. He lingered a moment longer, shook his head, and embraced her again.

"Stay safe, sweet child."

Shireen's heart caught in her throat, choking the words.

"You too, brother." she whispered.

With a wan smile, Naruto departed, leaving her with her thoughts.

 _"That was quick."_

Stannis was waiting for him near the stairs as he closed the door, his normally stern countenance all but unreadable. Naruto nearly snapped at his father for his brash impatience but remembered to held his tongue at the last instant. He couldn't fault his old man for wanting to get underway anymore than he could his love for his sister. Not the kind of "love" those Lannisters perpetuated of course, but something far more pure. The love one had for a sibling, for family, was something that truly could not be understood by outsiders, let alone expressed through words.

Love made you do all sorts of things.

Terrible things.

Horrible, bloody things.

"Satisfied?"

Naruto paused, drawn fro his thoughts, blinking as his father spoke to him.

"No." he said at last, nonplussed.

They descended the stairs together in relative silence after that, the tension broken only the muted footfalls of their muddied boots. Stannis struggled for words that wouldn't come, something to put his bastard at ease. It stemmed from equal parts concern and desire both; a father's loving-albeit somewhat awkward-concern for his son, and a commander's desire to ascertain his own soldier's readiness for the task at hand. Whether he was or wasn't mattered greatly; the difference between victory or defeat.

Life.

Death.

"Your men think I'm a monster," Naruto spoke suddenly, drawing a concerned look from his sire. "They might not obey me."

"It doesn't matter what they think." Stannis replied flatly, taking another step in stride. "You are what you are."

"And what do _you_ think I am, father?"

In that fleeting eternity, the waning light of a nearby torch cast itself across his face, painting his shadows into something monstrous. Stannis wondered if it was a sign of some sort. His boy was terribly clever, might even pretend to be civil behind closed doors for Shireen's sake, but they both knew his grasp on reality was tenuous at best; nonexistent at worst. He was about to unleash a demon on King's Landing, one of his own making. A force he had little to no control over. Naruto might as soon sack the city as take it for his father.

Was he making the right choice, here?

Melisandre had cautioned him time and time again against releasing the boy. She insisted that Lord of Light would grant him this victory with her at his side, that the bastard wasn't needed. Time and time again she had pleaded with him to ignore Davos's counsel. But Stannis was nothing if not stubborn. He was many things. Aggressive. Brutal. Cold. Determined. Genuine. Honest.

But, as he was in all things, Stannis Baratheon was not a liar.

"You are my son."

Naruto nearly missed a step.

"I suppose I am." A brief flicker of emotion flitted across the boy's face. Stannis grunted, satisfied.

Naruto _was_ his son.

In that area at least, his loyalty was absolute.

At length they came to the door itself.

Stannis knocked and it swung open straight away; leaving the courtyard of Dragonstone stretched before them in all its glory-dim in the night but no less imposing for it. Naruto followed after him, smiling softly. Stannis supposed he understood, this was the boy's first day as a free man after all. No longer would he have to creep through the shadows, avoiding guards. Now he could walk openly among them. Naruto took a deep breath, exhaling sharply. Then his eyes drifted towards the gate. Paused. Narrowed.

Widened.

 _"Shadow?"_

A loud whinny answered.

Naruto's gaze snapped to Stannis with such force his head seemed ready to tear itself from his shoulders.

"You kept my horse." he exclaimed breathlessly. "Shadow!"

Before Stannis could answer, Naruto bolted.

Shadow certainly lived up to his given namesake; he was a great, large stallion, black as raven and thrice as fierce. Wild as the storm itself, he had refused to breed _or_ be ridden by anyone beyond its master since Naruto'd gotten himself locked away all those years ago. Now the beast reared mightily, nearly ripping itself free from its handler before its owner crossed the yard. Indeed, Stannis had kept the beast well fed and groomed while his boy was imprisoned, it lacked for none of its partner's enthusiasm.

The horse tossed its head and stamped a hoof at him in challenge as he drew near. Stannis wasn't about to gratify that with a response. It didn't matter in any event. Naruto was positively giddy.

"Best. Father. Ever." he cried. "Remember when we used to ride together? I'd race you, but I always lost."

Stannis _did_ remember. It had been a simpler time. A happier time.

"You ride within the hour." He reminded his bastard, watching him keenly whilst he tenderly stroked the beast's head. "No colors. You're posing as a band of sellswords. At this point, they'd be a fool to turn you away...

...until we slit their throats." Naruto mused quietly as he tugged on a strap, securing the last of his gear on the horse. "You know, I never thought the Lord of Dragonstone would dirty his hands with something like this. Surely there are better ways. Cleaner ways." By way of answer Stannis offered a noise somewhere between a grunt and a sigh.

"You sound like Davos."

"Do I? Maybe he's right."

A haunted look flashed across his father's face.

"Cleaner ways don't win wars."

"Allies do." Naruto pointed out, grasping the mount's reins when it tried to canter. "You're not gonna have any if you keep assassinating everyone who threatens you."

"Just do as I say," Exasperated by the boy's continued impudence, Stannis experienced a great and terrible anger, roiling inside of him like a wild beast clamoring to get free from its cage. "Secure the Stark girls, then kill Jofrrey and Tomen. Mount their heads on a spike, if you wish." he added, after a moments thought. "If you _must_ spare the queen or the imp that'd work just as well. Tywin Lannister isn't likely to attack the city-not if we're holding one of _his_ precious children hostage. But kill the boys. I'll hear no more of it beyond that-

"Oh, yes you will!" Naruto slung the words right back in his face before he could finish. "You're going to draft a letter and send a raven to Mace Tyrell. Right now. Tonight."

Stannis glared back as his boy, incredulous. If there was a point, he wasn't seeing it.

 _"Why?"_

"Because he's a dirty little boot-licker who'll back the winning side...or whomever has the largest army." His heir replied, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "With Renly's forces added to our own and our new ships, that'd be us...for the time being. Tywin's too busy with Robb Stark to march on us yet; he thinks the Young Wolf's going to move on Casterly Rock."

"How do you know this?" Stannis blinked.

Their own scouts had reported no such activity!

"How else?" Naruto beamed, happy to at last have his father's full and undivided attention. "I already told you. I hear things. Whispers among whispers. As I said, you can be damn sure Mace will do whatever it takes to make his daughter queen. Right now, he thinks the Lannisters are the surest path to that goal."

"Unless I can sway him." Stannis interjected with a shake of his head. "Unlikely."

A blue eye swung towards him.

"You're capable of murdering your own brother-my uncle-and yet you don't think you can do this?"

"That's one thing and another-

"No, it isn't." His son shot his protest down like a raven in flight. "Margaery and Loras may loathe you for what you did, but they won't defy their father."

"And you're proposing what, exactly...?"

"Now you're getting to the meat of it." came the nod. "Offer him riches, lands, a betrothal, whatever you please. Hmm. On second thought," the blond paused on a sudden, considering, "better send that raven to his mother, Olenna. Those Tyrells may hate you for stealing their chance at royalty but if you offer them another _better_ opportunity," Naruto continued, shrugging on his cloak, "Even the Queen of Thorns will bite. All we have to do is bait the hook."

"And you think they'll bite."

"Ha!" Naruto scoffed. "I think we know who holds the _real_ power in Highgarden. Whether out of fear or foolishness, they won't refuse us. But make damn sure you don't have Mace riding against you when you come to take King's Landing. If he joins forces with Tywin and attacks from the rear, you'll be smashed against the walls of Kings Landing." A note of audible pain crept into the bastard's voice as they each considered this. "I'm you son, but I can't fight an entire army for you. I may be good, but I'm not a miracle worker."

"You'd be willing to marry Margaery, then?"

Naruto made a gagging sound.

"No...but I will do my duty."

"I seem to recall you saying the same to Walder Frey, once." Stannis mused thoughtfully. "When he offered you one of his daughters. You turned him down in the end."

 _"Ugh."_ The boy shuddered visibly. "Don't speak of him. I'd kill that old lech if I could."

"You were seven."

"Aye" Naruto snarled crossly, "And if I knew how to use a knife back then, I would've shoved it right up his-

"Anymore suggestions?" Stannis quipped dryly before the young man could continue.

"As a matter of fact, yes." Naruto replied thoughtfully, his brief flash of anger fading. "Robb Stark."

The brief flicker of amusement Stannis had once felt guttered out at the mention of that name.

Oh.

Oh, he didn't like where this was going.

Not one bit.

"What about him?"

"You need to make peace with him." Naruto pleaded earnestly. "Before your assault."

"The Young Wolf? He is no ally of mine." Stannis bristled coldly. "An upstart pup whose bitten off more than he can chew. He'll be crushed, just like the others."

"Is that so?" Naruto guffawed openly, exploding into scornful laughter. "Seven hells, Father! If he's an upstart, what am I? I'm only a few years older than him and you're sending me to attempt regicide!"

"I'll not hear of it!"

 _That_ was the wrong thing to say; Stannis realized it the moment those words burst from his lips. He wasn't accustomed to his children talking back to him. His son had gone beyond that, to outright questioning every bit of his authority. Where Shireen was happy yet silent in her protest, Naruto was determined and fierce, easily provoked and driven to anger.

Which was precisely what he'd just done.

"Oh, I get it." Like a spark to fire, the whiskered warrior drew back, incredulous. "Is that all I am to you, then? A blunt tool? A silent hammer to smash against your enemies?"

"Don't turn this on me." Stannis warned. "This isn't about you."

"But it is! That's the truth, isn't it?" Naruto challenged, clicking his tongue. "You don't want me to advise you, you just want me to kill for you."

"No more!"

"GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE AND LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE OLD MAN!" His only son rounded on him with such vehemence that the Lord of Dragonstone nearly drew his blade outright. "He only wants the North to himself. And can you blame him?! That little twat of a Lannister took his father's head, and holds his sisters captive, tormenting them daily. He's as much an ally in this as any! More than most! Promise him the vengeance he so desires, give him his sisters, let him _have_ the North! Do that, and he'll bring his banners to your cause! Twenty! Thousand! Men!"

"And what good are they?!"

"Men between us and Tywin Lannister's wrath if this siege goes south, that's what!" Naruto roared back, eyes flashing like dread rubies. "Because without me, it will!"

With that, the boy's outburst abruptly ended and silence rushed in to fill the void. Falling over the two Baratheons like a wet blanket, thick and cloying. Stannis glared at his son with a thunderous expression and Naruto returned it with a blaze of his own. Just as it had been back in the sealed tower, it seemed that neither would yield. At length, one spoke:

"I...

"I?" Naruto growled.

...will do as you ask. I will send a raven." Stannis relented to common sense with a sigh. At Naruto's smug expression, he hastened to add, "On your head be the consequences if he or Mace Tyrell refuses!" He almost hoped that they would; if Naruto's incredibly unlikely idea _did_ succeed, he'd never hear the end of it, even if he did take his rightful place on the Iron Throne.

"I know men almost as well as I know women, father." the blond said, his soft voice hard. "We only have to plant the idea. Now, if you'll excuse me." He spun back to Shadow without another word and yet another beat of silence forced itself between them. Stannis nearly growled in exasperation. How did this boy always managed to make him look like the villain? It was ridiculous! He didn't deny that the boy was just like his mother-as sharp with the sword as he was with his wit, but this...this pushed boundaries, even for him!

"This all hinges on you." With nothing more to say, he found himself driving this point home once more. "Make me proud."

For a moment, Naruto seemed to consider those words.

Then those blue eyes hardened into diamonds.

"I will do whatever is necessary."

Stannis grunted quietly.

"Good."

He'd never been any good with open displays of affection, even in his youth. War and rebellion had hardened him, forged his body and soul like iron. But he loved his children, even if he didn't truly know how to show it. Even so, he surprised himself with his own actions. Naruto started, the first open act of emotion on his father's part shocked him greatly. The firm embrace lasted all of an instant, but the look of utter consternation and utter befuddlement on the lad's face was well worth it, he decided.

"Try not to burn the city to the ground." A hand lingered, grasping the boy's arm.

Naruto grinned.

"I learned from the best."

In the end, the Lord of Dragonstone relented, watching with a practiced eye as his only son and heir waltzed away from him, capering towards the men he would soon lead into battle. This lot had been selected just for this task, men who didn't deem themselves too noble to kill women, the sort of killers who would use poison, surprise, or even outright treachery, to accomplish their goals. These men, they weren't soldiers. They were butchers. Criminals. And they were being led by the worst madman of them all. His beast of a son, who put on airs and pretended to be something he wasn't. He would either lead them to victory, or get the lot of them killed.

Either way, heads would roll.

Stannis waited just long enough for his son to meet the men, telling himself he wanted to make certain Naruto wouldn't kill any of them. Then he would depart.

He had letters to write, after all.

"So. You're the one leading us."

Naruto looked away as he felt the weight of his father's gaze settle firmly upon him; in the end, that was as much an admission of confidence as he'd ever receive from his parent. Turning to address the men who would be serving under him, he found himself rather...appalled, all things considered. He'd asked his father for men who didn't fear death, men who were "pretty damn ballsy" as he'd so eloquently put it. These lot, they were most likely murderers, rapers and thieves, vile-looking bastards, the lot of them.

The goliath who'd spoken proved no exception.

Aye, he was a tall one; a great big, brute of a man standing nearly two heads taller than him, bearing an equally large axe. Naruto imagined this fellow might give the Mountain a run for his money in that area alone. He certainly had the personality down pat. Dark of hair with a square jaw and a scarred face, he scowled down at him, exposing yellowed teeth and rotting gums.

"Is it you?" the man repeated.

"Aye." he flicked the man a dark look. "That'd be me. You got a name?"

"So Stannis sends a bastard to lead us." the giant disdained, ignoring him. "Shows how much he cares."

"Aye, I'm a bastard." Naruto chuckled. "The lot of you are probably bastards, too! We're a regular band of bastards, eh boys?!"

Laughter greeted his words.

Stannis knew his son; he knew what was about to happen as soon as the men started to laugh, once his son began to laugh with them. He wasn't at all surprised when Naruto decked the instigator, hit the man so hard the dirt seemed soft by comparison when he crashed into it. The poor sod yelped like a struck pig and lay there in the mud, groaning. By the time he finally recovered, the laughter had all but died. A deathly pall seized hold of the courtyard, the night broken only by the man's groans and crackling of torches.

"You little shit!" With a roar, the brute came up spitting and swinging. Naruto knocked him right back to the ground again before he could draw his weapon.

"What in seven hells was that?!"

"Well, that was me. Knocking. Your. Ass. To. The. Dirt." Rolling his shoulders, the young commander turned to face the rest of his men, feeling more alive than he had in years. "Anymore questions on whose in charge here?" When none dared to speak against him, he decided to take that as a show of acquiescence. "Right, then." he continued, scowling. "My father's probably paying each of you an absolutely _ridiculous_ sum of money to complete this task, and if you want to live to collect it, I suggest you remember that. Now I'll have your names. Speak up!"

"Marcus."

"Roth."

"Toth."

"Gavin."

The giant he'd felled growled around a swollen lip, "Ulric."

So the endless list of names rattled on, and like any good commander Naruto committed them to memory, one by one. Marcus was an unparalleled lockpick, or so he claimed. Roth and Toth-brothers he suspected-knew their way around a bow. Gavin boasted skill with twin daggers, an infamous cutthroat in Flea Bottom who'd fled to escape the authorities. Ulric was little more than a brute, but Naruto was surprised to learn that he was an Umber, not a Wilding from beyond the wall as he'd suspected. _H_ e looked like he knew how to swing that ax of his, at the very least.

He was just about to move down the line when he heard another voice.

"Eleanor Flowers. Formerly of Highgarden."

All eyes turned to the one who had spoken.

Naruto included.

His mouth drew down into a frown as a lithe figure stepped out amidst the others. He'd almost missed her in the dark, her smaller body hidden by the larger men. That frown drew deeper still, as she removed her hood. Deep green eyes framed by a bewitching red curtain of hair, cut severely short well below her chin with a matching scar against her neck. Her face might have been called soft, in another life. Now there was a hardness to it. A bitterness unmatched by those surrounding her, and anger that few could hope to know.

"We have a lady among us, it seems."

She gave the speaker a once over and frowned, unimpressed.

"That's a noble name." Marcus muttered. "From a noble house, eh?"

"I was." she replied simply, flecks of emerald flicking toward him. "I'm not, anymore."

"Why might that be?" Naruto found himself asking.

"What, you want my life story or something?" she scoffed. "Fine. My mother was a Redwyne. father was a visiting Lannister who raped her." came the harsh reply. "Obviously, the latter wouldn't claim me. Mother didn't take kindly to my "habits" after awhile, either, so here I am on my own. A sellsword."

"What habits were-

 _Thunk._

The jagged edge of a curved shield slammed into the ground with enough force to startle the nearby horses. Naruto whistled softly, eyeing the indent mere inches from his foot had once been. If he hadn't moved at the absolute last instant there, he'd be missing most of his toes. With a sharp tug, Eleanor ripped her unconventional slapped the sharpened instrument onto her back to join its twin and afforded him a grim smile. He knew the answer to his question in that instant, but her words confirmed it.

 _"Killing Lannisters."_

Naruto whistled softly and offered a grin of his own.

"Welcome aboard."

The rest varied wildly in their chosen profession beyond that in both origin and otherwise; there was even a man who'd apparently fled from the Watch and found refuge with Stannis. Poor sod wouldn't give his name, so he was dubbed Shaggy thanks to the tangled mess he called hair and his bristly beard. He didn't protest the name. They all seemed to hold one thing in common, however.

For better or worse, some reason or another, they all _despised_ the golden lions.

"And who are you?" Naruto asked as he came to the last of them.

This one looked downright _tame_ compared to the gang of cutthroats he'd just seen. By contrast, the boy had no weapons beyond the sheathed sword in his belt. His leathers and cloak were more that of a seafaring man than a warrior, and he didn't seem to have a violent bone in his body. Indeed, he seemed almost lost amidst Ulric, Eleanor, and the others. But he straightened up sure enough under Naruto's glare and replied in a firm, strong voice:

"Matthos, m'lord!"

"Any relation to Davos?" he asked, intrigued.

The lad faltered momentarily, but managed to recover. "His son, m'lord."

Naruto frowned.

"Stop with that "m'lord" crap." the assassin waved him off. "Just Naruto will do. I'm little more than a bastard given command for now, no need for titles." He paused as a dark thought occurred to him. "Say, does your father know you're here? No, wait. I know that look. He doesn't, does he?"

Matthos looked away, shamed. "He does not m-Naruto." he hastened to amend at the blond's withering glare. "His Grace thought I might be useful to you."

"Useful how?"

"I know how to sail, that is, my way around ships, and I'm good with a sword." When the bastard didn't interrupt, he dared to press on. "P-Please sir, don't turn me away," he stammered out. "I have faith in the Lord of Light. I have faith in our cause. I have faith in the son of the true king."

Naruto arched an eyebrow.

"Stannis isn't king. Not yet."

"But he will be." the lad insisted.

"Great." Gavin muttered. "He's religious."

"Little man." Ulric groused blackly. "Won't be much use in a fight."

"Shut it, the lot of you!"

In that moment, Naruto understood why Stannis had sent him this-seemingly unaccomplished-lad to aid him. Here was someone whose "faith" in the Lord of Light-and by definition Stannis-was nothing short of absolute in its sincerity. He was loyal, where others might not be. Faithful, where another man might be paid off. Devout, it seemed Mathos was precisely that. Almost absurdly so. It certainly helped that he knew a thing or two about ships. Perhaps that knowledge might prove useful in the capital.

"Alright," he relented. "Dismissed. Get your gear and horse ready with the others."

"Thank you, sir!"

"Aargh, don't call me that! Off with you, the lot of you! We leave in five minutes!"

The Son of the Stag lingered a moment longer as his unlikely band rushed to the horses, suddenly aware that his lord father was no longer present in the yard. Just as well. He wouldn't want him to witness that lapse of wisdom just now-

"You lead them well."

Naruto bristled even before the newcomer finished speaking; because he knew precisely who-or rather whom-it was. He'd heard her voice countless times before during his forays outside the tower and had always taken great pains to steer clear of her after their first encounter. Now it seemed as though all that work over these last five years had been in vain. He saw her across the way. Coming towards him.

Melisandre.

Granted he had only seen the Red Woman a handful of times before but he'd gone out of his way to avoid her each and every one of them. Having seen the effect she had on his father, the webs she wove, he had no intention of being caught in the lair of this spider. That she dared to approach him now could only mean that she wanted something. Be it his confidence-or his ear-or something far more sinister, he refused to give it her. It took everything he had not to bolt as she drew near. Not out of any real fear of course, but an emotion far darker.

"My lady." he forced through out through gritted teeth. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"You're about to depart." it was not a question.

Shadow whinnied anew and tried to edge away from Melisandre.

Naruto restrained his mount by the reins and ruthlessly bit back the urge to draw his blade and stick it somewhere he shouldn't.

"Yes," he said, "I'm afraid we're on a bit of a tight schedule."

"And you you believe you will succeed?" Her eerie eyes flitted to Mathos and his band of renegades. "With them?"

"I believe we have a chance, yes." he ground out through gritted teeth. "A small group has a better chance of eliminating the royal family and throwing the city into disarray beforehand." His hands clenched into fists at his back, itching to wrap themselves around her throat more and more for every instant she spent in his presence. It was only with a supreme effort that he managed to still them. Still, the subtle look of scorn lingering in her eyes was nearly enough to make him start forward.

"Many of them do not believe in our Lord."

"Begging your pardon, red," the assassin shot back icily, "But you don't need to be religious to swing a sword. And you mean "your" lord. I don't pray. Or did you forget?"

"I see."

"I suppose you do." Naruto shot back.

The wind took hold of her cloak as he looked on and sent it swirling in vile patterns, like a carpet of living flame. It almost seemed...alive, somehow. As if her very shadow was trying to swallow his. He drew back, more than a little repulsed by the sight and the image it conveyed.

"You're afraid of me." she sounded almost amused, noting his disgust.

"I fear what is dangerous, my lady." he rumbled.

"And you hate me." came the smile.

Something snapped deep inside Naruto.

Like a dam breaking, its floodwaters bursting forth, his anger tore itself from him. Losing hold of the tenuous leash on his own emotions he surged forwards!

"Aye, I hate ya." Snarling, the bastard swung around and took hold of her cloak, looking her square in her startled eyes. "I _despise_ you!" every word proved a furious hiss, blacker than the darkest pit. "I'd gut you right now and toss you in the sea if I thought I could get away with it. You have my father burning men and women at the stake in the name of your precious "Lord of Light". How long until Shireen, or I find ourselves there? How long until you convince him that his bastard boy and disfigured daughter are sinners? Before you tell him we don't belong in this world?"

"You have the blood of the one true king within your veins." Her hand rose to cup a whiskered cheek and infuriated, he shook it away. "I would never misuse you."

The look in her eyes enraged him even more.

Whether it was his own intuition or something far darker, he knew not, but something drove him to speak again.

"Don't touch my sister."

"On the contrary, I did not come here to threaten you or your sister." the red woman laughed melodiously. "Since our Lord's chosen has seen fit to give you this mission, I came to bring you a gift." Withdrawing a pair of flasks from her sleeves, she held them up for Naruto to inspect, then offered them to him.

The blond eyed the vials with a keen eye, still wary of her. "And this is?"

"Throw them on the ground and they will produce a black mist no man can see through." she offered. "It may be useful to you."

He snatched them up and stowed the flasks in his belt.

"I'll keep that in mind-

 _"I am offering myself as well."_

Naruto nearly choked on his own spit!

"I beg your pardon?!"

"Your mission is of utmost importance and it is vital that you succeed." Melisandre continued in her strange, placid voice. "I have been expressly forbidden from traveling with the armada." she pointed out, continuing. "I was not, however forbidden from traveling with you."

"I have twenty good men-

"-you're counting the boy?-"

-and I don't need you." he finished flatly.

"I can give you a son." she cajoled.

Despite his own anger, Naruto felt his cheeks turn red as a sugar beet.

"Are you mad?!" he sputtered! "I have no need of children!"

"How do you think your father slew Renly?" Melisandre purred, rich in her satisfaction. "My "son" slew him with no danger to your father."

"Then get another "son" off of him with your bloody magic!"

"I cannot." the red woman shook her head. "The process will likely kill him. I would require someone...else." Her gaze seemed to bore into him as she spoke, hauntingly so. The implications of her words were clear, and against his will, he felt his eyes flick downward. It _was_ rather tempting, wondering what was beneath that robe...

"Me." Naruto deadpanned.

"Yes. Do you not want me?"

Something in her words snapped him out of the trance and the youth's hand flew to his dagger.

"Enough!"

Melisandre backed away, relenting.

"For your sake, I am going to pretend we didn't have this conversation." He put in with a fierce bluntness, leading his horse away briskly from her. "And that you didn't just try to defy my father's orders. Good evening, Lady Melisandre."

"Remember young prince," she called to him, "The night is dark and full of terrors."

Naruto frowned. "I'm not a prince." he called back. "Never have been."

The Red Woman smiled in return.

"But you will be."

Her words chilled him.

Setting his mount into an easy canter, he started towards the gate where the rest of his merry little band had gathered.

He didn't dare look back until he was certain the woman-witch!-had left the yard.

Naruto experienced unutterable relief once Melisandre was out of sight. Attractive though she might be, the woman rubbed him the wrong way. With her oft-unblinking eyes and soft spoken manner, her prophecies and eerie devotion, there was just something...off, about her. He didn't fear that she'd betray his father, oh no, rather, he feared what she might compel him to do. What she had nearly compelled him, to do. Stannis prized victory above all else, but the way that this red woman shadowed him everywhere he went...it was almost as if-

"Crazy witch."

The blond cocked his head aside as Eleanor capered up to him on her horse, spitting curses. Her bright eyes burned fierce with barely restrained anger, her face set in a stern scowl. For a split second he actually thought she was going to chase after Melisandre and run her down. Now wouldn't that be a sight? But no, the redhead stayed her mount beside him at the last instant, dashing that brief fantasy of the Red Woman's demise. "My lord." she nodded at his questing stare. Those eerie green orbs bored into him like daggers and he returned her bleak stare with one of his own.

"Please tell me she isn't coming with us." Eleanor said at last, the words a silent plea.

Naruto shook his head.

"She isn't."

...good." The young woman visibly deflated, relieved. "That's...good. Good. Thank the gods." she shook her head slowly, the motion sending her scarlet tresses swirling, lofting around her head like a halo. In that instant he thought he saw something in those haunting green eyes, a flash of vulnerability gone with the breeze. Whatever it was, it vanished when next she looked at him. Curious, the bastard stayed his feet. Her reaction was nearly identical to his own, as

"You have something against her?"

"Don't have to. She's a Red Priestess." Eleanor spat viciously on the ground and threw a wild look at him. "We have a more colorful word for them back in Highgarden, my lord."

"I can't imagine what." Naruto sighed. "And why must everyone call me that? I'm _not_ a lord."

"Take it from someone who knows; once a lord, _always_ a lord." Her horse stamped a hoof impatiently, and the smirk disappeared into the dust. "Shall we, then?"

"By your leave, _my lady."_ he snarked back.

 _That_ almost got a smile out of Eleanor.

"Maybe you're not so bad after all, my lord." she answered loftily. "Lets see how well you can ride."

Naruto grinned at the challenge.

"Now's as good a time as any I suppose."

Mounting his horse, the Son of the Stag cleared his voice and spoke in command:

"Hear me!"

Heads turned as the thunderous shout of his words pierced the yard, demanding attention. It was a trait inherited from his father; he knew how to take charge. How to lead. Naruto took a small moment to savor the full weight of their attention. It was a rich, heady feeling, being in command again and the darkest part of his soul thrilled at the prospects of the impending slaughter to come. He'd been holding himself back now for far too long now, ignoring the voices in his head, abstaining from his darker impulses and his hands itched to kill.

 _Soon._

"Come with me, and lay lions low!" He cried, drawing his blade! "Come with me, and take Kings Landing! Come with me and claim your fortune! Come with me and have your _vengeance!_ They will sing tales of us! We will be legends! The Terrible Twenty! The ones who destroyed the Lannisters from within! The killers of kings! Destroyers of dynasties! With me now! WITH ME NOW!"

Loud cries answered him.

" _Hiyah!"_

Cracking the reins, he set his mount into a fierce gallop and pounded through the open gate.

* * *

 _(Some Days Later...)_

* * *

And so it went.

Days of hard riding with nearly no rest followed; they had to make good time to the capital before Stannis set sail. There was precious little time left for conversation, for all they knew, the fleet could be sailing to King's Landing even now. There would be no reinforcements. If they failed they would be executed, and the coming siege would be that much more difficult. If they triumphed...now, in that way lay riches and glory. Fame and fortune awaited, so long as they succeeded. They weren't even accosted on the road.

It was easy.

They were let into the city without so much as a passing glance; it was just as Stannis said, Kings Landing couldn't afford to turn away any sword. Even if they had to pay said swords to fight beside them. "King" Joffrey forces were sorely undermanned and the Crown was more than willing to pay any who would throw in with them against the coming storm. Of course, someone had to be certain that these blades wouldn't turn on them at the drop of a hat. Someone who saw knives in every corner, someone so excessively paranoid _-rightly so in this case!-_ that she felt the need to question him straight away.

Almost too easy.

So really, Naruto wasn't surprised to find himself trussed up in the middle of the night, yanked out of the inn, and brought before the Queen herself. Eleanor hadn't been happy about the interruption at that either; the guards had chosen perhaps the worst possible moment to interrupt-while she was atop him. He'd barely had time to bar the door and shimmy into something resembling his armor before they'd broke in. It was a piss-poor way to ruin what had been shaping up to a _fine_ evening.

What?

He was a man!

A man had his needs!

It helped that the son of Stannis had been expecting just such a thing of course; given Cersei's reputation. She wasn't half as smart as she thought she was. A lesser man might've been horribly frightened by the whole ordeal, but he'd lived through far worse. He'd been beaten, burned, stabbed, shot full of arrows, fallen from incredible heights and lived to tell tales of them all. By contrast,a little late night roughhousing meant nothing to him.

It was all part of the plan.

Rough hands flung the door open and hurled him down on the floor just a touch too harshly; adding insult to injury, someone slugged him from behind when he tried to find his feet. His head kissed the marble floor with a loud crack and he tasted acid in his mouth. Blood boiling, Naruto narrowly managed to restrain himself and feign weakness instead of ripping the man's lungs out of his ugly mouth. Not now. So, he lay there, groaning softly, pretending to have no strength at all.

"This is the one?" a rich, cultured voice liked poisoned honey trickled into his still sringing ears. "Not very impressive, is he?"

"Afraid so, your grace." one grunted. "Didn't even put up a fight."

"Make him stand." came the command.

He didn't need to see to know that his tormentors were smiling.

"Alright, you, get up!"

A hand drew back to strike him again-

-and Naruto lunged upward and slugged the man with enough force to shatter his jaw like glass. He was out before his boneless body hit the floor. Cursing, his partner spun and moved to draw his blade, only to find his very sword arm wrenched down with an agonizing crack. He didn't have a chance to scream before a back-fist drove him to the floor and into blackness. Two men, beaten in twice as many seconds. And not a sound was to be heard.

Pausing to inspect the fruits of his latest conquest, Naruto took a step back and bowed gracefully.

"Greetings, your grace. Perhaps, now that we've gotten the riffraff out of the way, we could dispense with the formalities?"

Cersei Lannister scowled.

Naruto simply smiled and awaited her answer. In that time, he took stock of the Queen Regent.

Hair like spun gold. A dress of Lannister red, with more gold.

 _Uck._

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he was able to lay eyes on the one responsible for all this trouble-for getting his blood up in the first place-only to realize she was no one at all. Just a simpering women who acted as if she had all the power in the world when she really had no claim to at all. Nothing. At. All. He tamped down the instinctive surge of resentment upon realizing that this fool of a woman had allowed Ned Stark-whom he'd nothing but good things about from his father-to be slain in cold blood while she stood mere feet away. This was the mother of King Joffrey-little shit!-and a woman who couldn't control her children was worth less than dung in his eyes.

A parent was meant to counsel and console a child, not give them free reign to do as they pleased! Stannis had raised him with a firm hand, and whenever he'd gotten into trouble, the fault had been his own.

In that moment, he did have one positive thought of the Queen, however:

She had nice cheekbones.

"I should have you arrested." The Queen's gaze flicked to her two remaining guards, neither of whom dared to approach this suddenly dangerous interloper. "You've assaulted my guards." Ha! Some Kingsguard. Ah, but there it was at long last, that same scornful expression he'd been expecting ever since he'd left Dragonstone. Naruto found he wasn't surprised by Cersei's replies; if anything, the queen's less-than-subtle threat amused him, for he had heard worse highborn threats before from those who were actually willing to back them up.

"I did," he admitted handily, nodding in admittance of his guilt. "But to be fair-they assaulted _me_ first at the inn." he loosely nudged one of the unconscious men with a boot. "While I was having sex with a very lovely woman, mind you. You are a lovely woman yourself." the words slipped out before he could think to stop his tongue or himself for oh, he was enjoying this far more than he should. "Surely you understand how it feels to be interrupted during such...activities?"

At this remark, Cersei's eyes became thin, angry slits of green.

"What are you implying?"

"Nothing at all, my lady." Oh, he was implying _many_ things. "Merely that one does not enjoy life long without a lover. You must be lonely since his majesty died..."

Ah, perhaps he'd gone a _bit_ too far there.

 _'Brother fucker.'_

Despite the danger, the words danced at the tip of his tongue and he longed to speak them, if only to see her expression. Honestly, bedding your own brother was nearly bad enough, but to have children with them? To place a product of incest on the throne and let him do as he would?! Who did that these days?! Dark and twisted though he might be, even he had limits! Apparently so did the queen, because she all but exploded out of her chair, fair purpling.

"You come here, into MY city, my home, and insult me?!" she shrieked. "You _dare_ make threats?! I'll have your head!"

"Threats, your grace?" Naruto forced an innocent blink. "I am a humble sellsword. I do not make threats. People pay me to kill other people. Threats," he repeated, shaking his head. "No, I nothing of the sort. Promises, now, those are a different matter...

Cersei's mouth twisted in a rictus of disgust and fury at this remark, made absolutely livid at the subtle jab. And Naruto was left once more to wonder at the mindset of this woman; a queen who acted like an impetuous little girl, flinging threats that held little to no weight for him.

In all his years of experience he never had the privilege to meet royalty before. He'd been cooped up at Dragonstone like a badge of shame ever since the incident. Suffice to say, he was not impressed. Some said the Lannisters shit gold. Cersei certainly had golden hair and she was indeed beautiful, but in person she looked like a very harried woman who drank entirely too much for her own good. He couldn't help but wonder if her grace was already deep into her cups when she'd demanded his immediate presence here.

He was suddenly immensely grateful that Eleanor had prevented him from bringing his weapons. They'd surely have been taken from him, and then where would he be? Unarmed.

Granted, he was unarmed now, but at least he knew his gear awaited him once he escaped.

 _If_ he escaped.

Not that it mattered; he was wholly confident he could snap the Queen's pretty little neck with his bare hands if it came down to it. Evading the guards was another matter, but one he still remained confident in. But, as much part of him wanted to simply lunge across the room and end her life at this very moment, he recognized the ill-timing of such a decision.

Now was not that time.

"Putting promises aside, to what do I owe the pleasure of this unexpected audience, your grace?" he asked amicably, sidestepping her ire as easily as one would a large log. "My men and I only just entered the city and I'm afraid they're not presentable at the moment. I was going to present myself to you on the morrow and ask for you, but-

"Get to the point." the words were a hiss.

Swallowing his laughter, Naruto bent the knee before her.

"I wish to offer myself and my men into your service."

Cersei blinked, but recovered quickly from the shock of his proposal.

Her reaction was much as he'd expected.

 _"Kill him!"_

* * *

 _(Meanwhile, Miles Away...)_

* * *

Robb Stark was not a man of conviction.

Once he made up his mind, he could not be swayed.

More often than not he followed his heart in all things. And though this had seen him no end of trouble, he'd resolved to follow it through to the end when he'd gone to war. He'd never lost a battle since. Never once felt the cold knife of fear down his neck. Some might say he was too young to be afraid, to know the risks and consequences of his actions. Perhaps he was.

Now, however, he felt his hands tremble.

But not from fear, rather...

 _...excitement._

A pair of twin letters lay before him bearing the seal of Stannis Baratheon, Lord of Dragonstone.

Each was written in a crisp, clean hand. Each was no different than the other in that they were written by the same man and though they contained two parts of the same letter, overall, it was, well...astonishingly _blunt._ Delivered by raven and armed escort both, which further drove the point home. Whomever had written these letters-and he knew well by now whom!-had wanted complete and utter assurance that the message reached its intended recipient. No less than _ten_ armed guards had escorted a harried looking man to their camp to bring him the latter. They'd arrived only days after the raven.

Together, they read:

 _Young Wolf,_

 _I offer my condolences on behalf of your father._

 _Once, I considered you an enemy. Recent events have given me reason to think otherwise. I will not lie; my first instinct was to destroy you, like the other pretenders. But my son believes in second chances. So for his sake and yours, I offer you this opportunity. There will not be another. Bend the knee to me, swear your fealty, and I will help you do what all your men cannot. I am led to believe that you have no interest in the Iron Throne, that you'd only wish for justice and the safe return of your sisters._

 _We shall see._

 _A man named Davos awaits you in the group that delivered the second portion of this letter. He is trustworthy. Give him your answer. If deemed satisfactory, he will send a raven to me and we will plan from there. If I do not hear from you within a week, or if Davos does not return, I will constitute this as an act of war and march on your forces with all my might once I've taken the Iron Throne._

 _Come with me to Kings Landing, join your forces with mine, and I will allow you to remain King in The North. I will not force Sansa nor Arya to marry my boy. They will be returned to you and such matters fall under the realm of your house not mine._

 _Come with me and take back what the usurper has stolen from you._

 _Come with me and take this city._

 _Take back your pride._

 _The choice is yours._

 _I await your reply._

 _~The One True King, Stannis Baratheon._

Yes, blunt was the best way to put it.

Baffled, Robb read it over again, peering over each word.

Stannis had a son?

He vaguely recalled hearing of something like that once, then nothing more of it.

Regardless, this was a grand opportunity, here before him. An alliance, of sorts. The idea of bending the knee to another king rankled him somewhat, but in the same vein, Stannis had been upfront with him. Clear and concise in the realm of terms. All he had to do was bend the knee and ride to Kings Landing with him. But a thorn of doubt pricked at him and held his hand back. Stannis had more than a hundred thousand men at his back. And now he wanted _his?_

Did he dare trust him?

Stannis was an honest man, it wasn't in him to betray someone. He knew that much. But did he _trust_ him? He knew he didn't have enough men to take King's Landing. Not on his own. Not yet. And what if he refused? Stannis outnumbered him ten-to-one. If he didn't they be crushed like an ant beneath a giant's boot. Did he dare drag out this war any longer on the matter of pride alone, when such an easy victory was offered unto him? Winter was coming. His bannermen grew more and more restless with each passing day. They wanted to go home. And once word about Talisa got out, he'd lose Walder Frey's support...

In the end, the answer was obvious.

Rising, he opened the flap to his tent and called for a guard.

"Bring Ser Davos to me." he said.

"My lord?"

"I have an answer for him."

* * *

 _(Back With Naruto...)_

* * *

"Is this really necessary?"

Naruto hadn't moved when the remaining Kingsguard drew their blades; nor had he blinked when they began a slow advance towards him. He'd remained standing there all the while, hands clasped behind his back. His eyes never left the Queen. When they were finally within range, he unclasped them and sighed. A sword passed through the space he'd been standing, nimbly dodged in a flowing retreat. One of the guards frowned and made a second attempt, only to find empty air, not blood at the end of his blade.

"You're going to be difficult about this, I see."

"I'm afraid I am." Cersei sneered. "I'm more inclined to send them your head instead."

"I do not believe that would be entirely successful, your grace."

Naruto restrained a thin smile of his own. Stupid woman. Did she really think she could intimidate him? He had no concern of his twenty being bought; you couldn't buy hatred like that, or loyalty. It made them difficult to control at times, but in their days on the road he'd come to understand that his unlikely band wanted nothing more than to see Lannister heads mounted on a spike. Really, it was almost frightening, or it would have been if he wasn't so used to the concept...

"Do you?" she snapped waspishly. "How so?"

"You would not be able to take my head, because I, unlike that child-beater behind you," blue eyes drifted to Ser Meryn Trant, "I am an accomplished killer and I practice, regularly. So, no," he answered stoically, for in that at least, he spoke the truth, "Your guards would die terrible, horrid deaths long before they could lay hands on me and there isn't a damned thing you could do about any of it." Naruto finished with a demure smile, watching her face purple all the while. Let her hate him. Let her seethe in her spite. In a few days, it wouldn't matter what she thought of him.

"You are unarmed, and I have two men with their swords drawn." she exclaimed, irate. "What could you do?"

But for now, he had a role to play, and he aimed to play it well.

"Might I demonstrate?" Naruto inquired, smiling. "You can at least let me defend myself against _one_ of your men."

"I don't think so-

"I need only your writing quill." he interjected.

Cersei fixed him with a flat look. She didn't believe him. Naruto didn't expect her to. He'd killed a man with less. Of course, she didn't know that. How could she?

"You have two more guards and I am unarmed." He pointed out quietly, shrugging. "You said so yourself. What could I possibly do? If I fail, I die. If I succeed, then you still have another guard by which to slay me. But you won't."

"And why not?"

"Because you're going to hire me in a moment."

Silence stretched between them like a band of rubber drawn taut and about to snap.

"Oh, very well." she sighed at last, waving one of her men away. "Humor me before you die."

Naruto nimbly caught the quill in hand and took three steps backward.

"You heard him, Ser Meryn." Cersei said, indicating the very child-beater he'd spoken of. "Prove your worth."

"My lady?"

If looks could kill, the man would've been a smoldering pile of ashes on the floor.

"Kill him, you fool!"

Naruto drew back an arm, smiling. "Any last words, friend?"

The Kingsguard laughed.

"You won't be able to-

"Do I have your permission to kill him, your grace?" the blond continued, ignoring the abuser's ineffectual rant.

Cersei arched an eyebrow, intrigued. He couldn't possibly...

"You may _try."_

Trant balked. "WHAT?!"

 _"Good."_

Naruto spun and hurled the writing implement with all his might before the Kingsguard could finish; the resulting was nothing short of spectacular. The quill leaped from his hand like an arrow from a bow, slicing into Ser Meryn Trant's unprotected throat as a knife would through butter, burying itself deep and cutting off his cries entirely. The armored knight gurgled in surprise, gawking at the hole in his neck, struggling to decide whether or not to pluck it own-

-until Naruto did it for him.

In a single liquid movement, the blond crossed the room and reached around, plucking the quill from the man's neck and opening his throat.

 _Then he slammed it into his forehead._

Ser Meryn Tranr tottered for a moment, eyes rolling in the back of his head like broken marbles. Then as if at some unseen signal he collapsed face forward. Forced through his skull upon his awkward landing, the impromptu dagger emerged into a grisly red spatter through the abuser's skull, spattering the floor crimson in gore. Cersei gawped, mouth working wordlessly as the scarlet stain crept across the floor. She had felt the impact most keenly, as if she had been the one slain, not her guard.

The remaining man looked like he was about to soil his breeches.

Instead of attacking however, Naruto merely raised his hands, showing himself to be defenseless once more.

"If I can do that with a pen, imagine what I can do with a _sword."_ the once pleasant words became a growl by the end, his calm eyes dark and angry. "If I wanted to, I could kill you right now, and you wouldn't be able to stop me. Then I'd kill the next man who came through that door, because you would scream when you died. And the next. Eventually I'd escape, and then I'd do the same to anyone whoever crossed me. Would you like that, your majesty?"

Thusly rattled, the Queen eyed him warily.

...I would not. What do you want?"

"As I said, I would like to serve you, your grace. Money would be nice, I suppose," Naruto returned to one knee, bowing and kneeling, lying and scraping as if he had been born to it. "But what I truly desire is simple acknowledgement. The chance to be a part of something greater than the life of a sellsword; to be a part of history. These men," his eyes rolled disdainfully in the direction of the quivering guard, "They are not men. They are boys in armor, boys who will _die_ defending you when Stannis comes, because they are not warriors. You will die. Your children will die." After a moment, he added, "There is nothing wrong with protecting those you love."

Now came his least favorite part.

The waiting.

For a moment, Naruto feared/thought she'd call his bluff and have him killed anyway. He hadn't been lying when he claimed he could kill her and her guards. But he could only kill so many before he slipped. Still Cersei maintained her silence, still. Then her expression turned thoughtful.

"Leave us."

Cersei banished her remaining guard with a gesture.

"But my lady-

"Leave us!"

Once the heavy door had closed, she fixed the blond with her most withering stare.

 _"Talk."_

* * *

 _(Late the Next Morning in Highgarden...)_

* * *

Mace Tyrell felt as though he'd read the letter a dozen times now.

The words stared back at him from the parchment, clear and concise.

 _Tyrell,_

 _If you still wish your daughter to be queen, you have a choice to make._

 _I suggest you choose wisely._

 _~The One True King, Stannis Baratheon._

How long had it been since the raven had delivered this? He couldn't even remember, such was the stress. How had a few lines driven him so mad?! What'd once seemed like a clear path to glory for his family only days before was now a murky, muddled mess. One he didn't know how to get himself-or his family for that matter-out of.

By right and law, Stannis was king. If the "rumors" were to be true, then Joffrey had no claim on the throne at all. Mace didn't much care for word of mouth

No, he wouldn't be telling Tywin Lannister of this, not at all. There was too much to consider. A fool he might be, but he knew better than to back the losing side. But which was that? Stannis? Rumor had it he'd slain his own brother and taken his banners for himself. Now word was the Young Wolf had gone to treat with him in person. From Dragonstone it was a short sail to King's Landing, and with those numbers, Stannis would surely wreak havoc on the defenders. Yes, it was all about the numbers.

Numbers added up in the end.

Tywin might prevail in this.

Then again, he might not.

Would it be wise to push this alliance with them through, or should he wait and see the victor for himself? Lord Baelish had worked tirelessly to negotiate such a pact, but that was before...this. Odds that might've once swung in the Lannister's favor were now beginning to tip ponderously towards Stannis Baratheon, and his would-be-ally in Robb Stark. Lannister or Baratheon. Joffrey, or Stannis. Only one could emerge victorious from the coming Battle of Blackwater. But which was which?! Worse, if he backed the losing side, he had no doubt he'd be annihilated!

All the Lannister gold in the world wouldn't save him if he chose wrong.

Fussing quietly, he pushed a clenched fist against his skull.

"Seven Hells...

* * *

 _(Once More with Naruto and Twenty...)_

* * *

"You. Absolute. Bastard."

"What can I say?!" Naruto crowed happily the next morning as Eleanor wrapped herself around him. "When you've lived the life I have you learn how to appease highborn idiots. Or barring that, intimidate them. Oh, she swore she'd have me killed at the first sign of disloyalty and all that, but what can I say? The woman loves her children. She'd to anything to keep them safe. Even hire killers like us."

"Seems almost a shame to kill 'em." Ulric muttered, sipping at his ale.

"Almost." Gavin scoffed.

Naruto snickered.

"Aye, almost."

More laughter followed.

After a harrowing evening resulting in a tremendous victory and a score of dead city watchmen on their behalf _-t'was the fools own fault for ambushing dangerous individuals late at night!-_ Naruto and company had retired to another, well fortified inn and paid the man enough money to ensure possession of it for the foreseeable future.

Stannis's gold hadn't gotten to waste, here.

Half of their number stood on watch in plain clothes near all the entrances-doors and windows both-to prevent another such intrusion or barring that, eavesdropping. If another such forced sortie _was_ attempted by the city watch, or anyone else, the poor sods would find themselves sent right back in a bloody box from whence they came.

"I can't believe the queen actually made you her personal...what, exactly?" Roth asked, pausing as he painstakingly crafted another arrow. "You didn't tell us, boss."

"Ahem." the blond coughed, his voice piquing in imitation of Cersei herself, "I believe the term was royal guardian and protector _-mmph?!"_

Eleanor clamped a hand around his mouth before he could continue.

"Quiet, you!" she chided, tightening her grip. "Loose lips make for loose talk." Even positioned as she was on his lap, his fellow bastard held his attention. "We can't keep talking like this!" When she finally spoke again he turned the full weight of his gaze upon her, her green eyes piercing his like jagged emerald daggers. "Have you forgotten that the Spider dwells within this city with all of his little birds? None of this must leave this room." those scorching orbs swept cross the room, pinning each man in turn. "Not a word."

"Spoilsport." Gavin grumbled, returning the whetstone to his blade. "Anyone tries to rat on us, we cut their throat. Dead men tell no tales."

"And slaughtering innocents doesn't?" she challenged coldly.

"S'worked for me so far." the one-eyed man sneered. "Don't see why not."

A beat of silence passed between the lot of them, broken swiftly by the another.

"So, ah, boss?" Toth began, echoing his twin's earlier statement, "Does that make you Joffrey's knight?"

"Ugh, no." Naruto moaned. "Don't remind me. Matthos and I have to meet the royal twat by noon today."

"Where is the little bugger, anyway?" Gavin asked, looking up from his now freshly sharpened blade.

"Reconnaissance." was all Naruto would say. "He's got Max with 'im. He'll be by short-

As if waiting for that very moment, a series of harsh thumps echoed against the northern door, a cod rattling off as he listened. One knock. Then two. Followed by four. Naruto had designed such a system in hopes of fooling any would-be intuders or spies who might come calling. Each and every one of his twenty had a different one and wouldn't be admitted without.

"Speak of the devil!"

Eleanor fixed him with a dry look. "I'm coming with you."

"Max and Mathos will be more than-

Her glare intensified.

-fine, fine." he relented. "Max will stay and you can take his place. Sound fair, my lady?"

His shield warrior flashed him a grin.

"As you say, _my lord."_

"I TOLD you not to-

The door swung open with a harsh clang, interrupting whatever else he might've said. Mathos shambled in, helping a swearing Max. One look at the stalwart man told all; his left leg was a bloodied mess, wrapped up in what one could only assume had once been cloth of some sort. A beat of awkward silence fell in the inn, until finally, Gavin surged out his chair and barred the door with a resounding clang. A furious oath answered him for his efforts.

"Seven fucking hells! Not so loud!"

"The hell happened to him?" Ulric laughed.

Mathos grimaced, helping the swearing soldier to a chair.

"He threatened a guard and took an arrow to the knee."

"Oi, seriously?"

"You did kill him, right?" Naruto groaned, pinching the brow of his nose. _"Please_ tell me the guard is dead."

"Tossed 'em over the wall." Max grunted. "Into the sea. Lets see him swim with that fancy armor!"

"Did anyone see you?"

"I-

 _"Max."_

"N-No." the man hastened to add. "Least, I don't think so...

"Mathos?"

"No one saw us, my lord." the boy responded clearly. "Someone may have heard the shout, though...

"Lovely."

Shaggy frowned, grunted a question and gestured with his odd-fingered hand.

"Nah, we'll be fine." Naruto hissed, words dripping with sarcasm. "What's the worst that could happen?"

Sighing, he pushed Eleanor off his lap and sat up.

"Was the information worth it?"

Matthos told him in no uncertain terms.

"Wildfire, eh? Nasty stuff."

And so he did.

Until duty called.

* * *

 _(...)_

* * *

The halls of the Red Keep were rather gloomy, all things considered.

Under King Joffrey's reign, many of the flowers had been plucked, and the prior decor stripped away; everywhere he went he saw Lannister red. It was there on the walls, and the floors and the ceiling. Servants scurried about with their heads down, avoiding his gaze. The few lords and ladies of the court who dared to look at him didn't do so for long, the presence of his entourage saw to that. The guards were even less friendly than he remembered; their faces were openly hostile, hands remained firmly fixed on their swords whenever they passed.

"Friendly bunch." Eleanor muttered crossly.

"Look at them," Mathos despaired at his left, "How can the possibly _live_ in this squalor? Is this what their gods tell them to do?"

 _"Quiet."_

Naruto shushed him, but his mind was elsewhere.

Fear.

It was strong her, so tangible as to assault his own senses. He could taste it in the air, see it in every averted gaze, hear it in their whispered voices when he stalked by. Many of these people were outright terrified; not of him, but of what might happen if they lingered. More than once he heard Joffrey's name pass their lips like a prayer, sometimes a curse. His name wasn't mentioned in the least, but their faces were telling enough. _I have a bad feeling about this..._

He suspected his audience with the King was going to be...

...unpleasant.

This lot shouldn't be frightened of their own king. A king was someone who served the people, not the other way around.

Naruto quietly vowed to change that once the Lannisters were outed. He might enjoy violence more than most, but he didn't relish fear. Well, fear in his _victims_ mayhaps, but not in bystanders unless-stop. Narrowly reining himself back in, the blond ruthlessly redirected his focus to the ceiling in the hopes of distracting himself. He had to maintain the facade; this mask of civility. Wait until he knew for certain that his Father was moving. There would be plenty of time for killing then.

Later.

"Be ready for anything." he muttered to Eleanor. "I have the feeling our welcome won't be a pleasant one."

His right hand grinned.

"Always."

As if to echo that very thought, a young woman in a torn blue dress hastened past them, momentarily diverting their attention. Red curls lofted past Naruto's vision, briefly framing a heart-shaped face and damp eyes. Something about it seemed familiar, enough to jog his memory and slow his pace. Red hair...red hair...where had he seen that before? It wasn't altogether an _uncommon_ trait in King's Landing, yet it caught at him all the same.

"Poor thing." Mathos muttered.

Naruto paused.

...what in the...?"

The memory came back to him in a rush.

 _Sansa Stark had red hair._

He wasn't sure what prompted him to call out to her; to speak to this strange woman he had never seen her before in his life, yet something game him pause. She reminded him of a spooked rabbit in a hall full of lions, terrified that something might spring out and devour her at any moment. He knew how it felt, the words were out of his mouth before he could think to take them back:

"Lady Stark?"

The lass spun, looking like a frightened doe, clutching the tattered remnants of her dress about her shoulders. Eyes red and puffy from crying blinked back at him, wholly bewildered.

"M-My Lord?"

"Not a lord." Naruto soothed, lowering his hand. "Just Naruto. a hired sword. Do you have a moment?"

She eyed him warily, clearly wanting to flee.

"I'm afraid we haven't met, Naruto. I must be going-

"Now wait just a minute!"

"You're hurting me!" Sansa cried out as he spun about and took hold of her arm and pulled her backward. Passerby glanced at the scene, but no one dared to challenge him. Why would they? Most probably thought this girl an enemy of the court itself-they didn't care what happened to her. True enough, her struggles were useless against him; unlike Eleanor she hadn't been trained in the art of combat and possessed precious little strength to speak of. However, a thorn of compassion pricked him and held him back.

Loosened his grip.

"What would you say if I could reunite you with your brother?" he asked, after a moment. Behind him, Eleanor and Mathos bristled. _Ah._ They feared he was blowing their cover and perhaps he was. But something inside Naruto, that small tiny sliver of humanity that still existed deep inside him wouldn't let it slide. He imagined Shireen-his own sister-in this very situation. Sobbing, terrified, in tears, her dress ruined, and something furious sparked to life in him. "Answer me!" he hissed. "Would you like to see your brother again?!"

Sansa's face went blank.

"My brother is a traitor." She recited the words on rote, as if from memory. "I am loyal to my King-

"Look at her. She's scared shitless." Eleanor bulled in before she could finish, scowling. "None of that, girl. We're not your enemies-

"And what have we here?"

Naruto spun to face the voice.

 _Crap._

Approaching down the corridor were, not a pair of guards as he'd feared, but someone else entirely. A rather roguish-looking individual who was clearly a hired mercenary of some sort, and a much shorter man bearing a golden badge on his tunic. Naruto recognized the insignia dead away and released Sansa, swearing softly to himself.

 _Double crap._

Well, so this then was the infamous imp he'd heard so much about. Strange. He didn't look the monster most made him to be. Oh, he was short to be sure, but beyond that he seemed quite normal. Even so, Naruto felt himself bristle as Tyrion drew near. Anyone who'd been named Hand of the King, even temporarily, was worthy of respect. And extreme caution. There was no telling what he might've overhead. He hadn't said anything incriminating, but no, this looked more than suspicious...

"Only a day in the service of my beloved sister and already I find you plotting behind her back." Abruptly, his stoic expression collapsed into a wry smile. "I'm joking, of course. No, no, by all means!" he waved them on merrily, "Plot away. Anything that brings Cersei trouble is a welcome sight for me."

"My lord." Sansa curtsied hastily.

"Ah, Lady Sansa. I'm terribly sorry for that mess in the throne room," Tyrion replied. "I'm afraid I must apologize once again on my nephew's behalf."

"N-Not at all, my lord. It was I who was at fault."

"Just Tyrion will do." The dwarf shook his head. "I'll have a new dress made and brought to your quarters straight away."

"You are too kind."

Sansa scurried away quickly before Naruto could get a word in.

And just like that, the Son of the Stag found himself trapped with the Hand of the King. Mathos looked like he wanted nothing more than to keep walking. Eleanor had gone positively rigid, her eyes locked on Tyrion like a hawk as the silence stretched on. Naruto was beginning to fear that she'd do something horribly foolish and get the lot of them apprehended or worse when, finally, someone coughed.

"Well," Tyrion began, "here we are."

"So it would seem," Naruto ventured cautiously, uncertain of what to say, of how to explain this situation away. "Can't say I've had the pleasure, your lordship." He found himself wholly out of his depth here, uncertain what the man wanted with him. Encountering Sansa had thrown his thoughts into disarray. Meeting Tyrion hadn't been a part of the greater scheme either and he was forced to take a step back and reassess just what he would say to a man who could make the next few days a living hell for him if he wished.

"What were you doing with Lady Sansa?" Tyrion asked abruptly.

Eleanor swooped in before he could think.

"Why don't you tell us what happened, first?"

"Ah, that." The Lannister actually had the good grace to look abashed, at the mention of the incident. "I'm afraid my nephew's been in a bit of a sour mood, as of late." At the woman's questing look, he frowned. "You haven't heard? The Young Wolf joined his armies with Stannis." these words emerged as a painful grimace. "Rumor has it they routed the Mountain and now they're marching on King's Landing as we speak. Alas, our wise king chose to take his anger out on Lady Sansa...

Inwardly, Naruto rejoiced.

 _'Yes! He listened, after all!'_

Outwardly however, he forced a small sigh of his own. "Well, that's poor news for me! I have an audience with him at noon." Tyrion blinked, then turned his gaze to the garden, where the sun was just now beginning its descent. The beginnings of a smile plucked at his square jaw. Clearly, he didn't adhere to the Joffrey's every whim, either.

"I believe its well past Noon."

"Well," the blond shrugged, "Kings can't always have their way now, can they?"

The Hand of the King seemed to consider that, for a moment. Then, inexplicably, he relented.

"Bronn," he introduced. "Meet Naruto. He's to be your replacement once this mess is behind us-or so I hear." After a moment the sellsword extended his hand. Naruto took the offered arm and gripped it firmly, fighting back a smile of his own.

"Hear you knocked around some of my lads last night." the taller of the two quipped.

The assassin blinked. "Your men? I wasn't aware you commanded idiots."

Bronn chuckled.

"I don't. Queen took charge of a few without tellin' me." then he noticed Eleanor. "And who is this?"

"Death on legs." the shield maiden quipped dryly.

Bronn gulped.

"Noted."

"If there's nothing else, I should be going-

"Might I have a word?"

Naruto froze.

Tyrion was no fool; he couldn't be baited or tricked like Cersei, and he wasn't half as paranoid. He _was_ dangerous. As acting-Hand of the King he had every right to be. The slightest slip might give him away. Perhaps it might be better to just cut his losses now? Eleanor was spoiling for a fight, one he didn't want to give her, but if it came down to it...

His frown deepened, put on edge by the inquiry. "Need something else, your lordship?"

"Given the choice, would you choose peace? Or violence?"

Naruto smiled thinly.

"Depends."

"Oh?"

"Yup." the killer found himself nodded slowly in agreement, thumbing his chin. "Peace is nice, but violence, I can understand. Violence I can predict. Violence, I can control. Don't get me wrong, quiet's all well and good when the violence is over. A good fuck, a bit of rest, something to eat, and right back to it. I can usually tell which way a brawl or battle's going to swing. That's the thing about peace, though. Ya can't. You can't control it. There's always someone else who wants to knock you down, and once they do, it starts all over again...

"I'll leave you to it, then." He turned to depart. "Oh, and Naruto, was it?"

"Hmm?" the blond blinked quickly.

"Good luck...

 _'He knows!'_

...with the king."

 _'Or not.'_

Naruto watched him go, and in that instant, wondered what _in the seven hells just happened_. Had he been found out? Tyrion wasn't your typical Lannister. By his treatment of Sansa just now, he was downright atypical. He genuinely seemed to care for the people of this city. It was almost a pity he had to die. Didn't he? On one hand, talking to someone on his own mental level had been downright terrifying. On the other, he found that in hindsight, he'd almost _enjoyed_ their little verbal spar. There were precious few beyond his father who could so easily take his words and turn them on their head.

Naruto sighed and strode to the doors, hesitating.

Someone's voice could be heard even through the thick plating, and that someone did _not_ sound pleased. Evidently, Joffrey wasn'ttaking the news of Stannis's well after all. Which in turn, was going to make him even more of a bore than he already was. He didn't have to ask to know that the brat was going to be a right and proper pain in his ass; everything he'd heard about Joffrey thus far hadn't painted a very good picture of him. And they hadn't even met yet! Exhaling softly, he steeled both his body and mind for the ordeal ahead. It was going to take all of his restraint and determination to survive this meeting without killing someone.

Honestly, it was almost enough to make Naruto want to turn around, march out of the Red Keep, and pretend he'd all but forgotten this blasted meeting.

But he couldn't do that without blowing his cover now, could he?

"Little prick on a throne." Eleanor brooded, falling in beside him. "This'll be fun."

Naruto sighed.

"Let's get this shit over with."

With one swift push, he forced them open.

The flicker of killer intent was his only warning.

 _Twang!_

The doors had scarcely parted for entry when an angry bolt shrieked through them! Eleanor's shield thrust itself up mere moments before it would have struck its intended target; the stern metal denting slightly as a crossbow bolt caromed off it. Naruto was not behind that shield. In he time that it had taken his right hand to raise her right arm he'd already moved to the right, leaving the archer to look quite the fool indeed. Said archer awaited them at the end of the hall.

Joffrey awaited him upon the Iron Throne, crossbow half-cocked.

His expression was absolute priceless; Naruto wonder if he could frame it when he inevitably took the boy's head. Ah, what a fine picture it would make!

Baffled eyes flicked to Naruto in disbelief, back to Eleanor, then to where he'd been standing. The woman shot the king a black look, muscles jumping in her jaw. She looked all of three seconds from lunging across the hall and shoving that crossbow somewhere it didn't belong. Naruto was tempted to let her. Joffrey seemed to remember that there were other lords and ladies of the court present then, and hurried to compose himself, to no avail, as the deathly silence would attest.

"A fine shot, your grace." Naruto began loudly, for all to hear. "I thank you for testing my reflexes."

Joffrey bristled.

"Yes, well, _you're_ late." he sulked, sinking back into his throne like the petulant child he was, "I thought it prudent to see if you were as nimble as my mother claims. Perhaps its the company you keep?" Eleanor made a noise of disgust but Mathos tugged her back before the hotheaded warrior could do something foolish. Naruto merely nodded in false agreement, his attention already elsewhere.

It was very impressive, the Iron Throne.

All jagged edges and melted swords, it was both a thing of terrible beauty and immense sadness. How many lives had been lost, fighting over this thing? In a rare moment of profound sorrow, he realized that his actions here today and even in the near future would put nearly this entire city-and many in this very room-to the sword. There would be raiding, raping, pillaging and plundering alike once Stannis sacked the city. Thanks in no small part to this foolish little twat who took it upon himself to be an absolute ass to everyone he met.

And what happened when his father took hold of it?

Doubtless more bloodshed would follow.

All this, for a Game of Thrones.

No, not a throne he'd like to sit anytime soon, all things considered.

"I understand you killed Ser Meryn." the boy was continuing as Naruto came back to himself. "With a writing quill."

Naruto smiled softly at the memory.

"I did, your grace."

"How?" Joffrey demanded, sounding far too intrigued for the assassin's liking, "I wasn't aware that was possible."

"Easily, your grace." At the latter's muffled consternation, he continued ably, spinning his tale, "When you kill as I often as I do, it must be up close and personal. It can't be from afar-oh no! That simply won'd do. I find you you have to watch the life leave his eyes, to _see_ them die and know that you're responsible for ending their lives. Only a coward kills from afar. Surely your grace knows this?"

Joffrey reddened.

"Why has my mother hired you lot?"

"Your mother wishes you to be protected, your grace." Eleanor spoke up before he could think to stop her. "Since you cannot fend for yourself."

A deathly pall fell over the royal keep.

Joffrey balked. "What did you say?"

Realizing her mistake, the shield maiden cast him an anxious look. By now, the king's expression had become downright murderous. Leaning forward in his chair, Joffrey shrieked:

 _"What did she say?!"_

"Forgive her tongue, your grace. She spoke out of turn, but her words were my own." Taking a deep breath, Naruto stepped forward, deflecting the boy-king's wrath away from the worried warrior and onto himself. "It was I who meant to say that you cannot fight. Anyone who can't swing a sword is useless on the battlefield." For all his efforts to be blunt, he could feel the conversation getting out of hand, the situation slipping away despite his best efforts. If this was all it took to

"I should have your tongue cut out!" Joffrey raved! "You and your woman's!"

Naruto could feel himself slipping; when he reached for patience, he found only anger.

"You may try, your grace."

"I AM THE KING!"

"Yes! You are." The assassin snapped back with more irritation than he let on, "But until you can kill a grown man with a quill as I have, you are not a warrior and as such, an easy target." He drew back a step, exhaling softly. "And as such, you _do_ require protection. Your fabled kingsguard are useless against anyone of reasonable skill and your Kingslayer uncle is not here to protect you. My men and I, however, are and we have been paid handsomely to do so. But we cannot protect you if you insist on being unreasonable-

"Off with his head!"

"Oh, for the love of-!" Infuriated, Naruto spun and lashed out with a knife before anyone could close with him. The nearest guard went down with a wet gurge, collapsing in a bloody mess, his golden armor stained red with gore. Naruto was up the steps quick as you please before the dead man finished crumpling to the ground, eyes livid. It was, Eleanor thought, perhaps the most terrifying of him she'd ever seen. The man had nigh but vanished and the beast had come out to play.

 _Kill._

"You stupid, insufferable little _shit!_ Look what you've made me do!" The son of Stannis snarled. He didn't hear Joffrey's reply, if there was one. The voices were hissing at him furiously, drowning out all else. A curtain of red draped itself across his vision. The next man to attack the enraged blond found himself ripped off the floor and hurled across the room to the doors. Eleanor and Mathos balked at this inexplicably feet of strength but neither moved. No one moved but Naruto.

 _Kill him._

Joffrey backpedaled wildly at his advance until he retreat no more, his back slamming down into the throne. Naruto loomed over him, a terrible specter of wrath, but he did not touch the king. The insidious whispers in his ear-in his own mind-raved all the more for this failure, demanding action, demanding blood. It would be so simple, they argued. So easy. Why did he have to wait until the attack? Do it now! Take his head, Cersei's head, and all the heads of Kings Landing! They deserved it! Yes, yes, they deserved...

 _Kill him!_

A hand twitched toward his blade.

 _KILL! HIM!_

"No."

Joffrey collapsed backwards in a boneless help as the Son of the Stag leaned over him, teeth bared like fangs. Naruto sniffed, noting with no small satisfaction that the boy appeared to have soiled his trousers. Good. Let the little king stink like the shit he was. Let him sit in his stink

"N-No?"

"If you mean to kill me, draw your weapon boy and draw it now!" Naruto hissed! "The man who passes the sentence, should swing the sword! So swing it, if you dare! No?" Wild eyes the color of old blood fixed firm on the king. "Make your choice. Here an' now. Your men can't kill me. And neither will you. Your mother ordered me to keep you safe, and by the gods above and below I mean to do it! Even if its from your own stupidity." Forcing a trembling hand from his sheathed sword, he straightened. "I'm not going to attack you. This time. Don't do that shit again."

Joffrey didn't move.

"Tell his lordship I'll meet with him when he _isn't_ trying to kill me." Naruto snarled at the Hound. "And inform the queen."

Joffrey's man afforded him a grim smile.

"Her grace won't like that, sellsword."

"Then you can tell her that her fucking _son_ shot at me with a bloody crossbow for no fucking good reason." he spat, fling the expletive in his face. "She's lucky I didn't gut him like a pig. Now, if there's nothing else, I do believe our business has been concluded for the day."

 _'For now.'_

Spinning on his heel, the blond stormed down the steps at a brisk pace and marched out of the throne room, Eleanor and Mathos follwing at his heel. Neither said a word to him until they were well beyond the keep and within the streets Kings Landing, and even then the talk was scarce. It wasn't until they'd returned to their fortified inn, locked and barred the door, that any of his party dared to challenge him with anything resembling a look.

"That bad, eh?" Ulric chuckled, seeing the blood on the blond's face.

"Piss off, Umber."

"Ah, he speaks!"

In due course

Finally, Eleanor swallowed thickly and resolved herself to speak.

"Look, back there-

"Not. A. Fucking. Word." Naruto spun on the Redwyne, slamming her into the wall with such force she was sure her head would fly off. "Do you have any _idea_ what you started?" the words were something beyond a hiss; a snarl that barely resembled him at all. "What I nearly did back there when you couldn't _keep your mouth shut?"_ Eleanor tried to meet that gaze and failed horribly, something in her quailed at the eerily blank expression that her lover now wore. She'd seen him snap in the throne room, seen a new ripple in what had, until now, been a calm pool. Now, she understood why.

Naruto wasn't _sane._

"You almost killed the king?" she ventured warily.

"I ALMOST KILLED THE FUCKING KING!" he exploded, roaring furiously, hands flying into the air to tear at his hair. "And what good would that have done, huh?! Nothing! No, don't you fucking look away! You're going to _hear_ this, every bit of it! One dead king and a city prepared for attack. Not only would we have lost the element of surprise and tipped our hand, but any chance of sabotaging their plans would be gone. Out the window! I'd be dead, and the rest of you would be hunted down like dogs and flayed for sport. And we still might be after that outburst."

"I can't believe you actually did that." Mathos murmured. "The way you threw that man...I've never seen that...and your eyes..."

Baleful blue orbs swept towards to him like wildfire, silencing the sailor before he could finish. Eleanor took that chance to slink away and salvage what was left of her pride. Everyone recognized the rift that had formed between the pair; only time would tell if it would ever be repaired. Then, inexplicably, she paused at the edge of the threshold.

"Look, I'm sorry." he voice wavered. "It won't happen again."

"...just go." Naruto groaned into a hand. "Please."

"I said I was sorr-

 _"Get."_

Eleanor.

Got.

"..."

"Wait, wait, wait, I thought you wanted to kill him?" Gavin frowned once he was certain she had all but sealed herself in the adjoining room. "I mean, I get the speech, but why not just kill all the bloody Lannisters now and leave 'em leaderless? Wouldn't that work just as well?" At the latter's silence he grew bolder and dared continue, "So far I'm hearing an awful lot of talking, but you seem to be the only one doing the killing around here." Rising from his seat, he thrust a knife at him across the table, demanding, "When do we get to see some action?!"

The assassin growled softly; it was the sound of a predator preparing to pounce.

"You will. We will. _On our terms._ Now put that knife down before I shove it up your ass."

Reluctantly, Naruto complied.

When no one dared challenge him further, Naruto reclaimed his seat near the hearth.

"Now," He began icily, "We are going to go over the plan one more time...

Days passed.

Plans were made. Discovered. Unmade. And then, almost before he knew it...

...the time came.

* * *

 _(...The Night of the Assault...)_

* * *

A cloaked shadow slipped out of the Red Keep and onto Lancel Lannister.

The poor sod never saw his death coming; never felt the sweet kiss of steel against his skull until it was too late. Strong arms caught the falling body and ruined skull both, marched them into a dark alley and left them there to rot with the rest.

Then the shadow moved on.

Clinging to the walls and avoiding the moonlight, it lurked in the darkness. Slithered down the streets and vanished over the wall. Within moments it scaled the imposing cliff face and descended to a waiting boat that'd been moored near the eastern gate. Once there, it rowed quietly towards a distant vessel, strong arms pulling the small craft inexorably forward. Some might've found themselves lost in the fog but the shadow did not waver, ever knowing of its destination.

Barely there unless you knew precisely where to look; insurmountable against the fog, far from shore and the naked eye. Anyone else would've wound up rowing in circles trying to find something that simply should not be there, but there it was and the man kept rowing. After what felt like an eternity the wraith finally saw it-a shadow against the mist, rising up in the still waters. He saw the emblem painted against its hull-the mark of the burning stag he knew so well-and sighed quietly to himself a the sight.

It felt like coming home.

A rope ladder awaited him against the hull.

Docking against it, the wraith secured the mooring and scurried up with all swiftness of a skilled climber. Near the top, a pair of firm arms reached down, took ahold of him and pulled him up. Cold steel touched his neck in an instant, only to be withdrawn just as suddenly. When his vision cleared he found himself staring back at a bearded face, worried and worn, made haggard by stress but still one he knew. An pair of strong arms like iron clamps encircled him and drew away, holding him at arms length.

"Gods boy, look at you!" a hearty, if worried voice greeted him. "You've grown!"

 _"Davos?"_

"Aye. Almost didn't recognize you under all the mud."

Naruto felt himself flush, and from more than a little shame. The man was like an uncle to him; he'd always done right by him all these years. And how had he repaid his kindness? By riding off with Mathos in the middle of the night without telling. He'd expected to be greeted with wrath and anger, not...this. He felt he owed it to the seaman to explain.

"Look, about Mathos, I'm sorry for just spiriting him away like that-

"Matthos?" Davos stiffened. "He's alive?"

"And kicking." Naruto found himself beaming at the mention of the man's son and squire. "I wouldn't have pulled this off without him. Your boy knows his way around a ship." his smile darkened. "And how to sabotage one." Mathos had been impressive in that pursuit; most impressive. Whereas the son of Stannis knew next to nothing of ships and how to sail them, Matthos knew much. That expertise had proved invaluable when the group had learned of the Lannister's plan to use the wildfire...

Davos's frown and words drew him away from the memory too soon.

"Sabotage? What do yo-

Before he could finish the sound of determined footfalls on deck demanded their attention. Soldiers formed ranks and drew aside. Naruto turned to face the newcomer, the ghost of a smile plucking at the corner of his mouth. For who should appear but Stannis Baratheon himself, the sea of men parting on the deck to make way for him. Naruto inclined his head curtly, but didn't bow, much to the consternation of Davos. By the time Stannis descended to the deck, the blond found himself smiling openly. It felt like ages since he'd seen him last. As though years had passed instead of weeks.

Father and son locked gazes.

"You need a shave." Stannis grunted after a long moment.

Naruto laughed.

"I suppose I do."

"What do you have, then?"

Just like that they were down to business. Naruto told his father in no uncertain terms what he'd been up to, what he'd done, the traps he'd prepared, the confidence and trust he'd secured and the dark seeds of chaos that had already been sown and were just waiting to take root. All that was needed now where the armies his father was to provide. And at the end he waited for a response, a word, some mention of acknowledgement or the praise he so desired.

"You exceeded my expectations."

That was as much a "thank you" as he could ever expect from his father, and it pained him slightly.

It would have to do for now.

"I don't have much time," he warned. "They'll be missing me and I'll need to get back before you begin."

Stannis smiled then, and it was a grim and dangerous thing that reminded Naruto precisely why he respected this man. "They'll be missing more than that once I'm through with them. Come and see." With one arm he turned and swept a hand towards the upper deck. Cloak swlrling in the mist, Naruto moved to follow him, hastening up the steps after his sire. He peered into the fog and frowned softly as it began to clear. At first, the sight didn't impress him. But then as the mist peeled away, tendrils of steam sweeping forth to reveal more and more sails, he felt his spirits begin to soar.

"Where did you get so many...

"You told me I needed allies." Strannis muttered sternly. "I found allies."

"Well, you'd do best to keep them back until I'm out of sight." Naruto replied, frowning. "Unless you want them to be cinders."

"Why?"

"Wildfire." he warned. "Tyrion's plan to cripple you. Your fleet would've been decimated if you charged in."

 _"Would?"_ Stannis seized on the word. "You have a plan?"

The boy beamed.

"We've already begun."

Without another word he leaped back into his tiny boat and began rowing like mad for the distant shore.

* * *

 _(...)_

* * *

"This way."

"Yes, m'lady." Eleanor ruthlessly swallowed another brewing insult as she followed the queen out of her chambers and towards the safe room. Her fingers twitched ruthlessly towards a hidden dagger as they walked, longing to plant it between the queen bitch's shoulder blades. Right in the vitals, severing the spine. It'd be a fitting end for someone so vicious and cruel. But she couldn't do it. It wasn't the presence of frail, young Tommen that stayed her hand, she told herself. She just couldn't do it, yet.

Not yet.

"Keep up!"

Gavin groaned quietly.

"Perhaps if m'lady would stop speaking?"

Eleanor was beginning to consider shoving that knife elsewhere, now.

Much to her chargin, she and Gavin had been charged with the oh-so-important duty of "protecting" Cersei for the duration of the siege. Alongside an assortment of Lannister Guards, of course. The real warriors were on the wall with Joffrey and anyone else he could scrounge up. Naruto was nowhere to be seen nor found, though the queen claimed he'd gone to protect Joffrey. Stupid woman. Why she would ever trust him to begin with was beyond her, another trait of the Lannisters for her to hate.

"As you say, your grace."

Cersei opened her mouth to issue another venemous retort-

That was when they heard the drums.

It started slowly at first, a distant rhythm in the air.

Then it grew louder, a furious pounding that drew closer and closer with each passing moment. One drum. Then another. And another. And another still! A cacophony of sound to tickle at Eleanor's ears, this eerie, enchanting pulse that seemed to echo relentlessly over and over, looping endlessly. Bewitching. Dark sails swept into exist in the mist-made visible through the thin slit of the window-numbering in the dozens-no, hundreds!

Cersei balked, frowning.

"What was that?"

Eleanor sighed.

"I'm sorry."

 _"Finally!"_

Gavin's roar of approval was the only warning before all hell broke loose.

Eleanor slashed with the razor edge of her poisoned blade, tearing a vicious rent in the face of her nearest companion. The Lannister sentry, caught completely unawares by the sheer savagery of her assault, crashed against a wall, screaming as he struggled to hold his torn visage together. A quick thrust with her blade put the man out of his misery.

Gavin's assault was far more vicious.

In a single fluid movement the cutthroat sprang forward and slit the nearest guard's throat. The blade bit deep and opened a red river there, soon joined by another as he turned upon the remaining guard. Startled as he was the poor fellow didn't last a moment. Twin daggers buried themselves in the man's eyes and emerged in a grisly red spray. Two more men fell to their blades and then it was done, and the dead were left to rot at the feet of those they had sworn to protect.

Realizing their treachery at last, Cersei shrieked and made to flee.

 _"Traitors!"_ she cried! "I'll see you hang for this!"

Eleanor struck her roughly with the back of her shield, sending the Queen Mother sprawling to the floor.

"You're not in control anymore, bitch. C'mere, lad!" Moving to block her, Gavin plucked Tommen from the queen's grasp and flung the witch herself at Eleanor. "Here. You take the wench. Make her watch." Despite the man's demand she spun away, averting her eyes as cold steel flashed out. A killer she might be, but something in her keened at the sight.

Cersei screamed.

 _"No!"_

"Shh," Gavin's voice cooed as a wet gurgle reached their ears. "Quiet, boy. Don't fight. Yes, like that. Just like that...

When Eleanor finally dared look back again, little Tommen was slumped on the ground, a broken puppet bereft of its strings. Tiny hands clutched a a red hole in his stomach, fisting feeblyagainst the stain in his clothes. Cersei all but collapsed in her arms, the fight draining right out of her. Eleanor let her go, feeling oddly numb. Was this it? Was this what she'd wanted? It felt...hollow somehow. Empty. Her hands felt numb, cold despite the armor they wore.

Cersei barely even noticed her remorse.

"No, no, no no no...

"Now now, no tears. Come here. I've a message for you from my employer."

Then, still smiling like the madman he was, Gavin pulled the Queen close, forcing the distraught mother to look at him. Blank, unseeing eyes regarded him as her child continued to cling to life. A dagger flashed out like wildfire, cutting wildly against the woman's face, disfiguring her. It was an ugly cut, dragging over half of her face to tear out part of her ear, a nasty, ugly thing. Cersei cried out and tried to scrambling away, but Gavin merely held her closer still. Smiling, he breathed:

"The Baratheons send their regards."

If Cerseif understood the meaning beyond the words, her wails didn't show it.

Then the bastard started cutting at her clothes.

"That's enough." Eleanor warned, growing agitated when the killer didn't listen. "Gavin! Enough! Stop!"

"Fuck you. I'm getting my money's worth." came the hiss. "What, do you think I mean to rape her? Ha! That'd be a mercy! No, I mean to rip this dress off her and parade her before the men! Do you have any idea what this bitch did to my family?! Do you?! This is justice!"

"If you kill her, Naruto will kill you."

"The boss wants me to do this."

Eleanor didn't stay long enough to learn if he was lying.

* * *

 _(...)_

* * *

 _"Ships approaching!"_

"Aaaaaaand that's my cue to wrap this up."

Naruto hummed quietly as he heard the distant cry from his freshly-claimedperch on the battlements. He and his precious "twenty" had already tasted Lannister blood more than once tonight and the siege hadn't even truly begun. Working from the darkness as a silent vanguard, they had already inflicted more damage on Tywin Lannister's precious legacy than any of his father's ships would. It was imperative that they secured Kings Landing before reinforcements arrived, which made his task all the more vital.

Twenty good men indeed.

Twenty good men were dangerous..

Led by him, twenty good men were downright lethal.

Doubtlessly his blades and theirs would drink their fill before the night was through.

He paused, considering his next targets.

The Hound.

Nope. All kinds of nope. He knew better than to mess with a man like that by himself.

The Imp.

Seemed a shame to kill him just yet. He was a competent strategist, but beyond that, a good man. Good men were in short supply these days, even if some of them were Lannisters. Slowly, almost lazily, he turned his gaze to his third and final target. A pompous little fool stamping about the battlements like a petulant child, shouting orders.

Joffrey.

Well, that decided things.

"Banzai." he muttered blackly to himself.

Positioning both feet on the ledge, he gathered himself up, took a running start and leapt...

...then he fell upon _Joffrey_ like a shadow.

* * *

 _(...)_

* * *

 _"Do you hear that?"_

Tyrion turned slowly, frowning as a distant whistling registered in his ears. Like the sound of a far-off arrow, or a distant explosion, perhaps. Or something falling very, very fast. That was ridiculous, of course. There was nothing to fall on their heads just yet-for now they were safe. For now. Yet still, that infernal whistling persisted! Where was it coming from?! Did it stem from his own paranoia-or was it something far darker? The dwarf didn't know, and _not knowing_ was far worse.

"What _is_ that?"

"I don't hear shit, dwarf." The Hound grunted.

Then the shadow fell upon Joffrey.

"Where are the rest of them?!"

Tyrion dropped the torch.

And nothing happened.

He waited moments, minutes, what felt like arrows, and nothing happened. Then, as he looked on, the ship began to list. Slightly at first but more and more noticeably until he realized what was wrong. Sinking. Before his very eyes the unmanned vessel began to yaw to the right, away from the approaching fleet. Damnit, Bronn! If he was going to fire now was the time. Now, before the ship sank! But no arrow came, and by the time Tyrion thought to order one of the men to knock one it was already too late. The ship sank to the bottom of Blackwater, and he felt his hopes for victory sink with it.

Somehow, someway, someone had sabotage their only hope for victory.

"What's going on?!" Joffrey demanded.

"Not now, you little fool!"

The boy purpled.

"I am your KING and I command-

 _"Incoming!"_

It was a spectacular assassination that the bards would write songs off; bold, precise, thorough. And absolutely lethal. By the time Joffrey realized what was happening it was already too late to save him. Even as Tyrion realized something was amiss the assassin crashed down onto Joff's shoulders like a heavy bag of flour, driving Joffrey to the ground with a dull crunch of bone meeting stone. The savage assault had the added bonus of driving near everyone back, affording the acting Hand of the King a prime view of the king's last moment.

 _"Aaaargh!"_

At this distance it was all Tyrion could do not to flinch at the lad's bloodcurdling scream. His very blood shivered. He felt the impact most keenly, almost as if it was his own. He heard the boy's back break, and his heart twinged. A cruel little creature though the king might be, no one deserved such a fate. If the killer took any pleasure in this his masked face reflected none of it. Blazing blue eyes leered out at him from within the slit of the visor, narrowing intently.

Then he started stabbing the king.

Down came the daggers again and again, descending mercilessly upon the boy's back. Puncturing armor and piercing vitals.

Cersei's vicious little bastard might have survived such injuries -men had done so in the past- until his assailant drove one of those valyrian steel daggers deeper into the boy's body. The blade found his throat, carving him a bloody red smile from ear to ear as it dragged across his jugular. A single twist of the wrist was all it took to cut off his gurgles entirely.

"Oi!"

Say what you would about Sandor Clegane, he was quick on the draw.

A furious storm of sword and fists descended upon the king's killer. Out of the whirlwind, he thought he heard laughter. The killer weaved away from his wild swings, backing away towards the parapet. Hooking a blade against the Hound's massive sword he dragged the larger man away with him, parrying furiously as he went.

One of Joffrey's Kingsguard cried out:

"To the King!"

Tyrion knew it was already too late to save him; Joffrey was already dead or dying. A grunt told him the Hound had fallen. Literally. He turned just in time to see the wraith kick the man off the parapet, forcing him the short drop to the ground below. Not enough to kill a man like Sandor Clegane, but enough to stun him. In a blur of black it spun on him, dagger drawn back, ready for the killing blow-

Then, incredibly, the wraith paused.

"Well, fancy meeting you here." the words were a hiss.

Tyrion couldn't find his voice.

He knew that drawl.

"You-

"Don't move!"

The assassin grinned and raised his arms high, hands clenched into fists. For a moment, Tyrion thought that he might surrender. Then he cast both hands down and hurled the contents of his palms to the ground. For a fleeting moment, the imp thought he saw a flash of glass in the firelight. They danced in the air for a long moment, spinning wildly end over end as they raced to the ground...

Then the flasks exploded.

Thick, noxious smoke poured forth from the depths, strangling his sight and taking his senses with it. For a moment-a terrible, awful moment, there was silence. Then the shouting began. Screaming All around him men were screaming. Dying. Knives flashed like silver in the smoke, dealing death to any who stumbled near. Blood soaked the stones with screams and something else; because over the sounds of blood and battle he heard something new, _smelled it, felt it-_

A roaring explosion.

The flash of green told him precisely where _some_ of the Wildfire had gone; someone had just hurled a massive jar of it at the mud gate. Even as he looked on, a flaming torch was flung against the wood. Time seemed to force itself into knots, slowing into a single eternity of a second. He watched the orange fire climb across the accelerant, creeping up towards the stone-

THOOM!

Tyrion was lucky; he was just far enough that the blast that ripped open the gate merely hurled him to the ground, rather than into the flames. Splinters of wood and stone swept past and he shielded his face, wincing a bit as the aftermath of the explosion swept over him. And then, as quickly as it had come, it was gone.

Dazzed, he stumbled away, scrubbing at his eyes.

What he saw there nearly broke his spirits entirely.

The mud gate lay open before him, and all of Stannis's army and his allies poured through it like a raging fire. So many. Too many. For every man a Lannister killed, five more fell to Baratheon blades. And were those _Tyrell_ banners there amongst them? Seven hells, they were! He turned to his men and found them fighting for their lives. The Hound was gone, having either fled as the defenders were overwhelmed or perished somewhere in the fray. The tide was turning...

...and it was turning against them.

With his fleet wholly intact, the usurper Stannis continued to land his countless ships and disgorge more and more of his soldiers, shoring up his vanguard. Tyrion had no such reinforcements to speak of. The men knew this and, disheartened and bereft of their king, they began to falter. Thousands of men crashed against the rock that was King's Landing and slowly, that rock began to crumble. Piece by piece, pebble by pebble, it came apart, chipped away at its very foundations.

Where was the wildfire?

Bronn, where was Bronn...?

As Tyrion was processing this, an arm wrapped around his throat and slammed him against the parapet. He struggled fiercely but his attacker was too strong; his grip too sure. Desperate, the Lannister reared back and smashed his head against his attacker's stomach. An annoyed grunt snaked through his ear.

And then he heard the voice.

"Someone once asked me if, given the opportunity, I'd choose peace or violence. I think I finally have an answer for you."

The vice on his windpipe tightened.

 _"I choose violence."_

"You?!"

That was Tyrion's last thought before something hard and blunt struck his head...

...and the sweet slumber of sleep took him.

 **A/N: And there you have it! VICTORY for Stannis! What consequences will this have down the line? What repercussions? And YES, before anyone worries, Tyrion lives!**

 **STANNIS! WINS!**

 **...The events of GOT ought to be quite different with him on the Iron Throne...will Naruto make it out of this one alive? But the questions don't end here! Now remember that Naruto at the moment, has little to nearly no power in this fic beyond his superior strength, stealth skills, and of course, his wit. He's still himself, just...hardened. And, in the end there will only be one king upon the Iron Throne, and all bloody hell is about to break loose!**

 **So...in the immortal words of Atlas...**

 **...Would You Kindly Review the story of this humble man? And enjoy the triple (POSSIBLE) preview! Dragons are coming! And where exactly is Naruto? Why is he here? VOTE on whether you want to see this or not! Or perhaps all three?!**

 **(Preview(S)**

 _Stannis was silent for a long moment._

 _Then he stood._

 _"Kneel."_

 _Naruto immediately did so._

 _After what felt like an eternity, the words washed over him._

 _"I, Stannis Baratheon, first of my name, do hereby declare you Naruto **Baratheon** , heir to all my lands and titles..._

* * *

 _"You play the Game well, my friend."_

 _Naruto looked up from the infuriating letter on his desk. Scowling, he crumpled it up and tossed it into the flames. Together, they watched the parchment blacken and curl amidst the fire, folding in on itself until it, and the hated words within were little more than ashes warming the hearth. Petyr noticed something most strange, then; when the prince's eyes flicked up to him, they were red as rubies._

 _Blood._

 _Red._

 _Slits._

 _"I am not," The son of Stannis began slowly, "nor have I ever been, your friend."_

 _"Come now, you've gone from a nameless bastard to the most eligible man in King's Landing, all in less than a fortnight." Lord Baelish smiled softly. "Everyone wants to be your friend. Those who served you in the battle of Blackwater are now lords themselves. What's next?" In the ensuing silence, he dared to circle the desk, continuing. "I suppose you COULD try and get your little whore officially recognized as a Redwyne, though that wouldn't sit well with the Tyrells. Rumor has it Margaery's pining for you-_

 _THUNK._

 _Littlefinger blinked, frowning as a dagger thudded into the stone floor._

 _"Careful." the blond warned._

 _"You don't trust me?"_

 _"Better safe than sorry." he returned_ _"What we don't know is usually what gets us killed."_

 _"A fine saying_ _." Littlefinger quipped._

 _"And I **still** don't trust you."_

 _"A better one."_

* * *

 _Naruto whistled softly as he stared at the tiny creature before him._

 _A dragon._

 _"Hsss!"_

 _"Wow," he hummed, "You're a fierce little guy, aint'cha?"_

 _Drogon hissed and nipped at his hand._

 _The whiskered warrior laughed._

 _"Hungry, too!"_

 **R &R! =D**


	3. Throne

**A/N: HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY TO YOU ALL ! NO, THIS IS NOT A PRANK XD**

 **HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY CRAP! JUST SAW _ANOTHER_ NEW GAME OF THRONES TRAILER ON YOUTUBE! WATCH IT! NOW! THIRTY SECONDS OF PURE AWESOME! I'm sooooo fired up for this and my muse has just LEAPED into overdrive with words to spare!**

 **But then again, I'm sure you could tell that by the word count.**

 **Now, before the third chapter** **, let's clarify things:**

 **FIRST!**

 **Jamie Lannister is still a captive of the Starks at this time and has not yet attempted an escape. Ergo, Jamie didn't kill Rickard Karstark's son and set off a chain reaction of events that led to Robb losing a good portion of his men. Add to that the fact that he's allied with Stannis-as you'll see in a POV here-and all of Tywin's children are firmly under the grasp of his enemies. What will Tywin do about this? You'll see.**

 **SECOND!**

 **The Tyrells are backing STANNIS at present, given his larger armies. I'm not sure if that was made clear last chapter, but it is and they are. Meaning the alliance Baelish tried to create fell through. This too, will have dear consequences in the future.**

 **THIRD!**

 **Naruto is NOT the kind of man who orders women raped on a whim. He does however, command twenty criminals to varying degrees, and his control over men like Gavin is far from absolute. I'd like to make that clear. He is, however, dealing with insanity-or is he?-and is usually quite sane unless provoked or pushed beyond his means, as he was last chapter.**

 **Now that we've gotten that bit of business out of the way, time for a warning!**

 **VIOLENCE AND DEATH AHOY!**

 **The Battle wraps up this chapter, and we see the consequences! And we see a MUCH darker-if slightly more humorous at times-side of Naruto here. And on a personal note!**

 **Remember, Naruto and Stannis have the throne, but now they have to KEEP it...**

 **I had sooooooooooo much fun writing this chapter. I think I captured the essence of Game of Thrones quite well, here...**

 _"You're in the great game now..._

 _...and the great game is terrifying. Until someone **smashes** the board."_

 _~Tyrion and Naruto._

 **Throne**

Crows wheeled overhead in morning light as the battle of the Blackwater drew to a painful, vicious end.

Lannister men fought and died like dogs in the streets and alleys of King's Landing. Not lions. _Dogs._ The defenders had fought long into the night and now, as morning came, as the sun cast its bloody rays upon the Red Keep, they fought harder still. A brave few ferociously fought to the last and died valiantly for their efforts. Others turned their cloak and turned on their fellows in the hopes of being spared by the invaders. Still, a great many more-including women and children-took heel and fled, quitting the city altogether. Those sorry souls would live to tell of this dark day, spread tales of the night that the Lion fell.

Baratheon.

Stark.

Tyrell.

Three great houses laid claim to this task-united in one common purpose, one goal. The last time such forces came together, the mighty Targaryen's themselves were laid low. By themselves, separate, any one of them would have surely failed against the Lannisters. Stannis Baratheon possessed a singular drive, but faced a difficult siege. Robb Stark had too few men. Mace Tyrell was entirely too cowardly and afraid to assault the Red Keep alone. Yes, alone, any one of them would've surely had a hard time of it, perhaps even failed in the undertaking.

Together, however...

 _Together_ , more than a _hundred thousand men_ surged into King's Landing and laid into it from within and without. Unprepared for such an assault, and with word of the King's abrupt assassination spreading like the very wildfire wielded against them, many began to lose hope. The moment the gates were breached they abandoned it all together. The wise and cowardly fled. Those men brave of foolish enough to stand their ground were mowed down on spear and sword in turn-as were those who ordered them to their deaths.

For we know the fate of tyrants and those who serve them, do we not?

They come crashing down.

 _"For King Joffrey!"_

Robb Stark barely heard the defender's terrified cry as he stormed the steps to the Red Keep. A single guard dared to bar his path. Eyes half-crazed with fear, sword quivering in his hands, armor loose and ill-fitting; the boy looked every like he'd been pressed into service only days-if not hours-before the siege had begun. And that had been hours ago.

No, with anger in hand and wrath blazing in his heart he wasn't hearing much at all.

Roaring, he lunged under the next man's desperate swing, parried the next wild sweep with the back of his hilt, and gutted him like a pig. For a fleeting, pivotal moment the guard hung on the end of his sword, gurgling in distress, his mouth a bloody orifice of agony. Then Robb ripped his weapon free with a vicious yank leaving the Lannister's entrails to spatter the stairs in grisly red relief, a discarded canvas left to rot. He didn't linger to hear the man's last words, or even watch him bleed out, he was already moving on up the stairs, cutting the next man down. Cries went up from those behind him:

 _"The King in the North!"_

Robb didn't want to hear the words.

But he did.

He heard them.

Heard it all.

The Young Wolf tried to ignore the assault on his senses; the sound of angry crows wheeling overhead, vicious dark shapes in the waxing light of the rising sun, the a scent of fire and smoke, the screams as Stannis and Mace Tyrell sacked the city through nigh and well into the morning. It had been a long and brutish night; those few who surrendered when the gates fell had been spared. The remaining defenders-and there were many-were still putting up a fight, fighting them block by city block.

Thus far, he'd put nearly every one of them to the sword.

In this matter at least, he proved partially successful. But try as he might, he couldn't blot the sights out.

Women were taken.

Men slaughtered.

Children wept.

The Lannisters had brought this upon themselves.

Robb hardened his heart and willed himself to press onward, to not care for the plight of those around him. They'd brought this upon themselves for their defiance. Stannis had honored his word and more to deliver him here. No promises had been made for the populace. This was not his fault, he told himself. He was not to blame, and he'd no men to spare in their defense. He could only end their suffering by finishing this battle, once and for all.

Of course, to do that, he had to find Stannis's man in all this chaos. The soon-to-be king's instructions had been almost painfully vague on that matter, but they'd at least provided him with a guideline.

 _Head for the throne._

So he'd made for the Red Keep.

It was here that the his true goal awaited, and it was here that the fighting was at its absolute thickest; he'd cut down ten men so far and the defenders showed no sign of slowing or stopping. Perhaps in knowing that the city was lost and reinforcements denied them, they'd gone mad. Or mayhaps they simply intended to take as many men with them as they could before they fell. Whatever the case they fought like men possessed, screaming and shouting to the last.

And so Robb fought.

Grey Wind at his right and flanked by his most trusted men he ran headlong into battle and damned be the consequences. Once, such a position would have been reserved for Theon Greyjoy. A loyal and trusted friend. A brother in arms. But Theon had betrayed him-a debt that would be paid in full!-and that spot was left empty. So he fought alone, dread coiling in his heart like an angry snake.

A spearman charged him and was summarily intercepted by Roose Bolton, his weapon shattered like kindly. Before long, his body matched that of his broken lance. Robb stepped over his corpse and pressed on, fierce and dauntless in the face of the enemy.

Now his only thoughts were dark ones, haunting each step.

Battlelust was well and truly upon Robb now; he had never fought with such ferocity in his life. Soldiers fought and died around him but he scarcely noticed their passing and barely felt a thing. He saw his father's death when he closed his eyes to blink; images of Sansa or Arya suffering such a fate-or worse-haunted him like his own shadow. No. He couldn't bear the thought of it. To come so far, only to lose them...merely _thinking_ of it threatened to shatter him so utterly that he'd never recover.

Grey Wind worried at a man's throat, his muzzle coming up red. The next to rush him met a similar fate; torn apart and cast aside like rotten meat. Before long, it began to seem as if their group was the only invading party present in the Red Keep at all-

The dull crunch of bone-meeting-metal said otherwise.

 _"Gah!"_

In the next instant, a severed head came careening around the corner. One of the men wasn't quick enough, and the flying projectile smashed him in the gut, flinging him down in a heap before caroming off a wall to land at Robb's feet. Helmet and all, visage frozen in a rictus of shock and fear, the face gawped up at the Young Wolf, as though the defender were truly startled to see him. After a moment's disgust, the Stark edged it away with his boot.

Wary, the Young Wolf edged around the corner-

"Is that all you've got?!"

-and found a pair of men were engaged in rigorous combat, not with each other, but with half-a-dozen Lannister men.

 _Three_ , as ax and dagger met in a man's flesh.

Whomever these men were, they clearly knew how to fight; the one wielding daggers better than most. Parrying one blade he lashed out with another, valyrian steel crashing harshly against crude iron. A flourish of a riposte ripped the man's weapon free and buried the second dagger hilt deep in the defender's chest. In the same motion he swept the legs of his other attacker and sent him crashing to the floor in a heap of frenzied curses and thrashing limbs. By then a third foe was upon him, and his valiant efforts secured _him_ a vicious strike to the face that left him gurgling blood and teeth.

Daggers fell, and the man gurgled no more.

A knife took him in the back, drawing a strangled snarl from the assassin.

Before his final victim could recover the masked man pounced, tackling him to the ground and holding him fast. Writhing around the thrashing man he wrapped an arm around the his throat, keeping his victim locked in an iron grip until their struggles ceased entirely. Just like that, three men were dead at his hands and he seemed no worse for the wear.

"Ha!" a young voiced crowed within the mask, "That's fifty!"

"Aye, we'll see!"

The giant beside him -for what else could one possibly call this great goliath of a man?!- fought just as ably with sheer force; blades bounced off the brute's thick armor with a thunderous clang, heralding a deathly knell for their wielders. A large hand snaked out with frightening speed, crushing a Lannister's throat and casting him aside into his fellows. They clamored to right themselves, but too slowly. With a mighty grunt the massive man's right arm arced back to heft an ax of gigantic proportions, bringing it to bear upon the unfortunate guards. A single stroke of that fell weapon and the remainder fell, their heads caved in like rotten fruit.

And just like that the brawl was over, and the pair were left standing bloody, triumphant.

"I think," the masked one said after a moment, "I won our little contest, Ulric."

The larger one exchanged a glance with his shorter companion and promptly burst into bountiful laughter.

"Oh? Those last one made fifty _-one_ for me!"

"I killed a _king!_ He's worth more points!"

"That you did!"

It was surreal, watching them bicker over such astronomical kill counts. And what was this about a king? Had the short one killed Joffrey? Given that display just now, it was certainly possible...

Whomever they were, they did not wear Lannister colors, those of Mace or Stannis or even those of his own men. Indeed, their uniform black vestments identified them as nothing and no one. Robb drew up short at the sight of them, uncertain of what to do, whether to attack or call out. Were these the allies Stannis had spoken of? They seemed more assassins and sell-swords than actual soldiers. Decency demanded that he make his presence known, yet this _was_ war, and any men who gloated over such death were sure to be a...

In the end, that choice was made for them.

Robb must've made a sound of some sort; because those blue eyes cut towards him with a sharp hiss.

"Dibs!"

"I saw 'em first!"

Quick as a whip, the giant surged forward! Startled, his men took to their heels and tried to seek solid ground, but they were still on the stairs and with so many there was nowhere to retreat to beyond the crowded well they'd just existed. Robb swore and raised his sword-

 _"Hold!"_

As swiftly as the man's assault had begun, so too did it end.

The one in black lowered his hand, the outlines of a frown forming behind the dark cloth masking his face. Slowly, like a rolling boulder, the giant drew backwards. His masked ally strode forwards, uncaring of the dozen blades pointed at him. He seemed to spring with every step, practically vibrating with boundless energy. Whether his blood was simply up, or something far darker was afoot, he knew not.

Only that he had a very, very, _very_ bad feeling about this.

"What have we here?" the assassin asked, flicking a dagger back into his belt. "Those aren't Lannister colors, and you certainly aren't Kingsuard. No, no I think-aha!" A hand scissored towards Roose and just like that the assassin was off, arrrowing towards the frowning man. "You! I know you. I _remember_ you." that masked head tilted, regarding him coolly. "How's Ramsay?"

 _...?"_

Robb had seldom seen the infamous Roose Bolton at a loss for words, but this was clearly one of them.

It was almost amusing, really.

"I don't believe I've had the pleasure, sir...?"

"Not a ser." the assassin chuckled. "There was that time when I ran away from home way back when and-meh, you know what? Forget I said anything," A hand waved dismissively, banishing common sense and leaving utter chaos in its place. "Happened a long time ago, doesn't matter now." He must've seen Robb winding up to speak, too, because those gloved fingers slashed imperiously through the air. "Right, right. You. Don't start talking. Wait a minute...wait a minute, there." Abruptly, his ice blue eyes slid eastward to Robb's right. "Is that a wolf? A _direwolf?_ " he became visibly excited at the word, eyes brightening. "It is, isn't it?"

"Bah." The giant snorted. "That one's just a pup!"

Grey Wind cocked his head aside, puzzled as the stranger attempted to pet it. Oddly enough, the direwolf allowed him this. The beast didn't even growl. It was a strange, almost tender moment, and Robb couldn't bring himself to understand half of what was going on. Then, incredibly, the wraith paused to regard Robb anew, straightening up.

"You're Robb Stark, aren't you?"

Slightly undone by the untoward greeting, the Lord of Winterfell balked.

"And you are?"

A bark of laughter answered the Young Wolf.

"You don't recognize me, either, do you?"

Ulric rumbled. "Hard to forget your ugly mug."

 _"What?"_

"Perhaps this will help." A hand reached up, tugging away the thick black fabric binding the young man's visage. Exposed were blue eyes the color of endless oceans and wild, flame-like hair. Whiskered cheeks pinched in a slight smile and oddly enough Robb found himself struck by the faintest sense of...nostalgia? A fragment of memory pricked at him like an angry thorn, demanding his attention. He _had_ _seen_ this man, somewhere before. Once, when he was very young.

But when, when had he-

"Really?" the assassin feigned hurt, "Does _no one_ remember me? You're killing me, here. Breaking my heart. Ah, whatever. I'm Naruto, since you've obviously forgotten who I am." the killer-in-black introduced himself with a graceless, shallow bow, shattering his thoughts. "No surname. This," his head jerked toward the giant at his left, "Is Ulric, but _I_ call him the Boulder." White teeth flashed at the giant. "I daresay he's earning his namesake, hmm?"

Ulric loomed over Robb, considering the Young Wolf with dark eyes.

"Thought you'd be older, boy." he said at last.

Robb bristled angrily.

"I'm not a boy."

"Bah!" Naruto gave a sudden bark of laughter. "You _are_ a boy." he said derisively. "Fuck," the word emerged as a strangled snarl as he plucked the blade from his back, uncaring of the bloody mess he made in doing so. "That's going to sting.

Roose arched an eyebrow. "You should get that seen to."

"What, this? Nah. I've had worse. I'll be fine."

"Now, then," hands clapped, he spun back to face them, looking every inch the madman Robb secretly suspected him to be. "I have gifts for you lot. Ulric!"

At his command the giant stepped forward and knelt, unlimbering the larger parcel on his back. Robb had first assumed it to be a rod of some sort, wrapped in thick cloth, mayhap a weapon he no longer used. It wasn't until the Umber unwrapped the opaque shroud that he saw its sheathe of wolf hide, and it was then that he well and truly recognized the large shape wrapped within. It was a weapon he'd seen countless times before in his youth, he'd even experienced the pleasure of holding it, once.

His heart leaped into his throat.

 _Ice._

"I always respected your father." Naruto confided in a quiet voice, his expression stoic as the young Stark accepted the massive blade. "He was a good man-a decent man!-and better than most. It makes sense that his sword should fall to you. Besides," he flashed a roguish grin, "Its not the size of the weapon that matters, eh? 'S'how you use it. Now then," he turned, facing an adjacent corridor, "If my lord will follow me to the throne room, perhaps we can talk _all_ about your sister-

"Sister?" The Young Wolf seized on the word. _Sister._ Not plural. "Seven hells, what now?!"

"Follow, then, if you want answers! I don't have time to stand around!"

 _"Hey!"_

It made for a rather odd -and amusing- argument all things considered; Naruto hadn't stopped walking, and in his brisk pace nearly left Robb behind. In the end the Young Wolf was forced to vigorously hasten after him while holding _Ice_ , lest he seem a fool in front of his men thanks to this impudent, flame-haired youth. This was made all the more awkward by Ulric's looming presence over his shoulder. The giant looked like he wanted to split him in two at the slightest provocation, and just might, given the chance.

That Roose Bolton and his men might be present to witness the entire debacle was embarrassing enough! Grey Wind kept up with the pair ably, loping beside the whiskered one with ease. Just _who_ was he?

"Do you treat all lords this way?" he asked at length.

"Only the ones I like." the whiskered warrior laughed hoarsely.

Robb didn't stop glowering.

"There it is, _there's_ the look I remember!" His host cried, grinning at his brooding. "You're so damned suspicous! I love it!"

"My men have scoured the city from top top bottom but we haven't been able to locate Arya." Was that the faintest note of apology, laced in the murderer's tone just now? Or was he imagining things? "Sansa however," Naruto continued with a growl, " _is_ here and has been absolutely miserable thanks to Joffrey. I'll be happy to bring her to personally you once we've cleared the keep."

Momentarily taken aback, Robb blinked. He'd expected some resistance, not...this.

"And the Kingslayer?"

"I've killed enough Lannisters for one day. Keep him for now, if you like." Naruto scoffed. "Or don't. Doesn't matter to me."

Now suspicions warred with outright anxiety. This was too easy. It had to be a trap. Had to be.

"If you're holding out on us-

"As I said," An irritated Naruto frowned, his gentle voice turning sharp, "Your precious will be delivered to you at the first opportunity, despite that _wholly_ unnecessary threat just now. As I was saying-"

 _"I say, wait!"_

A man in resplendent armor hurried around the corner before he could finish, moving with great speed. Robb thought he might crash into the wall but no, he slowed at the last moment. He didn't recognize the man, not with his helmet down, but the crest he bore was distantly familiar. Was that the mark of Highgarden on his shield? As if to confirm those very suspicions the man opened his visor to the world, revealing a handsome face that many a man in King's Landing would swoon for.

Robb Stark was not one of those men.

Naruto, however, afforded the knight a grim smile.

"Ser Loras."

The Knight of Flowers looked to be quite out of breath, but straightened up admirably.

"We've secured the safe room and the eastern stair." he announced grimly, looking as though he'd just eaten something foul. "It was as you said, the defenders were stretched too thin to make a difference. The keep is ours, as our the hostages." Robb didn't miss the subtle mention, there. Just how closely were the Tyrells allied with Stannis? Had they entered into a formal alliance after all? Loras's expression didn't seem to indicate as much, but who knew? This was precisely why he preferred the North. Less politics than the South by far!

"Well done." Naruto conceded with a curt nod. "Now, my lords, this way, if you please."

Robb consented to follow, but still one question niggled at him.

"How'd you do it?" he had to know.

"Simple." came he reply.

"Oh?"

 _"Never underestimate twenty good men."_

As though proof of those very words, their small company was met with a score of armed mercenaries just outside the door to the Iron Throne, none of them looking altogether pleasant. What was this? A double-cross? Indeed, not a one of them appeared pleased by the new arrivals. Perhaps it was the stress of war. Mayhap it was the tension. Or maybe he simply didn't trust the beguiling manner of this strange assassin. Whatever the case Robb very nearly drew his weapon, and likely would have, had not Naruto thrust himself between them.

"Sorry, sorry." the blond apologized amicably. "My men don't much like the nobility in these parts. C'mon, you lot! Make way for our guests! Ulric! Eleanor! With me!"

At his command the unruly mob parted, though not without some lingering glances. A woman with striking red hair peeled away from the group and moved to flank Naruto, her piercing green eyes cutting into him. Robb felt his hand linger on Ice's hilt. He would be glad to find his sisters and quit the South altogether; put it behind him and pretend that this mess never happened in the first place. Of course he could never do that. Never forget. The North Remembered and so did he. He would always remember.

Always.

"Well, then...

One hand braced itself against the doors.

Robb paused just long enough to wonder what that _stench_ was, but by then it was already too late.

"Behold, my lords!"

Naruto grinned wolfishly and swung the door open wide.

 _"Welcome!"_

Robb froze.

Loras gagged.

 _Joffrey and Tommen's severed heads_ were the very first thing they saw upon entering; the boy's faces thrust before them on a pair of spikes like some profane offering, petrified in their last glimpses horrified life. Their final expressions spoke volumes to their final fates. One of them was even missing an eye. Gods above! And there, further back, clad in a red guard's cloak and chained before the very throne that had caused the Stark family such untold misery...

"By the gods." he breathed...

If Natuto heard the muttered oath he didn't show it, nor did his smile lessen.

"I do hope you like the accommodations!"

Cersei Lannister merely whimpered and turned her head away at their approach. Robb recognized her-if only by her face. In the time since he'd seen her last someone had stripped away that overbearing arrogance that so defined her and its place lay a broken, shell of a woman. Her hair had suffered untold horror as well, as well. They'd taken a razor to her golden curls and they hadn't done a very good job of it, leaving them boyishly short. She looked like she wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

Sadly, their host wasn't having that.

In a few swift strides he crossed the room and took hold of her, forcing her out of her despondence. The chain itself allowed the Queen enough slack to move away from the steps, but the shackles still held her fast to the Throne itself. It was a punishment as cruel as it was violent, but Robb found himself to bitter to consider her modesty.

Naruto, even less so.

"I apologize for her state of undress." He remarked flippantly, touching a rough hand to her face. "One of my boys had the bright idea to strip her naked and parade her before the men. In the middle of a bloody battle, the idiot!" a slender arm waved towards a broken body near one of the pillars. "Such a pity. He was a good hand and an able sword, but I couldn't have him disobeying my commands out of petty vengeance. Now," he announced, spinning on a heel and spreading his arms, "I believe that my lady has something to tell m'lords. Who let Ned Stark die?"

Cersei grit her teeth.

"Perhaps I was too kind." Naruto bared his own in a smile far too false for Robb's liking. "Now, I'll ask it again. Who let Ned Stark die?"

Stubbornly, she held her tongue.

"I can just as easily ask Myrcella." the assassin continued with silken menace. "I'm sure she would be _happy_ to oblige me." the lie came easy to him, and it made Cersei quail. He wouldn't target Myrcella; she wasn't a threat and he wasn't about to go to Dorne just to spite one woman. Moreover, Myrcella held no part in any of his plans. The Martells could keep her and she could grow old and _die_ there for all he cared. Cersei did not, however, know this, and didn't have to. She need only fear what he might do to her only living child. And sure enough, the Queen crumbled.

"I did." she answered in a small voice.

"Good girl. And your brother-

Cersei spat in his face.

For a terrifying moment Robb thought Naruto was going to murder her right then and there and deny him his justice. What he did next boggled the mind. Slowly, painfully, the flame-haired youth reached up and wiped the spittle away from his face. Then, smiling, he placed a tender kiss on her forehead.

"Shame, shame, shame." he chanted softly, shaking his head. "What a shame. At least I'm honest with myself. I may be a bastard, but at least I'm an honest one. I know who I am. Not that I'm judging you, mind. I'm not. We love who we love and damned be the consequences. You're just paying for them a bit earlier than most." A pat on her cheek and he moved past, striding towards the Iron Throne with determination in his steps and bitter purpose in his gaze. With a grunt, he flung himself down onto it.

The very act itself smacked of contempt.

"Don't mind me." he chided at their questioning stares. "Just keeping it warm for _-ah."_

Abruptly, the doors parted in admittance once more, this time for an even larger contingent of men, stomping loudly. Robb recognized at once the distinctive colors of Stannis's men and sure enough, their leader stood at their head, armed and armored. His own men were all too easily swept away and aside into room, pressed towards the walls for lack of vehement protest. Naruto straightened at length and finally stood, relinquishing his hold on the throne and descending the steps at a brisk walk. The indifferent mask he'd once worn all but dissolved into a triumphant grin with a cry of:

 _"You made it!"_

Stannis paused just long enough to take in Joffrey and Tommen's severed heads, to see Cersei's weeping form chained to the Iron Throne. He didn't smile. That grim look persisted until he reached Naruto-what relation did the assassin have to the king?-and then, to his great surprise, the younger man seized him in a fierce embrace. Stannis stiffened momentarily, relaxing only once he realized he wasn't in danger. Robb watched this strange scene with no small amount of curiosity, anxiety lurking in the shadow of his thoughts.

"You've been busy." he said by way of greeting at last.

Naruto stepped aside, bowing deeply.

"Your throne awaits."

Stannis gazed past the boy, his dark eyes inscrutable, face carefully blank. Then, as if in a dream, he moved past him and began to climb the steps. All present, Stark, Baratheon and Tyrell, found themselves helpless to look away, stricken spellbound by the sight. Naruto preened quietly as he watched his sire make the climb-short though it was-with a strange, morbid fascination. He, and everyone present recognized the significance of this crucial, pivotal moment. They were witnessing the birth of a new king.

Perhaps even a new dynasty?

Robb found himself looking on with a strange, icy dread as Stannis reached the summit. He'd sworn fealty to this man. What would it cost him? The last time any Stark had come this far North in service to a Baratheon, his father had been killed, and his brother and father before him. Was he fated to suffer the same? All these thoughts and more swirled through the Young Wolf's head, roaring like a winter storm. And still Stannis held his ground, hovering over the Iron Throne-no, wait, he was turning...

Then slowly, regally, he lowered himself into it.

A moment of precious silence followed. Robb took it in, observing the reaction of those around him. Naruto was grinning wildly. Loras looked positively rigid. Roose's face was one of careful indifference, not quite that of diffidence, but something else. The way his gaze strayed to Naruto made him wonder if the Bolton truly did know the assassin after all.

Then Stannis Baratheon, First of his Name, exhaled wearily, capturing his attention once more.

"It is done."

Loras hissed in an angry breath at those words, at the sight of Renly's killer, sitting so smug and content upon the Iron Throne. The same throne that had cost Renly his life in the end. All because of this man. Stannis! _Damn him to the darkest hell!_ Made all the more heated by the thought of what was come tomorrow, he longed to act. Margaery would be made to marry the _son_ of this insufferable bastard, a son no one knew of, and the very notion enraged him all the more. His beloved sister, in the bed of a killer's son?

Not if he had any say in it!

He had to do something. He _would_ do something. This was it. His moment. He could end it all with a single stroke of the sword. A hand twitched toward that very blade...and froze. Somehow in that instant, that second, that sliver of time, Naruto's gaze met his. Something compelled the Tyrell to look, and what he saw there terrified him.

 _"Go ahead."_ he mouthed the words, smiling pleasantly. _"Give me an excuse."_

Those cold blue eyes were like shards of sapphire, stabbing at him, daring Loras to make the attempt. He smile was a slow one, the smile of a reaper. Was he quick enough? Better, than him? Could he succeed? Loras hesitated a moment longer, then thought better of it. If he struck here and now, he'd be cut down in an instant. No, his vengeance would keep for another day. It took all he had to straighten and maintain the mask of civility once more.

"How went the battle?" he ventured through gritted teeth.

"Our forces crushed the last of the defenders nearly an hour ago." Stannis answered, answering in his own gruff, insufferable way. "Tywin Lannister may yet attempt to retake the city, but with his precious "legacy" so endangered, he won't dare attack." He seemed to realize the effects his own words were having on his audience, for he permitted himself a rare smile. "Whatever he attempts, it won't be a direct assault."

"The day is ours, then?" Naruto grinned.

"It is, son."

With those three words, Loras felt his world shatter.

 _'Son?!'_

"Send some of your lot down into the city to stop the looting. Then find someplace to clean yourself yourself up." he spoke at great length. "I'll summon you when its time. And I expect you to be on your best behavior." Naruto stiffened in the corner of their eyes, the fire in his face growing dim indeed. It was a startling change from the raving madman he'd been mere moments before.

Then incredibly, he bowed.

"As you say."

Loras felt himself to be on the verge of stabbing Stannis once more, but restrained himself.

Naruto.

This heathen, this savage, this accomplished killer of men, was going to be his brother. By law. He could see the resemblance now; that face, those burning blue eyes. That fierce drive. A willingness to kill that the drop of a hat and oh gods his sister would be _sleeping with him..._

Seven hells...

...what had he gotten himself into?

* * *

 _(Some Days Later...)_

* * *

Tyrion hadn't expected to wake.

Indeed, he hadn't expected to wake up _at all._

He had been prepared for the cold embrace of death, braced himself for the sting of a blade or worse. Not some knock on the head! Mercy of any sort -especially this sort- was almost completely lost on him. Any enemy soldier would have cut off his head.

Yet here it was, still firmly on his shoulders.

So when a torch waved before his eyes, its muted flame slowly drawing the dwarf from the depths of his slumber, Tyruon was almost startled, really. So. Alive, then. Even then, he wasn't sanguine about his certainly wasn't expecting to wake to a _song_ of all things! For indeed, a man's voice crooned to him from beyond the torchlight, humming a tune he'd not heard before:

 _"Death, ah death, tis you I fear; won't you leave me be for another year..._

Bleary eyes narrowed, squinting against the light in the dark.

...stop." he croaked, averting his gaze. "Stop that, would you please? I have a _terrible_ headache...

"What?" an amused voice drawled. "Do my dulcet tones not soothe you?"

"Not at all, really."

 _"Ouch."_

Now Tyrion knew beyond a doubt, if not from the first moment he'd regained consciousness, who was holding that torch. This would end one of two ways. Dead, or trapped in this small room for the rest of his days. As such, he wasn't entirely surprised when the torchlight peeled away, revealing insufferable boy standing beyond, smiling softly. He was, however, startled to see the one beside him. For there, holding the very torch that blinded him so, was none other than...

 _"Bronn?"_ he exclaimed, gawking. "What are you doing here?" the man's silence was chilling, and so he asked instead, "What happened?"

The sell-sword held his tongue.

"Don't mind him." Naruto interjected proudly, pearly whites flashing in a disarming smile. "He's still feeling just a _tiny_ bit guilty about his part in all of this. _I'll_ tell you what happened. Your bastard nephew, the mighty Joffrey Lannister, suffered a stunning defeat and death at the hands of the true king. My father. Well, my hands, really." He waved a gloved digit in masked delight. "I had all the stabbing bits, remember? You've been out for most of it, since. I was afraid I'd hit you too hard, ya know? Its _sooo_ hard to hold back when I'm in the moment-

"No, I mean what is Bronn doing _here?"_ Tyrion interrupted with vitrio, jerking a manacled hand at Bronn. "And why isn't he in chains?"

"Why would he be in chains?" Naruto answered with a long, drawn out blink. "He works for me and my father, now."

...what?"

It was in that moment that Tyrion Lannister truly understood how thoroughly he'd been screwed.

Damn him.

Dam that clever boy-wait.

He'd said father. Twice now. Stannis? _Stannis!_ Seven hells. The boy was his son?! Well, that certainly made things worse, much more so! Was he a bastard, then? Stannis didn't have fiery hair, despite his chosen sigil...

"Yes, yes, its all very shocking, I know." Naruto laughed, seeing his stricken expression. "But you've been out for quite a while master dwarf, three days to be exact. You'll find we've been very busy since them. I hope you like your bed?"

"How?" the word tasted like ash on Tyrion's tongue. But he had to know.

"Hmm?" Naruto blinked at the unspoken question, nonplussed. "You didn't know." He wanted to know how they'd been undone. Of course he did. But would it be wise to tell him? It would only be salt in the wound...

Tyrion growled.

 _"How?"_

"With patience and great difficulty." His captor confessed with a grim look. "I was certain the Spider would suss me out within the first week. You know, he nearly did once or twice and I came close to having words with him. But your insipid sister isn't half as smart as she thinks she is-and my boys know how to keep a secret. Then there was the matter of my bloody temper; I nearly lopped off Joffrey's head before the appointed time. _Then_ I had to follow you, see what you planned. After that, well, it just came together."

"You're not going to tell me, are you." the dwarf deadpanned.

Blue eyes danced in the dark.

"You'd be _amazed_ by what people hear these days." he answered cryptically.

Tyrion fought the overpowering urge to spit at his so-called "host." He'd suspected something to be amiss of course-the blond's meteoric rise to power had been nothing short of astronomical. That was Cersei's fault, he supposed. His beloved sister-assuming she was still alive-wasn't nearly half as smart as she claimed to be. But the fault lay with him for not acting sooner, for foolishly believing that the boy and his band of men weren't a threat. Thinking they were mere sell-swords, grasping for coin and status in these dark times. But they'd been wrong. He'd been wrong. The boy had played them, played them all.

Now, here he was, chained to a wall.

And with that, he suddenly realized he had to take a piss.

"Do you mind?"

"Not at all." Naruto waved Bronn forward. "Take your time."

Tyrion stood and found both his limbs and bladder relieved in short order, but felt little relief for it. However fleeting such freedom might last, he knew it was meaningless within this cell. He'd been betrayed. No allies to speak of, and was wholly at the mercy of his captor. He'd been had, and quite spectacularly so. The knowledge that he'd failed to see it coming cut deeply. Somehow, Bronn's betrayal cut deeper still.

Not quite a friend, but not a common sell-sword either, his treachery hurt. _Damn but it hurt._

"I paid you a small fortune."

A look of something resembling pity flashed across the man's face.

"Aye, you paid well." the sell-sword shrugged amicably. "Stannis's boy paid better, an' I got to keep my head." A roguish grin followed, as he slid the torch into a holster on the wall, "You still have yours, too. Seemed a fair deal at the time." A pause followed, and at Naruto's shrug, he added another tidbit of information. "Your shit of a sister's in a cell somewhere down here, too, if it makes you feel any better."

Tyrion blinked.

"It does actually."

The thought of Cersei, raving and shrieking in one of the Black Cells was actually...rather entertaining! Certainly she deserved as much for being a wretched shew and all the lives she'd ruined. But it was the unspoken words that rankled him so.

"Jamie?"

"I cannot speak for him." Naruto answered gravely, his whiskered countenance adopting a stern, flinty expression. "The Starks have him as their prisoner. Although," to Tyrion's great surprise, that grim look softened into something resembling genuine empathy. "I believe a friend of yours would be heartened to know that you are well."

Just then, Tyrion had an ugly thought. Instinctively, he denied it.

"I haven't the foggiest-

A pained, tiny gasp almost went unheard in the dark beyond the door.

 _Almost._

But Tyrion heard it all the same, clear as day, and he felt positively wretched.

Something broke, deep inside of him.

"Please," he begged, "Don't hurt her."

"What do you take me for, a savage?" Naruto snarked, quietly amused in his mirth, "I don't make it a habit to harm _w-_ I mean," he hastened to amend at the angry glint in Tyrion's eye, "Those of the fairer sex." turned, unbarring the door. "I found her hiding with Sansa and after she tried to knife me she demanded -demanded indeed!- that she be taken to see you at once. So here she is." A gloved fist rapped swiftly and firmly against the door with great purpose once, twice, three times and the locked turned with a creak of rusted hinges.

"Open!" he commanded!

The resultant light nearly blinded the dwarf; he squinted, glimpsing a group of perhaps a dozen or more standing beyond the black iron and pale stone before a shadow crossed the torches. A slim figure slipped in from the doorway, huge, beautiful eyes watchful. Naruto and Bronn made way for her without a word, the latter ignoring the vicious glower the maiden shot his way. She'd lost none of her fire, and it showed in the way that she spun to face his captor with a hiss.

WHAP!

Naruto's head snapped aside as Shae's open palm struck the side of his face with all the force she could muster, visibly jerking his visage aside. Bronn laughed, incredulously. Tyrion didn't share the man's mirth. For a terrifying instant he thought his lover would perish then and there, gutted for her impudence and be left to bleed out in the black cells. Incredibly, she didn't. Because...nothing happened. Joffrey's killer mere shook his head, spat a bit of blood onto the stones, and sighed.

"Satisfied?"

"What have you done to him?!" Shae hissed.

"I haven't done anything since I knocked him on the head." the assassin replied flatly, idly massaging his sore cheek as the angry woman stormed past him. "No one's laid a hand on him since. Granted, though, I _did_ hit him pretty hard...

Whatever else he said seemed lost on Shae. She knelt before him, uncaring for the dirt and muck. Hands cupped his bruised face, drawing it to her own. Soft lips pressed against his forehead, then his lips, desperate to make certain he was truly there. An equally soft, sensual voice purred in his ear.

"My Lion." she cooed quietly, holding him close. "My poor, poor lion...

Tyrion felt his heart wrench and shivered to his very soul.

Alive.

She was alive.

Shae was alive...

"A thank you would be nice, ya know." Naruto quipped. "I didn't _have_ to do all this for you."

Tyrion stiffened.

Ah, and now they came to the heart of the matter!

The assassin had gone out of his way to not only spare him-but to allow him relative comfort at that. He had not been beaten or assaulted, and though the cell was indeed dank and dark, he had a cot of sorts to sleep in and a bucket by which to relieve himself. He'd even seen fit to deliver him his lover intact. Someone who would've made a fine bargaining chip in the hands of any other. He'd shown him untold kindness where none was necessary. But was it truly kindness, or was it something else? What did he want?

What did he have to gain for this facade?

"Why are you doing all this?"

"Look, I'm going to be blunt, here." Naruto began slowly, having little patience for lies and half-truths now that the deed was done, "My old man wanted ya dead on a matter of principle. I've convinced him otherwise." "It wasn't easy, mind you! If I didn't respect you so damned much, I'd have let the men take your head. But I didn't," he continued, smiling in that odd way of his, for two reasons. "First, you're damn clever. You might have caught me if you dug just a bit deeper. Secondly, you've a mind for these sort of things. You know how the game is played. So I offer you this choice. You can take your lover and board a ship to Braavos right now, or...

"Or?"

"Or you can leave this cell with her and begin your tenure as a _proper_ Hand of the King. In my Father's service." the prince added, sounding inordinately pleased with himself. "What say you? I, for one, cannot think of anyone better suited for the post. Accept it, and you'll leave this bloody cell right now and I'll return you to your quarters."

Tyrion nearly guffawed.

"You can't be serious."

"Can't I?" the fiery-haired youth tilted his head, looking like a curious fox, eyes gleaming in the torchlight. _"I_ can't be the Hand. I'm the Prince. Besides, it doesn't suit me. Davos was quite content to be Master of Ships at any rate once I suggested the matter to him. I'm inclined to let Varys remain in his post _despite_ his actions. As for Littlefinger...I don't trust him for such a position, not one bit. And Pycelle is dead. Yes, don't look so pleased. Eleanor butchered him herself. We'll need a new grand maester, now, I suppose...

"Good of your lass to do that." Bronn quipped. "Keep her close."

Naruto's smile collapsed like a rotten pigeon pie.

"She's not mine to keep, anymore." he said at last, snorting. "And she'd kick your teeth in if she hears you say that."

"Probably would." the sell-sword agreed. "Feisty ones are always the best."

Shae scoffed, drawing a melancholy look.

"I suppose."

Neither made no remark for the prince's sullen expression.

Didn't have to.

Tyrion knew the look of heartbreak all too well. No, perhaps not heartbreak, but disappointment instead. Narrowing his gaze, he tried to remember who that had been. Eleanor...Eleanor-aha! Yes, she must've been the woman he'd seen Naruto with in the Red Keep. Pity. She'd seemed a nice enough sort, if a tad rough and willful in her mannerism. Naruto was more than rough, more than willful. He'd seen him carve through men like butter during the Battle of Blackwater, and knew it to be true that he enjoyed the act.

Who knew how she'd reacted once she'd seen the truer side of him? Women often reacted poorly when they discovered something they didn't like. He supposed Naruto wouldn't take kindly to such advice however, and he did owe him an answer besides.

But what to say?

Shae looked at him, her expression inscrutable. In that moment, Braavos was sorely tempting indeed, but the prospect of doing what he loved, what he was good at...that? Even more so. Stannis was a harsh man, but he'd always been an honest one-which was more than he could say for _his_ lord father and his incessant schemes. Tywin would want his head for this regardless, in an event. Would he fare better across the Narrow Sea, or here in King's Landing?

At length, he sighed.

"If I do this thing for you, if I accept my old post," he began slowly, measuring the assassin's delighted expression with every word, "I said _if!"_ his sharp voice brought the boy up short when he tried to speak. "How do I know you won't have me killed as soon as I displease you?"

Naruto blinked. "I never kill my friends."

"And are we friends?" Tyrion probed, sitting up.

"I'd like to think I've been more of a friend to you than your twit of a sister." Naruto replied readily. "The terms of this arrangement are simple: Never betray me, and I'll never betray you."

"Fair enough." Tyrion shrugged. "I feel I should warn you; you're in the great Game now, you know."

"Aye, I am." Naruto laughed; it was a bitter, ugly thing and it instantly set Tyrion on edge. "And the great game is terrifying. But you needn't worry about me. Bronn?" azure orbs swept back to his guard. "Escort Lady Shae out for a moment, will you? And close the door."

The sell-sword did as he was bade, much to Shae's great annoyance.

"You know, I've always _liked_ games," the assassin confessed after a long moment, crossing to the far side of the room. "They're oh-so fascinating. Dangerous sometimes, too. So is magic."

Reaching across to the wall, he took a-hold of the nearby torch and snuffed it out with a bare hand. The dwarf started in surprise, trying-failing-to understand what he had seen. The boy had simply closed his palm over the flame, and it guttered out like so much ash. Plunged into darkness, into silence, he found himself trying to understand the boy's brief bit of theatrics. All that remained was the muted light from the door, but despite the faint illumination, the room grew darker still.

"But unlike magic, a game is only dangerous," Naruto purred in the black, his voice darkening. "Until someone smashes the board."

His eyes flashed in the black, and his shadow seemed to writhe, becoming something monstrous, reflecting its owners spirit. Then Naruto moved and the wall behind him _shattered. Could light be black?_ He wondered if that were true. In that instant, as fresh light and dust spilled into the room, Tyrion couldn't stop gawping. Staring. All that remained there before him in the black were those eyes. Strangely enough...they weren't blue anymore. They were _scarlet._

Red as an ocean of blood.

Those.

Eerie.

Red.

Eyes.

"What," Tyrion cleared his suddenly dry throat, looking up, up, and _up_ to meet those still-crimson eyes. "Was that?"

Naruto smiled ruefully.

 _"I'll never tell."_

* * *

 _(...)_

* * *

Tywin Lannister sat in cold, contemplative silence.

His desk stood before in shoddy disarray, papers and correspondence ripped to pieces in a fit of rage. The anger had left him hours ago, cooling into a frigid lake of ice deep in his heart.

The servants dared not disturb him; they knew all too well of his glacial rage, his apocalyptic fury. For fury he felt indeed-fury at having been bested. Outmaneuvered. By the time he'd realized the Tyrell's treachery, it was already too late. He'd seen the sack of King's Landing, seen the fury of the Wildfire firsthand as it was turned upon the very defenders themselves. Even then he'd still resolved to take back the city from Stannis at any cost, to attack, even if it meant death. It was only once he'd learned of his children's captured, when Stannis's soldiers started parading Joffrey and Tommen's heads about the battlements, that his will finally broke.

The arrow to the knee certainly hadn't helped matters any!

His forces routed, he'd retreated to the fortress of Casterly Rock to lick his wounds and recover. The Lannister ancestral home felt...hollow, somehow. Cold. Empty and cold as it had since Joanna's death. But no amount of injury, no matter how grave, could slake the hatred he felt for Stannis Baratheon. His brother Kevan was in charge for the time being, and he insisted that they wait until the men had recovered. Bah. The man had all the courage of a field mouse, sometimes.

And now his spies told him that Tyrion-TYRION!-would be named Hand of the King. Hand of the King, ally of the enemy, while his brother and sister languished in the Black Cells below. Just the thought of it was enough to make Stannis seethe. Stannis mocked him, even now!

Dark thoughts loomed over him, black and ugly.

If only there was a way to strike back at Stannis, to make _him_ experience the pain and humiliation he felt now! Him and that bastard boy of his...

He paused, considering them slowly.

An idea came to him, then.

An awful, terrible idea, wicked in its vindictiveness.

It would take time of time of course, a great deal of time. And coin. That as well.

A Lannister always paid his debts, and he owed Stannis Baratheon a great deal.

 _The Lion would have its day._

* * *

 _(...?)_

* * *

 _Naruto whistled softly as he stared at the tiny creature before him._

 _A dragon._

 _An actual, living dragon._

 _"Hsss!"_

 _He'd always wanted to see one; mere books didn't do them justice. They were fire given flesh, creatures of life and destruction. All the glory and wonder of the world paled in comparison to them. Yet here one was, here before him._

 _Distantly, it occurred to him that this might be another one of his dreams-turned-nightmare. They were seldom pleasant ones._

 _But if this was indeed a dream, he resolved himself to make the most of it._

 _The tiny black lizard crouched before him would become a mighty beast someday, but for the time being, it was just that; an infant. Years from now it would be much, MUCH larger, able to snap him in half with a single bite. Judging by the way it was snarling at at him the little bugger was fixing on taking a piece out of him right now! Marveling at the little dragonling, he dared to open its cage and touch its back._

 _His new friend didn't like that._

 _Not._

 _One._

 _Bit._

 _"Wow," he hummed, "You're a fierce little guy, aint'cha?"_

 _Drogon-how did he know his name?-hissed and nipped at his hand._

 _The whiskered warrior laughed._

 _"Hungry, too!"_

 _Then the little bastard opened his mouth and spat fire. Laughing, Naruto watched the tiny eddy of flame arc overhead..._

 _Until an icy hand exploded through his chest._

 _A voice like death hissed in his ear:_

 ** _"WINTER IS HERE."_**

 _"Son of a-!"_

Naruto jolted awake with a hue and cry, bathed in cold sweat. Just a dream, he told himself, fighting to still his racing heart. Just a dream. But his body believed something else and refused to calm itself despite his best efforts. Thrashing upright out of the nightmare _-or was it a vision?-_ fighting not to bolt out of the covers, he struggled to still his harsh breathing and eventually succeeded, of a sort. Slowly, sense reasserted itself and his dream-hazed vision cleared enough to remind him of where he was.

Enough to realize he wasn't alone.

With that, he became suddenly and _intensely_ aware of a warm, feminine form nestled against him, firm breasts pushing against his back. Damnit. He certainly didn't remember _that._ How much had he drunk last night? Wary, the son of the king rose and risked a glance at his bed companion. Reddish-blond curls interposed themselves over his vision and he felt his heart lurch traitorously. Eleanor? No, not Eleanor. His joy turned to so much ash in his mouth. The face and body were all wrong; she didn't have that crescent-shapred scar on her left breast, either-and was that a bag of gold on the table?

She had to be one of Littlefinger's whores, then.

Blue eyes narrowed to thin, angry slits.

"Out." the word was a growl.

The girl stirred blearily.

"What?"

"OUT!"

Naruto roared and hurled a sovereign in her direction, and she shot out of the bed like a loosed arrow. He had barely enough patience to let her recover her dress before he flung the door open and pushed her through it with a muffled oath. It didn't even occur to him to thank her for the time-he felt to wretched to waste time on such false pleasantries. Ulric shot him a bemused look from his post beside the door; thankfully he was wise enough to hold his tongue, lest he lose it.

Naruto glowered at him a moment longer, uncaring for his nakedness.

Bitter, he slammed the door shut and stormed back to the bed. A snarl escaped him as he flung himself back against the pillows.

Sex was sex, but somehow this...this felt meaningless and empty. That woman-he didn't even remember her name!-clearly held none of Eleanor's fire. The same fire that had so eluded him after the Battle of Blackwater and their arguement. Seven Hells, why was she angry with him?! So preoccupied was he by these thoughts that he almost failed to notice the insistent pounding on the door.

Indeed, he didn't notice it at all until they started knocking most insistently upon the entry to his chambers.

"What?" he croaked hoarsely, squinting against the faint light.

"A man and a young lady to see ya." the deep rumble of Ulric's voice answered. Good old Ulric, still keeping an eye on him after all this. "Should I turn 'em away?"

Young Lady? He didn't know very many of those, these days. The one he did wanted nothing to do with him, given the atrocities she thought he had ordered. And a man? He couldn't fathom who would want to see him so late in the afternoon. Gods, he hoped it wasn't Loras. Having seen the man's hatred for his father firsthand, he knew he'd have to do something about it. The only other one who might want to see him would likely be Robb, no doubt wanting to wring a promise of Sansa's release from him before today's ceremony, as Stannis had been far too busy to attend such matters himself.

 _Ugh._

Propping himself up on an elbow, the Prince scrubbed the sleep from his face, raked a hand through the messy mop of his hair and blinked the cobwebs out of his eyes.

"Let them in." he said.

He'd scarcely spoken the words before someone kicked the door in, slamming it against the wall with a loud bang.

Sure enough, Robb Stark was first through, his dark eyes bleak, visage stern and cold as winter itself. He wasn't prepared for the sight awaiting him within and thus, came up short. He made the mistake of pausing just long enough to note the blond's state of undress, and the sight took the wind right out of his sails. The Stark's mouth hung agape like a fish and his cheeks colored fiercely, whatever he'd been preparing to say dying on his lips. The urge to laugh was so overpowering that Naruto found himself forcibly biting his tongue.

"You'll excuse my lack of decor." he remarked dryly, slipping on a pair of breeches. "I wasn't expecting visitors."

Robb sputtered, speechless. Was this how everyone behaved in King's Landing?!

"If its your sister you want, I'll endeavor to return her to you this afternoon."

"Are you mad?!"

"Just a bit." Naruto tactfully ignored the young wolf's question as he slipped a white tunic over his head. A pair of soft footfalls reminded him that he had another party to attend to. The girl, however, was not whom he'd expected, no, not at all...

He'd expected Eleanor, all angry green eyes and bright red hair. Not a young brunette in a fine grey gown with caramel-colored eyes and _-waitaminute!_

"Shireen?!"

For it _was_ his sister indeed, looking most vexed with him.

The lass swept across the room in a blur, skirted around a befuddled Robb and all but pounced upon her brother. Naruto froze, control of his body momentarily stripped away from him. He stood there, rooted, unable to move as those small arms wrapped around his torso. Numbly, he reached down to pat her head. She squeezed him tighter, forcing a wry chuckle out of him.

"Hey...

"Why didn't you write?" were the first words out of her mouth. "I thought you were dead!"

Ah. There was the sister he knew. Bloody relentless!

"To be fair, I _was_ a bit busy at the time...

His eyes cut to Robb.

"Might I have a moment?"

For a long moment it seemed as though the Lord of Winterfell might protest; but in the end he relented and allowed himself to be shown out. Northern folk! You simply couldn't pacify them, sometimes! He supposed the fault wasn't Robb's alone; he obviously wanted to return to the North and ready his family for the oncoming Winter. Unbidden, Naruto shivered. Winter. What was it about that that made him shudder, so...?

As soon as they were alone, Shireen turned back to him, dark eyes intent.

 _"Are_ you alright?" she pressed, questioningly. "You look awful."

Naruto cringed and sat down upon his bed, suitably chastised.

"Bad dreams," he muttered, palming his face. "Never mind that! What are you doing here?"

"Father brought Mother and I to the capital." his little princess beamed, taking her place beside him. "He said Dragonstone wasn't safe for us anymore. Besdies," she added, "He wants to present me to the Court with you."

Naruto couldn't help but blanch.

A wise move, if an uncomfortable one.

Not only would Shireen be safer here in King's Landing, but she would be a known quantity to those around her, Greyscale or no. The Fussy noble types tended to like that sort of thing. Moreso, Tywin Lannister would be livid at his loss and looking for an excuse to lash out at anyone with Baratheon blood in their veins. And what better way to strike at Stannis-to strike at HIM-than by their family? He could care less about Selyse and her fanaticisim, but the idea of a spiteful Tywin kidnapping his little sister or worse was enough to make his blood run cold. But now she was royalty, which meant she might be married to some crazy ponce or the like.

Speaking of crazy...

"Any word on the Red Woman?"

Shireen's expression turned contemplative.

"I think Father dismissed her." she confessed after a moment of relative silence. "They argued after you left and I haven't seen her since. She wasn't with us on the road, either." Tactfully, she left out the possibility that Lady Melisandre might already be _here_ , secreted away somewhere so as not to offend the more religious sort of King's Landing.

Her brother's smile was almost too much to bear.

"Well, that's wonderful!"

"But why are you dressed like that?"

"Eh?"

"I told you, father wants to present us to court." she said it as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "He's busy, and I couldn't fine Mother to do it, so I came to get you!"

"Wait, is that today-

A servant bustled in before he could finish.

"They're waiting for you, my lord." They saw Shireen and hastened to add, "My lady."

Naruto groaned.

"Let's not keep the pricks waiting then, shall we?"

* * *

 _(...)_

* * *

The Red Keep stood in deathly silence.

It had changed much since he'd last laid eye on it; thought he great flaming braziers remained, Stannis had since stripped away all the Lannister banners and finery and replaced them with his own. The ugly red colors had been an eyesore to many but they were gone at last, allowing the afternoon light to filter into the room, but even then, the light was a faint crimson. Red. Uck.

He must rather preferred orange, at any rate.

Naruto liked to think that they weren't so much nervous as they were afraid, still squirming over the abrupt shift in power, uneasy as to their ultimate fate. Good. The Stag and his allies had cast down the Lion, wounded it beyond repair. Tywin might still hold Casterly Rock, but his forces had been broken, his strength crippled. With his precious 'legacy' held captive, he dared not attack them where they were strongest. Yet neither could he afford to remain idle. He could only stand in open rebellion so long before Stannis decided to destroy him.

He hoped it would be soon.

It had been some days since the Battle of Blackwater, some time since the dust had settled. Part of him longed to turn and run in the other direction, but he knew it was not to be. He'd lived in the shadows long enough, now and that chapter of his life would soon be over. Though his anonymity had afforded him much, it was time to step into the light. Or barring that, at least make the attempt.

But why, in the _Seven Hells,_ did he have to dress like this?!

The servants had pressed him into a fiery doublet and pants mirroring his father's colors. It was suffocating. He could hardly move in them, and these frivolous tapestries provided no protection whatsoever. He supposed they were _his_ colors, now.

Or soon would be at any rate.

Shireen willfully remained by his side in her dark dress, looking positively radiant. At least, Naruto thought so. He couldn't recall whether this might be her first time being brought to court. It was certainly the first time she'd been a Princess!

She caught his eye and smiled impishly.

 _"Behave."_

"You wound me, my lady." Naruto clutched at his heart, then laughed when she elbowed him. "Alright, alright! I'll be good!"

Her faux mischief mollified his temper somewhat, and he managed to still his tapping foot as they awaited the last of their guests. As it were they were nearly swallowed by the crowd; and all the while Naruto silently took a note of whomever cast a scornful glance at them or said a nasty word to his sweet sister, adding them to his list. It helped that none yet knew who they were, for once they did, those feelings would be hidden behind a mask of servitude and fealty.

Naruto was almost silently surprised to see so many of the lords and ladies of Kings Landing spilling into the red keep. Most were unscathed. It seemed his father had been serious when he'd sworn to slay anyone seen raping or pillaging. As ever, h twenty-nineteen in theory with the death of Gavin-filled his heart with no small measure of pride. Some of his little band would no doubt be named lords and ladies in their own right today. Naruto wasn't rightly sure how he felt about that.

Men like Ulric and Matthos might well deserve such a title and Eleanor certainly, but others...

"Is that her?"

Naruto blinked, drawn out of his reverie by the abrupt question.

"Who?"

Shireen turned her gaze and Naruto followed after a moment, his eyes falling upon a redhead.

"Is she the one you're going to marry?"

Margaery was a beautiful girl indeed, fairer than Eleanor by far. He supposed he should be grateful to be betrothed to one so fair. Sensing his gaze, the Lady turned her head and offered a smile. It even seemed sincere, almost. His own grin felt false on his face, as though it would shatter at any moment. Eleanor had left her mark on him during their brief time together, and it was difficult to shake. He might well come to love Margaery in time, but even so...

"I suppose." he grimaced at the reminder that his fate would soon belong to the whims of others. "She seems alright."

Shireen's eyes widened slightly at the sight of Loras beside her.

"Oh. He's pretty." she said.

Naruto nearly gagged. "Oh, my sweet summer child, _please_ don't go there...

 _'Please, by all the gods old and new, don't let Shireen be betrothed to that oaf!'_

And thus the prince and princess-to-be waited in patient silence and observed their Father. Watched and waited as honors and titles were doled out in equal measure, glory upon glories heaped upon the victors as those who allied with them.

There were many.

Ser Davos humbly accepted the title of Master of Ships with no protest on his part. He seemed glad for it. Shireen was certainly pleased to see the Onion Knight elevated to a higher station. Indeed, Naruto believed that he deserved every bit of it, and was pleased to find that Matthos had also been named a lord in his own right.

What followed next was a flurry of names and titles, and he struggled to keep track of them all.

Honestly, all this pomp and circumstance bordered on the ridiculous. It wasn't as though someone were about to ride a bloody horse into the keep!

An odd man named Qyburn-brought by Robb Stark to the capital from the ruins of Harenhal-had proved invaluable in treating the wounded of King's Landing and even the King himself. Thus, Stannis decreed him acting Maester until a suitable replacement could be found for Pycelle. That would no doubt fly in the face of the Citadel and their pondering old men.

Good.

A stir followed when Tyrion Lannister was called to step forward next. Freshly shaven and dressed in the colors of his family, he looked every bit the man he was, stature notwithstanding. There was some consternation at his presence here in the keep. That distant buzz turned to outright shock when he was named Hand of the King. Naruto nearly guffawed aloud, such was his glee. Forget the lords and ladies of the court, Tywin would be livid at such a prospect and think his son had played some part in the sack of King's Landing.

Robb Stark was declared the Warden of the North and all charge of treason against him were dropped. Sansa was presented to him in short order, and they shared a tearful reunion. Stannis vowed to commit a hundred of his men to track down Arya and return her to the North as soon as possible. A noble gesture, and one that surprised Naruto and had Shireen cheering.

In turn, Robb presented an exchange of his own.

Disheveled and beaten, Jamie Lannister was brought before the throne, clapped in irons. Miraculously, he still had both hands. But there was no life to be seen in those eyes, as many charges were laid before him, no smile on that once proud face. No words or pleas were offered by this shell of a man, nothing but silence. A traitorous flicker of pity sparked to life deep inside of Naruto and he stubbornly quashed it. He'd wrought his own fate-there was no room for regret here.

"He looks so sad." Shireen murmured. "Don't you thin-ah!"

Then her words turned to a gasp.

Naruto turned to see what had frightened his sibling so, and nearly gasped himself.

Led by no less than three armed Stark soldiers on either side, a great giant of a man was dragged into the keep. Drugged and wreathed in countless chains, his face hidden by a black bag, he looked like something out of a child's nightmare until a bold one reached up and yanked the hood away. Confusion gave way to shock, and shock was felled by an arrow of disbelief. In a rare departure from composure Stannis Baratheon rose up and stood, surveying this great goliath of a man.

"Another gift for your grace." Robb announced with a low bow, his countenance grim. "To do with as you please. Qyburn? Are you certain he's calm?"

The odd little man nodded sagely. "He's in quite the stupor."

Naruto whistled.

Even a street urchin knew who this man was. He was a terror. A nightmare. A beast in the form of a man. A creature who thrived on violence and delighted in despair and butchered babies in their cribs. The mere sight of him made him draw back and pull Shireen with him, holding her close.

This man was a monster.

Ser Gregor Clegane.

 _The Mountain._

He'd heard in passing that Tywin's knight had been routed by the Starks, but _captured?_ It must have taken many men indeed! He hadn't thought it was possible for a man to be that large. He even dwarfed Ulric! What a challenge it must have been to subdue him! If he remembered correctly, the Martells had great reason to loathe this man. They would be glad of this.

Very glad indeed he mused, watching the tottering behemoth as he was led away...

"I thank you for this gift, Lord Stark." Stannis nodded curtly. "We will never forget your service. Consider King's Landing a home to you for as long as you like." Robb took that as his cue to depart, sweeping past Naruto and all but dragging Sansa with him. Somehow the Lady Stark saw him in the crowd, recognized him amongst the throng of lords and ladies. Her eyes widened. Naruto offered her the slightest of smiles and expected to be done with it, but no Sansa broke away from her brother and darted towards him, much to his dismay.

He was wholly unprepared for the curtsy and shy smile.

"I am in your debt, my lord."

Robb stood there, aghast, but his shame paled when faced with Naruto's own embarassment.

"I, well, you're welcome." he wasn't accustomed to someone actually thanking him in person! His flush lasted until Robb finally recovered enough sense to reclaim his sister and usher her away. Naruto shook his head vigorously to clear it. Damnit, what _was_ it with him and redheads? Shireen was next, and there was much cooing and applause for the clever girl-especially once her Greyscale was revealed to be all but cured. Naruto still feared that someone would try to snatch her up and glowered fiercely at Ser Loras to that effect until his sister was once more by his side.

Thankfully-or not-it was then that his lord Father caught his eye and it was finally his turn.

"Lord Naruto. Step forward."

Lord? Since when had he been a lord?

Reluctantly, he did so.

"Your grace."

Stannis was silent for a long moment.

Then he stood.

"Come here, son."

"Good luck!" Shireen whispered to him.

Naruto felt the back of his neck burn a fierce red, but reluctantly did as he was bade, leaving his sister with Ser Davos. The crowd murmured wildly. Slowly, carefully, he climbed the steps and stood before Stannis. His father bade him turn to face the masses, and once more, he obeyed. It felt so strange to be standing above everyone, to look down upon those lords and ladies who had cowered in fear of him only days ago. Of course, not a soul knew that he and the assassin were one and the same. And what did it matter if they did?

In this moment, he felt invincible.

Untouchable.

Immortal.

After what felt like an eternity, the long-awaited words washed over him.

"I, Stannis of the House Baratheon," he began the lengthy list of titles solemnly and with great aplomb, "First of my name, rightful king of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm, do hereby present to you my son, Naruto _Baratheon_ , your true prince, _conqueror_ of this city, heir to all my lands and titles. Bend the knee to him, as you would me." Scarce had he finished, than all knelt before them, even the normally recalcitrant Loras.

Naruto felt his eyes widen.

"Lord Mace Tyrell." Stannis called upon the head of the Tyrell's next.

Naruto gulped.

 _'Here it comes..._

"Your house came to my aid in a time of great and terrible need," Stannis continued gravely, "Without you or Lord Stark, none of this would have been possible. I am forever in your debt. If you you would ask anything of me, ask it."

Ser Loras bristled viciously, but remained otherwise silent as his father began to speak in his own slow, pondering way. "I beg your pardon your grace. My dear, sweet daughter, Margaery...her husband was taken from us before...she remains innocent, free of the usurper's touch. I would ask you to find it in your noble heart to do us the great honor of joining our houses. Ahem-well, that is, I mean to say" he hastened to amend at the king's stony expression, blustering madly, "Surely you know I do not mean to take you from your wife!"

"Continue." the world was a growl.

"Would your _son_ then," Mace blustered madly, flailing like a drowning man, "Do my daughter the honor of taking her hand in most holy matrimony?"

Stannis paused, pretended to consider it all.

Naruto knew it was a forgone conclusion, yet even so, he felt his jaw clench all the same.

"Is this what you want, Lady Margaery?" Stannis inquired.

"With all my heart, your grace." she confessed earnestly. "I have come to love your son from afar." her gaze swept to the prince in question, emotion rich in her eyes, "Tales of his ferocity and tenacity have never been far from my ears. And those tales have taken root deep inside of me, as I have adored him."

Naruto nearly swore.

Oh, she was good.

She was very, _very_ good.

So good he nearly called her out on it.

But his Father was looking at him now, and he knew better than to protest.

He imagined Eleanor looking back at him from the crowd, and felt like a fraud. Nevertheless, he pressed on.

"Words do not describe your beauty, my lady. I too have heard tales of your beauty and grace, but now that you stand before me," the words tasted false in his mouth, but he did his duty and uttered them all the same. "There is no finer rose than you." He even thought that Margaery flushed slightly. "I would be honored to accept your hand in holy matrimony."

What followed was nothing short of utter applause.

Words of praise and congratulation were heaped upon him in equal measure as he stepped away from the throne, but Naruto heard none of them. The rest of the King's audience passed him by in a haze; Stannis vowing to root out the Ironborn's rebellion in the North, declaring Tywin Lannister an enemy of the crown, and other formalities. Shireen must've seen the distant look on his face, for she didn't press him. Wine. He needed wine to forget all of this, this awful day and all that happened. This wasn't at all what he'd planned. He'd gotten what he'd wanted!

So _why_ did he feel so miserable?

When the end finally came and they were given leave to depart, he nearly bolted.

Stannis caught his eye, no doubt wishing to speak with him further-but for once in his life, Naruto ignored his lord father. He had eyes only for the door, and safety it would provide. Shireen would be perfectly safe with Davos at her side, so he needn't worry about her for the time being. The whispers were starting again and he just wanted to get the hell _away_ from here before he made a fool of himself or worse-

Unfortunately, it was not to be.

"Your Grace?"

Naruto's right hand closed around one of the massive pillars with immense force and squeezed until cracks began to spread from his fingers. He wanted to rip the damn thing off and hurl it across the room. But he didn't dare, not in this setting, not with his temper so frayed. Absolutely not. Only when he was calm did he permit himself to turn and face the caller. In hindsight, he shouldn't have been surprised at all. Who else would seek to corner him before such a public venue?

Any other day, he would have been happy to converse with him. But not now. Anytime but now.

"Lord Varys." He forced a stiff nod a smile he didn't feel whatsoever. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" That was the problem with so many eyes watching. He couldn't simply ignore the man-push him aside and make his way to the door, lest he cause a stir and shame his honor before his Father. Damn. He was starting to miss being a bastard already. So, with a supreme effort, he gathered himself up and willed the whispers into silence as best he could.

"I hear tell," he began slowly, in a low voice that carried only to his ears, "That your lord Father no longer associates with Lady Melisadnre."

Naruto bristled indignantly at the subtle insult. He knew not what hate Varys held against magic-one of the few things he wasn't in the know-but even in this poor state of mind, he refused to let such a jab slide. He saw the challenge for it was and retaliated with one of his own. A war of words, eh? Two could play that game.

"I've heard the strangest rumors about you," he began pleasantly. "Some say you favor the Targaryen girl and wish for her return to the throne. Some might call that treason."

To his credit, Vary's only reaction was a mild thinning of the lips.

"So you do not deny your father's assocation with the Red priestess?"

 _"She can burn in all the hells for all I care."_

It was rare to see the Spider surprised; but that was indeed shock that flitted across his face.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I have no love for the Red Woman and her words." Naruto hissed softly. "I'd sooner see her head on a spike! Now, if there's nothing else?"

"I see."

"So you do." he replied stoically.

"Perhaps we might speak more of it on the morrow?" Varys inquired.

The strings of his patience rapidly beginning

"Yes, yes, fine. Tomorrow. Now if you don't mind?"

The Master of Whispers nodded once in farewell.

"Good day then, your grace."

Swearing softly, Naruto turned to depart-

"A moment, my lord?"

 _'Aaaaargh!'_

The quiet purr of a familiar woman's voice drew him up short once more.

He turned slowly, dreading who he might find there.

Eleanor.

Shit.

She hadn't forsaken her arms or armor, but the look in her eyes was wholly foreign to him. So was her expression. She'd cut her hair since they'd seen each other last, and though he thought the look suited her, she'd doubtlessly done it for her benefit, not his own. A scroll was pressed into his hand nearly before he realized it. He looked down, wondering at the small piece of parchment and what it contained. His hand fisted painfully around the dry vellum.

"What's this?"

She regarded him with a small, sad smile.

"It was fun while it lasted, my lord."

Without another word, she turned and walked away.

Naruto felt his heart clench anew.

"It really was, wasn't it?"

Whatever the letter contained, it couldn't make him feel worse than this.

* * *

 _(Some Hours Later...)_

* * *

He was wrong.

The letter was worse.

 _Naruto,_

 _I cannot be with a man who keeps secrets from me. And you have. You're probably scowling as you read this. Please don't. I don't hate you, and I hope you think the same of me. Nonetheless, I do feel the need to clear the air. Whether or not you gave the Gavin that order no longer matters. You ALLOWED it when you put that man within reach of her-even if you slew him for the crime. Doubtless you think me a hypocrite for saying such things. I hate Lannisters. I always have. That doesn't condone what I've seen._

 _I have seen another side of you, and to be honest...it frightens me. YOU frighten me. I watched you kill a man like it was nothing, heard you laugh at his screams. Perhaps that is your true face. Perhaps not. Regardless, I have spent many days in thought on this, and I see now that this is the only way._

 _Moreover, I am known to Lady Margaery and I doubt she would tolerate my continued presence, even as a consort. You are a prince now and I...I am merely a sell-sword. I know you will be furious with me; you have a right to be, after all I've done._

 _You will always have my sword, but I'm afraid that I cannot be what you want me to be. Not now. Perhaps someday, I can come to love you again. All of you._

 _I hope you understand._

 _Forever your loyal shield,_

 _~Eleanor._

Rage and disappointment coiled inside of Naruto like a serpent, hissing bitterly. _Love._ He hated that word. Hated it and all the feelings _-memoriespainhate-_ it invoked. Memories of her, and memories of others. What he'd felt for Eleanor hadn't been love, but he felt in time, it might have been. It could've been different. But of course it wasn't. It never was-

Sod it all.

"Copper for your thoughts?"

Naruto looked up from the infuriating letter on his desk. Scowling, he crumpled it up and tossed it into the flames of the hearth as his guest looked on. Together, they watched the parchment blacken and curl amidst the fire, folding in on itself until it, and the hated words within were little more than ashes warming the hearth. He did not speak until those awful ashes had finally smoldered away against the burning logs. Only then did he turn his gaze, momentarily annoyed to find the door to his study open.

Standing there, was perhaps the last person he wanted to see.

"I did not summon you, Lord Baelish."

"You did not, your grace," the Master of Coin confessed with a bow, "But I felt you required my counsel nonetheless."

"And what _do_ you counsel?"

Petyr noticed something most strange, then; when the prince's eyes finally flicked up to him, they were red as rubies.

Blood.

Red.

Slits.

"You play the Game well, my friend." he admitted, stepping further into the room, "But not well enough."

"I am not," The son of Stannis continued slowly, "nor have I ever been, your friend."

"Come now, you've gone from a nameless bastard to the most eligible man in King's Landing, all in less than a fortnight." Lord Baelish smiled softly. "Everyone wants to be your friend. Many who served you in the battle of Blackwater are now lords themselves. And those who displeased you...well we know their fate. Pray tell, what comes next?" In the ensuing silence, he dared to circle the desk, continuing. "I suppose you _could_ try and apologize to your little whore, get her recognized as a Redwyne in light of the Seven, though that wouldn't sit well with the Tyrells. Perhaps a better match would-

 _THUNK._

Littlefinger blinked, frowning as a dagger thudded into the stone floor near his boot.

"Was the necessary?"

"Do not," the blond warned, his voice sharper than valyrian steel, "Mistaken my silence for complacency. I've half a mind to cut out that tongue for what you've done."

"I'm afraid I don't-

This time the knife landed dangerously close something vital. Most vital indeed.

"You betrayed Ned Stark to his death." Another dagger was already in the assassin's hand, ready to fly at the slightest twitch of his wrist. "I have half a mind to repay the favor here and now. Perhaps I should, in light of your actions. Tell me what happened of your own volition," he threatened, "Or I'll have the truth of it with my blade, here and now."

For a moment, he thought Baelish would hide behind another half-truth.

Imagine his surprise, then, when the man spoke truly.

"Eddard Stark was a fool." he confessed at last, his dark eyes narrow. "An honest and idealistic one, but a fool nevertheless." the words grew hard and flinty on his tongue. "He never should have left the North, never made the truth of his plans known to Cersei, never should have shown his hand. He lost the moment those words left his lips. Perhaps, had he held his tongue, he might yet still be alive. What would you have had me do, die with him?"

"It would have been the honorable thing to do." Naruto answered.

"But we aren't men of honor now, are we?" Baelish challenged, stepping forward in the face of the blade. "We are cowards and schemers, the both of us, and we'll do whatever it takes to get what we want."

"And what do you want?"

"Why, everything, of course." came the winning answer.

"Everything? You overreach yourself." A small frown drew down the corners of Naruto's mouth. "I could call for your head, right here, right now, and no one would bat an eye."

"But you won't."

"And why not?"

"Because you need me."

Naruto couldn't help himself; laughter bubbled out of him in a sharp, explosive rush. Petyr stared back at him, incredulous, wondering if the boy had gone mad. Naruto supposed he had. But it was either laugh at it all, or tear the entire room apart and he didn't want to be known for such tantrums. Besides, it was funny! After all this, the man actually wanted his confidence...ha!

"What I need, Lord Baelish," he finished with a bitter chuckle, "Are those I can trust. Given your record, you're not on that list."

"You don't trust me?"

"Better safe than sorry." came the flat reply. "What we don't know is usually what gets us killed."

"A fine saying." Littlefinger quipped.

"And I _still_ don't trust you."

"A better one." Baelish conceded. "But surely there is something I could do to win your favor?"

Naruto scoffed.

Exasperated, he stood from his desk and glared at the man.

"You want my trust?" he retorted mockingly, the words dripping with sarcasm. "Bring me a bloody dragon. In fact, bring me all the gold in Braavos! The knife slammed down on the desk, splitting wood." Perhaps then I might have more faith in your abilities."

Littlefinger arched an eyebrow.

"As you wish."

Naruto watched him go, and turned his gaze back to the burning hearth.

 _Those very words would come back to haunt him._

 **A/N: And there you have it! VICTORY for Stannis! What consequences will this have down the line? What repercussions? Expect to see Oberyn next chapter! I think its rather obvious why...**

 **Stay tuned to find out!**

 **...The events of GOT ought to be quite different with Stannis on the Iron Throne...will Naruto make it out of this one alive? But the questions don't end here! Now remember that Naruto at the moment, has little to nearly no power in this fic beyond his superior strength, stealth skills, and of course, his wit. He's still himself, just...hardened. And, in the end there will only be one king upon the Iron Throne, and all bloody hell is about to break loose!**

 **So...in the immortal words of Atlas...**

 **...Would You Kindly Review the story of this humble man? And enjoy the preview(S)! VOTE FOR THE ONES YOU WANT! OR ALL THREE~!**

 **(Preview)**

 _Naruto woke suddenly in the night._

 _"What are you doing here?"_

 _Margaery was silent for a long moment._

 _Then she let go of the dress._

 _Naruto swore softly._

 _"By the gods..._

* * *

 _Daenerys Stormborn certainly lived up to her namesake._

 _She arrived during one of the worst storms Kings Landing had ever seen, in a ship that seemed ready to capsize at any moment. Not a prisoner, but not a conqueror either. She radiated defiance and beauty with every step, bright eyes dancing like the storm in which they found themselves. A great bear of a man stood with her. Jorah Mormont, no doubt. And there, a ways behind them, in cages, squeaking their protest..._

 _Ah._

 _Littlefinger smiled thinly._

 _"Do you believe me now, my lord? You asked for a dragon. I brought you them and their mother."_

 _"I was being sarcastic!" Naruto growled quietly. "I thought you knew the difference."_

 _"We'll see."_

 _"Thank you for accepting our invitation, my lady." Baelish bowed low as they pair drew near. "You honor us with your presence."_

 _The last Targaryen scowled._

 _"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you now."_

 _Naruto beamed._

 _"Oh, I like you!"_

* * *

 _Brienne of Tarth glowered bloody red daggers at him._

 _"Your father killed Renly." she seethed. "The rightful king."_

 _"He wasn't the rightful king." Naruto scoffed. "Of course he did."_

 _"You don't defend him?_

 _"Look, lady," Naruto scratched at the back of his head with his off hand, never lowering the knife for a moment, "I don't. Does that make you happy? I won't pretend to understand his motives or his reasoning. But he's my dad, ya know? I can't just turn my back on him. So if you aim to kill him, you'll have to go through me. Would you really create chaos in Westeros just so you can avenge you blasted honor? Is it really worth all of that strife just so you caaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND HERE W_ _E GO!"_

 _That was all he had time for before she swung!_

 **R &R! =D**


	4. What Doesn't Kill You

**A/N: So, yeah. Not dead!**

 **HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY CRAP! JUST SAW THE NEW GAME OF THRONES EPISODE! And all I have to say is this. HOLD THE DOOR! Still sobbing about it something fierce. WATCH IT! NOW! I'm sooooo fired up for this and my muse has just LEAPED into overdrive with words to spare! This is a MASSIVE CHAPTER, and one that took me a good long while to write.**

 **But then again, I'm sure you could tell that by the word count. FIFTEEN! THOUSAND! WORDS! A lot happens in this chapter!**

 **Now, before the third chapter** **, let's clarify things:**

 **FIRST!**

 **Jamie Lannister, Cersei Lannister, and Gregor Clegane are now captives of STANNIS. Between this chapter and the last, the Martell's have been informed of the former. Of COURSE they're going to be interested in this and send someone to check up on it.**

 **SECOND!**

 **Eleanor is NOT going to just up and vanish. Her story is not yet done and it remains to be seen where her path takes her...and Naruto. Speaking of Naruto, he HATES Mesliandre and is unnerved by her very easily. Its not for her powers, but for the fact that she's corrupting his father, one of the few constants in already muddled life and he can't STAND that.**

 **THIRD!**

 **Naruto does NOT see himself as the royalty sort. If anything, he's having trouble reconciling his old life to his new one. He has trouble controlling his tongue despite his wits, because now, as one review pointed out, he's a political target and needs to be wary. He's also aching for companionship, and after what happened in the last chapter, can you blame him?**

 **FOURTH!**

 **Littlefinger, as ever, has his own agenda.**

 **FIFTH!**

 **This Naruto is not as powerless as he seems. This chapter should cast some light on that. There we go!**

 **I had sooooooooooo much fun writing this chapter. I think I captured the essence of Game of Thrones quite well, here...**

 **And Yup, Ramsay Snow pops up this one, FYI. He's just someone you just love to hate, 'innit he? Also, trying a new format here in terms of the occasional "Letter" as it were. Hope ya like it! One last warning, here there be language, violence, and all other manner of monsters. Another thing, there's an NSFW passage near the end of this chapter, so you've been warned!**

 **VALAR MORGULIS!**

 _"Ah, there you are! Come, have a drink with us!"_

 _"I don't think that's a good idea."_

 _"And why not?"_

 _"Drinking makes me angry..._

 _"And?"_

 _...you wouldn't like me when I'm angry."_

 _~Naruto and Tyrion._

 **That Which Doesn't Kill You...**

 _Tryrion,_

 _I'm borrowing Bronn and heading off to Pyke. I think we both know why. Tell the old man and I'll chop your nose off. Also, give me back my wine! That shit was a good vintage!_

 _Wishing you luck with your bratty siblings,_

 _~Naruto_

* * *

How long had she been down here?

Hours?

Days?

Weeks?

Time got rather...odd in a cell, more so when you were denied food and water on a daily basis. They'd stopped feeding her after she refused her meals. Her water had been forsaken entirely when she spat in the face of the last guard daring enough to serve her. And so she spent her days, wasting away, feeling her life slip further and further out of her grasp. What was the point? What had she left to live for? Joffrey and Tommen were dead. Her boys, her boys, her sweet, sweet, _sweet baby boys_ , struck down by those men by Naruto, by that smug little BASTARD-

She'd kill him slowly, she decided. Them. All of them.

Alas, even the deepest hatred can long sustain someone without at least some sustenance. Her anger gutted-so much like her failing body-Cersei Lannister felt herself fade back against the wall, a sob stifled on her lips. No, she couldn't live for her boys. Two of her precious children were gone and nothing could ever bring them back, though the thought brought bitter tears to her eyes. She must find something-someone-else to live for or resolve to wither away to nothing from within and without.

Who, then?

 _Jaime?_

He was likely dead or imprisoned, same as her. She didn't imagine he'd last long. Myrcella, trapped in Dorne with the Martells? They'd tear her apart once the news reached them. And Father? The last man to bring her bread had laughed at her in scorn when she'd dared to threaten him. "That lion's lost his claws." he'd spat, before pissing on her. What had he meant by that? Dark thoughts consumed her as she languished in her cell-forgotten by King's Landing, perhaps the world itself.

She was barely conscious when the door finally opened an eternity later.

Slowly-ponderously-the thick frame creaked open, revealing the light beyond. Cersei cringed away from it with a tiny, pained cry, wincing until her eyes adjusted. What she saw there stole her breath dead away. Not for lack of trying, mind you. Not only was the exit left unguarded, he was there. Him.

 _HIM!_

Had she the strength, she would've flung herself at him and wrung his scrawny neck. As it were, she could only glare.

It was _Tyrion_ of course; that filthy beast who-in her sleep deprived mind-had tricked her out of a kingdom, the monster who'd slaughtered her sons! The one who'd turned his coat and let Stannis Baratheon into the city! Nothing could be further from the truth of course but Cersei had always hated her little brother, and trapped in the pit of her own self-loathing as she was, she found cause to despise him even more. The fading embers of her temper sparked back to life all at once at the sight of him, in his dark silks and immaculate boots, living _life_ while she rotted away in this dungeon.

And he had the nerve to bring her _food!_

For an agonizing sliver of time, brother and sister stared at one another, agape. Tyrion, startled to find his sister in such a state, found himself at a loss for words. T'was a far more powerful emotion that stilled Cersei's tongue; oh she found herself, quite literally, choking on her rage. Words alone didn't suffice. Her entire body shivered with the desire to end his live-had she strength to do so. Fortunately she did not-or she would have made the most foolish mistake of lunging at him and losing her life. It was only the sight of the short sword in his belt that stayed her hand.

"You look hungry." he said awkwardly, by way of greeting.

The words hit her stomach like a clenched fist, eliciting a faint growl from her belly. She imagine she must look quite the sight, but she refused to let it show.

"I'd sooner die than eat your poisoned meal!"

"Are you certain?" Her bother offered her tray with a wan smile, then deposited it at her feet when she made no move towards him. "I know they haven't been feeding you."

Brought on a gleaming tray, the foodstuff's appealed to her greatly; a warm loaf of bread, hot stew, a chilled bottle of wine...damnit. Damn him. Damn him to all seven of the hells. Against her firmest wishes, Cersei felt her mouth watering at former, heart stirring towards the latter. It had been so long since she'd last had _wine..._

In the end, hunger betrayed her and she snatched the food and drink up with grubby hands. Pride abandoned her and Cersei gorged herself, uncaring for the mess she made as she tore at the bread and ripped into the stew. It was bliss. There could be no other word for it. To finally eat again, after going so long without was a blessing. And the wine! Seven hells, the _wine_ was glorious!

"Are you comfortable, sister?" he asked, once she'd finished eating.

Cersei spat in his face, enraged beyond measure. The little cretin, trying to assuage his guilt by bribing her with food! How dare he!

Tyrion, to his credit, didn't flinch, pausing only to wipe the spittle from his cheek.

"I deserved that." he admitted.

"You deserve to die!" She flung the bottle of wine at him-only after draining it of course-forcing the imp to duck, lest he be struck. It shattered against the wall with a feeble crash. _"You!"_ a finger thrust itself forward at him, angry and pointing. "You filthy little beast! This is all your fault! You betrayed your own family! You threw us to the dogs and left us to rot!"

"I did no such thing." Tyrion said stiffly, looking at her as though he thought she were well and truly mad, "Nevertheless, I have been named Hand of the King by the _prince_ of said dogs. And I intend to do my duty."

"Then he'll be the first one to die!" she raved.

The dwarf arched an eyebrow. "I hardly think _anyone_ is capable of killing that one. Least of all you."

"What?" Taken aback, Cersei leered at him. "Why? What do you know?"

 _'I know better than to piss on a madman's patience!'_

Tyrion shuddered involuntarily. Retaliation, for one. Naruto didn't seem the sort to suffer fools, much less Cersei. She wasn't half as clever as she thought herself to be. An assassin had made just such an attempt last evening, only to find his head mounted on a spike, his poisoned blades ineffective. No doubt a plot by their father, one of many. Were another such attempt to be made and he were suspected of it, well...he suspected the crown prince would have much more than mere words for him.

The last thing he wanted was to be exposed any sort of political blow-back.

He knew precious little about the new Prince, but what he did know alarmed him. The lad was a credit to his blood and sire both; cunning, dangerous, persuasive to a fault, and devastatingly vicious when he wanted to be. Tyrion couldn't put it into words, but there was something...wrong about that one. As if he always knew more than he'd let on. More than that. He moved like a wild wraith, could walk up walls, tear through enemy squads as if they were mere boys, and he seemed possessed of a strange magic the dwarf honestly didn't understand. Secretly, he suspected the boy wasn't quite _sane._

Mistaking his silence for an answer, his sister continued her rant.

"Father will do it, you'll see. And you." Cersei sneered, enjoy the brief look of pain as it flashed across her sibling's face. "Then I'll find that little whore you've been hiding and-

 _"Enough."_

Funny, how someone could terrifying you so much, just by speaking a word. Or by swinging their fist. Tyrion punched surprisingly hard for someone of his stature. Cersei took the blow full on the face and earned herself a bloodied, broken nose for her trouble, her head knocking against the wall. For a fleeting heartbeat, an awkward silence pervaded the black cells, broken only by the distant sound of her own harsh breathing. Then she clawed at him with her nails, shrieking; infuriated by her brother's audacity, by the look in his eyes, by everyone and everything.

"I hate you!" she shrilled! "I wish you were dead!"

She was used to being in control, to having control. Power, to lording her prestige and beauty over everyone and everything. Now she had none of those things, and the thought of it drove her mad. The food and wine only served as a bitter reminder of the life she'd lost. A life she would never live again. No. Not like this. Not like this! It was all wrong! They should have won! Stannis should have been dashed at the Blackwater and set to ruin! That usurper! But no, in her mind, she refused to accept that she was as much to blame for the sacking of the city as anyone else. Tyrion. It was all his fault!

She lunged at him anew, only to find herself blocked by a wall of armored muscle.

Guards swarmed into the empty room like a pack of angry locusts. One of them, the big brute who'd stood got between and Tyrion stepped forward, holding her down.

"Are you alright, m'lord Hand?"

"Quite." Tyrion surveyed the bloodied scratches on his sleeve with mild annoyance. "My thanks, Ulric."

The giant chuckled.

All the while, Tyrion maintained his eerie calm.

"No one is coming for you, you silly girl." the words emerged as a soft, silken purr, vibrating with a menace never before witnessed in her sibling. "Pycelle is dead. Your brother _-our brother!-_ is in custody and will likely be forced to take the Black to avoid the executioner's axe. " gasping, she struggled to turn away from his wrath, but the pressing vice on her face forced her back to him. "As for dear Father...well, that's one threat that will be handed in short order. And you," he took a step back, his face stoic, "You no longer have the strength nor the status to torment me." his expression hardened into stone. "And since you no longer wish to see me, well, I suppose you'll stay here until the King calls for you."

He lingered and patted her cheek, expression stoic.

"Goodbye, dear sister." he paused. "I'll see you again tomorrow."

Cersei froze.

Tomorrow?

Was this torment going to _continue?_

With that, Ulric cast her down onto the ground. Her head struck a stone and she flinched, momentarily stunned. By the time Cersei came to her senses, the door was already creaking shut. Tyrion didn't even look back; he was the first one out of the cell, shadow and all. The giant guarding him shot her one last rueful look, his expression dour. Then he swung the postern shut in her face, and with it, her portal to freedom.

Something snapped.

What little strength she possessed had her surging to her feet, but it was already too late. Her hands wrapped around bars beyond and she shouted out against them:

"I'LL KILL YOU!" she shrieked! "ONCE I GET OUT OF HERE-

No one answered.

* * *

 _Dearest Father,_

 _I can only assumed that the red bitch is somehow still with you, after all. How else would this runner have known where to find me? I'm sending him back with this message and a thrashing besides. You of all people should know what she's capable of!_

 _Also!_

 _A sword. You found me a valyrian steel sword?! I won't ask how you found it, but I'm KEEPING it. It almost makes up for all those years of bad parenting. I've elected to name it Kushina, after my mother. It fits, I think. She'll make a nice set with my twin daggers._ _Sadly, your blatant bribery won't bring me back to King's Landing just yet._

 _Not until I've finished my business._

 _Still not telling you where I am. Deniability and all that._

 _AND GET RID OF THAT WITCH!_

 _~Naruto._

* * *

 _(...)_

* * *

At long last, the storm had finally made its way to the Iron Islands.

Wind lashed against the great towers of Pyke with enough force to rend the stone itself. Rain swept across in shrieking sheets while the sea itself threatened to rise up and swallow the cliffs whole. Lightning howled like vengeful spirits through the clouds, ready to tear the very sky itself asunder. Those who did not seek shelter within Pyke's many towers found themselves ripped from rope bridges and cast into the waters below. It was a storm even the most hardened of Ironborn would balk at, a squall of epic, legendary proportions.

Balon Greyjoy was in right in the midst of it all.

Now, perhaps, more than ever, he felt the years weighing him down. Like chains on his legs, an anchor doggedly dragging him down into the sea. For his anger mirrored the forces raging at his doorstep, wild and fierce as the very storm itself. Curse them. Curse Stannis Baratheon and all who allied with him! Curse him and this so-called war-the war had ended nearly before it had even begun! It should have raged for weeks, months, years, even! Years in which his Ironborn would reave and rape and ravage the land as they saw fit!

In another world, another time, they might have been able to do just that.

Instead the Lannisters had been systematically slaughtered by the unlikely alliance of Baratheon, Stark, and Tyrell. The defenders butchered by an army numbering in the hundreds of thousands, the king killed, Cersei and Jaime Lannister thrown into the dungeons and supposedly left to rot. Like any pirate to plunder, they'd swooped in to pick over the wreckage like vultures. It hadn't contented them for long. Now that they'd picked clean the corpse of King's Landing, they inevitably turned their gaze elsewhere. To their enemies. To those who'd the gall to stand against them.

To Tywin Lannister.

To Walder Frey.

To _him._

Who knew what that order might be?

Balon knew they were coming for him but somehow, he simply couldn't bring himself to feel anything but bitter anger. Aging fingers curled around the tattered parchment in his grasp, fighting the urge to ball it up, hurl it into the fire, and race away to the North. But to do that was to invite disaster and death, and that was something he dare not do. His men respected him-for now-but they feared the wrath of the North and the _Shadow of the King._ The term was a new one, coined by the new crown prince himself, and it had stuck once the world learned of his part in the Battle of the Blackwater. The thought worried at him like a dog at a bone, gnawing at his resolve.

What could he do to stop such a force?

The boy was a shadow, a wraith, a beast wearing human skin! Worse, he was utterly unrpedictable. By the Drowned God, he'd taken to cutting off his men's heads and depositing them at his doorstep! What kind of man did that?! No one could prove that he existed-that the prince and the shadow were one and the same-but Balon, Balon knew. In the deepest, blackest pit of his heart, he knew. It didn't matter what his sources said, that the boy was still at court, that this was something-someone?!-else wreaking havoc, despite every instinct.

This was all his fault. Not his. _HIS!_

It was all coming apart. Everything was coming apart. He could feel the Salt Throne slipping away from him with each passing day, every moment that this menace plagued him, and would continue to plague him until he finally capitulated.

The letter, terse as it was, foretold as much. He'd certainly read it enough times to know:

 _Balon Greyjoy,_

 _I will be brief._

 _I write this letter to inform you that I have retaken Winterfell, and your thieving, traitorous son with it. That's right. Theon is now in my custody. If you wish his safe return, you will order your Ironborn filth out of the North by the next moon. If not, I will wipe them out. Then I will march on the Iron Islands and slaughter you and your kin. To. A. Man. I tell you this as a warning-obey, and you might yet be shown no mercy. Disobey and you'll wish you'd thrown yourself into the sea when you had the chance. Nor am I the only one who has a vested interest in seeing you flung back into the sea. Y_ _ou know of whom I speak._

 _The North Remembers._

 _~Robb Stark, the Lord of Winterfell and King in the North._

This letter had been in possession for nearly seventeen days, now.

His reply had been bitter and cold; for there had been none.

But no response came.

Nothing.

 _None._

"Bah!"

Anger got the better of him and he flung the message into the flames of the hearth with a snarl, watched it blacken and curl against the heat. What did it matter that days and weeks had passed, and still no reply? He did not fear it nor the man who wrote it! Robb Stark and Stannis Baratheon be damned! The King's Shadow stretched far indeed, if he thought he could strike at him here!

Impudent pups, the lot of them! What did _they_ know of war and death?! Nothing! None of them!

One did not simply _prepare_ for it!

You had to respect it, enjoy it nay, embrace it!

Balon Greyjoy knew what they wanted, and he was determined to deny them the satisfaction they so secretly sought. They wanted Pyke, _they_ wanted the iron islands!

He'd known for some time now, seen it in his own reflection ever since he'd learned of Stannis Baratheon's great triumph. Allied with the Starks and the Tyrells, he had cast down the Lannisters and claimed the Iron Throne for himself. That the balance of power had been changed was troubling enough-that he'd done it all in less than a fortnight was absolutely alarming. The man had made a fool of him once before during Robert's reign; he'd been in open rebellion then, too.

Balon slammed himself down into his chair and resolved to live, to fight, if only to spite the country clamoring for his head.

As things stood, he doubted his enemies were so inclined to let him live now.

Regardless, it no longer mattered in any case, as the deed was done.

He would not go quietly into that seething, stormy sea!

He would fight and rage and...and...and...

Not a once did he see the shadow.

How could he, irked as he was?

He certainly didn't see the shadow detach itself from the ceiling; didn't see it crawl across the wall like a human spider; hand over hand, knees aflush against the crumbling stones. Wrapped in his rage, trapped in the foul mire of his wrath as he were, he never noticed the intruder drop soundlessly to the floor, the sound muffled by a peal of convenient thunder. He _certainly_ didn't see the blue eyes gleaming behind the mask, never saw the gleaming knives drawn from oiled sheathes, never sensed the vicious intent of their wielder as he crept steadily closer.

But he _did_ hear the words.

"Evening, my lord."

 _"Salt and spite!"_

The elder Greyjoy leaped from his chair with such force that he nearly tripped over his own two feet and stumbled into the fire. He'd soon wish he had. It would've been preferable to what came next. He barely had the time to turn, to see the blazing blue eyes of his would-be killer, before they buried a dagger hilt in his stomach, driving the breath from his lungs. The opposite end of the blade would've done the job thrice as well; that his attacker had all but refrained from stabbing him outright, well...the notion actually _frightened_ Balon.

It meant they wanted him alive, and he had learned from hard-won experience that death was preferable to capture. All the more so if this man was who he thought he was. No, if this was indeed the King's Shadow as he feared, he would rather go to a watery grave fighting...!

"You impudent-

Flailing, he grasped at the knife in his belt, found only an empty sheathe in its place. Against his better judgement he looked up and found a smile there. Smug. Knowing. No. How had he-when had he...?! In that brief, momentary lapse of attention, it was over. A cauldron of scalding, hot water splashed down onto his unprotected face-stealing sense with such force that he shrieked loudly, leaving him howling and clawing at his face, struggling to make sense of it all, struggling to defend himself, struggling to see, _struggling_ to fight to his last breath-

Less so when the pot itself smote him upside the head.

Whomever hit him knew what they were doing, for he felt something crack against the blow as he was driven into the floor. His skull undoubtedly. He struggled upright and a boot crashed down into his back with jarring force, giving his whole body an awful wrench and sudden loss of sensation. Balon's next conscious thought -or the nearest emotions resembling such- was of sprawling on the floor, sputtering and coughing, trying not to scream. An angry trail of red streaked itself across the corner of his vision, and to his faint dismay, he found he could no longer find the strength to move his legs. His arms, perhaps, but his legs, his legs, _his legs..._

Damnitall!

In the end, he was forced to lay there, seething, sweating as a pair of dark boots slowly entered the corner of his vision. He must've been hit harder than he'd thought, for he thought he _recognized_ the owner of those boots...no...wait. He _did._ At length, his attacker bent both legs and crouched beside him. Then and only then did he remove the mask swathing his face. Dread swallowed Balon like an ocean wave and dragged him to its watery bosom in a brief, terrfied instant of clarity.

He knew him well enough to fear him.

 _Naruto Baratheon_ gazed down at him, smiling softly, blue eyes narrow to thin, ruby slits. No, wait. Now they were red. How could that be? A man's eyes didn't change color like that! The longer he looked into those cold red orbs, the more he was certain of it.

This, whomever it was, wasn't human.

"I didn't hit you too hard, did I?" the prince asked, his head bobbing with limpid sincerity. "No, no, no! Don't get up on my account!" A pause. "I'm sorry. That was in bad taste." He shot a glance to the man's legs with a rueful grimace. "I'm absolutely terrible when it comes to holding back."

Balon opened his mouth to speak, found that his voice betrayed him. His confusion must have shown however, for his crippler rose back to his feet and paced away to the fireplace. Had he control of his legs, it would've been the perfect opportunity to strike. His back to him, any able man would've taken the opportunity to plant a knife between his shoulders. As it was the Lord of Pyke could only lay there, snarling.

"Wondering how I got here?" the boy posited, staring into the flames. "Don't worry, I'll tell ya. It's a rather interesting story, really. A real...spine-tingler. See, my father wants you dead, but he didn't have time to send anyone, what with the south still in disaray. So here I am, of my own accord. One last hurrah, a final drink, before the ditch. Purging, if you will." his slim shoulders rolled in a half-hearted shrug. "In short, this little visit is as much for my sake as his; I'm getting all these murdery impulses out of my system now while I can, because _maker_ knows when I'll be able to let loose like this again. Hmm. Murdery." His head tilted, curiously. "Is that even a word?"

Balon gathered himself up, tried to shout. All that emerged was a dry croak.

"Guards! To me, you idiots-

In a flash a hand was over his mouth, strangling him.

"Don't, or they'll be dead and swimming with the fishes." The Prince/Shadow hissed into his ear, iron fingers wrapped around his throat, worrying at his jugular like a hungry wolf. "Just like most those loyal to you. No," he amended after a moments thought, "Wait. I tell a lie. I didn't kill _all_ of them That would be stupid, ya know? No, I slaughtered just enough to make them...pliable. Shame about your girl, though. I couldn't find her anywhere. I didn't think you had it in you to spirit her away. Which begs the question-was it fear, or pride?"

The Ironborn seized upon the words like a drowning man clutching at flotsam.

 _Yara._

He didn't know about Yara, nor where she was.

Thank the drowned god he'd sent her off!

"You know, I'm grateful."

"Grateful?!" Balon groaned out, baffled when the blond released him once more. By the sea, he was taking _forever_ to kill him! How long must his torment last?!

"Aye," The boy nodded, his head bobbing happily. "You gave me an excuse to do this. The old man doesn't even know I'm here, though I'm sure he will once Varys's little birds tell him. But enough about my father," he twisted the knife, eliciting a pained grunt of his captive, "I'd much rather talk about you. Did you really think you would get away with it? Pissing off the North and half of the kingdom? I mean, yeah, it was ballsy of you to try, but _boy_ did you make a mistake!"

Something broke, deep inside of Balon and he lashed out.

By now the prince was close enough for the Ironborn to claw at him with his hands. To his disbelief, the blond let him do so, uncaring for the red streaks carved into his face. As he looked on gashes stitched themselves shut within seconds, leaving his bemused captor staring back at him, smug as you please. The retaliatory blow shattered his nose and drove him back to the floor. Aghast, he cried:

"Demon!"

The boy scoffed at him, all traces of humor and pleasantness gone.

"You may be right," he answered with a dry laugh, "Some say my mother was a witch from across the Narrow sea; others think I'm a _child_ of a demon. Personally? I think I might be the reincarnation of some unlucky bastard who died a ways back. Who knows?" he shrugged, scrubbing a bit of blood off his whiskered visage. "Life hasn't afforded me much in the way of answers. "I'm not normal. Nor have I ever claimed to be. Now, have you any last requests?"

Balon glowered up at him through the blood, through the pain, furiously defiant to the end.

"What is dead may never die." he growled. "Kill me, and the ironborn will rise again, harder and stronger than you can possibly imagine."

Naruto scoffed, his voice silken with menace.

"I plan on it."

The boy was a credit to his profession, for Balon never saw the blow that killed him. It was a very good cut, a distant, detached part of him mused; sharp, precise, and straight to the bone. His head came clean off with not so much as a whisper. Instantly lethal. When it came, he barely noticed it at all, beyond a strange, weightless sensation. How odd it seemed, to stare _up_ at his body, to watch it tumble to the floor in a crimson heap of flesh and bone...

No, his neck never felt the knife.

Only soft, gentle...

 _...blackness._

* * *

 _Boy,_

 _Do you take me for a fool?_

 _I won't bandy words with you. Varys hinted enough about your reckless exploits for me to guess. I'm pleased that you dealt with the Ironborn as you did. I would have done the same._ _Next time, TELL ME before you go gallivanting about the seven kingdoms!_ _As to Lady Melisandre, she has provided me wise and council and you will not speak ill of her as such. I have taken pangs to keep her out of sight of those who would wish her harm. Speaking of a harm_ _, I feel it is my duty to inform you that Selyse has taken ill. Poison, the maesters say. I know you have no love for her, but there is. I suspect it was meant for me._

 _Come home._

 _NOW._

 _Your Lord and King and **Father,**_

 _~Stannis Baratheon._

 _o_

 _o-o_

 _o_

 _Pops,_

 _Damnit, how the HELL do your runners keep finding me? Then I remember miss shadow pussy and it makes sense._

 _Oh, and w_ _ise council?_

 _You're burning people again, aren't you? Are you **trying** to provoke those sparrows? They've been crawling all over the city ever since we took it and I suspect its grown worse by now. Do you want ANOTHER war? No, wait. Don't answer that question. _

_And another thing!_

 _If I'm going to be tied down to the Tyrells against my will with a woman I've NEVER met, then I'm going to ENJOY myself first!_

 _I intended to savor it and so I have._

 _Oh, and good. No offense, but I hope Selyse. DIES. Slowly. Painfully. Over a period of days. She's never been kind to Shireen and I don't give a rat's ass for anyone who beats my baby sister. My recommendation? Put your wife out of her misery and find someone better, father. You owe yourself that much. Hell, even Cersei Lannister would be a step up from that shrew!_

 _Now that the kraken's out of the net, so to speak, I suppose there's no harm in telling you I am, in fact, coming home. Happy? I just need to finish up this letter to Winterfell and I'll be on my way._

 _See you when I see you,_

 _~Naruto._

* * *

 _(Winterfell...)_

* * *

 _"That...bastard! You_ absolute _bastard!"_

"I didn't mean to offend, Lord Stark."

"Not you, Ramsay!"

Ramsay Snow wondered about that.

 _Clearly_ something about the raven's message had rubbed the Warden of the North the wrong way, but the bastard knew better than to pry.

As if to answer that very thought, Robb Stark-Lord of Winterfell-flung the scroll down near the still-smoldering hearth and whirled away from the table with a bitter snarl, an angry scowl tugging at his face. Grey Wind hastened after his master, not without casting a baleful look back at the bastard .He let it pass, unchallenged. Powerful beast, that one, Ramsay mused to himself. A direwolf put his hounds to shame any day. He'd do well to watch himself around such a being. Better yet, get one of his own. Now _there_ was a tempting thought and not an impossible one at that...

"Here."

Ramsay paused in his musings as a parcel was unceremoniously thrust into his hands, wondering at what it was. Before he could ask, Robb whisked himself out of the room in a flurry of cloaked furs. That only made his curiosity all the more insatiable. Whatever he'd been given felt fairly light...

But first things first.

Once he was certain he was alone, he swooped in and deftly plucked the letter from where it lay on the floor, quickly enough to save the message from the heat of the flames, curious as to what it might hold. He wasn't disappointed.

 _Robb,_

 _Sooooooo, you might want to leave the Iron Islands alone for awhile. As in...forever. Y'see, I may have lost my temper and butchered a bunch of them...Balon included. Figured you should know. How many is a bunch? You don't want to know. You're probably scowling right now. In fact, I'd wager my new sword on it. You're likely pissed as all hell that I stole retribution out from under you, but trust me, its better this way. Vengeance can grow in you like an ugly, gnarled root, and it'll take hold if you let it. Take it from someone who knows._

 _It if makes you at all feel better. Margaery and I will come North with you for your bloody uncle's wedding before I visit the Wall, but Maker's breath I still think this wedding business is a rotten idea. The Freys aren't happy with you right now, and have always been known for swooping in the past. Trust me, swooping is BAD. So make sure you wear ARMOR, would you kindly?_

 _Oh, and if you happen to chance upon Ramsay in Winterfell, I've got a neat little surprise for him. It took some work on my part and a good bit of bickering with Roose and the old man, but...that deed is done. There should be a writ attached to this letter, naturalizing him as a legitimate Bolton. I remember my debts. Anywho, I'm off to maim and murder the Ironborn in Moat Cailin before I head home. I'm a fucking prince, now! Apparently I can get away with shit like that._ _Can you believe it? I still can't._

 _Warmest regards,_

 _~Naruto._

Fascinating.

He wouldn't be opposed to seeing his old friend again, certainly not after all of this-

"Ramsay!" Robb's voice called from below the stairs. "Are you coming or not?!"

"Yes, m'lord!"

Ramsay flung the message into the fire and started after Robb, offering a dutiful, deferential smile and an agreement he didn't necessarily feel. He'd always been good at that. Smiling. Faking it. No one second-guessed a kind face and deferential attitude. Theon Greyjoy certainly hadn't. No one EVER suspected a bastard, either. Hmm. Perhaps that was how the prince had risen so swiftly through the succession. From what little he remembered of him in their miss-spent youth, the flame-haired youth had always been a clever sort; an angry boy concealing is true intentions beyond a silver tongue and crafty facade built of kindness and guile.

Fate was a strange thing, wasn't it?

In another life, another time, another story, they might well have been enemies. Remarkable, how swiftly his station had changed.

Instead he'd been there. _He_ had retaken Winterfell from the treacherous Ironborn, he had opened the gates for the Warden of the North and his men. But most improtant of all, it was _he_ who had learned that Bran and Rickon Stark were still alive-Theon had proved remarkably compliant under the knife-when all others thought they were dead. And now he was suddenly the heir to his lord father, destined to inherit the Dreadfort and all its surrounding lands.

Truly an embarrassment of riches.

Unlike that Brienne woman.

Her fortunes had been decidedly reversed with the coming of the new regime. He'd only seen her once from afar, but Robb had told him all he needed to know. Renly's former knight hadn't been pleased to learn of the new leadership in Westeros. Indeed, she'd rode off in a fury several days ago. Supposedly she loathed Stannis for some perceived slight or another-he hadn't bothered to learn which. Regardless, if she planned to strike at the king through Naruto...she was in for a surprise. Now Ramsay considered himself a twisted bastard in his own right, but even _he_ knew better than to poke a sleeping dragon. His temper had been something to fear in their boyhood days, even if he claimed to have mastered it with those "purges" of his.

Sometimes he was convinced Naruto might be half-Targaryen for all the fire he spewed when he was well and truly angry.

Needless to say, Ramsay had no intention of challenging the status quo. Not with that one around.

Of course not, not when _he_ was an honored guest of said Starks. And Balon's last boy, though mostly intact -sans a finger or three!- would no doubt never see the light of day ever again. Pity. He'd been well on his way to making a masterpiece of that one. Not that it mattered now. He was certain to be rewarded for his service in reclaiming Winterfell from those hated Ironborn usurpers. The reward might be greater still if he managed to track down the Stark boys and bring them home safe and sound. Theon had vomited that valuable piece of information early in the torture.

His best man was on it, after all.

Locke would bring them home, one way or another.

Poor Theon, though.

It was a shame, he hadn't been able to finish with him-no, wait.

It wasn't.

What awaited him at the Stark's hand was far worse than missing a few bits.

* * *

 _My lord and prince,_

 _You have my sincerest thanks for eradicating the Ironborn in Moat Cailin. If you hadn't, I would've had to smuggle myself back into the North. I understand you've requested aid in tracking down Arya Stark? I would be honored to send my son, Ramsay, to aid your sworn shield, Eleanor, in this endeavor. I understand the two of you have something of a history. Say the word and it will be so._

 _Regards,_

 _~Roose Bolton._

* * *

 _(...Elsewhere, on the King's Road...)_

* * *

"You're a right squirrely little bastard, you know that?"

"Figure that out yourself, did you?"

"Wasn't that hard."

"So?"

The sellsword looked up from sharpening his sword just long enough to see his employer place a brace of rabbits over the fire. Freshly skinned, their tender flesh began to crackle and pop and within moments, the men had their supper. Bronn took the opportunity to observe his host. If the prince was at all aware of his attention, he did precious little to show it, yet he still seemed to expect an answer all the same.

Nothing about this boy was normal.

Most Nbbles didn't know how to hunt, and couldn't fight, and they they sure as _seven hells_ didn't fight small armies alone! He hadn't been privy to the assault on Moat Cailin until it was well under way; until the prince hurled himself through a hail of arrows, ran up the castle wall-ran up it like a bloody spider!-and leaped down into the fray. Then came the screams. To this day, Bronn still didn't know what had happened in those old walls, only that he'd never heard the like. Whatever he'd done had rocked the entire keep to its foundations, set half the keep on fire, and sent Ironborn running for the hills-those few that managed to escape him at all.

Judging by the self-satisfied smile Naruto had been wearing for the last week, it'd proved something of a cathartic experience for his liege.

"Way I see it, you don't strike me as the ruling sort." he said, after a moment's thought. "You put on a good show, but its just not in you. You'd rather do your own thing."

"True!"

Naruto barked out a laugh at Bronn's astute statement and surreptitiously rubbed his hands together when he was certain his petulant escort wasn't looking, causing their small campfire to flare. Most men didn't react terribly well to his "gifts", but then again, most didn't possess them. More and more as of late he'd begun to wonder about that. Where _did_ they come from? Why did he heal so fast? How was it that he could command fire, walk on water, run with all the speed of the wind itself? Even the earth itself seemed to yield to him! He certainly hadn't inherited any of it from Stannis. Which left his mother. Of whom he knew nothing but a name. It was maddening!

Speaking of maddening...they still had a long, hard ride ahead of them yet.

It would've been better to simply abandon the horses altogether, and _run_ in this case, to use his unbridled stamina to hasten the journey home on foot. But that would mean leaving Bronn behind, something he had no desire to do. Nor was he in any hurry to return for that matter. And why should he be? What did he have back home beyond Shireen? Duty? The Red Woman? A broken heart? A woman he'd never met? And marriage. MARRIAGE! The very thought made him shudder something fierce. He'd be tied down, expected to produce heirs, attend grand galas and maker knew what else...

No, he decided, he liked this far better, even if it did keep him from his baby sister.

Yes, this.

This!

 _This_ was what he loved. The wind in his face as he watched the sun dip over the horizon, the sweet music of the night, the open air whipping through his hair. Nothing to tie him down, nothing to hold him but his own will and means. It smelled like freedom. Not that perpetual, slimy-shit-sink _-stench_ of King's Landing. All the perfume and fragrance in the world couldn't cover the rotting scent of dead bodies, whores plying their trade, and piss-poor ale. He _hated_ it, and the thought worried him. He was beginning to realize just how ill-suited he was to becoming a prince. Violent urges and voices aside, he simply wasn't the ruling type. He loved action, playing pranks and-until recently-had delighted in bedding a certain shield-maiden. Needless to say the latter was off the table.

There was the matter of who would succeed Stannis when he inevitably passed away. He was tempted to simply foist it off on Shireen, but who would accept her?

Could he even bring himself to _do_ that? To lay such a burden on her shoulders? At all?

In the end, he'd have to make a choice-

"Ho, there!"

Naruto's head snapped up as a sharp voice called to them amidst the waning light, accompanied by the sound of hooves. Their own mounts shied away nervously from where they were tied, dithering against the sudden explosion of noise. Naruto drew a knife, and Bronn was only just reaching for his by the time they rode up on them. They, were soon revealed to be a woman and a horse. The sight gave him pause. Not that it was a girl mind you, but that she was wearing armor. Not something you saw everyday. Regardless, he kept to the shadows. One could never be too careful these days.

"Is there room by your fire?" she asked without preamble.

Bronn's face lost its smile.

"Fancy armor ya got there." he didn't sheathe his sword. "Expecting a fight?"

"Of a sort." the woman confessed.

Naruto frowned.

She looked rather disheveled, but her armor _was_ fine; fine indeed, to the point of being outright garish. Gold and plated bronze all, it had clearly seen better days. So had its owner. She looked vaguely familiar, but no, he couldn't recall having ever seen her before. Maker, she was tall! He felt certain he would have remembered a woman like this. Built for battle and armed to the teeth. Not some dainty flower like his bride-to-be. Bah, he was overthinking things again, wasn't he?

"Fine by me." he shrugged, indicating what remained of the rabbits on the spit. "Lean pickings, though."

The woman muttered her thanks, and, after hobbling her horse, claimed a spot by the fire pit. Naruto handed her one of the remaining rabbits and, to his surprise, the woman tore into it as though she hadn't eaten in a week. Perhaps she hadn't. Her face did look rather gaunt. Out of pity, if nothing else, he offered her what was left of his own hare. That too was soon devoured, alongside a bit of wine from his own personal flask. As he was in a good mood, he was feeling generous. Besides, she looked like she needed it.

"Its not often I see two armed men on the King's Road." the armored woman said after another sip. "What brings you this far south?"

Naruto quietly snorted.

"We have...business in King's Landing." What?! It was true!

"So do I."

"Oh? And what might that be?"

"I owe a man a debt." her voice was pure steel. "And I intend to repay it."

"Got a name then, ser knight?"

The woman gave Bronn a long, languid look.

"I'm not a knight."

"Still didn't get the name." Bronn prodded.

 _"Brienne."_

Naruto nearly spat out his dinner. As it were, he turned his head again, hiding in the shadows.

He recognized the name alone, if not the face.

Brienne.

As in Brienne of Tarth.

Renly's once and former knight.

It was only a matter of time before she realized who _he_ was. Now, if they could just away from here before miss tight-britches decided to pick a fight. And she would, of that he had no doubt. She struck him as the type to nurse a grudge against Stannis. And what better way of getting back at him than by striking at his son? At him? Ergo, a fight. Ordinarily, he would've leaped at the opportunity but no-this would be a fight to the death and strange as it might sound, he had no desire to take her life. Brienne was a good knight, a loyal knight, one of the few honest folk left in Westeros.

 _And he didn't want to kill her unless he absolutely had to._

"Well," he began, standing, "Its been a pleasure, but we must be going. Keep the camp. We won't be needing-

"Hold!"

Naruto swore.

 _'Keep walking, keep walking, just keep walking-_

"Wait...I think I know you." she peered closer, the shadows falling from her face.

"Nope! Not at all!"

"Yes." Brienne insisted, moving closer. "I do. You...You're the king's boy." Her face remained blank a moment longer. Then it darkened. "YOU!"

"Me?!" Naruto squawked!

 _Damn but she was fast._

Her sword blazed free from its sheathe in a heartbeat, clashing against Naruto's light dagger. Thankfully the valyrian steel held, enabling him to tuck and roll away from the madwoman. Surprisingly she did not pursue; thought that might have been due to Bronn hurling a fistful of burning ashes in her face. Regardless, Brienne of Tarth did not pursue, but instead settled for glowering bloody red daggers at him across the fire. Well, so much for avoiding a fight...

"Your father killed Renly." she seethed. "The rightful king."

A long, awkward pause pushed itself between them.

At length, Naruto sighed quietly.

"I know he did. He told me."

"You don't deny it?"

"Should I?"

She made as if to lunge at him, but Bronn stepped forward, a cagey look in his eye.

"The hell do you want?"

"A life for a life." she growled. "His father stole someone precious from me. I aim to take something from him."

"Sod that!"

"Look, lady," Naruto scratched at the back of his head with his off hand, never lowering the knife for a moment, "I don't. Does that make you happy? I won't pretend to understand his motives or his reasoning. But he's my dad, ya know? I can't just turn my back on him. So if you aim to kill him, you'll have to go through me. Would you really create chaos in Westeros just so you can avenge you blasted honor?" her face twitched, but he pressed on, heedless of the danger, "Is it really worth all of that strife just so you can _ffffffffffuck!"_

An angry curse was all he had time for as she leaped over the fire and swung!

Years of training kicked in all at once; his lightly armored arm snapping up to deflect the blow that would've almost certainly taken his head.

From there he lost all thought.

 _Kushina_ rose with a mournful howl, valyrian steel flashing in the wan light of the fire to parry the next strike and then another, swinging low to meet Brienne's thigh. The knight blocked with a forearm and kicked out at Bronn, who'd been edging closer, catching him in the gut and driving him back a step. Naruto took the opportunity to launch a vicious crosscut at her chest, denting the armor and catching her blade off balance in what could only be called a jagged riposte, forcing Brienne's arms down and away from her face.

"Can't we talk about this?!" he groaned.

Brienne's only response was a wordless snarl.

And then it ended.

Naruto swung high in a sweeping cut, riding the force of the blow home with a snarl and forcing Brienne to hastily raise her blade lest she lose her head. He didn't stop. Kushina crashed down against Brienne's blade in a flurry of sparks, striking again and again and again, each blow driving her blade closer to the ground. With the fourth, he took the opportunity to push himself closer over crossed blades, pushing until her. It was then that Brienne realized he was suddenly using _one_ hand to hold the sword-and by definition her-to the ground. And the other was arcing back to his belt, back, back, _back..._

Her eyes bulged.

Too late she tried to skitter backwards out of his reach, to retreat to some semblance of safety. Too slow. Naruto's free hand, and the knife within arrowed out in the next instant. There was no time to think, to react, to even blink. Naruto ended her with a furious, frustrated shout, the small blade punching deep into her skull just below the right eye; driving home into her brain and sprouting up out the back of her forehead like an ugly steel splinter, spattered red with brain matter. Even then Brienne didn't die. Not immediately. Her mouth worked wordlessly in disbelief, fumbling on some last word of defiance.

With an angry twist, Naruto wrenched the blade free and let her fall.

Renly's last knight dropped with nary a sigh, her expression frozen in muted horror, a bloody hole in her head. Naruto stood over her rapidly leaking corpse, panting softly. His hands rose, shaking, not with fear, but anger and began scrubbing bits of blood from his whiskered visage.

"Stupid," he swore quietly, gnashing his teeth. "Stupid, stupid, _stupid!_ I was going to let you go!"

It was a brief and bitter end, and she did not deserve it.

"Strike the camp and get the horses ready." he said to Bronn after a long moment. "We're leaving."

"Eh? Its bloody dark out-

 _"I said we're fucking leaving!"_

* * *

 _Lord Selwyn Tarth,_

 _It grieves me to inform you that your daughter is dead. She set upon me and my companion on the road and I was forced to defend myself. Alas, she refused to be taken alive. I understand if you don't want to reply. I, look, for what its worth...I'm sorry._

 _~Naruto._

* * *

 _(Several days later in King's Landing...)_

* * *

Conquering and ruling were not the same thing.

In hindsight, Naruto should've realized this crucial, fundamental lesson sooner. It was the same folly that had proved the undoing King Robert and several others before him, and it might be _his_ undoing yet. But when your blood was up and you were caught in the heat of the moment, it was easy to forget. When wrath was upon you, when you lost yourself in battle rage, you didn't think about such things. When you were following your lord father's orders-completing the mission-there was no time for such thoughts. To think of the future in the heat of battle was tantamount to falling upon your own blade.

He'd always strove to live in the present, to not worry about tomorrow and the perils it would bring. He'd always been a bastard. Why should he expect more? For a time, he'd been satisfied with his lot in life and had no desire for more.

But he _had_ been given more, hadn't he? More than he'd ever dared to dream, more than he could ever hope to possibly imagine.

Now, with the Ironborn in disarray, he found himself having to live in a world as foreign to him as the idea of peace itself. After only a day, the idea made him sick to his stomach.

No more forays into the dark, no more assassinations, for the time being. Now it was only...

...this.

Gone were his simple trousers and homespun tunic; in their place he'd been pressed into - _quite literally!-_ a wretched brocade doublet and ghastly puce-colored outer garments, the latter of which only stoked the flames of his temper all the more. He looked like a preening peacock! His only solace being that they at the very least _resembled_ his favorite color! The ghastly pants were viciously tight, and that accompanying cloak bordered on the outlandish; he wouldn't have bothered with the latter if Shireen hadn't gang-pressed him into it.

Honestly, he almost missed being no one!

Certain things were expected of Naruto _Baratheon,_ that weren't of Naruto the bastard. A great many things, some of which he would rather do without, but responsibilities remained his all the same. It was an easy thing to kill a man in a brawl, when he was coming at you, determined to end you and yours. It was another thing entirely when that someone hadn't lifted a finger against you your entire life. The difference was dangerous-a slippery slope that separated man from beast and kind from cruel.

Even _he_ slipped, sometimes.

Ah, but he digressed! Back to the matter of the Iron Throne.

It was difficult enough to capture the throne by itself, even with sufficient force and enough allies beside you. Keeping it was another matter. Truly, when you possess something valuable, the world wants nothing more than to take it away from you. Money, women, even something as basic as a warm hearth. If you could not keep them, they would be stolen away from you as surely as the wind itself.

 _That,_ however _,_ was a lesson he'd taken to heart long ago.

Even a bastard-or former bastard in his case-knew the importance of holding tight what he held dear. Better to keep his friends close and his enemies closer, so that he might know their moves before they knew them themselves. It was the reason he hadn't butchered Baelish...yet. He knew he couldn't trust the man, but all the same he required his expertise. Littlefinger was merely one small spoke in the mighty wheel that ran the the Kingdoms and though he longed to break that wheel, he knew he didn't have the kind of power...yet.

Like it or not for now, he was back to being a part of the wheel.

* * *

 _(...)_

* * *

It was for this reason, if not any other, that he was about to decide whether a man lived or died.

No sooner had he returned to King's Landing than he'd been summoned by his father before the Iron Throne. The summons had been rather abrupt; a guard had woken him from his nap, conveying the dire wishes of Stannis with such brusqueness he suspected that the poor sod actually felt sorry for him. He'd expected it to be some minor manner, and inconvenience at most to distract him from his drinking. Instead, to his great dismay, a strange scene stood before him, one he didn't recognize, but one he immediately understood.

That only alarmed him all the more.

It was not uncommon for peasant-folk to petition the crown for intervention in matters of house and home, though the late Joffrey had all but done away with such a thing. Stannis had revived the practice, with a single minded determination that only a Baratheon could possess, setting aside three hours of the day by which to hear petitioners and their pleas. The people loved him for it-if only because he was just and fair the like they'd never seen, or expected to be.

And today, the Son of the Stag found himself dragged into the whole ghastly process all over again!

It was made all the worse by the fact that _she_ was there.

That blasted red woman, so smug, so confident!

Just looking at her made him see red!

Red, red, red.

Naruto narrowly controlled a reflexive burst of breath when he saw Melisandre at his father's side, her pale face inscrutable. _Covert, my ass!_ He stifled a burst of fire in his hand. It would be so tempting to give one of the braziers a good hard yank, see how fireproof she was then...huh. Not a bad idea, really. It was a fitting solution, and an ironic one at that. The sooner he got her away from the old man the better!

But that was a thought for another time.

For now, two men stood before him, neither known to his eye, looking at him as though their lives depended on it. Was he expected to decide their fates?

"My lord." Melisandre tilted her head towards him with insufferable smugness.

Naruto tactfully ignored her.

"Father." he forced the word out between clenched teeth. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

His suspicions were only confirmed by what happened next.

"This man," Stannis began without pause or preamble, leaning forward upon the throne, gloved hand sweeping towards the man in fine, redolent silks," Claims that the other stole a great deal of food from him. He," his lord father indicated the lesser man with rags and a grim look, "Has pleaded guilty to the fact and stands accused of theft. I want _you_ to decide his sentence."

Naruto balked at this. "Why me?"

The look his father gave him could've been a smile or a sneer.

"If you're going to rule someday, you need to know such things."

 _Urk._

He understood his father's words, then.

 _True tests never end._

When he turned his gaze back to the reedy peasant and the rather, ah...large merchant, the latter all but preened like a peacock. No doubt he assumed the verdict would unabashedly in his favor. Naruto raised a hand for silence before the pudgy man could so much as open his mouth. In this aspect at least, being a bastard gave him a unique perspective. He knew what it was like to be poor. To have nothing. To scratch and claw as hard as you could for the smallest of scraps, to make something of yourself. Yes, he understood this man's plight well indeed but _Maker,_ why did he have to deal with this...

"And how do you plead?" he asked of the peasant.

"Please, m'lord! Mercy!" the thin man wrung his hands together and begged for leniency. "My family were starving, they were and Thomas keeps raising his prices! I had no choice!"

"Is this true?" Naruto's head snapped back to the merchant in question. "Have you raised your prices?"

"Of course not! My prices are perfectly fair-

"Lying to the crown is a capital offense." the bastard cut in, voice silken with anger. "I ask you again. Have you. Raised your. _Prices."_

Thomas's face took on a distinct, puce color. "...yes, my lord."

"How many times?"

...three."

"How large is your family?" Naruto asked of the peasant.

"T-Two sons and a daughter, m'lord." the man stuttered out. "My wife's got another one on the way."

Naruto glanced back at his father. "Is this true?"

Stannis nodded slowly. "The city watch confirmed it when they dragged him out of his...hovel."

Facing the peasant, he inquired:

"What's your name?"

"J-Jowan, m'lord."

"Have you any skills to speak of?"

"I...I'm a mason, m'lord. Like my father before me. And his father before him."

"And you stole from this man because he continued to raise his prices."

Thomas stiffened. "In the current economy-

"Silence!"

"A word, if I may?" Melisandre offered, her voice sweet as poisoned honey.

Just like that, his temper slipped the leash.

 _"You may not!"_ Naruto's voice cracked like a whip, silencing her. "This will be my decision! I need no help from meddling priestesses!"

"Castle Black _is_ in need of men-

"The journey is the destination." Naruto spat back. "Look at him!" he thrust a finger at Jowan. "He's learned his lesson. And how would his family survive, hmm? Take this man away and they'll starve. No, I won't have it and that's final. Jowan!" The man nearly fainted dead away when Naruto turned his gaze back on him. "I hereby bequeath to you one hundred gold dragons and sentence you to reconstructing the harbor defenses. Your eldest will squire under me once he's of age. Send him to the Red Keep when he's ready. If you are caught stealing again, I'm taking the whole arm. Understood?"

Jowan balked and fumbled to catch the pouch of coin, baffled by this sudden turn of events. "M-M'lord?"

"What are you waiting for? Off with you!"

"Th-Thank you, m'lord!"

Thomas bristled as Jowan skittered away, clutching his coin.

"My _lord_ , this man is a _thief!_ Surely you cannot-

"The only thief I see here is you!" Brimming with barely suppressed anger, Naruto stormed down the steps to the the throne and stabbed a finger in the opulent merchant's rotund gut with such force that the merchant all but stumbled backwards. "Lower your prices, man! Eat less! Perhaps then half the city wouldn't be _starving_ and _you_ would have less fear of theft!"

The guards ushered the portly man and closed the doors out before he could say otherwise.

When Naruto finally deigned to turn away from the now-sealed sanctum, he found his sire staring at him. There was no fury or joy there in that gaze, only an eerie, curious calm that left him ill at ease. He'd never been able to read his father, whether it came to combat or anything else. The man might be his father, but his thoughts were often closed to him; an impassable wall of jagged dragon glass that no man could surmount. Many had made the attempt-himself included-and they'd only harmed themselves for their efforts. Not him.

He'd given up trying to understand the old man long ago.

"Why did you spare him?" he asked at last. "He should have lost his fingers for theft."

Ah, there it was.

"Sometimes a softer touch is required." Naruto replied, studying his own hand. What would he do if he lost his fingers? Would they heal, like the rest of him often did? Or would they be gone, lost to the knife forever? He oft wondered himself. Something in him had taken pity on the poor man. But that man was not his enemy. Others were. "Who knows?"

"You'd have me make peace with half the bloody kingdom if you could." Stannis glowered. "Our enemies won't fear us if we're so eager to appease them."

Naruto bit back a groan. "And where would we be if we'd done it your way, hmm?! Oh, I know! Broken and beaten back at Dragonstone!"

Stannis glared at him with the force of a thousand suns.

"Tread carefully, son."

"He is the Lord of Light's chosen." Melisandre seconded, stout in her belief. "He has no need of mercy for nonbelievers."

Naruto gagged. "Chosen my ass. Where was the Lord of Light when we sacked this city? Eh? Where was he when good men and women died? Burn them. Burn them! That's all your bloody good for, apparently! Maybe that's why we've got sparrows all over this city, hmm?! And yet you say, burn them! Do you want to burn down King's Landing while you're at it, like the Mad King? Because we all know how that turned out!"

Her silence was telling.

"I helped take this place, you witch! I took this city!" Naruto reached for his temper but it was gone and wrath boiled out of him, red and hot and raw as unforged steel. "Not for you or your god, but for my father!" He surged forward to snarl at her, and she cringed back, startled by his vehemence. "It was strength of arms, alliances, and careful planning -my plan!- that won the day! Not you and your blasted God! Not you and your sorcery! Now get the hell out of my sight before I gut you and put your head on a spike!"

Stannis must've seen the beast threatening to break free; because remarkably, he agreed.

"Leave us, woman."

After a reluctant pause, the Melisandre complied. Naruto didn't dare look at her, for fear of losing himself completely. He kept his hands screwed tightly shut until the last of her footfalls finally faded.

Only when they were alone did his father speak.

"You hate her, don't you?"

"Of course I hate her." Naruto relented with a sigh. But it doesn't matter."

"And why not?" a pause. "Why are you laughing?"

"Oh, that?" Naruto snickered, quietly pleased by the question. "That's easy. I'm happy, you see."

Stannis arched an eyebrow. "I don't suppose you're going to tell me why."

"It's clear to me now that, you know, this war? Its not finished yet, oh no, I'm just getting warmed up." he brought his hands together, producing a loud pop of sound. "This is war, old man. Total fucking war. Bitter, backstabbing, no-holds-barred war. Everyone thinks we're content, now, but we aren't, are we? Well, you might be. Me? I'm just getting started. There's the Lannisters, them Ironborn if they start again, the Freys, that Targaryen girl, and don't even get me started on the bloody undead knocking on the North's door and all. Wall. Whatever. That's gonna be hard. But King's Landing?" Smiling, the blond spun away, facing a nearby brazier. "That's an _easy_ war to win. Hell, I might even enjoy it. But first...

"Don't." Stannis warned, his voice stern.

Naruto offered an innocent blink.

"Don't what?"

"I know what you're thinking." His father rose ponderously from the Iron Throne, glaring down at him. "And I forbid it. She's given me wise counsel."

"Do you?" Naruto challenged, standing beside him. "Then what am I thinking, hmm?"

"About the Red Woman." Stannis countered. "You want to kill her."

"Oh, her? Yup. She's a bitch."

"Lady Melisandre is-

"A. Bitch."

"Naruto."

"She's a bitch," Naruto sang back happily, "She's a bitch, she is the bitchiest bitch that every bitched-

 _ **"BOY!"**_

Something snapped.

Naruto didn't know what it was, but suddenly, abruptly, he simply stopped caring. He'd won Stannis the throne. If he wanted to piss it away by listening to the whispers of a mad priestess...

"FINE! I won't kill her...yet." he reassured his sire with limpid sincerity. "But I will, eventually."

"You will not."

"You won't be able to stop me," Naruto shook his head; for he meant every word. "So, you have a choice. Either you send her away _real_ soon, or sometime, someplace, all hell is going to break loose. Everyone expects me to play their games-to be the good, doting prince, the yin to your yang, so on and so forth. And I will, for a bit. I'll go to all their insipid little parties, drink their wine, eat their food. I'll even marry Margaery and give you a damned grandson and keep your kingdom together in the meantime. However...

"However?"

"When you least expect it, someone's gonna pull the whole thing down." It felt surreal, threatening his lord and father, but here he was. "If not me, then someone else. They're gonna bring the whole, _fucking,_ diseased, corrupt temple down on your head. It's gonna be biblical."

"Biblical?"

"New word of mine." Naruto interjected harshly. "So you have a choice. Get rid of that bitch, or so help me...

He left the rest unfinished, smiling thinly.

Without another word he stormed out of the Red Keep.

* * *

 _(Some Hours Later...)_

* * *

When you were a bastard-legitimate or not-you had a tendency to be a tad...paranoid.

Naruto had always been leery of company. That is, the company of those whom he wasn't prepared for or expecting. Even in his brightest moments, seldom though they were, he never lowered his guard. Even when he was getting hopelessly sloshed or sound asleep he didn't drop his defenses. Not truly. Years of growing up in Dragonstone and persistent attempts on his life by his stepmother and other individuals had left him prone to insomnia, which eventually make him such a light sleeper. So much so that he would often start upright at the slightest sense of movement, the tiniest noise would jolt him awake, dagger in hand.

A sixth sense, of sorts.

It was this very sense that kept him awake long into the night. Sleep had proved particularly elusive this evening, and his previous outburst hadn't helped. The room itself had once belonged to Joffrey-nasty little twat-and he hadn't had the time to redecorate it. Thus, he found himself glaring at an ugly boar head mounted opposite the bed and imagining it were Melisandre. The little bugger had shot a crossbow bolt right through the beast's eyes, which only gave Naruto new, inventive ways of ridding himself of the priestess.

Such thoughts proved entertaining for a time, but merely thinking of the infuriating woman only irritated him all the more.

"He's a blasted fool, parading her around like that."

He wanted her gone!

She was a poison in his father's ear, a corruption that he couldn't purge no matter how hard he tried. Perhaps Varys was right about her. Poison the bitch and claim it was the work of their enemies. Something, anything that rid the world of her foul presence and incessant obsession with fire.

Thus, he was in quite the fit of pique annoyed when the door creaked open. His hand stabbed under the pillow, plucking the knife, ready to throw.

"One more step and you'll regret it." he warned, pitching his voice to carry.

A small gasp answered.

"Your grace!"

It was enough to give him pause.

"Who is it?"

Gradually, a lone candle illuminated the darkness, exposing a familiar face. He'd seen her in passing since, and he certainly remembered meeting her for the first time. She'd struck him as a schemer, a manipulator, one who would do whatever it took to further herself int he great Game for the throne. She was part of the reason he'd fled the Keep to begin with. He'd been studiously avoiding her ever since he'd returned. That she would go so far as to force a direct confrontation with him was rather...alarming, really. Even so, it took him a handful of seconds to find his voice again, and by the time he had she'd already crossed the threshold to his side.

"What are you doing here?" he hissed.

Margaery Tyrell offered a small smile, her body shifting nervously in the thin green shift she wore.

"Your guards let me through." she said, as though this explained everything. "They are rather...strange."

Naruto opened his mouth to refute such an answer, then remembered his distrust of the Kingsguard, and his desire to be guarded by those loyal to _him_ at all times. Of course. _Of course_ Ulric and the others would let her through. They likely thought it all a good bit of sport, a way for him to get over Eleanor. Odd how a name could evoke such anger and sorrow all at once. Bless those boys. They cared about him, but right now he wasn't sure whether he wanted to commend them or crack them over the heads!

"It still doesn't answer my question." he was distinctly aware of her lightning still more candles on his desk while he spoke. "Why are you here?" My, those were lovely eyes-NO! Stop! Resist! He shook himself slightly and propped himself up on his elbows, refusing to yield to those warm, inviting eyes eyes.

"I thought we might get to know one another, your grace."

Naruto's eyebrows shot straight up to his hairline.

"Did you now? In the middle of the night?"

Heedless of his blunt reply, Margaery sat down beside him.

"They say you killed over a dozen men during the siege." she asked. "Is that true?"

So she aimed to butter him up, did she? She'd be disappointed.

"Fifty-something, actually. Joffrey included.

 _Damnit._

A small laugh burst out of her. "That's an impressive number! And you actually," here her voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper, "Killed King Joffrey?"

"Wasn't much of a king," despite his best efforts, he found himself opening up to this persistent girl. "Just some little twat shouting about on the battlements. He died easily enough." Perhaps he was tired. Perhaps that was it, or maybe he was simply tired of holding everything in. "I don't enjoy it, killing. Unless they deserve it." he stubbornly shook the red haze away from his vision. No, no, no. He'd had enough. There was no reason to raise his hand against the girl in his bed, no matter how much she might baffle him.

"Like Balon Greyjoy?" her voice was rapt with delight.

Naruto's head snapped around with such force that he swore he felt something crack in his neck.

"Maker, does everyone know about that, now?!"

More laughter followed, like musical bells.

"You're not a cruel man, are you?"

The question flummoxed him. Was he cruel? He'd done things he wasn't proud of, certainly. Killing Brienne was one of the most recent of those. Instinct. She'd pressed him and the beast had come howling out, driving a dagger into her skull. He'd let that lad, Tommen, be gutted by his order. And there were countless other mistakes before that. He'd killed in anger. Fits of pique. Some of them had been for a good cause. Others...Maker above, he'd done things that would make Ramsay Snow soil his sheets! But did that make him cruel? Did he take pleasure in it? Or was he so broken that he simply didn't know how?

He honestly didn't know anymore.

"I do what is necessary." he said at last. "What others refuse to do."

That seemed to satisfy Margaery, at least for the moment.

Then she gave him the _look._

It was a look he knew all too well, but on her it was downright...dangerous.

"And what do you think is necessary, now?" her breath ghosted along the back of his neck, causing him to stiffen in more ways than one.

For a mere moment, he was tempted. What was the harm? He _was_ meant to marry her...

Then, reluctantly, he shook his head and denied his bride-to-be.

"Sorry, but I don't think you're up to what I have in mind."

Margaery was silent for a long moment.

Abruptly, she stood up from the bed.

"I might surprise you, your grace."

Then she let go of her gown.

Naruto swore softly.

She stood there before him, naked as the day she'd been born, and against his better judgement, he felt something stir in him.

 _Hunger._

He gazed at her angelic face, her deep brown eyes providing a stark contrast to her alabaster white cream-like skin. Her dark tresses came free from the braid with a gentle tug, framing her gorgeous face like a dark silk curtain. The sensual curve and beauty of her neck and chest, full, firm breasts thrust out proudly before him with her rose-colored nipples and areoles...it stole his very breath away. He couldn't help but take note of those slender arms and of her lean flat stomach before his eyes fell upon her slim feminine hips and then to the patch of dark hair between her thighs, encased within her long supple legs.

"By the gods...

Naruto swallowed thickly. He'd bedded several beauties in the past, but never before had he beheld the sight of a more beautiful goddess before him than he did at that moment. All thoughts of Eleanor were burned out of his mind in an instant, briefly forgotten by the sight before him.

"Do I not please you?" her very voice was a purr.

 _Pleased,_ was not the word Naruto would think of, looking back on this night. Enraptured, maybe.

Shock and incredulity paralyzed him, leaving him rigid as she peeled back the sheets and crawled into his lap. Margaery kissed him then and desire all but choked him, throttled his senses until he couldn't think, couldn't breathe, could only taste her lips against his, feel her flesh against him, skin to skin, her moist slit driving a relentless reaction out of him. Maker, it had been so long. Was it wrong to enjoy himself? Even a little? Just a bit? Was it wrong to be...happy? Did he even deserve it? Evidently so; because his body betrayed him in that instant, and he lost all power to push her away.

"Can you feel my heart?" she took his hand and placed it against her breast, groaning softly.

 _'I'm feeling something!'_

"Its yours." the maiden of Highgarden continued, the words piquing on a moan as he began to thrust inside of her. "I'm yours." her hips ground against his in a hypnotic movement, her cries momentarily muffled both by his lips and her own gasps of pleasure. "When we marry, every part of me is yours. Just as I am now. Yours."

Words abandoned him and Naruto dragged her mouth down to his once more.

Insomnia wasn't the only thing keeping him awake that night.

* * *

 _(The Next Morning...)_

* * *

Daenerys Stormborn certainly lived up to her namesake.

She arrived during one of the worst storms Kings Landing had ever seen, in a ship that seemed ready to capsize at any moment. Not a prisoner, but not a conqueror either. She radiated defiance and beauty with every step, bright eyes dancing like the storm in which they found themselves, her hair the palest silver. A great bear of a man stood with her, looking as though he were trying to shield her from the very storm itself. Jorah Mormont, no doubt. And there, a ways behind them, in cages, likely squeaking and chittering their indignant protest...

Dragons.

The thought sent a small hum of anticipation coursing through Naruto. He'd always wanted to meet a dragon.

But not like this.

This...this complicated things.

 _Everything._

Part of him was still trying to decide whether or not this was all a dream; it certainly seemed like one. He hadn't understood why Littlefinger would drag him out of bed _-now curiously empty and smelling of roses-_ for this until he'd _seen_ the ship from afar. And even then he still hadn't believed it until _she_ stepped off the galley. Of course, the next sentiment he felt was rage. From their perch at the end of the dock he could afford to show a little emotion, soaked as he was.

"You absolute bastard." he growled, watching the guards move to flank the last daughter of the Mad King. Surely such an escort wasn't needed. What could the girl do? Still, the very notion that she was here threatened to undo everything he'd worked for, all he'd done to place Stannis on the Iron Throne. What would he do once he learned of this? Would he call it treason? Would he try to have him killed? One could only wonder, and its the wondering that killed him.

As if sensing those very thoughts, Littlefinger smiled thinly beside him.

"Do you believe me now, my lord?" he asked, and for the life of him, Naruto couldn't rightly tell if the man was being sarcastic or not. "You asked for a dragon. I brought you them and their mother. Alas, the Iron Bank of Braavos was not so generous."

"I was being sarcastic!" Naruto growled quietly as the last Targaryen drew near. "I thought you knew the difference."

Baelish offered a laugh.

"Perhaps next time you should be more specific, then!"

"Oh, I'll give you specific you little-

The storm stole his words away, and then there was no more time, for the Targaryen contingent was upon them. Up close, the poor girl looked like a drowned rat. Not at all threatening, considering she possessed only a handful retainers and a single armed guard. Pity. From what he'd heard he'd expected her to cross the Narrow Sea with a horde of Dothraki screamers at her back. Wherever she'd been, she looked none to pleased that she'd been plucked from the other side of the world and dragged to Westeros. With no army at her back, at that.

"Thank you for accepting our invitation, my lady." Baelish bowed low as the pair drew near. "You honor us with your presence."

The last Targaryen scowled, bright eyes ablaze.

"Why have you brought me here?"

Naruto sighed.

"Well, you see, SOMEONE doesn't understand sarcasm."

Bright eyes cut to him, glowering with cold fire.

"And you are?"

A bitter laugh escaped the Son of the Stag.

"I suppose we'll find out, won't we...?"

 **A/N: And there you have it! Dany is in the capital! What chaos has this sudden arrival wrought?!**

 **Stay tuned to find out!**

 **...The events of GOT ought to be quite different with Stannis on the Iron Throne...will Naruto make it out of this one alive? But the questions don't end here! Now remember that Naruto at the moment, has little to nearly no power in this fic beyond his superior strength, stealth skills, and of course, his wit. He's still himself, just...hardened. And, in the end there will only be one king upon the Iron Throne, and all bloody hell is about to break loose!**

 **So...in the immortal words of Atlas...**

 **...Would You Kindly Review the story of this humble man? And enjoy the previews! Sorry for the confusion, but Dorne pops up NEXT chapter. Didn't want to squeeze everything in here all at once, SO ENJOY THE MULTI PREVIEWS**

 **(Preview)**

 _Drogon hissed._

 _Naruto hissed right back._

 _Dany rolled her eyes._

 _"Men!"_

* * *

 _Naruto stepped back swiftly, the blade passing through empty air._

 _"What was the word again...oh. Right. Dracarys, motherfucker!"_

 _That was all his foe heard before his world erupted into flame._

* * *

 _Word was eventually sent to Dorne in form of a gracious invitation and a reply returned hot on its heels some days afterward._

 _"We would be honored to meet him."_

 _In the end, Stannis was left to mull precisely what the vague words implied. Meet whom? Him? His son? Or perhaps the Mountain himself? Qyburn had proved instrumental in keeping that beast restrained-it helped that he lacked such scruples-yet there were precious few beyond himself and his son who could hope to subdue such a beast without the drugs in his system. And as Father and Son became increasingly preoccupied with the task of managing a flagging kingdom, the likelihood of this became more and more unlikely._

 _The brute would go to Dorne in a box if that was what it took!_

 _A hundred Dornish men arrived no less than a week later, with Prince Oberyn at their head. Their presence was unannounced and thus caught King's Landing by surprise, if only for the volume number of men. They took up residence in the royal quarters and awaited an audience with the crown Prince at the first opportunity. Naruto, Not him. Under any other circumstance Stannis would've been displeased by such a blattant rebuttal but he knew in his heart that he simply didn't possess the spirit of a negotiator. He believed in black and white. There was seldom a gray._

 _Naruto on the other hand...the boy thrived in grays. He liked to imagine that the poor boy would be perfectly at home amongst the wild-blooded folk, loathe as he might be to admit it._

 _His son might be half-mad, but he knew how to play peacekeeper when it suited him._

 _Didn't mean he was going to like it, though..._

* * *

 _(...)_

* * *

 _"This is a bad idea."_

 _"Nonsense!" Tyrion declared winningly,_

 _Naruto hissed through clenched teeth, but otherwise held his tongue._

 _It was a rare thing indeed when the sight of a woman could strike him dumb, but this beauty did just that._

 _Oberyn flashed him a knowing smile._

 _"May I present my niece, Princess Arianne Nymeros Martell."_

 _Naruto opened his mouth to refute such a thing,_

 _"Fuck this. I'm going to bed."_

 **R &R! =D**


	5. Makes You Stronger

**A/N: Another update in less than a month?! SURPRISE!**

 **LOOOOOONG AND IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE COMING UP HERE!**

 **JUST SAW THE NEW GAME OF THRONES EPISODE AND...I AM SATISFIED. MY TEAM WON. Sad for the deaths that happened though, may they Rest in Peace. That's all I'll say on the matter.**

 **As to the episode before the last, well... It had its ups and downs, to be honest.** **Tommen pussed out far too easily, he's rolling over for the Faith and SCREWING CERSEI OVER WITHOUT REMORSE. Never thought I'd actually miss Joffrey. Nuff said. The rest of it was alright, barring some off-screen crap, but I won't spoil it for you guys and girls. Go ahead and watch it. But we all know what's coming, don't we?**

 **BURN THEM ALL!**

 **I'm sooooo fired up for this and my muse has just LEAPED into overdrive with words to spare! This is a MASSIVE CHAPTER, and one that took me a good long while to write.**

 **But then again, I'm sure you could tell that by the word count. A lot happens here, so let's get started!** **Now, before the Fifth chapter** **, let's clarify things:**

 **FIRST!**

 **Let's clarify something. Someone asked about the timeline in this story. With Naruto racing about and all. I'd say...hmm...we're well pas season two and nearing the end of three in terms of time. Of course, not everything is going to play out like that. So Dany's dragons are growing quickly, but they're not massive. Yet.**

 **SECOND!**

 **Daenerys Targaryen is now unexpectedly in the capital, dragons and all, albeit without an army. Needless to say, this is going to raise all SORTS of hell in every corner of the Seven Kingdoms. The bad kind.** **Stannis isn't going to take this threat to his rule kindly. It remains to be seen whether or not he tries to have her killed outright. Everyone's a bit shocked by this. Except...the Martells. I really don't think Oberyn gives two fucks about Dany. In a strange sense, he might even see her as family, of a sort.**

 **THIRD!**

 **I mentioned the Sparrows _several_ times last chapter and they finally make an official appearance in this one. Except Lancel. He's dead, remember? Naruto killed him. Anywho, the good ol' High Sparrow WILL be in this fic, but he WON'T have the same amount of absolute Faith-Militant authority as given them by Cersei's blunders. While this would ordinarily be a good thing, times are changing in King's Landing and the lack of "official" authority makes them all the more dangerous. ****They see Stannis and his devotion to the Lord of Light as a threat, and they won't stand idly by. Neither will Naruto. Expect a clash in this chapter, to which I credit the show for inspiration.**

 **FOURTH!**

 **Naruto HATES ruling. He simply hates it. He can't stand idiots and though he can play peacekeeper when it suits him, he's not the kingly sort. As one reviewer said, he's more of a conqueror than a king, a general who pass orders to. The entirety of his life, until VERY recently he's been something of a weapon for Stannis, and a dangerous one that. He was very reluctant to basically give him a blade and say "Yeah, the Joffrey chap? Kill him." Now, suddenly, he's in charge of his destiny and as a result, he's a bit...lost as to what to do. He's also feeling guilty over his killing sprees.**

 **FIFTH!**

 **Naruto, for all his abilities, also has a glaring weakness. He's not some all-powerful demigod in this. He tends to rely on shock and awe tactics, striking hard and fast before his adversary can react. But the reverse applies to him as well. He CAN be surprised. He can be hurt. And overwhelmed. Oh sure, give him time to think, to react, and he'll DESTROY you. But use his own strategy against him, and you have a chance.**

 **There we go!**

 **I had sooooooooooo much fun writing this chapter. I think I captured the essence of Game of Thrones quite well, here...**

 **VALAR DOHAERIS! Also, a fair bit of talking/plotting in this chapter, so be sure to expect the unexpected =D**

 **ALSO!**

 **Ramsay Bolton appears again in this chapter. And he's BLOODY TERRIFYING.**

 _"We are all sinners, each of us."_

 _"I'll atone when I'm dead."_

 _~Naruto and the High Sparrow._

 **...Makes You Stronger**

 _Naruto,_

 _I understand we have a Targaryen in the capital! I won't ask how or why, only that you have TERRIBLE timing._

 _As to the rest...you have my thanks. If we're being perfectly honest here, I didn't expect you to honor your promise. But you did, and from one bastard to another, you have my eternal gratitude. Just wanted to say that. I'm not good with gratitude. Changing subjects, Eleanor arrived safe and sound to aid us with the hunt for Robb's sister. What a woman! I don't know why you let her slip away, but I suppose you're not one to speak of such things, are you?_

 _Don't worry, I'll treat her with respects and dignities, all. Its the least I can do. On another note, we've picked up the Stark girl's trail. I swear, your woman's half dog the way she-can't say anymore, your wife's glaring at me. Kidding! I'm kidding._

 _Good luck(You'll need it),_

 _Ramsay_

 _o_

 _o-o_

 _o_

 _Ramsay,_

 _Long time no raven! Sorry, had to say it._

 _Soo...you're with Eleanor, now? Not like that, I hope? Have you two tracked down Arya, yet? Rumor has it she's been seen with the Hound-AND NOT LIKE THAT, YOU ASS! Maker, I know how your mind works. As to the matter we discussed earlier, yes, she's here, and I have NO IDEA what to do with her! She tried to have me roasted but apparently I'm still fireproof thanks to that incident when were kids. Neat, huh? Oh, and t_ _ake care of my shield maiden or I'll tie you up and feed you to your hounds~!_

 _Knee deep in shit once again,_

 _~Naruto._

* * *

To say that Stannis was angry would've been an understatement.

He was _livid._

Anyone else would've been thrown into the dungeons and left to rot.

It took a combined alliance of Naruto, Varys, Littlefinger, and surprisingly _Melisandre_ -of all people!-to keep him from calling for her outright execution. The Tyrells remained silent on the matter, but Naruto knew enough of politics to know that the pall would not last long. As soon as the Queen of Thorns learned of this there would be trouble. He wasn't looking forward to that. The Starks likely wouldn't care one way or anothers, after all he'd done to bring Sansa home and make peace in the North.

But _Stannis..._

In the end, it was only their insistence that Dany did not, in fact, have an army at her back, that prevented his lord father from doing anything rash. It did not, however, spare Naruto the complete and utter _shame_ of being caught with guard down for the first time in a decade. He was forced to listen, red-faced, as his father ruthlessly berated him for his insolence. It didn't matter that Littlefinger had been the one to orchestrate it. He'd given the _word,_ more or less unintentionally, and that made him just as suspect.

Anyone else would've been executed on the spot. Littlefinger managed to escape the ordeal with both body and pride intact, claiming he was merely serving the will of the crown. That, and the promise that any attempt or showing of disloyalty in the future would result in a lifetime in the Black Cells.

Naruto...

...well, he wasn't so fortunate.

In the end, he was given an impossible choice.

Either toss the last dragon and her followers into the sea and let them drown, or accept punishment in her stead. He was even given _another_ choice in the latter. He could allow himself to be flogged fifty times, give up a hand, or gouge out his right eye.

The answer, to Stannis, was obvious.

Throw Daenerys Targaryen and her pets into the Blackwater. Let her perish there, and the threat she and her dragons presented die with her. It made sense. His son owed this Targaryen girl nothing, and if he was _truly_ innocent in whatever myriad plot he claimed Littlefinger devised, he would have no problem in seeing her perish. It was the way of things

Naruto, as ever, shocked them all.

* * *

 _(Fifty Lashes Later...)_

* * *

"You called for me, my lord?"

A long, drawn out pause answered.

...is Margaery with you?"

"She is not, my lord."

"Good. I don't want her to see me lik _-AAARGH!"_

An angry growl warped those words into a yowl. A fierce, bestial snarl that had no business issuing forth from a man's throat. It swallowed the muted sound of Qyburn's whole and nigh but threatened to come crashing through the door and drag the former Maester inside if he did not open it this very _instant._ He immediately regretted knocking to begin with; clearly, his benefactor was in no mood to bandy words or other pleasantries. And why should he be? He'd taken fifty strikes from the whip for a crime he didn't commit. All for some girl he barely knew-

"Your grace?"

 ** _"Are ya ploughin' deaf, man?! Get in here!"_**

Qyburn was gone from the hall faster than a copper in Flea Bottom. Upon entering he barely had time to so much as glimpse his patient before he found himself face to face with a wall of impenetrable steel. No fewer than a dozen men-and more than a few women-stood guard over a prone figure on the bed, distinguishable only by their varying states of armor and weaponry. Each looked ready to skewer if he stepped so much as a single centimeter out of line. Hmm. It appeared a few of Tyrion's wilder folk had taken a liking to the equally wild Baratheon.

And towering over the rest, a man who could easily rival the Mountain himself, Ulric stood watch over his host.

That same burly brute immediately moved to bar Qyburn's path when he brought out his tools.

"Not another step, old man." the words emerged as a growl. "He's suffered enough."

"Ulric," a weak voice groaned from the bed, "Move your bloody ass. He's not going to hurt me. If he does, I'll kill him myself. Sound fair?"

The giant grunted, but stepped aside all the same.

Qyburn felt the berserker's eyes on him with each step he took, almost as though the lowlander were waiting for an excuse. By the time he reached Naruto's bedside and pulled the sheet away, they were trying to bore an angry red hole in his back. Fortunately all thoughts of payback fled out his mind like a thief from a window once he got a good look at the wounds.

"That bad, eh?" Naruto whispered, his voice hoarse.

For an alarming moment, Qyburn found he couldn't answer, for the sight that awaited him there had all but stolen his breath away. He'd seen-and done-many an unethical thing in the hallowed pursuit of knowledge and advancement. Countless experiments, several of which had gotten him banned from the Citadel. He was no stranger to pain, or blood, after all. But this, _this..._

...Naruto's wounds exceeded all those several times over.

Stannis had laid into his heir apparent with fire and fury-enough to be deemed spiteful-enough to make his point clear. The King's price for what he deemed...insolence, was high indeed. Dozens of bloody red furrows on Naruto's flesh stood in stark testament to that; crimson canyons crosscut across the length of his hips, back and in some areas, even his upper shoulders.

Some of them had cut clear to the bone in places.

Fifty lashes in all, administered in the privacy of the prince's personal chambers, judging by the bloodstains on the walls and floors. That was the lone mercy Stannis had allowed the young man, so as not to shame him before the whole of King's Landing. That the prince had _allowed_ it at all was something of a miracle. Here was an exceptionally dangerous young man-easily capable of decimating small armies when the need suited him. He did not bow, he did not scrape, he lived as he pleased without ca Yet from what he he'd endured the punishment all the same, without so much as a whimper.

"Qyburn," his host continued after a moment, still not looking at him, "Am I an idiot?"

And there it was.

The loaded question.

"Your grace, I don't believe-

"Don't bullshit me." Sapphire orbs cut across at him like azure daggers, sharp and jagged. "I want a straight answer and right now, only you can provide that. Much as I hate to admit it, my men are too loyal to tell me if I've fucked up, and Shireen's too nice. Everyone else is just plain scared shitless. So?" he blinked. "Am I an idiot? Am I fucking _retarded_ for killing like a mad dog? For letting the last Targaryen into the city, for letting my own father whip me as if I were no one, _nothing,_ for her sake? Tell it to me straight."

"..."

Qyburn paused at that, weighing his options. Naruto valued honesty above all. He'd seen it time and time again in his brief tenure as the boy's maester. Naruto provided him unrestricted access to the Red Keep and all of its resources, not to mention materials for his experiments and a fair deal that the Citadel considered unethical. Doubtlessly the prince thought so as well in his heart of hearts but he saw the practical applications of such ventures. Qyburn had risen high indeed because of him, far higher than he would have done so anywhere else. Lying would only jeopardize that position.

"If I might be so bold my lord," he ventured, "Why go to such lengths? You owe Daenerys nothing. Her very presence here threatens to unhinge everything for you."

"I fucking know!" Naruto groaned, flopping back onto the bed, only to hiss in immediate pain as his entire back violently protested the affront to his wounds. "But once I saw her...I just...I couldn't send her away. "She's nowhere to go. She has nothing. Is nothing." those blue eyes took on an angry, melancholy look. "I know what that feels like. To be a nobody in your own _home,_ to be sneered at like some damn mutt, kicked when your down. This place was her home, once. Even if she doesn't remember it."

"She reminds you of yourself." Qyburn said.

The blond blinked.

"Fuck." he swore, laughing. "I guess she does, In a way. Maybe I can talk her down. Find her a room, or something...

"You are, ah," Qyburn swallowed, "Aware that she still has her dragons."

"They're tiny." Naruto scoffed.

"For now."

"Ugh, fine. She'll stay here, under guard."

"Are you sure that's entirely wise...?"

Naruto's silence was telling.

"My lord," Qyburn ventured, choosing each word with the utmost care, "Reflection is all well and good, but I need to tend to your wounds before they fester."

"What? No." came the grunt. "No stitches. Don't need 'em."

Qyburn balked at this.

"Pardon?"

 **"No. Stitches."** the prince rumbled, pressing his head into a pillow, "Or I'll knock yer teeth out."

"I'm afraid I must insist _-urk!"_

A strong hand wrapped around the collar of his robe and yanked him down to meet the prince's gaze. Eyes the color of bloody red rubies blazed out at him, angry and slitted like that of a cats'. A rational man might've withered beneath such a gaze, cowered fear, but Qyburn? He found himself far too fascinated by the sight before him. Incredible. What sort of phenomena had he gone through to gain eyes like those? Did they change according to his state of mood? Did strong emotions force the change? So many questions, not enough answers! Perhaps he wouldn't mind submitting a sample of his blood-

As if sensing that very thought, Naruto gave him a bleak smile.

 _ **"No."** _

Odd how a single word could convey such menace.

In the end, he found himself nodding dutifully and was released.

"As you wish. No stitches. But, I don't understand. Why summon me if not for-

"I'll be fine in a bit." his patron ground out through gritted teeth. "I just need something for the _pain._ Can't heal that."

"I _do_ have some milk of the poppy-

"Maker, yes!" It was out of his hands in an instant. "Give it here!"

"When you said heal...

"Have a look. Should be kicking in about now."

Reluctantly, Qyburn did just that.

Indeed, his back was red and bloody, but now that he looked again, the young man's wounds didn't seem quite so grievous as they had before somehow. Impossible. He'd seen _bone_ only a few moments ago, now he saw only torn muscle and angry red welts. That...that shouldn't be possible. Wounds like this could cripple or paralyze a man more than _twice_ the prince's size, never mind the fact that Naruto had all but been flayed within inches of his life. No amount of herbs or poultices could possibly hope to undo this much damage in such a short amount of time.

Yet, the longer he looked, the more certain he became.

"This happens often?"

"Constantly." Naruto answered, already stifling an oncoming yawn. "I've always been like this. Get my ass kicked, heal up, get stronger. Rinse and repeat. Its actually pretty damn useful. The old man knows all about it. Probably why he let me choose."

Qyburn frowned thoughtfully. "You mean...?"

Naruto laughed.

"Why else would I stand there and take it?! Remind me to tell you about that time I lost a most of my hand during sword practive. Hurt like hell. Took _weeks_ to grow back. This?" a wry glance over his shoulder, followed by a flash of teeth, "I'll be up and walking in a coupla' days. Doesn't stop it from hurting, though. In my case, any healing comes with a price. And I think he knows that if he tries to hurt me again, he'll regret it."

"Fascinating. Does Daenerys...?"

"Does she know about this? Ha!" Naruto crowed quietly. "I suppose she will, soon enough. Wonder what she'll have to say?"

Engrossed as he was, Qyburn was wholly unprepared when the door opened-slammed, really-open for a second time.

The guards weren't.

All at once the room exploded into motion; someone tossed him off the bed and his head struck a desk. The air was suddenly filled with the sound of drawn steel. By then the intruder was already well through the door, with no time to retreat, let alone react. Fast. Ulric was faster still. The burly brute moved with a speed that betrayed his size, slamming into the trespasser like a rampaging bull. A large hand locked around their throat, lifted them off the floor, and slammed them down against the wall, all one and the same.

It was only then that they heard the hiss.

Then...all bloody hell broke loose.

 _"Dracarys!"_

"Oi!" Naruto squawked a moment later. "Drop her!"

Ulric did as he was bade, furiously patting his sleeve to extinguish the fire there.

Daenerys Targaryen slumped against the wall, Drogon bristling furiously against her shoulder. Indignant anger seemed to hang around her like a fell cloud, ready to lash out at the next person to so much as _glance_ at her, or even in her direction.

"Sorry about that," Naruto croaked. "My men are a bit twitchy today."

The last dragon paused, looked as though she were about to snap at him, and finally saw the bloodstains on the floor. _Then_ she saw Naruto's wounds and an involuntary gasp leaped from her lips. For a moment, a mere millisecond, the most fleeting of instants, she looked very young, Qyburn thought. Then her eyes hardened into violet amethysts and the child within was once more buried beneath layers of hard, unflinching scale.

"Have you gone mad?!" she asked-demanded, really-as she climbed to her feet, words spilling out of her in a furious hiss. "Why did you do that?! I didn't need you to come to my aid!"

A spark of hot ire and annoyance blazed across the blond's face, quickly quelled moments later.

"What can I say?" he sighed quietly." I'm a sucker for damsels and impoverished types."

"Ah." Her lips formed a thin line. "Then you are even more of a fool than I thought."

Ulric struck her across the face. "You will address your prince with respect!"

"ULRIC!"

Naruto's voice cracked like the very whip that had wounded him, and the giant flinched.

"Apologize. Now."

Ulric reluctantly relented and lowered his head.

...sorry, m'lady."

Drogon hissed and Daenerys shot the giant a glower, but otherwise remained mute on the matter. Instead, she drew herself up and turned a seething glare upon Naruto himself. It was a very impressive glare the blond thought to himself, full of fire and fury, even addled by the poppy as he was she actually unnerved him-just a bit. Here was someone who'd grown accustomed to having their life turned upside down at the drop of a hat. Yet, in spite of that, Daenerys Stormborn, a possessed an iron will to make kings tremble, an unbending force that threatened to take the world and shape it anew.

"I demand an explanation."

Then she opened her mouth and Naruto simply couldn't help himself any longer; doped as he was, he laughed in her face. "Do you, now? Well, _I_ demand that you sit your pretty little ass down and stop acting like you're a queen. 'Cuz, in case you _haven't_ noticed, you're not, Khaleesi. Right now, you're a queen of nothing. You have no people, no army, only a handful of loyal advisors and your dragons." She looked all of a moments from flying off the handle at him, but still, he pressed on. "But you asked me a question, so tell ya what? I'll answer. Some men like to fight. Others like to fuck. Me? I like to fish."

 _"What?"_

"Wasn't even fishin' for a dragon to begin with, really." Naruto drawled onward, admiring a bit of imaginary dust beneath his fingers, "Didn't want one. Yet here you are. I can't kill you, because that'd be wrong. I can't send you back across the sea because, yeah, that'd also be a complete dick move on my part and would just as likely lead to a long, painful death, of starvation." with utmost care he spread his arms and sat up slowly, wincing against a the tender pain of tendons knitting themselves back together in his back, "So here we are." he said at last. "You hate me for what I am and I...well, I honestly don't know what to think of you. Hell, I don't even know who you are. Are you an ally? Or an enemy? Who are you, Daenerys?"

She seemed to consider that for a moment, Daenerys did.

Qyburn watched her eyes harden.

"I am the Queen of the Andals," she started quietly but with growing strength, her voice blazing like the very flames from which she'd emerged so long ago, "The Rhoynar and the First Men, Lady Regnant of the Seven Kingdoms, Protector of the Realm, _Khaleesi_ of the Great Grass Sea, and the Mother of Dragons. And who are _you?"_

Naruto whistled softly from where he sat. "Fierce. I like that."

With an effort he stood

Drogon flared his wings and screeched a warning. Such a thing was tantamount to a mice squeaking at a stag, for Naruto did not fear it.

"He doesn't like me, does he?"

Daenerys bristled.

"Neither do I."

"Such lies."

"You-

"I could go on," Naruto waved a hand, cutting her off in mid-sentence. "But I'd rather spare you the endless titles and platitudes. Now that you're here, you are under my protection, for better or worse." His words belied the quiet anger burning in his gaze. "And I'd thank you not to insult those who would do you no harm." a hand rose, trembling only slightly from the pain as its owner indicated the men standing within and without. "These men here are loyal to me, and me alone. Their loyalty cannot be bought with coin or threats so you need fear nothing from them. You will not be harmed, you will not be harassed. No one is to touch you, not even my father. Anyone who tries will lose the hand. I'm no Khal Drogo, but I'll still swear it, on my life."

A flash of hurt flickered in those wide eyes, reminding Qyburn of an old wound not yet healed. "You say much. " Such a fire! Qyburn wondered what it would take to cool such a flame. For if Daenerys was fire, then Naruto was almost certainly wind, destine to fan those flames.

He was rather curious to see how it would turn out, but Daenerys said something else, something that sparked the pricne's temper for the final time.

...I'm starting to think you're insane." she was saying to him when he finally came back to himself.

 _"I'm also known for walking on fucking water. It is known."_ Naruto launched into her with an old _Dothraki_ saying, causing the last Targaryen to start abruptly. _"Surprised?! I'm a learned man myself. I know nearly every language out there. Believe it or not, your highness, I also know what its like to start from nothing. You would do well to remember it-that, and I'm not your enemy. Balk all you like, but its the truth."_

 _That,_ whatever it was,seemed to do the trick.

Speechless, she stood there for a long moment, fuming. Drogon's neck pivoted this way and that, angry and baffled. Then Danery's gathered him up and stormed out in a swirl of silk and skirts. A gesture from Naruto had three guards at her heels, each determined to direct the angry princess to her chamber.

Qyburn sighed into the silence that followed. "That...went well."

Naruto laughed bitterly and staggered back to the bed.

"I've shocked her into thinking, for once." he coughed. "Do me a favor and send a raven to Winterfell. Ask Eleanor for an update."

"Should I inform her of the...incident with your father?"

"What?" Naruto blinked, his resistance to the medicine crumbling at last. "Yeah, whatever. Don't fucking care."

"And what will you do, my lord?"

"I'm taking a fucking nap."

That was all he got out before sleep finally took him.

* * *

 _(...)_

* * *

 _Naruto,_

 _I've received your maester's raven._

 _I'm certain I'm the LAST person you want to talk to right now, for I've hurt you dearly. But I feel this must be said:_

 _You did what?_

 _ **STANNIS** **DID** **WHAT?!**_

 _No father should so abuse their son, let ALONE whip him to a pulp! How could you let him do such a thing?! Have you taken leave of your senses?! Never mind. Don't answer that. I know you; you'd have had a reason for it. You're not the sort to act without a plan. You never were. So if you've taken the last Targaryen under your wing, I feel you must have a reason-even if I can't bring myself to understand it. You always did have a penchant for taking on lost causes..._

 _I've also...heard things, hence._

 _You've certainly wasted no time in moving on. No, no, I shouldn't have said that. Damnit. I didn't mean it. I was the one who left you. My mistake. I wasn't strong enough to understand you. I have no right to be jealous. I shouldn't BE jealous. Lady Margaery is a beautiful woman and you deserve one ano9ther. Shit._

 _That came out bloody awful, didn't it? I must sound like an absolute bitch. I used you-and tossed you aside- The cold of the North, these last few months, have given me time to think._

 _Maybe I was wrong._

 _No, I am wrong._

 _I miss you-_

* * *

 _(Meanwhile, in the North...)_

* * *

"What've you got there?"

 _"Nothing!"_

Eleanor yelped and hastily crumpled the parchment in her fist just in time; not a moment later _Ramsay Bolton_ came tromping back into camp, a brace of fresh rabbits slung over his shoulder. He deposited them roughly at her feet and took one for himself. Eleanor didn't have the heart to watch him work chilled as she was; winter was coming, and the cold seemed to bite right through her fur cloak. The wind wasn't the only thing biting tonight either, if the wolven cries in the distance were any indication.

"That wouldn't happen to be a love letter by any chance, would it?"

Just like that, the shield maiden found herself dragged back.

Without thinking, she hurled her message into the flame. Her heart gave a small cry of protest. Too little too late; she could only watch helplessly as her own words curled and blackened amidst the fires, darkening to so much ash beneath the withering heat of the flame.

"As I said, its nothing. You needn't concern yourself."

"It certainly _looked_ like something." Ramsay said.

"Must you keep pressing this, so?!"

Silence loomed between them.

"I think I've finally figured you out." he said abruptly.

Irritated, she growled.

 _"What?"_

"You're a talker." the heir to the Dreadfort continued, still skinning the hare, "A _much_ better talker than Theon Greyjoy, at that. I had to peel a few bits off him before he started talking. But you?" The knife waved up at her as he continued his work, chuckling. "I didn't even have to _touch_ you to figure you out. Not that I would, of course." he amended at her burning glare, "I know another man's leaving's when I see them. It's quite clear you're still...what's the word?" he paused, considering. "Besotted with him, shall we say."

Eleanor's blood turned to ice in her very veins.

"I don't care one wit about that idiot."

Ramsay looked at her for a long, excruciating moment. Then he barked out a laugh. "I think we both know _that's_ a lie."

Eleanor turned her gaze back to the fire.

"Do you?"

"I do."

"And you think you know him."

"I certainly do."

Eleanor bristled. "You know nothing."

She wasn't expecting him to laugh in her face.

"Do I look like Jon Snow to you? No? I didn't think so. Tell me, do you like stories, Eleanor?"

He must've interpreted her silence as a yes, for the Bolton began weaving his tale right then and there.

"When he was younger, his father sent him and his sister to be fostered in the North, for a time. I didn't know him them. Neither did the North. Stannis preferred it that way." his dark eyes took on a distant look, as if he were remembering events long since forgotten. "The next day, I watched him hurl a man from the top of the Dreadfort, without flinching. Another time, he broke near every bone in a man's body and fed him to my father's hounds. Exciting, I know! But the best part by far?" At her startled exclamation he continued, "He did it in full view of everyone."

"He wouldn't-

"Tsk, tsk, tsk!" Ramsay chided her. "I haven't finished!"

"He turned to me then, while the dogs were still busy munching on the man's bits. But he didn't say anything. He just _looked_ at me. Right through me. Like I wasn't even there. I thought to myself, there's a man you _don't_ want as an enemy. So I endeavored to become his friend, instead. It wasn't hard. We shared similar interests, after all. He just felt ashamed of them at first, that was all. But do you know _why_ he killed those men? What his reasons were?"

Eleanor shook his head.

"The first made the mistake of insulting his little sister." Ramsay's gleeful tone dropped, adopting a more somber note, "The second, ah, he had more physical intentions in mind. Of course, he didn't know they were the children of a lord, but more the fool him, then, for making the attempt."

An angry red fist gripped her heart.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"So you understand." The Bolton answered. "You can't love the man without loving the monster. Because no matter how much he might try to hide it, he IS a monster. Not like me, oh no, he's _far_ worse. My dear old friend would butcher all of King's Landing if he thought it would keep beloved family safe. No, no matter how much he wishes it were otherwise, how much _you_ might want to deny it, he is a killer. But that's why you left him, wasn't it? You couldn't handle the truth, and know you feel regret. How...quaint. Now, that Tyrell, what was her name...Margaery. Ah. I suspect she has no such reservations. Certainly not someone like Daenerys Stormborn-

Something twisted inside of Eleanor then, a black pearl of anger springing out of the locked door that was her heart.

Snarling, she leaped to her feet and drew her blade!

"How dare you!"

She didn't make it very far.

No sooner had she thought to move the sword from its sheathe than a black blur slammed into her from behind, smashing her into the dirt. A furious growl snarled against her ear.

"I could, of course, have you killed for this." Ramsay remarked quietly over the baying of his hounds, unflinching in the face of her implicit threat. "My dogs aren't exactly hungry right now, but I'm sure they'd make do, don't you think. That would be _much_ easier. I'd be doing the prince a favor. But he'd never forgive me for it. And if you were to "disappear," I'd follow soon after. So no, I don't think I'll be taking you up on your suicidal request."

"You won't?" to her surprise the weight fell away, and she was allowed to climb to her feet.

"No, I won't." Ramsay replied. "But I _am_ going to give you some advice. If you think this romantic adventure of yours has a happy ending, you haven't been paying much attention. You've a choice to make. Be there for him, ALL of him, or let him go. If you don't, your weakness will get him killed. And that's one thing I won't abide by."

With that, he turned his attention back to his hounds and seemed to forgot she even existed.

Despite herself, the shield-maiden shuddered anew.

Ramsay Bolton.

The one-time-bastard claimed he was on Naruto's side, but Eleanor didn't trust him. There was just something...wrong about that one. Even the honorable Robb Stark had spoken little of him before he'd sent her off with him. Enemies made for strange bedfellows certainly, but she was beginning to think Bolton's boy wasn't...well, sane. Just the other day he'd flayed a pair of Lannister scouts near Harrenahl for daring to bar their passage. They hadn't lasted long under the knife. At least now they had a new bearing by which to search.

It wouldn't be long now.

Once she brought the Stark girl back to Winterfell...

...what would she do, exactly? Join Robb in his hunt for Bran and Rickon? No, she decided. She would go South. South, to King's Landing, where she would throw herself at Naruto's feet and beg for forgiveness. Just the thought of it was galling-not the act of debasing herself before a man, not one she cared for so dearly-but how she had erred, tossed him aside and fled at the first sign of danger. He wouldn't be happy with her. Hadn't she been the one to wound him with her words, her acts, her deeds? Lacking even the nerve to admit it to his face?

And now that he'd been betrothed, now that he had other women in his life, her heart had the _nerve_ to be jealous? For what? That he'd moved on? Found someone else?

She had been a fool.

It only remained to be seen how Naruto would react when she finally admitted it to him.

At best, he might forgive her. At worst...

...she didn't want to think about what might happen.

* * *

 _(Days Later, in King's Landing...)_

* * *

A small eternity later, and Naruto was doing his absolute best to avoid his lord father until he recovered.

It was for this reason, and this reason alone that the Son of the Stag found himself slumming the streets of Flea Bottom, in full armor, captive princess in tow. He couldn't trust her to the Red Keep by herself, not with the guards being mostly Baratheon and the sheer amount of ill-will amongst his father's men. He couldn't risk her coming to harm. No matter that it might solve his problems-no matter how easy it would be-he simply couldn't bring himself to callously kill someone who'd been caught in Littlefinger's net.

Now despite Baelish's blunder-or was it?-Naruto knew he hadn't explicitly been banished from the keep. He would be allowed to return in but in the same vein he knew he wasn't on his father's good side, either. And why should he be?

For the last dragon to arrive almost _immediately_ after her threatened the king...well, it didn't look good. Daenerys Targaryen presented a unique problem- and opportunity, Littlefinger argued, if one was willing to risk it. Solidarity, after all. It was hard to see the wisdom in it...unless there was no wisdom. Was that it, then? Was this all part of his plan? Bring the Last Targaryen into King's Landing then stand back and watch as the world ripped itself over who deserved the Iron Throne?

If so, he was doing a splendid job of it.

But no, Baelish _insisted_ that his loyalties lie ever with the Baratheons, and for the time being, Naruto was inclined to trust him. Well, not _trust._ More like watch very closely and stab-to-death at the first sign of disloyalty whatsoever. Eddard Stark had made that mistake, honorable though he was, and the prince had no intention of meeting the same fate. Especially when Littlefinger wanted him to marry. Again.

To say that Naruto disagreed would've been an understatement.

Margaery was bad enough. He didn't think he could handle the last daughter of the dragon. Two wives. The thought made him shudder. Was that even _allowed?_

No, on second thought, he didn't want to know!

Damnit, why couldn't Daenerys have stayed on the other side of the sea where she belonged?!

* * *

 _(...)_

* * *

"Spare some silver, m'lord?"

"Here. Have the whole damn thing."

"Bless you, m'lord!"

When Naruto paused to drop yet another pouch of coin into yet _another_ peasant's hand, Daenerys felt as if her sanity were dropping with it. It wasn't the poor-her heart went out to them-it was the prince's maddening refusal to speak so much as a word to her in the last two hours! Once more the caravan of armored soldiers came to a grinding halt around them. _Once more_ that damn guard nearly bowled her over, his elbow sending her all but sprawling against a cracked wall. The impudent fool even dared to _leer_ and poke her at her with the butt of his sword as though he hadn't done it before!

It wasn't hard to guess at the reason for his gaze.

"Keep moving, _khaleesi."_ he laughed, the words dripped derision; the very mockery of which made her blood boil.

 _Dracarys._

One word would turn that throaty laugh into a shriek of pain. Dany nearly snapped at him outright, pausing only when she remembered the sheathed swords at her back. Drogon held no such reservations; his indignant squeak spoke volumes from where he perched upon her shoulder.

 _Dracarys._

It danced at the tip of her tongue, leashed only by the knowledge that she'd be cut down long before she could escape. Still, would it not be better to try? Anything was better than being paraded about like some doll in the custody of her enemies, forced to obey their every whim, their every fancy-

"Bram," Naruto's voice cut into her thoughts like a knife, "A _khaleesi_ is a sort of queen, is she not?"

Her tormentor paused. "I...I suppose so my lord."

"Then as a queen, former or no, you will speak to her with respect. Apologize."

"But your Grace, she is...!"

"A what?" Naruto challenged, still not looking at the unfortunate guardsman. "A Targaryen? A wench? A woman? A threat? Yours to torment as you please? Do continue, man. Keep digging that hole."

"Your father-

"Whipped me for doing the right thing." the whiskered warrior turned slowly, and for a moment, just a moment, those sea-blue eyes seemed to gleam red in the sun's light with the promise of blood. So too did the stern reply of their owner. " _Fuck_ my father. Daenerys Targaryen is a guest of the court on my order and if one more fuckin' word against _my guest_ comes pouring out of your cunt mouth, I'm going to knock you senseless and send ya back to the barracks without supper."

"She is the enem-

Naruto spun and cuffed the man on the jaw before he could utter so much as another word. He dropped like a sack of potatoes, cloak flaring out behind him in a ruby red curtain. Despite herself, Daenerys started, but none among the guard batted an eye.

It seemed _their_ loyalty was unbought, at least.

"And _I_ am your prince." Naruto remarked, snarling at her tormentor's prone form. "I'd have expected you to learn by now. Emyhr. Thomas." the price waved and indicated two men, "Kindly escort Bram here back to his quarters. He is not to leave until the sun rises on the morrow. Let him cool his head there for an evening. Perhaps he'll change his tune come morning."

As the pair carried their insensate companion off, Daenerys caught Naruto's gaze. If he'd expected to impress her with that little display, he was going to be disappointed.

"Must you interfere in everything?" she asked, eyes blazing.

"You would've roasted that man alive and been gutted for it before you could blink. No, I think my way was best. Don't worry," He winked impishly. "You can burn whomever you like later. Come along now, Dany. We're going to be late!

 _Dany?_

"Where are we going?"

Naruto laughed.

"You'll see."

Without another word the column of guards moved on, forcing her forward once more.

Naruto's curious act of chivalry aside, the city's reaction was almost cautiously positive-better than she could have hoped for by far _._

Peasants stopped and stared at her, but few dared to so much as approach her. Not without a good reason, she supposed. Setting aside the fear of being struck down by the prince's guards, most looked to be in quiet awe of the last Targaryen-stricken by her quiet beauty and intense gaze After all, she wasn't nearly the same girl who'd nearly drowned at the dock. Her rags had been stripped away and replaced with a fine dress of white-blue silk, contrasting her smooth silver hair and violet eyes perfectly. In that aspect at least, she supposed she must look quite striking to them.

As did the small black dragon perched on her shoulder.

Drogon, while a good deal larger than his brothers, Viserion and Rhaegal, did not seem to share in his sibling's childlike delight when it came to crowds. Whereas his siblings had proved curious to their new surroundings and somewhat amiable to their cages, their dark-scaled counterpart hadn't taken captivity kindly. So here he was, perched upon her shoulder, doing his damndest to look intimidating before their captors. Hungry, too. It had been a long morning, and she hadn't yet had a chance to feed him. Daenerys gave him a tiny bit of meat from her pouch to satiate his hunger and her offspring snatched it up with a bit more ferocity than was necessary.

Naruto arched an eyebrow at the display of dominance, and the single gesture conveyed more than words ever could.

Perhaps he knew Drogon loathed him.

The little beast _hated_ him.

A shame.

Drogon didn't like the guards, either, because they kept _looking_ at him. He could sense their fear. Another reason to suspect that the little guy wasn't good with people. Much less a dozen armed men and women. Which meant imprisonment wasn't a long term option, given how quickly dragons grew. They'd have to be given freedom to range, somehow. Something to remember, at any rate.

Even so, Naruto kept his hand on his sword just in case.

One dragon was certainly a tempting target for the poorest of thieves, but three? Three would prove irresistible. As such, his brothers were under strict personal guard back at his quarters, protected by those he trusted. Jorah Mormont...was not among that number. For all his supposed loyalty, Naruto couldn't bring himself to trust a man who would so easily turn his coat. He had been tasked with spying on Danerys, only to switch sides when her life was threatened...and then the truth of what he'd been doing had come out. Daenerys hadn't been pleased. Now that he was finally back in Westeros and the truth was out who knew where his true loyalties lay? No, he would stay locked away with the dragons, for his own safety. Provided the dragons didn't roast him.

As if sensing that very thought, Drogon hissed at him.

Naruto hissed right back.

"Just try it, scales!"

Dany rolled her eyes.

"Men!"

Minutes passed in relative silence as they walked on, herded by the prince's retinue. More than once Naruto stopped to speak to some misbegotten urchin or beggar, offering them kind words or what gold he had on him at an opportunity. Daenerys watched him closely, scrutinizng his every move. For all his bark and bite the prince truly seemed to have a soft spot for the city's poor. He gave of his wealth richly, freely, asked for nothing in return, and moved on. More than a few cast curious glances her way, but apparently the loud clink of golden dragons was enough to deter their curiosity for the time being.

He even seemed sincere.

It finally proved enough to loosen her tongue.

"Why do you give so freely?" she asked.

"You wouldn't do the same?"

"Of course I would!"

"I feel bad for them." he admitted, sighing into the silence. "And I've loot to spare after all the shit I've done. May as well put it to good use."

"How?" from her limited understanding, the crown was in severe debt to the Iron Bank.

"Fleeced the crap out of the Lannisters before I offed 'em." Naruto snickered softly, then openly when her baffled stare persisted. "Then I visited the Ironborn. Balon had the shiniest trinkets hidden away." he wiggled a gloved hand, smiling. "Also, I may or may not have sticky fingers when it comes to shiny things. You'd be _amazed_ how well gold-and-silver-encrusted crap sell these days. And what of it?" A spark of irritation danced in Naruto's eyes, hot and angry, almost as if he were speaking to another. "Better for it to go to the poor than stuck-up nobles who fritter it away on jewels and whores."

Her jaw locked, the protest stilling on her tongue.

When they finally reached their destination, the last Targaryen found herself drew up short. She didn't recognize the establishment with its stout appearance and light walls, but she _did_ recognize the manner of men and women lounging against the walls, their provocative poses, tight clothing leaving little to the imagination.

"A brothel."

"Yup." Naruto stepped past her without so much as a backwards glance.

"You've brought me to a brothel." Dany repeated, crossing her arms.

"Its not what you think." he insisted, holding the door open for her. "We're meeting someone here. Several someones, actually."

The smallest flicker of defiance ignited deep within her breast at his tone, but she held her tongue and allowed herself to escorted inside. Once within it was no small matter to ignore the events transpiring around them; it was all she could do to ignore them _and_ keep Drogon calm. Easier said than done, as the constant wash of smells and sounds had him squirming in her arms.

"Why a brothel?" she murmured aloud.

"Misdirection." Naruto grinned merrily, stepping around a velvet cushion, "Everyone expects a brothel when they're fishing for information." She averted her gaze as they edged around a rather curvaceous woman clad in little more than transparent silks, "Naturally, they'd think we'd _avoid_ such an establishment. So no one expects us to _meet_ atone. And if someone does try to confront us, well, I'd like that, too."

...that makes no sense."

 _"Precisely!"_ with that, he drew a dark red curtain aside and together, they stepped through. Ulric followed them, the great goliath blackly muttering something about the drapery. Two of their entourage peeled away to parts unknown, while the rest lingered just beyond the door, uncertain.

"That'll be all, boys." Naruto called back through the veil, flinging a pouch of coin in his wake, nimbly caught by one spry among them. "Take the rest of the afternoon off, on me!" That being said, he spun back through the arch and marched across the threshold, a light spring in his step. It didn't take Daenerys long to realize why.

An unlikely pair waited them within, seated at a large table with three chairs vacant.

A eunuch and a dwarf, of all things!

Daenerys recognized neither of them of course; no, wait. She told a lie. She _had_ met the bald one in passing, but she didn't exactly know him at a glance. Yet the short one raised a glass in the prince's direction and the man returned it with a smile as he moved to their table. Ah. It seemed he knew them after all. Ulric prodded her forwards; but gently, mindful of his prince's earlier admonishments. Drogon snarled, and she calmed him with a light touch to his crest and followed her host.

"Ah, there you are!" the dwarf cried. "Come, have a drink with us!"

"I...don't think that's a good idea." Naruto was saying as she drew near.

"And why not?"

"Drinking makes me angry...

"And?"

...you wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Besides, where's Littlefinger?"

"He claimed business elsewhere." Varys sighed. "Pity."

"I'm sure he did, Varys." Naruto growled. "I'm tempted to take his "little" finger and more besides!"

"All in good time, sire." the Spider reassured him.

By then she had drawn near enough to be gain their notice. Lord Varys-for she was now certain that this was indeed the infamous Spider-merely inclined his head politely and stood to pull out a chair for her. The dwarf's reaction soon proved more spectacular. When he saw her, Tyrion sucked in a sharp breath and gawped at her, goggle-eyed. He continued to stare as she slipped into the seat.

More aptly, he stared at _Drogon._

His mouth worked wordlessly for a few moments, as though he were trying to find the words. Finally, Naruto nudged him with an elbow and the Lannister seemed to recover himself.

"It is an honor to finally meet you, my lady." he began slowly. "I've heard a great deal about you."

"She's a lot less intimidating in person." Naruto snorted.

Daenerys nodded and schooled herself into silence, lest she say something she might regret.

Inevitably, the dwarf's gaze was drawn back to Drogon.

"May I?"

There was something childlike in his wonder, something that softened her heart. In the end, the Mother of Dragons relented and eased the dragon onto the table. Freed from her arms, the young dragon immediately claimed a place right in the center, craning his head about before settling on the imp in question.

Slowly, hesitantly, Tyrion reached forward.

Against her will, the faintest of smiles drew at Dany's lips; wonderment and awe, now this was something she understood. Drogon preened happily, no doubt fiercely proud of the attentive awe the dwarf was paying him. He didn't resist in the slightest when the Hand of the King stroked his crest, dared to run a palm across his leathery little wing.

The dragon trilled in content.

"When I was a child," Tyrion murmured softly, "An uncle asked what gift I wanted for my name day. I begged him for one of you." As if in an answer, Drogon tilted his long neck, allowing the Lannister to scratch his chin, "Wouldn't even have to be a big dragon, I told him. It could be little, like me. Everyone laughed like it was the funniest thing they'd ever heard. My father told me the last dragon had died a century ago. I cried myself to sleep that night. But here you are."

"Careful," Naruto warned as he took a drink, "He bites."

"Only imbeciles." Dany declared proudly.

Drogon chirped in agreement.

"Hey!"

"How are you wounds, my lord?" Varys asked, restraining a smile at the sight. "You seem to be faring better than yesterday."

Dany's smile shattered like glass.

"They itch now and then." Naruto reluctantly admitted, pawing at the back of his neck. "Still worth it if you ask me. But did the old man have to whip me for it?"

"You _did_ bring her into the court." Tyrion pointed out, finally taking his eyes off Drogon. "Not a wise move, that."

"And what pray tell, should I have done, eh? What, exactly?" the scarred assassin answered before downing another glass with vigor, "Throw her in the sea for the sharks? We're men not animals. Besides, I told you that was Littlefinger's doing. Not mine. Seems he took me literally when I asked him for the last dragons and all the gold in Braavos. HA!" he guffawed when Drogon nipped at his little finger. "You and me both, little guy! You'd think the bloody fool would know the difference between sarcasm and sense by now!"

Despite herself, Daenerys flushed. No! Stop! She schooled her face into a mask of impassivity. She would not be taken for a fool! All this charity and kindness, it was an illusion. A facade. A farce. It must be. The very idea that a complete stranger would go so far for her was...it was sheer anathema to her. No one had shown her kindness like this before. No one had accepted a whipping for her. None had stepped between her and the noose without asking for anything in return.

"Suppose I believe you, for a moment." she ventured slowly, warily, catching his eye. "Did you really not have a hand in this?"

"What, conspire to bring you here? Nope." The whiskered prince flashed a small, rueful smile. "We have our resident schemer to thank for that. I'll have to ask him why he did it once I put him on the rack. One bastard to another.

"Are you really...?"

"A bastard? Just about." Naruto confessed with a shrug. He saw no point in keeping it from her as it was. "In every sense of the word. Naturalized and elevated above my stations. But enough about me, I brought you here so we could talk about you. What are your plans? What do you intend to do?"

Indignation flashed through her at the word. Plans? She had but one.

"I will have justice." she declared.

Varys frowned thoughtfully.

"Against who, might I ask?"

Daenerys felt herself frown. Did they not understand?

"Against those who wronged me, of course."

"I'm afraid you won't find much in the way of satisfaction there." Tyrion lamented, draining his mug. "Robert Baratheon's long dead. His sons as well. The Kingslayer, my dear brother mind you, languishes in the Black Cells alongside my dearest sister. If you've come here to kill Stannis in his stead, you might be disappointed. To kill him," That very same glass tilted in Naruto's direction, "You'll have to go through this one first-trust me when I say you would have better luck convincing me to give up wine."

"And why is that?"

Naruto groaned.

"Must we list _my_ exploits now?"

"Trust me my dear," Now it was the turn of Varys to interject, "Some things are better left unsaid. You'd be wise to let this vendetta go."

"When the time comes," Daenerys replied, bristling at the patronizing tone, "I will take back what is mine with fire and blood."

Naruto scoffed. "A bit late for that, innit? We already _took_ King's Landing. Don't be rude. Better to be friends now then enemies later, right? Look, I'll be honest. I really, really, REALLY don't want to kill you. This was to be your home once, ya know? At least it was supposed to be before that shit with the Mad King. Bottom line-you have as much right to be here as anyone else, in the Red Keep, even. So whaddya say we let bygones be bygones and stop snapping at one another like rabid dogs?" He offered her his hand, beaming. "Truce?"

Put off by his affable nature nevertheless, Daenerys couldn't bring herself to refuse. If this was a ruse of some sort, a guise to get her to let her guard down, it was an elaborate one. She just didn'

...I accept your terms." She conceded. "For now."

"Good enough! To the Last Targaryen!" Naruto cried, raising his glass in a toast.

Tyrion and Varys echoed him a moment later.

"Long may she live!"

So intent were they on their little celebration that none seemed to notice Daenerys did. Registering as little more than a blot of brown and cloth in her peripheral she saw it all the same. So did Drogon, bristling beneath Tyrion's hand with a furious hiss. At that Tyrion turned, followed by Varys and finally, Naruto himself.

"Bugger," the latter muttered.

Numbering seven in all, they were a ragged yet oddly uniform-looking bunch. Some were bald, others shaved, some even carried makeshift weapons in hand. All wore the rough-sack clothe of beggars, however, and every one looked to be rather displeased, moreso as they advanced on their little gathering. Whether they were cross with her or someone else remained to be seen. Sure enough, Ulric straightened in the corner, but remained otherwise silent when his commander cast him a glance and stood.

"I'm afraid this is a private party, gents." Naruto made a dismissive gesture with his off hand. "To what do we owe the courtesy?"

Their leader, a man distinguished by a scar running the length of his right eye.

"The High Sparrow requests your presence."

"Does he now~?" Naruto blinked, tilting his head to the right like a curious fox. "I've heard all sorts of things about the old bird these last few days and now he wants to meet...me? I'm flattered, really. What might the reason be?" Daenerys froze as the scent of spirits hit her dead in the face. Seven Stars. How much had he to drink?! This wasn't going to end well...

"We will take the lady as well." Daenerys started as she came back to herself. Her?! The nerve of these-

Naruto frowned.

"And what does he plan to do with _us?"_

"Your father has profaned our faith; the faith of our fathers and forefathers." one of the robed men intoned gravely. "He is a sinner. You are a sinner. _You_ shall be punished."

Naruto's smile thinned

"You didn't answer the rest of my question."

"That is not of your concern."

Naruto and Tyrion exchanged a glance. The former smiled.

"Whoever do you think he's talking about?" he whispered conspiratorially, "We both have rather nasty fathers, don't we?"

Tyrion polished off his mug, considering.

 _"My_ father...hmm. I suppose you have a point. Well then, gentlemen? Who _are_ you here for?"

The men dithered, momentarily flummoxed by this turn of pace.

"As I said, we are here for-

That moment of confusion was all they needed.

 _"Orah!"_

Naruto took hold of the table's edge and upended it with a delighted shout, sending mugs, ale, and a _very_ angry Drogon flying into the air, even as Tyrion and Varys shrank back to the wall. The nearest Sparrow soon learned precisely why one must never, _ever_ anger a dragon. Alas, he didn't live long enough to realize his mistake, nor would he ever be able to.

A face full of napalm tends to remedy that.

The rest of his brethren, though wary of Drogon, alas, proved even more foolish than their brother in their pursuit of the prince.

Daenerys felt a small surge of pride for him, then.

Naruto retreated nimbly backward over the wrecked table as a Sparrow struck at him, bladed club passing through empty air. But when the rest moved to follow him, Ulric was simply there, interposing himself between the prince and the leader of the brigands, arms loose at his sides. Silent fury. That was all Daenerys could think to describe him as his bearded visage fixed upon the robed men, dark eyes inscrutable. He was no Gregor Clegane certainly, but in that moment even the dreaded Mountain himself would've been hard-pressed to match the menace this man exuded in his dark shadow plate. He didn't move-nay, he had no need to-but the Sparrows halted as though they'd run into a wall of living steel.

The leader of the band turned a stern glance upon Naruto, his lips pursed in a thin line.

"Order your man to step aside, Ser, or there will be more violence."

The prince arched an eyebrow.

"You barge into our little celebration unannounced, threaten me and my guests, and intend to make off with my lady." his smile faded, lips pulling back to expose white teeth in a snarl. "Do you know what I choose?"

In the end, his reply didn't surprise Daenerys Stormborn. Not in the least.

 _"I choose violence."_

Ulric was very fast; near blindingly so for a man of his size. In the time that it took the nearest Sparrows to swing his weapon, the poor fellow had already sealed his fate. He simply didn't know it yet. His cudgel glanced off the polished breastplate with a hollow clang that left his arms trembling. Fine armor, that. Startled, the Sparrow made another attempt, only to find a massive hand wrapped around his throat. Ulric hoisted him aloft with ease, as if he weighed no more than a child, strangling the life from him until the man's entire body shook, the club clattering out of his grasp to the floor.

But it didn't end there.

With a uninterested grunt, the stoic Umber hurled his unfortunate victim to the ground and stalked after him. The sparrow had just enough time for one last, strangled grasp, before strong fingers found purchase on his face and slammed his skull into the floor, securing themselves under his chin like thick, meaty fishooks. Then Ulric pulled.

Once.

 _Twice._

 **Thrice.**

 _Riiiiiiiiiip!_

On the final tug the man's head came free with a wet pop, neck and all, snapped at the base of his spine. Ulric stared at his prize for a moment, as it contemplating it. Thus satisfied, he let the body fall, twitching to the ground, uncaring for the spreading stain in the carpet. A flick of his wrist sent the severed head twirling to land at the Sparrow's feet. Of their once supreme confidence there was nothing to be seen. Yet still they did not depart, whether from fear or something else, she knew not.

Naruto wasn't having it.

"What was the word again...oh. Right. _Dracarys,_ motherfucker!"

To her surprise, Drogon answered the call and inhaled deeply.

"No, wait-

That was all the lead Sparrow managed before his world erupted into flame.

The denizens of Littlefinger's brothel would come to name the catastrophe as the Day of Fire, for the shrieks that rose from that room would etch themselves into the minds of many. Rumors and tales would spread from the incident and become wildly exaggerated. Tales of witchcraft and magic and all manner of ghastly things, cementing a fear of the Stag and his so-called Son for generations to come. In the end of the Sparrows, there was only a single survivor; a half-singed man who'd retained enough sense to smother the flames with a carpet.

Remarkably, Naruto didn't kill him.

Instead he knelt before the quaking soul and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Please tell the High Sparrow that he's welcome to visit me whenever he likes." he spoke kindly, "In the Red Keep. _Personally."_

Daenerys watched the man skitter away and duck outside, restraining a smile of her own.

"Unexpected."

"The High Valyrian or letting the poor bastard live."

"Both."

Naruto clicked his tongue as Drogon clambered back onto her shoulder.

"Like I said. I enjoy learning languages. You'd be surprised at all the colorful curses one can say in High Valyrian. As to the Sparrow," he cast a glance back to the scorched remains of the man's compatriots, "Consider it a warning for our dear High Sparrow. He made his move, and I made my counter-move. Now its his turn."

Varys coughed quietly.

"Now that you've had your fun, perhaps we should return to the keep? It would not do for us to be connected with this...incident."

Tyrion sighed quietly.

"The King won't like this.

"Fuck the King." Naruto spat. "If the High Sparrow wants to raise a ruckus again, I'll be sure to remind him that I've _been feeding half this city out of my own damn pocket._ That should quiet him."

"Shall we go, then?"

Naruto beamed.

"We shall."

With that, he offered Daenerys his elbow and to her surprise, she found herself accepting, hooking her arm within his.

Perhaps, given time, she could make use of this Baratheon bastard for her own means.

* * *

 _(...)_

* * *

The scales were tipping once again.

Margaery Tyrell knew this, yet try as she might, she couldn't find a way to tip them back in her favor.

She was a master of playing the great Game-and a long one at that-but even she could see that this threatened disaster.

It had begun so long ago with Renly's death at the hand of some shadowy assassin, followed shortly by news Stannis's impending assault of King's Landing. For a time it had seemed that they would ally with Lannister's and drive them and the Starks back into the sea. Then, miracle of miracles, Father renounced his loyalty to Tywin and joined Stannis instead. The siege swiftly silenced with a Lannister defeat, the king slain and all of the . None had expected it, but there it was.

The scales had tipped then, just as they were tipping now.

Some time ago the Queen had taken to her bed from an unknown illness, wasting away to nothingness at an alarming pace. The Maester's spoke of disease, but others claimed poision, poison meant for the King's cup. She'd quietly passed away yesterday, perishing in her sleep. Few knew of the tragedy-fewer dared to speak of it in the King's presence. Stannis had gone into mourning, worse; he had forsworn all comforts and openly declared the unthinkable; he would not remarry, now, or ever again.

And why should he?

He already had an heir.

Thus, the eventual burden of ruling fell to Naruto.

An heir whose father had brutally flogged him only a fortnight ago for allowing a lone girl to return to the the one place she should never be. An heir who had just set half-a dozen men aflame for trying to kidnap him. A man she could barely understand, much less hope to control. She hadn't a clue who this High Sparrow was or what he and his followers had done to irk the prince and she didn't much care. But clearly they must've done something; because he'd come back from Flea Bottom smug and smelling of smoke and wine with that infernal Targaryen girl in tow.

She'd thought herself secure; if she was to marry the prince, then it stood to reason that she would become queen. There was no one else to catch his eye, then. She'd been quite confident in her charms, her wiles, her beauty and the skills that came with it. It was a confidence borne not out of arrogance she told herself, but knowledge. The knowledge that no man could say no to her.

Now she found even that threatened.

 _"Charm the young man,"_ grandmother had told her, _"Appeal to his dignity. And if he lacks that, lust."_

But Naruto was no Joffrey-or even Tommen-easily manipulated by such base whims. It had taken every ounce of whit and charm she'd possessed just to goad him to bed.

She was under no illusion that she controlled Naruto, for to control him was to put reins on the wind itself. Impossible. At best she could steer him in a given direction and even then, not for very long. She'd caught him in a moment of weakness, nothing more. That moment of 'weakness' had left her sore and unable to walk properly for several days. Not in an unpleasant way, mind you; the prince had proven himself a very capable lover beneath the sheets. She had even come to care for him, in a way, for he was just as broken as she. Did she love him? She might learn to do so, given time.

But Naruto clearly saw something in this Targaryen and try as she might to ignore it...the idea of being ignored...it galled her.

Daenerys had no army, no nation, nothing to offer them.

But she _did_ have her dragons. Those alone were a powerful bargaining chip; enough to guarantee her safety, perhaps? Anyone could see the terrors they'd become, given time. Margaery respected that move. Better to have the last dragons with them, rather than against. What she did _not_ respect was the need for their _mother_ , and the implicit threat she presented to her rule.

She didn't want to just be queen. She wanted to be _the_ queen. And she couldn't rightly do so with that loose end lying about.

Or could she...?

Daenerys Targaryen.

She'd might just have answer for her, after all.

Little did she know that her problems were only just beginning...

* * *

 _(...)_

* * *

Word was eventually sent to Dorne in form of a gracious invitation and a reply returned hot on its heels some days afterward.

 _"We would be honored to meet him."_

In the end, Stannis was left to mull precisely what the vague words implied. Meet whom? Him? His son? Or perhaps the Mountain himself? Qyburn had proved instrumental in keeping that beast restrained-it helped that he lacked such scruples-yet there were precious few beyond himself and his son who could hope to subdue such a beast without the drugs in his system. And as Father and Son became increasingly preoccupied with the task of managing a flagging kingdom-the latter taking great pangs to avoid him altogether-the likelihood of this became more and more unlikely.

Other thoughts dwelled as well, dark thoughts heavier than the weight of the Iron Throne and the responsibilities that came with it.

Matters he regretted deeply.

At times he wondered if he'd been too hard on the boy that day; if he'd made a mistake in punishing him for sheltering the Targaryen girl. Naruto had always been one to stand by his morals-grey though they might be at times-and there had always been a bit of a gap between them in that regard. Stannis saw things one way. Black and White. His bastard son, the other. But he was his _son_ and he'd _hurt_ him, perhaps for the first time in his life. He'd hurt Shireen too, by doing it. She still wouldn't speak to him.

Naruto seldom did either, when he did it was often terse and curt.

Why didn't they understand? He'd done it for the man's own good. To teach him a lesson. To remind him that the world couldn't be gray, not when you were king. Part of him hoped he'd understand that lesson.

Now something was different.

He'd seen it in his eyes.

The boy was angry.

Something had hardened in him since that fateful day and Stannis wasn't entirely certain he liked what he saw. The situation made all the more tenuous thanks to his vow. Selyse's death still shook him to this very day, a black cloud that hung over his thoughts whenever he was wary, a fog difficult to lift. Poison. It should have been him. She'd drank from his cup and paid the price. He would subject no other to that risk, so long as he could help it; had no intention of marrying again unless it was absolutely necessary. Perhaps Lady Melisandre...

No, that was madness. What was he _thinking?_

Regardless of his thoughts, this matter with the Mountain would be settled one way or another.

The brute would go to Dorne in a bloody box if that was what it took!

A hundred Dornish men arrived no less than a week later, with Prince Oberyn at their head. Their presence was unannounced and thus caught King's Landing by surprise, if only for the volume number of men. They took up residence in the royal quarters and awaited an audience with the crown Prince at the first opportunity. Naruto, Not him. Under any other circumstance Stannis would've been displeased by such a blattant rebuttal but he knew in his heart that he simply didn't possess the spirit of a negotiator. He believed in black and white. There was seldom a gray.

Naruto on the other hand...the boy thrived in grays. He liked to imagine that the poor boy would be perfectly at home amongst the wild-blooded folk, loathe as he might be to admit it.

His son might be half-mad, but he knew how to play peacekeeper when it suited him.

Didn't mean he was going to like it, though...

* * *

(...)

* * *

"This is a bad idea."

"Nonsense!" Tyrion declared winningly as the sound of boots drew closer along the hall, "You'll do just fine."

Fine, was a relative term of course, speaking-the Hand of the King expected this to be an absolute catastrophe. How Stannis honestly expected them to greet the Dorne contingent like this he had no idea; in his mind it was disaster waiting to happen and soon, if Naruto had anything to say about it. Needless to say, the prince was not pleased with his outfit of choice.

Not a bit.

"I feel like a fleeced idiot with his dick hanging out." Naruto growled crassly, adjusting his absurdly bright doublet for what felt like the umpteenth time. His sole solace was that it was his favorite color; orange, and even that did little to soothe his temper. "How do people _fight_ in these, let alone breathe?! I can barely move my arms!" He fluttered the tight, velvety sleeves for emphasis, straining at the stitches. "See?! How can I dodge a knife in this getup?! How, I ask you?!"

"You can't."

"Well someone should change that!" the prince groused, crossing his arms. "Ah, shit! I think I just tore something. Fuck!"

Bronn guffawed. "See? This is why I don't dress up."

Ulric boomed a laugh of his own behind his helm. "Prefer armor, myself. Sturdier."

"See," the sellsword argued,"I'd agree with you there, but all that plate, tsk! Too heavy! Leather is better, lighter, lets you move around-

-and get skewered up the ass." Ulfric replied flatly.

"Not if you're quick about it."

"Speaking from experience, are we?"

"Easy there, big guy!"

Tyrion suppressed a groan.

Hopeless, the lot of them!

"Smiles, now, everyone." the Hand of the King reminded him. "And do try to behave. We wouldn't want to start a war."

Naruto muttered something unflattering in Dothraki.

 _"That means you!"_

The prince hissed through clenched teeth, but otherwise held his tongue as the door swung open to admit their guests.

Prince Oberyn was not an ugly man by any measure; indeed, he was quite handsome, exceedingly. Flanked by a pair of Dornishmen, he strode into the room as though he owned it. He paid no attention for the guard or even Tyrion himself, all ignored without so much as a passing glance. He had eyes only for one. A roguish grin flashed across his face the moment he caught sight of Naruto, chafing as he was in the doublet. Three swift strides carried him across the room and, before anyone could react, he spread his arms wide and embraced the man as though he were a long lost brother.

 _"Urk!"_

"Ah, and here you are at last~!" laughing, he clapped his fellow prince on the back once more and released him. "The hero of the hour! Champion of Dorne!"

Everyone blinked, Naruto included.

"Erm...what?"

"I admit," Oberyn confessed happily, "You've become something of a legend in my country thanks to your exploits. The man who destroyed the Lannisters in a single night! The Shadow of Fire! It has a nice ring to it, wouldn't you agree? You even have Tywin's children alongside the Mountain, no? Oh, the delicious irony!"

Naruto brightened immediately at the talk of war and all its spoils.

"Put them there myself. You're free to pay them a visit-

Not wanting to subject either of his siblings to such a thing, Tyrion struggled to reign the pair in.

"Pardon me my lord, but may I present-

"And there is someone I would like _you_ to meet." before anyone could argue, Oberyn clapped his hands together. "Come in, my dear!"

All eyes turned as a shadow detached itself from the hall and entered the room.

It was a terribly rare thing indeed when the sight of a woman could leave Naruto so speechless, but this beauty did all that to him and more. Warm eyes framed by dark curls held his with careless ease, dusky skin and flawless curves all, concealed within a lavender and dark curls all she was a creature of near-peerless beauty. So much so that he found himself at a loss for worse. She smiled disarmingly at him, and he felt something inside him melt. A great effort focused his attention on Oberyn was more. Sure enough, the rogue all flashed him a knowing grin.

"May I present my darling niece, Princess Arianne Nymeros Martell."

The beautiful goddess curtsies deeply.

"I am honored, your grace."

Naruto opened his mouth to return such platitudes, paused. Considered.

Sighed.

"Fuck it. I'm entirely too sober for this shit. Who wants a drink?"

Oberyn laughed.

"I like this one already!"

 **A/N: And there you have it! Hope you noticed the "I choose violence" scene there, it was paid in homage to the original! The GOT world is changing, but whether for good or bad...one can only guess. By the end some will live, others will die, and the world will be turned on its ear! What will happen next?!**

 **Stay tuned to find out!**

 **...The events of GOT ought to be quite different with Stannis on the Iron Throne...will Naruto make it out of this one alive? But the questions don't end here! Now remember that Naruto at the moment, has little to nearly no power in this fic beyond his superior strength, stealth skills, and of course, his wit. He's still himself, just...hardened. And, in the end there will only be one king upon the Iron Throne, and all bloody hell is about to break loose!**

 **So...in the immortal words of Atlas...**

 **...Would You Kindly Review the story of this humble man? And enjoy the previews! Sorry for the confusion, but SHEER CHAOS occurs next chapter. Didn't want to squeeze everything in here all at once, SO ENJOY THE MULTI PREVIEWS! And guess at what happens! Good luck guessing at the identity of the first one!**

 **(Preview(s)**

 _Naruto blinked bleary eyes, raw from sleep._

 _...is there a reason you're in my bed?"_

 _"I wished to speak with you."_

 _Crap._

 _He knew that look well; it meant she wasn't going to leave him be unless he used force. The stubborn set of her jaw, the way her eyes caught the early rays of the sun, burning with determination. He was entirely too tired to push her away, and, not being quite awake himself, didn't have the presence of mind to refute her._

 _"Alright," he relented, "What do you wa-_

 _As a result, the kiss caught him entirely flatfooted._

* * *

 _After a moment, the Hound grunted._

 _"Got any chicken?"_

 _Eleanor brightened._

 _"Indeed we do."_

* * *

 _"A man sends his regards."_

 _Naruto blinked, staring owlishly at the sword protruding from his chest, its edge caked with blood. Stabbed in the back. Huh. Odd way to go, one he hadn't expected._

 _"Well...fuck."_

 _That was his last thought before the darkness took him._

 **R &R! =D**


	6. Ashes to Ashes

**A/N: So, back again! Saw the Season Finale and yes, for those who are wondering, this chapter draws some parallels with it. That aside, the hate just seems to keep flowing from my detractors these days! Unfortunately, some aren't too keen on crossovers of ANY sort, it seems. Death threats and promises of imminent pain aside that, some such guests had this to say:**

 **Here's the latest:**

 _Story: Daddy Won't You Please Come Home?_  
 _Chapter: 1. Chapter 1_

 _From: Guest_  
 _-_

 _:You. Are. A f***. Abomination. As are everything you come up with. This is no exception. All you can do is whine like a dumb b***,_

 _From: fyi (Guest)_  
 _-_

 _fyi:oh god...not you...i have been on the look out for ever since i read one of fics. but that's impossible because you fuxking infect all fandoms! you can go ruin all the other fandoms there but not this. please._

 ** _From my frozen story:_**

 _From: Squarekiddo ( u/6123855/ )_  
 _Reply URL: . ?rwid=238787896_  
 _-_

 _No thanks, I was looking for a Naruto/Frozen Crossover, not a Frozen story with an OC named Naruto._

 ** _And on another story:_**

 _From: Guest_  
 _-_

 _:My god someone should shoot you for coming up with this s***._

 **AND ANOTHER:**

From: Guest  
 _-_

 _:Like the rest of your stories, its so disjointed. You seem incapable of actually writing a story that flows well_

 _You should quit writing and start something a bit differen_ t.

 **THOSE WERE SOME ONE OF THE NICE ONES, JEEZ! And don't use a guest account so I can't reply. CONSIDER THIS THAT REPLY! SHAME! SHAME! Excusing the utter lack of diction, I've since deleted these messages, but I'm a little hurt, to be honest. I suppose you can't please everyone these days. I suppose I can only say that if you don't like it, don't read, don't review, and please don't hate? But I don't infect fandoms, do I?**

 **...**

 **...**

 **...**

 **...guys?**

 **I think I'm just going to crawl into a hole for awhile. Don't mind me and my fragile self-esteem...**

 **...**

 **...**

 **...**

 **Alright, sulking over.**

 **On a more positive note, I HAVE A NEW JOB! At my local bookstore! Huzzah! And did I mention...THE NEW GOT SOUNDTRACK IS OUT ON ITUNES! BUY IT NOW! SOOOO INSPIRING!**

 **No uber long author's note this time; I'll just leave ya'll guessing =D**

 **JUST SAW THE GAME OF THRONES EPISODE FINALE AND...I AM SAD. So many dead! Its just ocurred to me that half of the cast in my story are now gone and it feels WEIRD writing them as if they were still alive when we know that they aren't. Needless to say its heavily influenced this chapter, in a sense.**

 **Additionally, I give full credit to several quotes from Jon Wick in this story. GOOD LORD that was inspirational.**

 **Also! Things get intimate real quick in the beginning! And a WARNING. THIS CHAPTER GETS DARK IN PLACES. Character death will happen in this story, if the title isn't a clue. I can only pray that you understand why said characters have to perish because it isn't for shock value.**

 **On we go!**

 _"I have been shot, stabbed and impaled. I have had my legs broken. Lost my hands, had my eyes gouged out, and guess what? They all. Grew. Back. You'd better **pray** you kill me with that poker because if you don't I'm going to jam it up your ass and fuck you bloody with it!_

 _~Naruto and~?_

 **Ashes to Ashes**

 _"Burn them all."_

 _"Don't you understand?! She isn't here!"_

 _"Burn them all!"_

 _"Let me through!"_

 ** _"BURN THEM ALL~!"_**

"CERSEI!"

Naruto jolted awake with a Lannister's name lingering on his lips, sword in hand and swinging. Wait. That wasn't a sword in his hand but a mangled pillow, and this wasn't the Sept of Baelor but his own quarters. There was that infernal boar head mounted on the wall, the dart through its eye. There was Ser Pounce, curled up at the foot of the bed, sound asleep. There was the candle at his desk, long since extinguished. He could feel the gentle night breeze of the sea wafting in from his open window, wrapping across his bare chest in reassuring comfort.

All of it was real.

With that, the rest of the world came back to him in fits and spurts and his mind gradually began to accept that it had all been just that, another of his dreams; albeit a particularly nasty one. His body refused to believe it entirely however, and his heart still hammered from the rush of fire and blood he'd experienced. Both of his forearms throbbed angrily, protesting burns he remembered, but could not see. ' _It wasn't real,_ he reminded himself, desperately again. He'd been dreaming of the future again. One untouched by the events of today, but a future all the same. He'd seen them burn. Seen them all burn, consumed in a wall of green fire, _felt it_ as that madwoman looked on, enjoying a glass of wine.

On some level he knew it was a dream; it had to be. This had never happened. Cersei languished in the black cells beneath the keep. She was never getting out. So why?

Why did he feel so uneasy?

"Naruto...?"

The prince started slightly when someone called out to him, his already raw senses shrieking in alarm as the sheets stirred beside him. A hand leaped to the compartment where he'd hid his knife, stilling only as a pair of slim arms wound across his chest. Even then he nearly fought them off until he felt the naked swell of her bare breasts press against his back, until he realized who was holding him. Her chin rested against his collarbone as she breathed, her head heavy against his own, the auburn curtain of her hair tickling at his nose, inviting pleasant memories to blunt the terror that consumed him.

"You were shouting in your sleep." she murmured against his shoulder. "Is everything alright?"

Slowly, painfully, Naruto exhaled.

"Bad dream. Did I wake you?"

"You did," came the lofty reply, "But given the circumstances, I'm inclined to forgive you."

Right, he reminded himself.

 _Margaery._

She'd come to his bed, again. He'd almost forgotten. What did it matter, anyway? They were to be wed soon enough. Of course she would be here, trying to secure her position as his wife when so many were clamoring for his affection. Daenerys had a room of her own and he didn't trust Arianne one bit, not after he'd and Oberyn had gotten themselves thoroughly soused and wound up in a brothel. He remembered nothing of that day but secretly suspected he might've done something he regretted. He wasn't fool enough to risk a stranger in his bed again. Margaery, at least, could be counted on _not_ to slit his throat in his sleep, because without him, she'd never have her dream of becoming queen.

Ambition made for a strange bedfellow but in this instant, he was glad she was here.

In this moment, he needed comfort.

He turned and cupped her face for a long, tender moment, gently thumbing her cheek with his fingers. The, struck by a surprising longing, he leaned forward and kissed her. Margaery started at this, momentarily taken aback by this unexpected turn of event, but returned his passion with equal fervor, gasping as he slid into her, fingers digging into her hips. Their coupling was brief and frenetic and _fierce;_ such, that she found herself all but swept away by it, surrendering control and yielding to his every whim.

"What did you dream about?" She asked as he held her, curled together some time later.

Naruto was silent for a very long time, so long in fact, that she suspected he'd fallen asleep. When he finally he spoke, it was barely a whisper.

"...you died." he said. "I died. Everyone died. We knew, and there was nothing we could do."

Margaery's heart lurched.

 _There it was._

The chink in his armor she'd been seeking all this time. She need only say the right words and she'd have sway over him. It would be easy. Broken men were easy to control once you knew their weakness, and he'd just revealed it to her. He feared fire. He feared death. The voices in his head. Those were normal fears, fears she could capitalize on, use to her advantage...

But she just couldn't bring herself to act on it.

"Tell me." she said instead.

He growled.

"No."

She kissed him softly, her lips lingering against his cheek.

"Please. Let me help."

And so he did.

At great length and in every bit of blazing gory glory, right down to the last minute detail.

"That bitch." she surprised even herself with her own vehemence. "That absolute _bitch!_ She killed me! ME! Whatever did I do to her?!" Seeing his smile she steadied herself- took a deep breath and calmed the raging storm of her anger and the emotions that within. "And you have these dreams often? Do they come true?"

"You mean can I _stop_ them?" he shot back.

"Can you?" Margaery asked.

"When I was seven I dreamed my sword instructor cut off my hand to teach me a lesson. And he tried. So I killed him. Got myself locked up away that one." he snorted quietly. "Few years later, around fifteen or so, I dreamed I'd be forced to marry one of Walder Frey's girls and be miserable to my last day. So when I finally met the old bastard I asked him if I could choose. Maybe meet one I'd like, ya know? Didn't work. _So,_ I told him off. Aha! I've got a good one. I dreamed that Shireen would catch greyscale. So I made my old man call in every maester he could and BOOM. Somehow, she was cured."

"Anymore examples?" a small smile flashed across her face.

"A few. Ones I'd rather not tell you about." he confessed with distant blue eyes, idly twirling a finger in her hair. "Its always of the future, though. Never the past. Tends to be a hit or miss. Once, I dreamed that I would throw myself from a window in King's Landing. In another I rode a dragon into battle and burned cities to the ground. As you can see, I haven't done either of those, yet. Other times, my dreams are downright accurate and immediate. For instance, I saw that my step-mother would die of poison. _That_ happened."

"You don't sound sorry for her."

"Why the hell should I be?" Naruto propped himself up on an elbow to glare at his soon-to-be-bride. "She was a bitch to me and Shireen. Her own _daughter._ She beat us. Whipped us. Even tried to poison _me_ , once. I'd be dead if not for a very talented maester and we wouldn't even be having the conversation. That's why its damn fitting that someone poisoned her this time around. I'm glad she's dead. I'd dance on her grave and be the one to spit on her ashes, if I could find them."

"Don't you know what its like to love someone?" when he didn't answer, she dared to probe deeper. "Haven't you ever...loved another?"

Naruto laughed bitterly.

"Love withers when it is neglected. Left alone too long, love will seek another."

Her lips pursed into a thin line. "That's not an answer."

"Fuck's sake...I only truly loved three times, okay?" He thrust three fingers before her face. "The first was a girl in the stables. My step-mother ordered her head chopped off. Why? Because she couldn't stand to see me happy. The second was a Frey, ironically. Met her during my stay with Walder Frey. She was the one I _would_ have liked to marry. Eliza was her name. Cheeky girl with green eyes, hair darker than pitch. Impish, clever, and sharp as valyrian steel. Then that cheeky dickwaffle father of hers forbid her from marrying me and she threw herself from the Twins. The third _might_ have been Eleanor, but ran away when she saw something that she didn't like in me. Clear enough for you?"

"You loved a Frey?" it took everything she had to maintain a straight face but somehow, she managed.

Naruto choked, embarrassed. "I was very young, _okay?!_ Can we not talk about this?" Irritated at himself for the slip, he turned away from her, throwing his head onto a nearby pillow. "I've had a lifetime of talking about lost loves and betrayals and I'm sick of it."

Margaery dithered, eyes tracing his scarred shoulders. For a moment she actually considered asking him about Daenerys, about what his thoughts were. pertaining to the Mother of Dragons. But that would've only made him even angrier than he already was and she dare not risk such an attempt. She'd only just begun to win some semblance of trust from him and any attempt to pry risked shattering that altogether. In the end she laid down beside him, stroking his back quietly.

"I'd never betray you." she insisted. "I'm yours. From this day to my last day."

His only response was a grunt.

"We'll see."

"Would you like me to sing to you, your grace? I find it helps me relax."

...fine."

She held him, then, held him closer than he would have dared to believe possible.

Margaery stroked the back of his head quietly, murmuring sweet nothings in his ears until he finally fell asleep. In her last moments before she joined him in slumber, she remained horribly unnerved. Here was a man who feared nothing. He'd killed kings and would-be kings without batting an eyelash. He'd set Sparrows on fire for assaulting his friends. With him, blood and wine flowed freely. Yet just now he'd been trembling like a leaf. The look in his eyes had been one of raw panic, wild and fierce like nothing she'd ever seen. He was keeping something from her and quite honestly she found herself afraid of that.

What _else_ could have frightened him so...?

* * *

 _(Meanwhile on the Iron Islands...)_

* * *

Euron Greyjoy watched the Iron Fleet take shape around him and he smiled.

The Kingsmoot had gone much as planned; even if he hadn't had the chance to kill Balon himself. The King's Shadow had done that for him, unknowingly paving the way for his glory and conquest. And what a conquest it would be! He would built a fleet such as the world had never seen, and he would make the world _tremble_ at the Greyjoy name.

In a way, he owed the bastard.

Owed him much.

Were it not for him, he would never have learned of Balon's death so soon. Word spread quickly these days, even on the seas and he'd returned as soon as the news reached him. All thanks to that bastard. Were it not for him, he'd never have returned as soon as he had. Were it not for him, he'd never have claimed the salt throne without a fight. No one had the gall to oppose him after he'd cut his last protester into pieces, not even his brute of a brother, Victarion. No one wanted to challenge him after that. None of them had a better plan either, though his had been waylaid somewhat upon learning that the dragon girl was back in King's Landing.

A shame, really. He would've liked to seduce her with the Iron Fleet and introduce her to his big cock. They would've made for a powerful alliance.

Wouldn't stop him from putting a sword through her heart, though.

Her heart, the bastard's heart, and all others. Then, with the Dragonbider, he'd use her own dragons to rain down fire on their enemies for all time.

He was the storm.

The first...

...and the last.

And he would bring a storm the world had never seen.

* * *

 _(...)_

* * *

 _Your grace,_

 _You are hereby cordially invited to attend the wedding of my daughter. You know, if you hadn't been such a brat to me back then, I would've gladly let you have your pick of the lot today. A shame. Any one of my girls would've been far QUIETER than the ones you seem to have surrounded yourself with._

 _Regards,_

 _~Walder Frey._

 _o_

 _o-o_

 _o_

 _Walder Frey,_

 _Prickly as ever, I see._

 _And is it that time already? Huh._

 _Time gets funny in the South, I suppose._

 _Anywho, I'd be happy to accept your invitation but I'm afraid I'm spoken for these days. I_ _'ll be leaving for the Twins after my Wedding with thousands of ARMED guards. Elite guards. Guards who do not drink unless I tell them. Soldiers who make your inbred brats look like children waving sticks. Soldiers who would be more than happy to lay claim to the Twins if I were to have an...accident. Did I mention one of them is to be the new Mountain that Rides? You've heard of him, haven't you? Ulric? Of course you have. For reasons unbeknownst to me he bears a special hatred for you in particular, and I'd just **love** to let him off the leash._

 _Have I made myself clear?_

 _Thought so._

 _Try anything and you won't live to regret it,_

 _~Naruto._

* * *

 _(...)_

* * *

"What do you think, too much?" Naruto asked the raven as he attached the message cylinder to its leg. "Should I have toned it down a bit?"

 _"Aw!"_

The bird merely squawked, eager to leave the window ledge and fritter away into the afternoon with its brethren. It wanted nothing more than to spread its wings and soar-to deliver its message. It cared naught for this strange, bare-chested man fretting over the contents of a letter not yet sent. But it had a task to complete, and so did not peck at his fingers when he hesitated over the parchment once more.

...I'm talking to animals again." the prince sighed, palming his face. "I really am going crazy, aren't I?"

 **"Of course you are. You're a beast. Why act like a man?"**

Aaaaaand there were the whispers again.

They'd let him be for so long now that he dared to hope; to think he was finally rid of them. Perhaps he'd been too busy to notice them, to feel those invisible fingers on his spine. It certainly didn't help that he chafed at the idea of civilized life. But even so, he thought he'd finally earned some peace. A reprieve.

Not so, apparently.

 _'Stop.'_ he gritted his teeth, hands fisting against the desk with enough force to bite into the would. _'I don't have time for this.'_ Sometimes he could actually argue with the voices. Convince them to let him be. On a good day he could simply drown himself in wine and ignore them entirely.

Today was not one of those days.

 **"Aw,"** the whispers purred as his eyes burned an angry red, **"You want to be rid of us. That hurts, boy. It really does. After all we've done for you? You should be grateful. Yes, you should. Where would you be without us? Poisoned. Dead in a ditch. Is it so wrong that we ask for favor in return? Small favors, tiny favors. Yes, so tiny...**

Only three things could drive them away, even for a time. Wine, Wanton murder and sex. Carnal, visceral pleasures. None of which were on hand at the moment.

 **"Why resist at all? Just give in. You should kill them all and be done with it. Just-**

 _"Just let me write my damn letter!"_

"I rather like it, actually." a sultry voice interjected. "It has fire."

Naruto's neck spun with such force that he actually felt something _pop._

"How in the hell did you hear me?" he demanded. "How did you even get _in_ -nevermind. I don't want to know."

Arianne Martell draped herself across the door-how did one even do that?!-smiling softly as she eased the aging wood shut behind her.

"Whatever do you mean?" she blinked with faux innocence, smoothing an imaginary wrinkle in the pale scarlet silk of her sleeveless gown. "The door was unlocked. I've heard you reading aloud half-a-dozen times in the last seven minutes. _Have I made myself clear?"_ her voice deepened slightly in a false falsetto, mimicking his drawl. _"Try anything...and you won't live to regret it!_ Such passion!" Laughter bubbled up out of her lips, soft and delighted. "My room is across the hall. However was I _not_ to hear? But tell me," Her bright eyes flicked down and across his chest, admiring the scars of his naked torso, "Do you often recite your letters shirtless?"

Despite his best efforts to ignore her blatant flirtation, Naruto sputtered.

"Its hot outside." And it was!

He realized his mistake a heartbeat later, when the princess of Dorne reached behind her back and locked the door.

"Ah, I see." the words emerged as a purr. "I agree with you."

The prince nearly choked on his own spit.

"You do?"

"Why, yes!" the princess agreed wholeheartedly. "It is far, _far_ too warm today. So warm in fact, that I fear I no longer have need of this dress." Before he could think to stop herhand drew bits of fabric aside, exposing the full swell of her right breast, her slender fingers dancing across the bud coyly. Naruto nearly choked on his own spit. With a supreme effort he tore his gaze away from the brilliant beauty before him and shoved the message into the cylinder at the raven's leg, locked it, and shooed the bird off the ledge to

"I'd prefer it if you kept it on, please!"

Arianne's smile vanished and her eyes narrowed to thin, angry slits.

"Tell me, why do you insist on this maddening dance?" she demanded hotly, arms falling to her sides at her waist. "You avoid me, you do not speak to me, you dither about like a fool when I make my intentions clear! Do you prefer the company of men?" a hand swept toward the door, smacking against the wood with a loud smack. "If so, then I will remove myself."

"What?! No!"

"Truly?" the heiress to Sunspear tilted her head, scowling. "Are you certain you are not off to some other bed, some other woman? Tell me who she is. I will fight her for you, bare-breasted, knife to knife!"

At that, Naruto actually felt himself smile. "While I have no doubt you could take Margaery in a physical fight, she's terribly clever. I'd be wary of Daenerys, too. She's likely to burn your eyes out, first."

"Aha!" Arianne pounced like the viper that was her namesake. "So the rumors are true, then?"

"Rumors? What rumors?"

"That you've tamed the dragon. No? You haven't tasted her nectar? Haven't-

"False! False, false, _false!"_ Naruto squawked, ears burning. "Who keeps telling you these things?!"

"Uncle Oberyn, of course."

"Bastard!"

Arianne shrugged.

"If they are unfounded, then they are of no concern to me." with that she took a swift step forward, uncaring for his retreat. "I simply did not think you mad enough to make the attempt." her fingers danced across the scarred plane of his chest, lingering over a patch of rough skin where he'd once been skewered through a lung. "It is of no concern to me how many women you dally with. That will soon cease."

"Why?"

She preened, puffing out her not-insubstantial chest.

"Because I am the best."

"Very funny." Naruto deadpanned. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have letters to write, diplomacy to keep...

"Why negotiate at all? Men should fear you." Arianne said it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "You are the prince. If they displease you, kill them."

"I'd rather not have to kill anyone at all."

"In Dorne," the words emerged as a silken purr, "We do not concern ourselves with such things. Yet you do. Why?"

"Someone has to."

 _"Are you afraid?"_

Few could hope to make Naruto's jaw drop these days, but with those words, the princess did just that.

...for your sake, I am going to pretend I didn't just hear that."

"My father is also very good at "pretending", talking in circles, speaking while doing nothing." Arianne advanced with defiant intent, staring him down. "He calls it thinking. And you?" her gaze flicked up and down across him, brimming with scorn, "Are you skilled at this as well? Doing nothing? I was led to believe you were a warrior, not some wine-addled stag who averts his gaze at the sight of a woman's breast!"

Naruto stiffened slightly.

"Careful, now."

Her eyes danced, catching the light. "Careful? I am so _tired_ of being careful." a leg twined with his, tripping him up as she pressed her warm form to his. "That is all you people _do_ in this filthy city!" lips danced along the lobe of his right ear, whispering, teasing, pleasing. "Arianne, my father always tells me; dear, sweet Arianne," her voice deepened slightly as she recited something she'd no doubt been told countless times before, "You must not say such things to them, Papa tells me. Do not do that. Bah! Let us dispense with such pleasantries! Am I not beautiful? Do you not desire me?"

"You are...a very beautiful woman."

"Aha!" she cried! "You do!"

"Stop that."

In response, he planted his hands on her shoulders and made to push her back, but Arianne wasn't having it. She lunged forward and pressed her mouth to his, kissing him fiercely. For the briefest of instants his guard faltered and he Unfortunately for her, Naruto proved more resistant to her charms than she'd expected and thrust her back with a startled grunt.

"Maker, you're forward!"

She laughed.

"It is the only way I know to be, your grace." she kissed him again, and Naruto felt his resistance begin to crumble as he shoved her away once more.

"Apparently so! Now...stop."

"Stop what?" she purred.

 _"That!"_

"Make me."

Arianne's hands wove back through the dark curtain of her hair and dropped her dress in an impossibly swift movement, leaving the silk to fall to the floor. A small, increasingly aroused part of Naruto marveled at her bare body, her firm breasts, taut stomach and wide hips. A body yielding and inviting him to do all sorts of horrid, unspeakable things to her. Arianne flashed him a roguish grin not unlike that of her uncle, Oberyn, the difference being the sheer _hunger_ in those eyes of hers.

"Damn...

If he hadn't believed the wild tales about Dornish women before, he certainly did now. He'd known many different manner of women in the past, and the present, even. Each proven unique in their own right and he had his own ways of dealing with them. Eleanor had been the sort who couldn't stomach unpleasant truths when they disagreed with her. Solution? Don't think about her. Ever. Easier said than done. Distance was a balm to that gaping wound, but distance couldn't save him from this.

Margaery thought herself more subtle with her plots and silent schemes and never spoke without thinking. In that at least he could respect her intellect and take pangs to prepare for her. He knew she wanted the throne so very, VERY badly, and wouldn't stop at anything to get it. She was a rose in every sense of the word, thorns and all.

Daenerys was a force of nature in her own right; all fire and anger and determination, given human from. She held nothing back, said what she wished and was near singleminded in her intensity. She had little patience for schemes and He was fairly certain they'd either become the best of friends/lovers or the worst of enemies.

Arianne was markedly...less reserved than all three, shameless with ambition.

She'd been in King's Landing for all of three days now and he'd nearly gone mad after the first. She was the one woman he couldn't have prepared himself for; because they were the _same._ They each had their talents and knew how to use them to get what they wanted. She possessed skills he did not, and like was true of her.

Arianne was just better with her skill set.

 _Much_ better.

Her crooked little grin promised pleasures beyond imagining, the gentle sway of her hips seemed to grow more exaggerated whenever she knew he was near. And her laugh, ah, her laughter was a force of its own. She pitched it to carry when he was within earshot. Her eyes were weapons as well; her gaze ever deemed to devour him with an ease that would've put her uncle to shame. And the touching! Always touching, touching, so much with the touching! Small things, tiny things, each of which only added to the whole.

Sneaky temptress!

The occasional brush when they passed one another in the keep, lingering longer than she would have. The apparent need to caress his arm if he was in reach, the dresses she wore...she knew the effect she had on him and it was maddening! Now she was standing before him naked, all but begging him to ravish her. Angry whispers in his head tormented him, spurring him to action, demanding the satisfaction he so craved...

 **"Give in. What's the harm? You did it once already...**

...and he shut them out.

In the end it took all he had to avert his gaze, pick up her dress, and fling it at her.

"Do not," he warned, "Do that again. Ever. Or I won't be responsible for what happens."

To his surprise, the princess yielded.

"Very well." she huffed, retrieving her dress. "Resist me if you must. It will only make my inevitable victory that much sweeter."

"You'll be waiting a long time."

"Ah, I like a challenge!" Arianne preened. "Come, my uncle awaits."

"Clothes, woman!"

"You're no fun."

Naruto waited patiently until he was certain she was fully clothed. Only then did he turn.

"Gotta make a stop, first."

Arianne frowned.

 _"Where?"_

* * *

 _(...)_

* * *

When the door opened, Cersei barely saw it.

But she did _hear_ it.

Months of captivity in the dark had left her nearly blind, but her hearing remained sharp as ever. She heard the lock shift, heard the hinges creak open, felt the thud of boots against the ground near her face. Felt it, as an iron toe nudged her face, checking for signs of life. Even then she didn't move, laying prone against the cold stones. It was only when the heat of a lit torch warmed her face that she finally began to move, hiding her gaze beneath the shadow of an arm.

...who is that?"

"You're not eating." a voice remarked.

Wait.

She knew that voice.

And it wasn't Tyrion.

Through dim eyes she squinted, scowling as flame-colored hair, familiar blue eyes and whiskered cheeks revealed themselves. She didn't even have the strength to lunge at him, weak as she was. She could only hiss.

 _"You."_

"Me."

"You killed my children."

"Which one? Joffrey? Well, yeah." Naruto nodded, crouching down before her with a sigh. "That was me. I won't lie to you. Watching your vicious bastard die gave me more relief than a thousand bottles of wine. He was a nasty little cunt, one who took pleasure in causing others pain. The world is better without him. And I'm not sorry for that. I do regret Tommen, though. He was just a boy-

"Get out."

"No."

Cersei spat in his face, shrieking! "I SAID GET OUT!"

The prince fell silent at that, rubbing his face with his sleeve. He was silent for a very long time. So silent in fact, that Cersei suspected he'd left altogether. When he finally spoke, she nearly jumped.

"If its any consolation you won, ya know. I saw it."

Cersei started violently.

"What?"

"In my dreams." the prince explained, his face a strange blank, "I saw you burn them all. You found one of the mad king's hidden caches of wildfire beneath the Sept of Baelor and...You. Burned. Them. All. Stannis. Me. Shireen. Loras. _Margaery."_ Those blue eyes tightened in the dark, narrowing to azure slits. "All of us. Gone in an instant. I know why you did it, too. Because it felt good-because you couldn't stand the thought of losing, of them winning, beating you. But above all because you wanted to protect Tommen, your dear son. And you know what? I understand."

"You do?"

"Don't be so shocked; even I know what its like to love someone." the whiskered assassin lowered the torch, his blue eyes hiding themselves in shadow. "Love is a fierce thing. Wild. Love makes you reckless. Foolish. It also gives you strength. Makes you dangerous."

"You're a monster." she snarled. "You're no better."

 _"Is he?"_

Light footsteps heralded the arrival of another, a Dornish woman in pale silk.

"So this the great Cersei Lannister?" she scoffed, her lips curving into frown. "Disappointing."

Cersei blinked slowly.

"Who are you?"

"Someone who remembers." the girl hissed back. "Someone who does not forget."

"Arianne." Naruto's voice rose in warning. "I told you to wait outside."

"Why? I want to watch."

Naruto scowled.

 _"Out."_

The princess went with a huff, but not before spitting on her.

"You'll have to forgive Arianne." Naruto shook his head slowly. "She has a bit of a temper. But I don't see things the way she does. Or the way you do, even. I don't DO things because they make me feel good. I purge on occasion, yes...not because I want to, but because I MUST. The voices, they're like steam, you see. It builds and builds and BUILDS until I can't control myself. I lash out." a hand rose and fell, indicating something she couldn't see. "I go into a rage that lasts for days-weeks, even!-at a time." laughter burst out of him, bubbling up without warning. "Even the sack of this city didn't calm me for long. Ha! Do you know what its like to feel like an outsider in your own skin? To lose control of your own body?"

"You...You're mad."

"Finally see that, do you?" he laughed again at her again, palming his face to hide his eyes. "I do. I _am._ The voices, the whispers, these urges, I know it isn't me, I know its NOT me, but I can't shut them off."

"Why are you even here?"

"I'm here because you won." the Son of the Stag confessed, looking quite contrite. Another act, no doubt. "As I said, I saw it. Somehow, someway, you got out of this cell. You won, and I can't have that. So I'm putting a stop to it before it starts the only I know how."

"And I suppose you chose to threaten my brother." she hissed.

"No...I chose you." her face must have paled, because the prince hastened to explain. "Not because it felt good, because it actually doesn't at this point. I've already taken so much from you, now I have to take your life as well. I could have chosen your brother. That would've pleased Daenerys to no end, I suspect. Oh? Hadn't you heard? No, of course not. You've been locked down here for ages now. How silly of me to...forget." A wan smile tugged at his whiskered cheeks, "Still, she's alive. Safe and out of the grasp of people like you. But back to our chat-

The door creaked open once more, causing Cersei to start.

"I really don't relish this at all. No one should have to die in the dark, alone, forgotten. Even if Tyrion understands I know that your brother won't forgive me for this; I know Shireen will be furious with me. My friends-those few I still have-will think me cruel. I'll have to shoulder that, and I will. So here I am. If you're going to die, I should be the one to witness. Qyburn!

A gaunt-looking man that she didn't recognize emerged from the shadows behind him.

"This pains me, my lady." the Maester lamented mournfully, kneeling before her. "Whatever your faults and flaws, you do not deserve to die alone in such a cold, dark place." His frail-looking hands presented her with a small cup, a cup that all but reeked of Milk of the Poppy. "But sometimes, before we can usher in the new, the old must be put to rest. It will be quick, I promise. Drink," he urged her, folding her hands around the small cup. "Drink and be with your children forevermore."

Cersei gazed at the cup, quietly despondent.

What more _did_ she have to live for? What?

"No."

A thorn of stubborn pride pricked her at the last moment and held her back. No. She didn't want to die. She wanted vengeance. She wanted to see him suffer, as she had suffered. She wanted what was hers! Not to do this, to die quietly in a cell, alone and forgotten! Not like this! NOT LIKE THIS! She refused to die in a place like this, surrounded by mere peasants! They were nothing to her! Beneath her! And they DARED to presume she would yield to them? After this?!

Snarling, she flung the cup in the prince's face.

"No?" Naruto sidestepped the projectile, taken aback by the sudden defiance. "Look, I'm trying to be merciful here. Its either this or I call Bronn in here to chop your head off. And I'd _really_ like to avoid that."

"I refuse, you treasonous little ponce." she snarled, her voice growing stronger with each passing moment. "I won't give you the satisfaction! You have no right! I demand a trial by combat!"

Naruto and Qyburn exchanged a slow glance.

And the prince surprised her yet again.

He _laughed._

"I'm afraid you don't understand. This isn't a trial; and you don't have a choice. I tried to be the nice guy and make it painless, but now I see that was a mistake. Qyburn? I'll hold her."

"As you say, your grace."

"What? No." Cersei shrank back at the tone in his voice, skittering as far as her chains would allow. "No!" she cried as he stormed forwards! "No! _NO!_ You can't do this to me!" she clawed at Naruto with a strength born of sheer desperation, carving bloody furrows into his face with her long nails, but still he kept coming. "You'll never get away with it! Do you hear?! My father will have your head! HE-

Something cracked across her face a moment later, driving her to the floor, stunned.

Arianne's face was the last she saw, swimming in and out of focus.

"Sweet dreams, little lion."

Alas, Cersei regained her senses a heartbeat too late; hands like iron clamped across her face, forced her jaw open despite her protests. Another pair poured something foul and cloying down her gullet. More of that potion? Against her will, her body swallowed. Both hands fell away and Cersei spat at them. She choked and gagged at the taste, trying to force the potion out, to speak, to breathe, but her movements were already growing sluggish, her eyes drooping despite her best efforts to be strong and keep them open.

 _May the gods spit...on you! I deserved more! I am...the Queen! Not like this...I... deserved...more._

Neverending sleep came quickly.

 _Blackness._

* * *

 _(...)_

* * *

Sure enough, Oberyn was indeed waiting for them near the Mountain's cell.

By then he'd grown quite impatient.

"Aha! At last you arrive!" the spear-wielder declared, throwing his arms up at the sight of Naruto, with Arianne in tow. He paused at the sight of the scratches marring the prince's cheek. "What have you two been up to down here...? No, nevermind that! This fool guard of yours won't let me in." he waved an angry hand at the nearby soldier, frowning deeply. "The man believes my life will be in danger. Tell him otherwise." The guard in question offered a mute shrug beneath the prince's questioning stare, but otherwise remained most firm, refusing to budge in spite of the Martell's protest.

"King's orders, I'm afraid m'lord." he said. "No one is to see Gregor Clegane without express permission from the royal family."

"And why not?" Oberyn demanded.

"No one else is capable of stopping him when he's awake." Qyburn chose that moment to speak. "I'm afraid he's become a tad...resistant to my methods."

As if to emphasis that very point, the door shook, causing many to jump.

"He has a fair point, uncle." Arianne argued, eyeing the dark bulk behind the bars warily. "A caged beast is often the most dangerous. And you are unarmed."

"Then someone give me a sword!" her uncle replied!

"Here."

Naruto sighed and handed his fellow prince one of his long daggers. Arianne blinked.

"Where were you hiding _that?"_

The whiskered prince flashed a small smile.

"Dirty jokes are still dirty, you know. Lambert!" he barked at the guard, "Let Lord Oberyn in. Prince's orders. I'll go with him myself. No one else is to enter."

Arianne rounded on him. _"What?!"_

"I'm not letting you in there with him." Naruto snapped, biting back a growl. "Its too dangerous."

"He is chained!" she cried.

"You said so yourself, a chained beast is the most dangerous."

The princess of Sunspear opened her mouth to refute his claim...and snapped it shut.

"Ohhhh, you're clever."

"I try. Now, open the gate."

...as you wish, your grace." the guard relented reluctantly, reaching back to the ring of keys at his belt and unbarring the door.

"At last!"

Oberyn all but marched right past the man, stormed into the open cell and threw caution to the wind; eager to make it to the end of the aisle to where his prey awaited. Naruto followed at a more leisurely pace, wary of the hulking form lurking at the end of the room. Within good reason! He was not so eager to meet death that he would fling himself at it headlong! If that hulk got his hands on either of them, they would die; he had no illusions of any other outcome. The great goliath would rip theirs head right off, and there would be no coming back from _that._

The thought made him nervous, but not enough to risk leaving Oberyn alone with a man-made killer. Even if the cell was dark and dank, with nearly no light beyond that of a lone, flickering torch.

But it seemed Gregor Clegane had seen better days.

Someone had taken it into their head to have him beaten and flogged; his face and chest were a mess of mangled bruises and puss-filled wounds a length over. Yet even then, stripped as he was of armor and weapons and despite-or perhaps in spite of-his many wounds he'd managed to break two of the four chains holding him with sheer strength alone. It was something to be wary of certainly. Unsurprisingly, he was quite conscious even in his condition, enough to raise his gaze as they approached and offer a hackle-raising snarl.

...what do you want, bastard?"

Naruto stiffened slightly.

"Right now? I want to cut your balls off."

Oberyn remained unfazed. "Do you know who I am?" he asked, stepping forward.

"Another dead man?"

"I am Oberyn Martell. You killed my sister...Ellia Martell." The prince's voice may have _appeared_ calm to an outside observer, but the very words themselves vibrated with menace, years worth of anger compacted into a single heated moment. "You raped her. You murdered her. You killed her children. Confess." he brandished his borrowed dagger in an unspoken threat, "Say it now and we can make this quick." To his surprise however, the elder Clegane pushing himself upright up on the back of both knees, chuckling deeply.

Laughter greeted them, like the sound of thunder. "You're a fucking idiot."

Even crippled as he was, Gregor Clegane was still quick.

 _Murderously_ quick.

One was faster.

 _"Ohfuckyou!"_

 _Kushina_ descended with a mournful howl, cleaving through flesh and bone like butter. Clegane howled in angry surprise, his attack aborted mid-lunge, fingers falling well short of Oberyn's unprotected head. Naruto cut down again and that howl warped into a shriek of pain. Gregor's right arm flopped to the stone floor, severed at the elbow, unmoving as its once-former owner writhed and clutched at the severed stump in a vain effort to staunch the bleeding. Oberyn blinked, not for the blood spattering his face and clothes, not for the limb on the floor, but out of annoyance. Ire, that someone had claimed the first strike on what he clearly deemed to be his prize.

"I had it under control." Hazel eyes gleamed with restrained anger as he turned to face his fellow prince. "Why did you do that?"

"Would you rather I let him burst your head like a melon?!" Naruto hissed, his gaze sliding back to Gregor. "What about you, big guy? Anything to say?"

"Fuck you...!"

"Fuck you?" the Son of the Stag snorted. "You really want those to be your last words? C'mon, you can do better."

 _...cunt!"_

Naruto exchanged a wry look with Oberyn and shrugged.

"You're shit at dying," he drawled darkly, "You know that?" When the Mountain merely moaned, he tasted Valyrian steel once again, the razor sharp edge opening an angry line against his cheek. "Confess, or I take the other hand. Or I could just let you bleed to death...?"

Oberyn thumbed his chin, considering.

"Hmm...a slow one would be best..."

"How do I know you won't just fucking kill me, eh?!"

"I am a man of my word." Naruto replied. "I swear I won't kill you. Swear it on the old gods and the new."

...FINE! I did it!" the brute growled through clenched teeth, glaring up at them. "Ellia Martell! I killed her! Raped her! Murdered her children on Tywin Lannister's orders!" By this time he'd become quite pale from loss of blood, his already pallid visage drained a frightening shade of chalk white. "Now fucking do something, you shit! NOW!"

Naruto stepped back.

"As you wish."

Oberyn was also a man of his word; no sooner had Clegane confessed to his crime, than the prince drove the dagger home in the rapist's skull, burying it to the hilt in a fountain of scarlet blood. Gregor Clegane felt only the briefest flash of pain before he perished. He didn't even have time to gasp before his expression went slack, his body left slumping against the chains, dribbling bits of gore and brain matter onto the floor. He died as he had lived, suddenly and sharply with no care for anyone else beyond himself.

"For my sister." Oberyn hissed, giving the dagger one final wrench, ripping the weapon free and savaging the corpse one final time. It felt...strange. Cleansing. At least, it should have. But he knew in his heart that he'd not yet avenged her. He'd merely butchered the puppet. Its master was still out there somewhere, plotting. Scheming. She wouldn't know peace until he was slain.

Naruto observed it all with an air of quiet detachment, letting him have his moment, waiting until he was done.

Oberyn found he rather liked him.

Oh, he pretended not to care, but he did.

"You have my thanks for all that you've done." he offered his hand in friendship and the Son of the Stag accepted it straight away. "Dorne will fight beside with you when you face your enemies." he gave the corpse one last kick for good measure, "And I myself will stand with you; I intend to see Tywin Lannister's head on a pike before I die!"

"I'll hold you to that." Naruto blinked, then. "Wait. You're staying? Won't you be, I don't know, bored?"

"Of course not!" Oberyn laughed. "Ellaria and I have our ways. Care to join us? She speaks most fondly of last evening."

The assassin choked, his face flushing red. "I think...I'll pass."

"Oh? You were not so humble before."

 _"One time, oi!"_ The heir pinched his nose. "Also, I need to ask you for a favor."

"Gladly."

"Please, _don't_ tell Dany we just did this."

"Why not?"

Naruto looked at him as though he were mad.

 _"She'll get ideas."_

* * *

 _(Some Hours Later...)_

* * *

When the door swung open, Jamie Lannister was ready to die fighting.

With all of his remaining strength he lunged upright and flung himself at his jailer, chain in hand!

He wasn't expecting to run into a wall of muscle and metal. Months of solitude without training had stripped him of much of his strength and so, when a pair of massive hands seized him by the shoulders, he was all but powerless to resist. His feeble thrashing did not but draw a grunt from his captor. Even more so when said hands threw him right back into the cell with a harsh thud. For a fleeting moment he thought he was looking at the Mountain-no, this wan't Gregor Clegane, but a man nearly as large, bristling with armor and quiet menace.

Large hands locked around his hands and feet, returning him to where he was chained against the wall, this time, without the slightest of slack. Jamie hissed softly and the giant tightened them still until it was all he could do to simply bow his head.

"Calm down, little man." Ulric Umber rumbled, tightening the chain one final time. "Don't make me break you. You've got a visitor."

With that said he swung the door the rest of the way open and stepped aside.

Tywin's heir braced himself for the worst.

In the end, he needn't have bothered.

It wasn't Tyrion.

It wasn't the Prince.

It wasn't even the bloody King.

Instead, a young woman with pale hair entered the cell, violet eyes narrow and angry. Her blue leather gown caught the light of the torches and seemed to shimmer in the dim light, casting shadows where there should be none, playing havoc with his eyes. It was only when she stepped into the light that he recognized her. He'd never seen her a day in his life, yet he recognized her at once all the same. It was there in the way that she held herself, the slight tilt of her head as she regarded him. She didn't even need her dragons. It was those eyes, eerie orbs burning like a thousand seething vats of wildfire.

All the blood in his body turned to ice, ice that melted beneath the blaze of her gaze.

"Who...are you?"

But he already knew that, didn't he?

 _This was the Daughter of the Mad King._

"I am Daenerys Tararyen." she said, each word spoken with the heat of dragonflame itself. "I have a message for you."

Gathering himself up with as much confidence as he could find, the Kingslayer propped himself up against the wall and mustered his most fearless smile.

"You'll forgive me if I don't bow."

Daenerys frowned.

Aha, and there it was! The insufferable Lannister arrogance she'd heard so much about but never seen for herself until now. Even with the unkempt bear, even in rags and stripped of his gilded golden armor Kingslayer somehow managed to poison her against his family in a matter of moments. It was that smug sense of superiority, one Tyrion utterly lacked. At least the dwarf was somewhat _likable._ It helped that he was somewhat in awe of her and her dragons of course, and that he knew who his betters where. Not this one. Even in chains, he still thought he held all the cards.

As such, she took great pleasure in trumping that impenetrable confidence, tearing down the wall of his folly.

"Have you spoken to your sister, Kingslayer?"

The smile dimmed, somewhat.

"Your the first visitor I've had in months." he raised his manacled arms for emphasis. "Not exactly the best place for visitors. What does it matter at any rate? My sister means nothing to me."

The Mother of Dragons couldn't have asked for a better opportunity to call his bluff had he asked her himself. Ser Jorah would not approve of what she was about to do of course; he'd counsel mercy and wisdom.

He wouldn't approve of this, oh no, not one bit.

 _"Then you'll be pleased to know she's dead."_

Jamie's smile and spirit shattered as one.

It was as if a black hole had opened in the pit of his stomach all at once, swallowing everything. All hope, all emotion, all light. Any figment he might've had of escaping vanished in that instant, devoured with everything else. Part of him clung to denial; refusing to even acknowledge the bloody words, lest they poison his resolve even further. Because to admit it was to destroy himself. Even now he could feel himself crumbling-it took all he had to erect his facade once more; to prevent it from crumbling.

"What? No." he shook his head. "You're lying."

"My husband killed her hours ago as a wedding gift to me." replied the Mother of Dragons with a slight smile. "I thought you should know how it feels to lose someone, considering."

"No," Jamie shook his head, adamant in his defiance. "I don't believe that, either. You're no queen. You don't have the authority to demand such a thing."

"My reign has just begun." she permitted herself the smallest of smiles. "And the prince killed your lover for me all the same."

All lies on her part, of course. Well, mostly lies.

Naruto certainly wasn't her husband -not yet- and she'd only just learned of Cersei's demise by pure happenstance, but Jamie needn't know that. She sought only to twist the knife in his heart. She didn't deny it at all; it felt _good_ to watch him falter beneath her stare-to see him crumble-and all but fall to pieces as news of is lover's death destroyed him from within. Vengeance was a dish best served cold after all. And Mother of Dragons though she might be, Daenerys knew how to be very, _very_ cold where her enemies were concerned.

"I don't believe you." Ah. So he wished to be stubborn, then?

Daenerys turned her head with exaggerated poise.

"Ser Ulric?"

The knight reached into the satchel at his hip and removed the bloody parcel. Jamie stiffened, his dirty face torn somewhere between shock and horror. Two steps later and the great goliath laid it to rest at his feet, face up, eyes wide and staring. Surprisingly, he hadn't required much prodding when it came to beheading a corpse. He'd been downright cheery about it-such was his hate for the Lannisters. She imagined he too, took great joy in this, she could see it in the care with which he arranged the queen mother's severed head just so, allowing it to catch the light, confirming her identity beyond all shadow of a doubt.

"...!"

For a fleeting moment, all fell silent in the black cells. But only a moment. Then came the shouting, the screaming. The Kingslayer's cry was music to Dany's ears. Sweet, sweet music. Equal parts rage and despair, she looked on in quiet pleasure as he lunged against his chains, weeping, cursing her and everyone, everything. He swore he would kill her, that he would make her pay for this, how she would suffer how her children and their children's children would suffer until the end of time. Rather impressive as threats went. But she didn't bat an eye for any of it and when the Kingslayer realized that didn't faze her he seemed to give up altogether.

"Are you finished?"

"Seven hells, what do you _want?"_ he moaned, bereft. "You didn't come down here just to show me...this." When she didn't answer, he hastened on, averting his gaze from the severed head at his feet. "I've changed my mind. I'm ready to die. Get it over with."

"Now?" Daenerys blinked, smiling coldly. "Today?"

Jamie felt the fear dig deeper in his heart. He'd expected a dagger in his chest. That didn't happen. What came next was far worse. To his dismay the last Targaryen leaned forward, her lips just brushing the outer lobe of his right ear.

"You're not going to die today, Kingslayer." she whispered. "You're not going to die for a very long time."

Jamie stiffened.

"No."

"Oh, yes." Dany repeated, savoring each word and the horror it brought to him. "You will live as I have lived my entire life; knowing that one day-someday-I will come for you. You will not know the day, nor the hour. It will come when you least expect. You will live to see your worst fear realized; King's Landing will return to the Targaryens, as it was meant to be. You won't be able to run, nor will you hide. I will find you, and then I will _burn_ you. When that time comes, when _I_ decide your fate, you will pray for death."

"There's no need for that." the Lanniser argued. "Just kill me and be done with it. Kill me."

Daenerys shook her head, deaf to his plea. "No, I don't think so."

With that, she turned and strode away.

"Kill me." Jamie groaned at her back. "Please."

"Your gods have forsaken you." she declared, gripping the latch of the door in hand. "I am your god now. And I demand that you suffer."

 _ **"KILL ME!"**_

The door slammed shut on Jamie's howl, leaving the Kingslayer to stew in his misery.

* * *

 _(...)_

* * *

 _They hit without warning._

 _He never even saw the blade, distracted as he was; one moment he was reading his letters, the next, someone thrust a dagger through his right lung._

 _"A man sends his regards."_

 _Naruto blinked, staring owlishly at the sword protruding from his chest, its edge caked with blood. Stabbed in the back. Huh. Odd way to go, one he hadn't expected._

 _"Well...fuck."_

 _That was his last thought before the darkness took him..._

The dream left him then and the Son of the Stag opened bleary eyes, raw from lack of sleep.

 _Odd._

He'd thought he heard a man's scream just now. Impossible. Surely it was his imagination, merely part of the nightmare...

...it probably wasn't.

His first realization was that his nap had proved short-lived; the waning light of a blood-red sun across the balcony told him evening was over and they were now well into the vening.

His dreams had been angry and restless again, visions of a future that was, but was also yet to be. Bells rang in the Sept, heralding a wedding. Armies ripped one another apart. Fleets burned. Dreams of fire and flame, the dead marching on King's Landing. Dreams he didn't know how to stop. How could you stop the dead? Burning them was certainly an option, but how did you _stop_ them. Put them down for good? He suspected a visit to the Wall was in order and soon, before that threat became more than just a threat, but an actual danger.

All thoughts of that ceased when he realized he was looking at Daenerys Stormborn.

 **"Kill her."** the voices snarled.

Narrowly, he suppressed them.

This was either still part of his dream-which it very well might be, considering she was wearing little more than a thin chemise gown!-or he was awake. Somehow she'd climbed onto his bed when he was asleep-which was rather alarming, in-and-of itself. If his guards let just anyone into his quarters these days then how the _hell_ was he going to avoid assassins? He'd have to have a word with Ulric about that. No visitors without his express permission, or there would be a penalty of some sort. Yes, he ought to make that a rule-

"Ahem."

Ah.

Right.

 _Daenerys._

...is there a reason you're in my bed?" he sighed.

For a moment he thought she'd snap at him. In all honesty he expected it. Surprisingly, she didn't. Instead she shifted slightly, folding her hands in her lap. It was a surprisingly demure position from someone so fierce, a woman so indomitable, so adamantly...Targaryen. Alarm bells went off in his head. In the short time in which they'd known one another she'd never humbled herself before him. Not once. _Ever._ That she was doing so now while wearing _that_ was utterly baffling for all the wrong reasons.

"I wished to speak with you." she said.

"Its almost night."

"I am aware."

 _Crap._

He knew that look well; it meant she wasn't going to leave him be unless he used force. The stubborn set of her jaw, the way her eyes caught the setting rays of the sun, burning with determination. He was entirely too tired to push her away, and, not being quite awake himself, didn't have the presence of mind to refute her. She wouldn't leave, at any rate. Not until she'd said her peace.

"Alright," he relented, sitting up, fighting to meet her eyes. "What do you want?"

"I wish to propose an alliance."

"Eh? Alliance?" the prince found himself blinking. "Oh, right. _Riiiiiiiiiiight._ I did mention something like that, didn't I?" Sleep had well and truly eluded him by now; it was impossible to he wouldn't be resting his tired eyes anytime soon, not with the Mother of Dragons in his bed, and certainly not when she was wearing that! Grumbling softly to himself he scrubbed at his face with the back of his knuckles, rubbing away the last vestiges of drowsiness out of his eyes.

"You and Varys finally had a chat, did you?"

Her expression was telling.

"What does this "alliance" entail, exactly?" he yawned.

Daenerys Targaryen gazed at him for a long, agonizing moment, her expression torn somewhere between looming doubt and quiet skepticism. Once again he expected another outburst of pride, or barring that stubborn emotion at least _anger_ of some sort. As such, he was floored when she straightened up, looked him right in the eye and declared in firm tones:

"It entails an offer of...marriage."

 _"Ha!"_

Naruto tumbled off the bed and to the floor, clutching his sides in a vain attempt hold back the laughter. She actually had a sense of humor! Who would have thought?! But in the ensuing silence that followed, a seed of silent dread planted itself in his heart. Dany hadn't moved. She hadn't even spoken since he'd all but crashed off the bed. In fact she was still sitting there, lips pursed, brow dark with clouds of restrained anger. Rather adorable, really.

"Wait," he poked his head up over the bed, "You're serious? _Why?"_

"I find your presence rather...agreeable." The Mother of Dragons confessed, averting her gaze. "You are not the man I thought you were. You're...more."

"And who did you think I was?" Naruto inquired, climbing back onto the bed beside her. "Do tell."

"I thought you were a drunkard and a glutton who delighted in whores and wine." she confessed, uncaring when he cringed. "A coward. Someone who let others do his bidding while you hid behind your guards and let them do the killing for you. I was wrong." All the while, Naruto firmly resisted the urge to bang his skull against the headboard. So...she knew about his little misadventure in the dungeons after all. Of course, she did. Was no one capable of keeping a secret in this blasted city?!

He wasn't about to ask what else she'd been up to while he slept; she'd just refuse to tell him.

"I'm not the man you think I am-

"But you are." Daenerys argued against his irked expression, her voice growing more and more insistent with each passing moment. "I see that now. You took what you thought was rightfully yours and let none stand in your way. When your enemies threatened you, you fought back until they were either destroyed, or too broken to retaliate against you. You weren't some pampered prince, a milk-besotted noble, born clutching a silver spoon. You were a bastard. You admitted it to me yourself. You came from nothing, you _had_ nothing, yet you fought and clawed your way into power with fire and blood to get here, to stand where you are now."

"Nice speech." Naruto snorted, his voice dripping with bitter sarcasm. "Coming from a Targaryen, that's actually kinda flattering. Still haven't explained why you want me to marry you, though. You need a _lot_ _more_ than mutual interests to marry someone."

"And yet you're to wed Margaery." she scoffed, shifting closer. "Is that no

The prince drew back with a start.

"That's different."

"Is it?" she challenged with heat in her words, refusing to back down. "When I came to King's Landing, you could've had be executed on the spot." A hand snaked out, claiming his wrist before he could hope to retreat to safety again-before he could think to escape. "You claimed you had no part in that conspiracy to bring me here. By all rights, you didn't have to defend me. Yet you did." her eyes held his as she climbed into his lap, and the prince went stiff beneath her. "You let yourself be beaten bloody for me," she said, stroking his face, "A stranger, an outcast, a threat to your reign."

Naruto opened his mouth to refute such a thing. "To be be fair-

As a result, the kiss caught him entirely flatfooted.

Daenerys merely brushed her mouth against his, yet it was enough to silence him all the same. She paused, lingered, breath warm on his face.

"You angered your father-the King-merely by speaking in my defense." the words were softer now, nearly a whisper, as though she were admitting it as much to herself as she was him. "You kept me safe. You protected me, when I did want you too, did not ask for it. At first, I didn't understand that. Why would you do such a thing? What did you have to gain, I wondered? I expected you to make demands of me, to take my dragons as payment. But you asked for nothing, you treated me as an equal when no else would. I think I know why, now."

"Do enlighten me."

"You're a good person, Naruto."

"I'm really not." he shook his head. He wasn't not at all. He could be cruel and mean and flawed...how did a handful of good deeds make up for all the violent acts he'd committed along the way? He'd killed and as much as he deemed it necessary to silence the voices, there was still that small part of him that enjoyed it. That someone so jaded could think of him as anything more was...humbling. Painfully so.

She kissed him again, harder this time, distracting him.

"You are."

"No, I-seven hells!' Naruto tried to disagree, but the words piqued into a groan. His hands had long since betrayed him, reaching up to peel the gown away from Daenerys Stormborn when he wasn't looking. Her hands were already at work on his trousers, stripping it, and that last vestige of self control away.

"Look, lets say I agree to this." he managed, struggling to distract himself from the _fantastic_ things she was doing to him with her hips. "It...It won't end well. I'm really not the marrying sort." he winced at the thought and the pain it invoked. "I've screwed up too many times. I'm broken. I don't think I even know _how_ to love anymore. You'll be miserable with me. You'll be competing with Margaery every day for the rest of your life. I won't make you happy. I don't think I _can."_

"I think you will."

When lips pressed against his again, they were warmer than any dragon.

* * *

 _(Meanwhile, in the Riverlands...)_

* * *

"ACHOO!"

Eleanor sneezed mightily, expelling a thin cloud of hot steam into the frigid afternoon air. The sound caused Ramsey's hounds to start but she ruthlessly ignored them, determinedly digging deeper into her fur cloak. The dogs incessant braying didn't help, either. This weather seemed to worsen more and more with each passing day now and at times she could barely feel her fingers, much less her toes. Damn the North! She was used to a far warmer climate, not

"You've been doing that a lot, lately." Ramsey remarked. "Caught a cold?"

The shield maiden bit back a groan.

It would all be over soon.

They'd finally found her trail.

Arya Stark had been right under their noses the entire time. Once they realized she was with the Hound, it was a simple matter of following the bodies. It began with three dead men in an inn and from there, went on a merry chase through the Riverlands, following the trail of the dead. Stark, Lannister, even a few Freys. Their banners always varied but each had one thing in common. Not a one of those bodies had any coin or food on them. Whomever killed them took great pangs to fleece them of any and all valuables, which was rather suspicious in and of itself.

The Hound wasn't subtle when it came to combat; anyone fool enough to cross him found themselves dead in a ditch or worse. No, someone was with him, and that someone made sure every body was picked clean. Of course that could only mean-

"Down!"

Eleanor's only warning came in the form of an startled cry from Ramsay then a large, dark shape lunged from a nearby hill and crashed into her mount with all the force of a rolling avalanche. The horse reared, throwing her from the saddle with an angry neigh. Oddly enough, this saved her life. Instead of having her head split open, the sword sheared an angry red line across her scalp as she rolled aside.

Painful perhaps, but not lethal.

Amidst the chaos she heard the hounds baying. Their cries ended in a sharp, ugly squeal as their attacker(s) dispatched them.

Tumbling to her feet, she spied Ramsay desperately parrying their attacker's blows, bleeding from an ugly wound in his right arm. She barely had time to see said attacker before he lunged forward and impaled the poor Bolton on his blade, skewering him through the stomach as though he were a pig at a nameday feast. All Ramsay managed was a broken gurgle before his attacker tore him free, sending his body sprawling to the dirt in a messy heap of blood and entrails. Then he turned on Eleanor. In doing so, he presented an ugly, burned visage more known to her than the face of death itself.

Shit.

 _Sandor Clegane_ was a monster of a swordsman and he was fast, far faster than she'd give him credit before.

He lunged at her before she could hope to speak, his great sword arcing down at her head!

Merely blocking numbed her hand behind the shield and threatened to sent it clattering from her fingers altogether. Somehow, Eleanor held on, weathering blow after blow behind the bulwark. Then she beat him bloody with it. In the time that it took Clegane to raise his sword again the nimble shield maiden darted under his guard and swiped up at him with her sharpened shield, bloodying the larger man's nose. Against a man like the Hound it didn't so much stop him as it did stun him, but it _did_ buy here the time to throw a vicious right hook into his face, hurl him to the ground, and bring her sword up again.

Cold steel found his throat an instant later.

"Yield." she snarled.

"Beaten by a woman." The Hound groaned. "They'll never let me live this down."

"Where's Arya Stark?"

The Hound spat.

"Fuck off-

A blade poked against the small of her back.

 _"Stop."_

Craning her head, Eleanor spotted a young girl not a stone's throw away, watching her keenly. In her hand she clutched a thin sword that more resembled a rapier than an actual blade. Said girl also looked all of a mere moment from skewering her through with said sword. Eleanor daren't turn, she couldn't risk leaving her back open to someone like the Hound. But in the same vein, she couldn't leave her back open to the girl, either. It really was a nasty little weapon-wait. A spark of recognition sparked to life inside her. Robb had mentioned such a sword...

"You're Arya Stark."

The girl with boyish hair started, then hastily covered her surprise with a scowl. "No, I'm not. Who are you?"

Yup. Definitely Arya.

"Your brother sent me to bring you home." the shield maiden spoke slowly, keenly aware of the blade mere inches from ending her life, "He's been searching for you."

"You know Robb?"

 _Aha!_

"There's a war on, remember?" Clegane growled. "Don't believe her-OOF!"

A boot on his chest shut him up right quick.

"Not anymore." Eleanor argued, pressing down. "Look...I'm going to reach into my sachel now. I'd appreciate it if you didn't skewer me like a pig." The Lord of Winterfell had indeed given them a message for this very purpose. So had Naruto. Against her better judgement, she straightened and, wincing at the pain in her back, sheathed her blade. The tip of Needle vanished not a heartbeat later. The Redwyne heaved a sigh of relief and dipped a hand into her pack, retrieving the parchment from within.

"That's my father's seal." Arya blinked, solemnly accepting the scroll.

"Your brother's, now."

Ned Stark's daughter didn't answer that, instead breaking the wax seal and quietly opening the message. She stood that way for what felt like a small eternity, eyes greedily devouring the words within. The entire time, Eleanor dared not take her boot from Sandor's chest. Not until the Stark girl finished reading. Her eyes were decidedly misty after.

"I believe you."

"Thank you."

Wincing, she removed her heel and allowed the Hound to climb to his feet.

"I'm not here to hurt you, Clegane."

"Yeah? That boy of yours tried. You saw what happened to him."

"I don't care about Ramsay Bolton. He wasn't part of my mission." Scoffing, she handed him another scroll, meant for his eyes alone.

Sandor scowled, confused.

"The fuck is this?"

"A royal proclamation by the Prince." Eleanor answered, her eyes never once leaving his, watching for any and possible sign of undue movement. "Any and all crimes you've committed under the Lannisters are forgiven. You can go home." And so could she! The thought thrilled her, but she schooled her face into impassivity. "What do you say?"

"I'm not a knight. My brother's a knight. Fuck that." he shook his head, his perpetual scowl deepening even further. "I'm not wearing that fucking white cloak again."

"He's not asking you to be a part of the Kingsguard. He's got a better offer for you."

"What kind of offer?"

"The kind you can't refuse."

For a split second she actually thought he might attack.

After a moment, the Hound grunted.

"Got any chicken?"

Eleanor brightened.

"Indeed I do."

 **A/N: And there you have it! Hope you noticed the "I choose violence" scene there, it was paid in homage to the original! The GOT world is changing, but whether for good or bad...one can only guess. By the end some will live, others will die, and the world will be turned on its ear! What will happen next?!**

 **Stay tuned to find out!**

 **...The events of GOT ought to be quite different with Stannis on the Iron Throne...will Naruto make it out of this one alive? But the questions don't end here! Now remember that Naruto at the moment, has little to nearly no power in this fic beyond his superior strength, stealth skills, and of course, his wit. He's still himself, just...hardened. And, in the end there will only be one king upon the Iron Throne, and all bloody hell is about to break loose!**

 **So...in the immortal words of Atlas...**

 **...Would You Kindly Review the story of this humble man? And enjoy the previews! Sorry for the confusion, but SHEER CHAOS occurs next chapter. Didn't want to squeeze everything in here all at once, SO ENJOY THE MULTI PREVIEWS! And guess at what happens! Good luck guessing at the identity of the first one! NEXT CHAPTER, THE ONE YOU'VE ALL BEEN DREADING: THE ORANGE WEDDING! WARNING! SOMEONE DIES!**

 **(Preview(s)**

 _Walder Frey spread his arms wide in a greeting._

 _"So glad you could join us, boy!"_

 _Naruto smiled thinly._

 _"We'll see."_

* * *

 _Black Walder drew back with a startled hiss._

 _"Seven Hells!"_

 _Naruto's corpse stood slowly, woodenly and without care. It shook itself like a wet dog, seemingly ignorant of the small array of crossbow bolts jutting from its back, of its missing arms, of the dead bodies at its feet. More than a few of them were Freys. But perhaps worst of all was that the corpse was moving. Speaking. Breathing-no. It wasn't a corpse at all. But it had to be! They'd shoved a sword through his heart! Stuck a full quiver of arrows in him, just as they had his wench! What sorcery was this?!_

 _"I told you to chop off my head or I'd come back to haunt you." Naruto whispered. "But you..._

 _When he looked up, those eyes weren't blue._

 _...you..._

 _They were red and slitted._

 _ **..you...**_

 _The eyes of a cat-no, something worse._

 _ **...YOU...**_

 _Just the vicious slits of an angry beast, wild and enraged._

 _ **...YOU...**_

 _Bottomless._

 _ **...YOU...**_

 _The pits to hell._

 _"...you...you...YOU DIDN'T LISTEN YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" a pair of red dots blossomed on his forehead, fingers sharpening into claws! "YOU TOOK HER FROM ME! STOLE HER FROM ME!" His voice deepened, as though another were speaking with him, no, through him! " **KILLED HER FROM ME!"**_

 _Despite his best efforts, Black Walder actually flinched back._

 _Those eyes! What were those eyes?!_

 _"People have been asking me why I don't want to rule," Naruto snarled as he dragged himself upright, his blood-soaked hair dripping whilst his baffled killer looked on, "And until now, I really haven't had an answer for that. They asked me, why? What, am I...if not a bastard?" his head cocked aside eyes flashing murderously as he reached behind his back, plucking an arrow from his spine. "A savior? Killer? Murderer of men? A lover? A husband? A filthy bag of secrets?" His skewered arm strained upright and snatched a blade from the floor, fingers digging viciously into the hilt._

 _All the while, none dared take a shot at him._

 _"However!" In a single movement he stepped forward and scythed the nearest Frey's legs out from under him and struck down in the same movement, scissoring the blade into his throat. "I've realized something." he purred, snarling as the Frey fought for his life, "It doesn't matter who I am. What I am." A trapped hand pressing against the floor, twisting upright against the bolts that finally descended upon him, uncaring for the barbs even as they bit into his flesh. "I, I am a man. I'm a monster. I have people I want to protect, and you, you're in my way." A flick of his wrist was all it took to end his struggles entirely. The moment his blade was free he began moving, stalking, storming forward._

 _His face shoved up against the Black Walder's, eyes ablaze, twin coals in his skull._

 _When he spoke, his voice was like rolling boulders scraping together._

 _ **"SO YOU CAN TELL ME WHERE YOUR FUCKING FATHER WENT OR YOU CAN DIE SCREAMING ALONGSIDE HIM!"**_

 **R &R! =D**


	7. The Orange Wedding Part I

**A/N: WHY HELLLLO MY DEAR GAME OF THRONES AND NARUTO FANS! Thought I was dead, did you? Thought I was gone, hmm?! NOPE! I'm back again after my birthday and feeling better than ever! VIVA LA REQUEST YEARS! Let the stories pour forth like sweet, sweet wine! No hiatus for me! Nothing will put me down! I will ever work to strive onward and upward!**

 **ALSO!  
**

 **We've now got an annoying little twat known who apparently wants me to kill myself. Fun fellow, isn't he? His reviews are made up of multiple sock puppet accounts and he discovered my name because I was foolish enough to post my gmail account with my actual name there. Well, that's my fault, but all his nastygrams? Not so much. So here's his for you all to see:**

 **Tim Lofar.**

 **His email is:**

 **gogharambe720**

 **at**

 **gmail**

 **dot**

 **com.**

 **HA!**

 **Two can play at this game, you demented little bugger!**

 **Let him have it!**

 **I wouldn't be surprised if he tries attack me again for this, but at this point, I'm DONE being nice. I can only fight fire with fire. Haters gonna hate. It seems he's been attacking other authors as well, the little stain. Whatever you do, don't let his cruel words get to you as they have me. Some people are just born mean it seems.** **Now, this is a nice, LONG chapter, one that I ended up having to split into TWO parts to get out properly. It demanded to be written with painstaking care, so I do apologize for the delay.**

 **This particular portion is more character oriented, as we get to peer into the minds of Daenerys, Margaery and others. Don't worry, there IS some action, and plenty of juicy bits abound both here and in the next oncoming chapter.**

 **I PROMISE it won't take as long as this one did!**

 **And remember, Stannis HATES the Targaryens, and by definition, Daenerys. She represents a very real threat to his rule, and he can't stand that. He loathes it even more that Naruto's taken it on himself to protect her, and BOY is that FINALLY going to cause friction between them in this chapter...**

 **One last thing, next chapter will easily be longer than this one. So, something to look forward to, that.** **Now, then my dear, beloved readers!**

 **Since this IS Game of thrones, there are naughty bits ahoy, here!**

 **Language as well!**

 **YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!**

 **If you don't like that, feel free to skip it.**

 **Off we go!**

 _"Are you trying to distract me, again?"_

 _"That depends. Is it working?"_

 _"Not really-NEVERMIND!"_

 _~Naruto and~?_

 **The Orange Wedding (Part I)**

Naruto woke the next morning feeling more rested than he had in an age.

Calm, even.

As though some monumental weight had been lifted from his shoulders overnight while he had slept; as if he'd been looking through a veil all his life and that shroud had only just now been torn away, the fiery blond found that, for once in his life he didn't wake up to the sound of voices in his head. In fact, he didn't hear much of anything at all. It felt cleansing to say the least. All the weight and worries of the bloody kingdom and being the blasted heir apparent seemed to have fallen away overnight when he wasn't looking, leaving him free and weightless.

It might have something to do with the warm body nestled against him.

 _"What."_

That was his _next_ thought as he came to amidst silken sheets and warm furs, realizing once again, that he wasn't alone. Now, he clearly remembered taking Daenerys to bed last night. The memory stood in stark relief among the angry haze of yesterday. Her cries-and her words-as he entered her were branded into his brain, unforgettable. But still, he'd expected her to flee before the sun rose, as Margaery had often done before her, as others had done even before that.

That she hadn't was a bit of a shock.

Yes, it proved quite the surprise indeed to find that she hadn't simply spirited herself away in the middle of the night. That she was still there would've once sent alarm bells clamoring in his head, but he simply could not bring himself to feel anything resembling worry as he laid eyes on her. Having fallen asleep against him some point after their lovemaking, the last Targaryen had not deigned to move hence. If anything she appeared to have laid claim to him when he wasn't looking; her pale hair tickling his chest, one arm absently twined against his, trapped in his side, her visage smooth and peaceful in sleep.

Even in slumber, her skin felt like fire to the touch, warmer than any flame.

Azure orbs stole over her pale skin at a glance, rose-colored nipples just begging to be tweaked. Daenerys had surprised him last night with her tenacity and pleasure, fighting just as hard as him, giving as good as she'd got. On some level that frightened, but in the same vein, also excited. A will like hers came along once in a lifetime, and never in his own had he ever expected to meet someone who would match him in that aspect. Once more, it occurred to him that he was going to marry this girl.

He no longer found the idea as appalling as he once had.

He would be taking her hand in holy matrimony.

And someday, they would have children.

Together.

Theirs.

Heirs.

 _His._

The idea of blue-eyed girls running about with redheaded boys was strangely comforting in its own right. Insanely worrying, but comforting all the same. If such a time ever came to pass, he'd raise them better than his own father had. He wouldn't use them as tools or weapons and he _certainly_ wouldn't undermine them every step of the way. Because they would be his children. His own flesh and blood.

With her.

Spirits, was he ready to be a father?

Could he truly even _live_ to shoulder such an incredible responsibility?

As a bastard, Stannis had tried to do right by him and look how that turned out!

Still...

He'd be lying if he said he didn't enjoy Daenerys Stormborn's company, rather, he'd grown quite fond of her. The Mother of Dragons was like him, sheer fire and heat and _passion;_ she said what she wanted, fought for what she believed in, and damn consequences to the seven hells. He respected that. They'd both come from nothing-no, less than nothing. Each of them had shouted and clawed and killed to get where they were now. Granted, they hadn't gotten off on the best of terms in the beginning, but they'd come to understand, if not respect one another.

He still wasn't certain he could truly make her happy. That time had come and gone long ago.

The years had poisoned him in more ways that one; left him feeling cold both within and without. And yet somehow, when he wasn't looking, he'd warmed up to her. To others. Found himself starting to consider other ways to live; ways that didn't have him cringing from voices in his head, methods that didn't drench his hands in blood. At times, in his brighter moments he liked to think that he was getting better. In his darker ones he wondered if he was secretly backsliding and this was all some elaborate trap, a fell ruse meant to snare and tear him down the moment he took her as his wife.

 _Wives,_ a small, nasty voice in his head reminded him. _You're marrying them both, remember? And all you have to do is convince the King. Aren't you lucky..._

Naruto didn't _feel_ particularly lucky.

Of course, he would likely be marrying Margaery as well, if the court had its way. Was that to be his life, now? His every act dictated by the King, by his Father, forevermore at the whims of others? He supposed it could be worst. At least he'd come to know his potential brides before being flung into this madness. At any rate, he cared for them both in equal measure, even if they were likely to tear each other's eyes out.

Where Dany had the will and the spirit to keep pace, Margaery possessed the wit and the cunning to match him.

Truth be told-and though he'd never admit it aloud, he was almost fond of Arianne, but that was another can of proverbial worms.

For here in this moment, he found he couldn't take his eyes off _Daenerys._

Sighing, he absently he stroked her face, smiling when she turned her cheek toward his palm.

To his disbelief, she actually gave a small snort.

It was so unladylike and surprising that he nearly guffawed outright, if only because he knew she'd never be caught dead making such a noise in public. Naruto clamped a hand over his mouth, shoulders visibly shaking from the effort of containing his mirth. Daenerys Targaryen wasn't exactly the vulnerable sort,

Really, he couldn't resist poking her.

It was just _too easy._

"Morning, sleepyhead." he whispered, nuzzling her face with a finger. "Time to wake up."

"Careful now," she spoke suddenly, eyes still closed, voice a quiet purr and surprisingly sober for one who _should_ still be sleeping, "I may not be able to kill you, but I can still find a way to make you miserable." Ah, so she was awake, then. Well, that just made him want to poke her all the more! One did not simply taunt the Son of the Stag and expect him to leave you be. Not after a bold claim like that. It was like painting a big red target on one's backside and them firmly telling them not to kick you. How could one resist!

"Is that so?"

Before he could make good on his promise the last Targaryen, her eyes still smoothly shut and for all appearances gone back to sleep, nipped his outstretched finger with her teeth, nearly drawing blood.

"Ouch!" Naruto found himself recoiling with a yelp, but the cry lacked rancor. "You bit me!"

Bright eyes fluttered open and she rose, placing her chin on his shoulder.

"I _did_ warn you." she sighed, supremely smug in her satisfaction.

...you have sharp teeth, ya know." Naruto groused.

The Mother of Dragons offered him a small smile.

"The better to bite you with, _husband."_

The last word sent a silent shiver of excitement through him.

 _Husband._

Not even a day into their newborn alliance and already she'd startled him. They weren't even truly wed yet, and still she called him such. Many things though she was and might yet be, Daenerys Stormborn was not humble, not in the least. She was concerned she'd actually hurt him, but her pride would never allow her to admit that. This was her not-so-subtle way of sounding him out, reaffirming their pact, of checking out his loyalties, searching for second thoughts after the frenzied, frantic coupling of last night.

Oddly enough Naruto found he had none.

"Husband." he rolled the word around on his tongue, testing it, get a feel for the way it tasted. "Aren't we being a bit overeager?"

"Am I?" she replied coyly, fingers trailed the web of scars on his back. "I though we were of one mind on this."

"I'm sure that we are, but-

Not one for mincing words, the Prince craned his head to look back at her and assure here that they were indeed, only to have his lover give him a firm push him back against the pillows. _What?!_ Paranoia flared and for an instant, he thought she was actually trying to smother him as his hated step-mother had tried to do so many times in his youth. But no, she did not thrust his face against the pillow as he'd expected, nor did she hold him there. Instead, she began to trace a series of soft, loving kisses along his back and shoulders. His scars, he realized after a moment's confusion. She was kissing his _scars._

That was...oddly touching.

Invigorated by this surprising display of affection the Son of the Stag writhed upward, taking the the fiery blond in his arms.

After a brief and surprisingly vigorous scuffle, Dany successfully managed to pin him against the mattress by his arms, long enough for her to seat herself firmly in his lap. With a sly, superior smirk she leaned forward and took his now-erect member firmly in hand. Naruto hissed softly and that smirk became a triumphant one.

"You were saying?"

Sly little...!

Refusing to be bested so easily, he surged upward and broke her weakened hold. From there it was a small matter to tackle her back into the thick blankets, grip her firmly by the hips, plant a chaste kiss on her lips and sheathe himself fully in her already moist entrance.

"Oh!"

Daenerys' startled gasp piqued into a moan of surprised pleasure as he entered her and she stretched to accommodate him.

And just like that, the tables were turned.

"Well, that truly depends on you, _wife."_ he deliberately drew out the word as he thrust into her, relishing each pleased sigh that followed, the slight shivers that went through her as he pushed ever deeper into her core and once more made her his. "You acted as if you had me by the balls back there, but!" he bent down, kissing her passionately again, drawing another groan from the Mother of Dragons, "The way I see it, I'm the one who has you at a disadvantage, presently. Please let me know if you have any objections."

"Turn my words against me will you-ah!"

She opened her mouth to continue but all that emerged was a plaintive whimper as he hit a particularly sweet spot. Still, that look of burning defiance in her eyes only aroused him all that much more, promising that no matter how much pleasure she might be in now, there would be a _reckoning_ for this.

The Son of the Stag would absolutely have it no other way.

It was almost as if he'd truly found a match for himself.

"What's wrong? You seemed so chipper before."

"Is that a challenge, my lord?" she hissed.

He hummed a laugh.

"Perhaps."

Somehow, despite her lack of fine silks, despite not having her ever-growing dragons coiled around her, and _despite_ the fact that even now she was moaning beneath him, Daenerys still projected an aura of smoldering authority. Even with her hair a mess from sleep and not so much as a single crown to her name, she still seemed every bit the queen she thought she was, the one she believed she deserved to be. _Let her be queen, t_ he voices whispered to him again. _Let her bear that heavy burden for you so that you might yet be spared the troubles of the realm. Why take up that mantle when someone else is so willing to claim it for you?_

But here, now, the only thing he could truly think of claiming was her.

She must've seen his desire, for something flashed in her dark eyes, and this time, he didn't resist her.

Daenerys eeled out of his grasp and before he could think to stop her, kissed him fiercely, her lower lip caging his between them. Her tongue did not ask for trespass, instead ruthlessly plundering his mouth as she had her way with him. Slim hands placed themselves firmly upon his chest and with a firm shove, pushed him back against the mattress. Not content to be so easily dominated by his lover, Naruto retaliated and hooked his hands against her hips, fingers digging into the creamy expanse of her skin.

Then he flipped her.

"What are you _-oh!"_

Dany uttered a very unladylike squeak of surprise as she found her perspective abruptly upended by the blond bastard and thrown back to the thick covers. In the next instant Naruto spun and she found herself trapped beneath him. There was no violence in the action, no anger, no wrath, but the abruptness of it all left her briefly stunned, momentarily unable to move. Her pale hair splayed out against the pillows, cheeks flushed, lips parted, wide eyes staring up at him, fingers wringing against the sheets.

Naruto shuddered.

She looked so...

...fuckable.

"Gods." he muttered beneath himself, nearly unable to believe what he was feeling in that instant. "I think you were right."

"About?" she gasped out, grinding her hips against him in silent need.

"I might actually _enjoy_ marrying you."

The laughter when it came, caught him completely off guard. It bubbled out of her all at once; a softy merry giggle like the sound of sweet music. Worse, he couldn't tell if she was laughing at him or what he'd just said unwittingly in his heated passion. Naruto decided he wanted to hear more of it. More of her. No this angry stoic woman she'd become, but the girl who was laughing even now, holding her sides and shaking out of sheer mirth. He wanted to hear more. Wanted to hear her, cry out his name.

"What's so funny?"

"You." she said on a sigh, her hand rising to cup his cheek. "You try so hard to push others away, yet when it comes down to it, you crave comfort. Don't you?"

Naruto felt the tips of his ears begin to burn red hot. She'd hit dangerously close to the nail on that one.

"I...don't know what you mean."

"Shush." she reached up for him, arms circling his neck loosely, mouth molding marvelously against his.

Naruto found himself yielding gladly to the kiss and even returning it somewhat, happy for the distraction from those cold, uncomfortable memories. It never occurred to him that she might be actually _trying_ to divert his attention elsewhere until she pushed started doing something incredible with her hips. Naruto found himself half-inclined to let her have her way with him for the time being; watching in fascination as she laid her hands on his chest and began grinding against him in an up and down motion. Her pert breasts seemed to quiver with every bounce, her cries growing more and more insistent in each movement.

"Are you trying to distract me, again?" he ground out, gritting his teeth.

"That depends. Is it working?" she purred, gazing down at him.

"Well, really, that depends-NEVERMIND!"

In any case the Son of the Stag soon found he had other concerns as his body decided it had waited quite long enough for far too long, his release coming quickly. Evidently Daenerys' felt the same. They came together quietly, their shared cries muffled in one another's mouths. The Mother of Dragons toppled forward a moment later and he was there to catch her, her head resting against his heaving chest. In his arms she felt warmer then ever before, as though he were cradling the sun itself to him.

Afterward they lay together, sated, catching their breath.

Daenerys proved the first to recover,

"Are you trying to get me up the spout?" she laughed, rolling off his chest. Her hair seemed to shine in this light, composed of living flame.

"Hardly." Naruto caught himself chasing a smile with a sigh of his own. "I'm not ready to be a father yet. I don't think I could handle it."

"I-

Before she could answer the door slammed open quite suddenly and armed men burst into the room.

The intrusion was so sudden and abrupt that Naruto had killed two before he even realized what was happening; snatching a pair of knives from their hidden place beneath his nearby, he flung one, blade first into a man's eye through his helm, killing him instantly. His second sank to the hilt in another's throat, causing the intruder to drop with a startled gurgle, clutching in vain at the red mist spraying from his torn jugular. By then sense had reasserted itself and he realized these weren't assassins, but his father's guards, easily recognizable by their armor. Good. He would've felt absolutely horrid if he'd slain Ulric just now in a fit of paranoia.

Then he remembered that they'd just broken into his chamber.

"You lot," he began slowly, "Have ten seconds to explain yourselves."

Of the three remaining, their captain stepped forward, warily turning up the plate of his helmet.

"My prince!" He raised a hand in a placating gesture, "Calm yourself, please!"

An uneasy silence pervaded the room.

"What is the meaning of this?" Naruto growled, flinging himself off the bed. "Who sent you here?"

"The King, my lord." the bearded man flinched at the molten red in the blond's stare, "He demands your presence in the throne room at once."

If looks could kill, he and his men would be a pile of charred ashes upon the floor.

"Then he should bloody well know not to have you barge in unannounced!"

A few eyes strayed to Daenerys, who had yet to move from the bed.

"H-He insists, my lord." the captain pleaded.

"Then he'll wait until I'm fully decent." Naruto growled, snatching up his leather jerkin and breeches. "Stupid sods, don't you know to knock when a man's fucking a woman?!"

The guards quailed momentarily, but incredibly, their leader rallied.

"We heard noise and assumed-

"Assumed what?! That we were under attack?!" Naruto rounded on the man with a roar as he tugged on his belt, fraying temper finally slipping its leash. "You didn't even think to knock! How was I to react when armed men burst into my room, hmm?! Because of YOUR actions, two of _your_ men are dead! Enough! Out of my way! I'll take this up with the old man!"

"Sire, we were told to escort-

"I will join him as well." Dany declared suddenly, taking the wind out of his sails.

"The King did not summon you." the captain bristled.

Naruto and Daenerys exchanged a terse, guarded look.

"I _will_ accompany him." her tone brooked no further argument.

"Right. As the lady says, then."

The guards did their duty and escorted them both without any further protest, though Naruto secretly suspected they were bristling inwardly from Dany's defiance, for they followed them at a measured distance. These were truly Baratheon men after all, and she, a Targaryen. No love lost there. Still he was their prince and they at least refrained from openly speaking ill of her in his presence.

It served just as well in the end; because their aloofness kept them from overhearing his and Danerys' shared conversation.

"Why would your father summon you so suddenly?" she whispered aside to him.

The voices rushed in before he could reply, hissing charges.

 _Treason?_

 _An attack?_

 _That damnable Red Woman?_

 _Or perhaps he's finally grown tired of you?_

"Your guess is as good as mine." he forced out.

The Mother of Dragons groaned.

"Oh, this bodes poorly...

As ever, its high arched ceiling took him aback momentarily, if only because he still wasn't accustomed to the sheer grandeur of it after all this time. Braziers of flame crackled upon heavy pillars as he walked past, their scorching fires licking hungrily at the foundations of the room. A strange incense seemed to linger in the air, dulling his senses and heightening his anxiety. He'd scorned the throne room and most of the Red Keep as of late, Still, he did not let the concern he felt show on his face and neither did Daenerys.

For there, perched upon the Iron Throne, Stannis awaited him.

Mercifully, Tyrion was present there beside the King.

Unfortunately so too, was the Red Woman.

And of course, that blasted Littlefinger.

Naruto felt his jaw tighten.

This...boded poorly.

Old paranoia plucked at him unbidden; he found himself considering how long it would take to draw the knife from his boot and rush his father...or the door. With his strength, a few solid blows would surely splinter the solid frame, but at what cost? And would he be able to do in time? He had no armor and no weapons beyond that of his knife. Dany didn't even have that. here was no other unblocked escape from the room that he was aware of, and even with his talents, he didn't relish the idea of having to fight his way out of the Red Keep...

 _'Stop panicking.'_ He berated himself. _'Just breathe. They haven't said anything...yet.'_

Taking a moment to compose himself, he started forward.

Daenerys followed after him, her crisp footfalls echoing beside his in the empty space. Surprisingly, she did not walk ahead of him, nor did she deign to trail behind him as some might. To his disbelief she stayed at right side and matched his pace step for step, even with him in all things. Then she took his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze, all whilst firmly lacing her fingers with his own. Naruto nearly missed his step and stumbled on the spot; it was only the most rigorous act of wills that prevented him from from falling and allowed him to maintain his pace alongside his stoic demeanor.

This very act smacked of rebellion, and he felt his respect for her climb another notch. If she'd meant to reassure him, she'd done a fine job.

Judging by his raised brow and the stern set of his jaw, Stannis didn't take kindly to this oh-so-tender act of solidarity.

The King held his tongue until they'd reached the stairs, his grim expression never wavering.

"Leave us." he commanded of the guards after a moment of silence.

The Kingsguard did as they were bade, turning on the heels and sealing the great door behind them.

Scarce had it closed then Naruto found himself face to face with the full storm his father's wrath. Now, Stannis did not explode into rage, he did not leap from the Iron Throne and condemn him for his deeds, nor did he move to strike him in his fury. This was a cold anger, one he hadn't seen since he was very young and for the first time in decades, the assassin felt a touch of fear. His lord father had never been one to let his emotions rule him, but that look of disappointment etched into that stern visage stung more than words ever could.

"I am disappointed in you." His father declared flatly. "What is the meaning of this treachery?"

Well.

This was off to a stellar start

Daenerys tilted her head.

"The meaning of what, my King...?" she inquired with faux sweetness.

"You know full well what you've done, girl." the King growled.

"Do I, my lord? I was under the impression I didn't."

Naruto bit his lip to stifle a smile.

 _'Oh, you're brave!'_

Had the situation been any less dire, or the need for silence any more impetative, Naruto would've applauded her. She knew precisely what she was doing, and she was going out of her way to do it. To infuriate the brother of the hated Robert Baratheon responsible for the downfall of her family must have been as thrilling to her as ending an enemy was to him. She likely saw it as revenge, no matter how petty it might seem to anyone else. As things stood however, it served only to provoke the King's wrath to new heights.

Where Naruto's veiled insults merely riled Stannis, Daenery's impudence had the King exploding from the Iron Throne, full of sound and fury.

"I should have your tongue cut out for such talk!"

Naruto stepped between them with a growl.

"Touch her and the hand comes off!"

Tyrion must've seen the storm in the eyes of Stannis; because he hurried to intervene before matters could escalate.

"Come now, let us be reasonable about this-

"Quiet, dwarf!

The Lannister bristled at the slight, but didn't contest him.

"Perhaps," Baelish suggested after a moment's pause, "We should hear what the prince has to say and let cooler heads prevail."

Naruto nearly removed Littlefinger's head for his insipid pandering. He was certain the man had a hand in this fiasco, he just couldn't find a way to prove it. Still, the Son of the Stag found himself somewhat relieved to see that the anger in his father's eyes had dulled somewhat when he turned to face him. That bitter, _bitter_ disappointment, however, had not. It still hung there like a shroud, an angry pall threatening to dredge up old, painful memories from his past.

"You are to marry Margaery, yet I find you dallying with this girl...?"

"How in the seven hells did you even find out?" he growled.

"Littlefinger's agents informed me."

Well!

That made things simple!

His hand twitched, itching to strike the little weasel down on the spot for his smug smile.

Bastard! Was he _trying_ to undo him?!

It was only with a supreme effort of will that he restrained himself.

"I had planned on speaking to you of it today," he conceded, "If you hadn't all but _ordered_ me from my bed like an idiot."

"Watch your tongue."

"Or what?" the blond retorted, "You'll cut it off? Don't be a fool and just _listen-_

"He is the Lord of Light's chosen, your father, and your King." Melisandre interjected, her manner smooth as silk, "You should show him the respect he is due...

"Oh, do fuck off." the blond flung up a hand, forestalling her protest. "If I wanted to discuss etiquette with a walking hypocrisy I'd chat up Joffrey." he bit out. "Oh, wait. He's dead. By my hand. For being an idiot." Blue eyes the color of the blackest seas flicked up and down her body, as though deciding where best to place a dagger. "Say, am I sensing a pattern here?"

"Enough!" Stannis barked, returning to his throne. "Melisandre. This matter is no longer your concern. Return to your chambers. I will summon you when I have need of you."

To her credit, the Red Woman didn't protest. She sketched a humble bow and retreated.

"As my lord wills it."

No sooner had she departed than that burning gaze found Naruto once more.

"I don't know why you keep her around."

"The matter is not up for debate." Stannis declared.

"Yes! It is!" Naruto shot back. "I have a very good reason for-

"No. No more stalling. Your wedding shall be on the morrow at dawn." he declared stonily, his voice as rigid and unbending as the throne in which he sat. "You will take Margaery Tyrell as your wife, and the Targaryen girl," for here his gaze did pass dismissively over Daenerys, "Will be given to the North and become a ward of the Starks. She won't be any trouble to anyone, there."

Daenerys stiffened, and sensing an impeding outburst, Naruto rushed in.

"Father-

"I said enough!" Stannis's voice cracked out at him like a whip, eliciting the slightest of flinches from his son. "You will do as you are told. Your silver-tongue won't help you, this time."

Naruto sighed, feeling all his expectations crumble.

"Then perhaps my blade will." he growled.

Then he climbed the steps to meet him.

Slowly at first, then with increasing resolve.

Stannis followed his ascent with a wary eye, watching intently as his heir cleared the roughly hewn stairs.

One of the Kingsguard moved to stop him.

Much to his detriment.

Naruto's fist cracked outwards with impossible speed and struck the man dead on in his breastplate, dealing him a solid blow and denting the gold-painted metal with an explosive crunch. The Kingsguard didn't so much stagger as he did soar; flung away like a rag doll, to crash into one of the pillars at the far end of the chamber. Then, his broken but still very much _living_ body suffered the misfortune of slumping into the brazier below said pillar with a dull clang. Unable to move due to their shattered spine, he began to burn. The shrieks that followed curdled the very blood.

No one paid them any heed.

Now it was the Son of the Stag who gazed down at his father, gaze boiling with wrath.

"You should heed the counsel of your advisers, your grace." he spoke with limpid sincerity. "It would not do to dismiss her so easily."

Stannis scowled.

"I have received no such counsel."

"You are being counseled at this very moment." Naruto warned, his voice taking on an uncharacteristic edge, jagged and cutting. "I suggest you heed it lest you make a mistake. It would truly be unfortunate were we to need another King so soon after Joffrey's untimely passing. The nation would indeed mourn you."

Daenerys hissed quietly beneath her breath.

She hadn't expected it either. This was as blatant a threat as they came; a promise of complete and utter destruction if the King didn't heed his words and counsel. Naruto didn't even have to draw a blade to convey his intention, those words carried the dire implications more surely than any weapon ever could. The kind of threat no man-even a prince-would ever dare utter for fear of being executed on the spot. Yet Naruto had simply thrown down the gauntlet without a second thought, daring his progenitor to pick it up.

Stannis could barely believe it, either.

A certain part of him was almost proud that his heir possessed such courage; a resolve that would not bend, a will that refused to break. The rest was furious that the young man would so openly defy him. Who was he to go against him like this? Who was he to think he could so easily usurp him, his will, with a word?!

"Are you threatening me, boy?" he growled, rising to tower over his son, "I made you what you are."

"You're right. I _am_ what you made me." Naruto acknowledged with a curt nod. "Be thankful I've learned to be better. Now _you_ listen. I know you despise the Targaryens, but that gives you no right-no right, do you hear me-to simply exile Daenerys. She," and here he did fling a finger at the Mother of Dragons, "Is not here to usurp you, she is _not_ here to take your throne, and she is _not_ going to be exiled on my watch. I will not have it, do you hear me? _I will not have it._ Not just that, but she has dragons. Dragons, you old coot! They grow larger every day! And you want to throw them-her!-away for no reason! With those beasts on our side the whole world would bow to us! And you want to remove their mother?! Are you mad?!"

Father and Son stared one another down, neither willing to cave.

Then, remarkably, the King did just that.

"What would you have me do, then?"

Naruto sighed.

"If I might offer a suggestion, my king?" Tyrion implored. "I believe the lad has a solution. You ought to listen."

Naruto shot the dwarf a grateful look, but his turmoil remained.

Part of him had always known it would come to this.

The idea of having more than wife had always been an alien one to him. If not for Littlefinger's-or was it truly Varys behind all this-manipulations he never would have given it so much as a second thought. Even now he only recently begun to consider it even a remotely viable option at all. but this was the only path he could see that didn't end in exile or death for him or those he cared for.

Exhaling deeply, he uttered the words that would seal his fate.

"I propose that I do as the Targaryen's once did." he said.

"And what, pray tell, is that?"

"I shall marry them both."

Daenerys stiffened.

 _"What?"_

It was both what she had wanted, and entirely unexpected. That he'd argued for her and against her exile was wonderful, but marrying her _and_ another? Thinking it was one thing, hearing it another, and learning that it was to be her fate was something else entirely.

What was she to think of this?

"...very well." Stannis's sudden concession drew a baffled blink from all, "You've made your point." feeling weary indeed, he waved him on. "Marry the Targaryen girl as well then, if you're so smitten with her. But on your head be the consequences. The wedding will be tomorrow, you _will_ be married, and then you _will_ go to the Twins to witness the wedding as promised. Gods take you."

Naruto bowed.

"As you command, Father."

Genuflecting, he turned to depart.

"Son." Stannis's voice rang out at his back.

Naruto paused.

"Yes?"

Stannis was silent for a long time, gazing at the rigid back of his progeny.

On some level, he remained conflicted. Oh, he acknowledged the boy for his clever manipulations, of course. He'd found the best path for both parties, if not necessarily the easiest. The boy had the will to face him down in full sight of others and not retreat. For that, if nothing else, he had his respect. Respect wouldn't save him a second time. He'd just made it clear that he had his own ambitions, his own desires. And should those desires ever fall into conflict with that of the realm...

"If you ever threaten me like that again, you will die."

The blond turned and offered a humble bow.

"Perish the thought, your grace."

Turning his back to his father, he marched to the doors, flung them open, and stormed out.

Leaving all behind.

"Well." Tyrion murmured darkly to himself, "That went better than expected." It had indeed, far, far better than he'd expected it do. He'd thought swords might be drawn and blood spilled, that a prince might well yet become a king. "Come my lady," he said, offering her his hand, "I shall escort you to your chambers. You have a wedding to prepare for. I'm sure we can find something for you to wear."

Daenerys could only manage a nod.

None noticed the hidden smile on the visage of Petyr Baelish.

 _Everything was falling into place._

* * *

 _(...Meanwhile...)_

* * *

Everything was coming undone.

Margaery Tyrell knew this.

Just not how to stop it.

Even as she read the missive, her mind was racing, plotting, planning. Her position, once so secure, had been eroded in a matter of moments, and she hadn't even been told. She'd had to learn of it through a note from one of her grandmother's spies and it hurt, it hurt, it hurt far more than it should; more than she could have expected. The missive wounded her far more than words ever could, and she found herself sinking into her chair with a repressed groan, fighting tears.

She should have known.

She should have glimpsed her ruin in the Targaryen girl's eyes when she was first presented to the court. It all seemed so long ago now. Just as she first sensed something amiss when the Prince had argued so fervently against her being thrown back into the sea. She'd thought him merely chivalrous, against the idea of a woman being harmed. Clearly, she'd been mistaken. Not just in refusing to meet with the Mother of Dragons, but for allowing this dalliance to become...this. Somehow Daenerys Targaryen had gotten her claws into him, she and her dragons both, and now she feared she would be losing him to her entirely.

Part of her suspected the Spider had a hand in all this, or perhaps even that wretched Littlefinger, with his gutless smile.

Someone was scheming to undo them all, but for the life of her, she couldn't figure out who.

Someone was sowing dissent in their ranks and chaos in their hearts.

Someone was doing a very good job of it, at that.

It no long mattered, she supposed.

She could no longer argue this.

By rights, the Baratheon's were fulfilling their promise; she would indeed be married to the Prince and-with luck!-become the next queen. They had neglected to mention, however, that Naruto would be taking Daenerys also as his wife. It smacked of disrespect, and worse, it _angered_ her. She had thought they had an understanding. That he cared for her. She'd even found herself slowly starting to care for him. He was a good man, an excitable one perhaps, but a kind one, and honest to a fault.

Perhaps that was why this hurt, thus.

The idea of sharing him with another should repulse her, and by some measure, it did.

Well, she certainly had a way to remedy that, didn't she?

Steeling herself, she crumpled the note in her hand.

 _One way or another he would be hers._

 **A/N: And the plots doth THICKEN! there you have it! We're back in business! Also, *sniff* I'm afraid I have some bad news. Game of Thrones is ENDING! That's right, they've confirmed that there are only two seasons left and they're going to shorten the amount of episodes in each. WHY?! Why you do this?!**

 **So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **(Preview(s)**

 _Naruto exhaled softly._

 _"Goodbye, my friend."_

 _And laid the flowers down._

 **R &R! =D**


	8. The Orange Wedding Part II

**A/N: I PRESENT TO YOU MASS ELEVEN THOUSAND WORD CHAPTER!**

 **Also, t** **here's a small rant incoming here and for that, I apologize!**

 **ALRIGHT!**

 **I've had it up to here with a number of foul-mouthed people complaining that I don't finish my stories. Those of you who have been polite about it, I understand your pain. To those of you haven't been...Have YOU tried writing with one hand? Hmm? Its not easy! Add to that the fact that I've been working two jobs until VERY recently, and I've been on a bit of a time crunch. I understand criticism and flak, I embrace it even, truly I do. But NOT when people fling oaths and curses at me!**

 **I don't get paid to do this, folks. I write SOLELY for you, the readers. Not myself. I don't make one penny off all this. In fact, as I mentioned before, I gave up a hefty source of income just so I could be around more to pump out chapters. And please don't ask about the hand. Long story there.**

 **That's right.**

 **I LEFT one of my jobs just so I could write more for you guys and gals on this fine site.**

 **I'm also mentoring other authors, being a beta reader, not to mention co-writing!**

 **In short, all of this takes up a lot of bloody time to say the very least!**

 **Ponder on that for a moment, those of you who would be mean.**

 **SO because I don't want to keep you all waiting anymore...**

 **...something is better than nothing, no?**

 **And I say again, NONE. OF. MY. STORIES. ARE. ABANDONED!**

 **RANT OVER.**

 **Wanted to get this out tonight after the episode came out. It just felt right, ya know? I've been working on this chapter among others for awhile now and I didn't want to rush it. Remember, the "Orange Wedding" is divided into three parts as it is, and this is the second. I wanted it to feel like a Game of Thrones episode, ya know? And speaking of episode...**

 **ALSO HOLY CRAP THAT LAST ONE!**

 **Also, I apologize for taking so long, but THIS TOOK A LONG TIME TO WRITE. And for that, I apologize again. I wanted everything to flow just so, and as a result it ended up taking far longer than I intended.**

 **But I'm back!**

 **WHY HELLLLO MY DEAR GAME OF THRONES AND NARUTO FANS! Thought I was dead, did you? Thought I was gone, hmm?! NOPE! I'm back again after my birthday and feeling better than ever! VIVA LA REQUEST YEARS! Let the stories pour forth like sweet, sweet wine! No hiatus for me! Nothing will put me down! I will ever work to strive onward and upward!**

 **Job situation's stabilized a bit, I'm back to one job and updates should be regular again. Thank the lord! I'm sure you all know how it feels to work twice as hard for twice as long. It ain't fun!** **I've got a regular update schedule for stuff now, ergo, updates at least once a week. Look forward to it!**

 **ALSO!**

 **Since this IS Game of thrones, there are naughty bits ahoy, here!**

 **Language as well!**

 **YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!**

 **If you don't like that, feel free to skip them as they appear.**

 **Also, this chapter uses multiple viewpoints. What does that mean? You'll see, its nothing major, I assure you =D What views are those, you ask? Major characters of course! And some old favorites come back into play.**

 **Off we go!**

 **And yes, I take a small liberty here in regards to Daenerys and her retinue.**

 **I'm sure you'll like it!**

 **Bear in mind that a certain character is very, VERY cross in this chapter...**

 _"The Lannisters send their regards."_

 _~?_

 **The Orange Wedding (Part II)**

 _The sun sulked low in the sky over King's Landing._

Like a recalcitrant child not quite yet ready to rise, the great fiery orb peeked over the horizon with great hesitation and reluctance, as though it weren't keen to bring on the dawn of a new day. One might even be forgiven for thinking it melancholy. After all today would prove to be a day among days. A date that, for better or worse, would forever live on in the hearts and minds of the people. Bards would sing songs of this day, and many a scholar would inevitably tell their own tales in the years hereafter as opinion and rumor warped the story but here, today, this moment would live forever. When one looked back and asked how it all began, all would say here.

It started with the dawn.

Here, in the wee hours before waking, the quiet before the storm, all lay still.

Well, _nearly_ all.

Though even the lowliest of beggars were just only now beginning to stir from their beds, the sky was already teeming with life. One had but to gaze up at the Red Keep to see the dragons wheeling overhead. Drogon, _Rhaegal_ , and Viserion, each impossible to miss as they circled and banked overhead, calling to one another. On occasion, one would make a dive for the water, snatching up an unlucky fish or gull who dared too close. Fresh air and freedom had done wonders for their growth; Drogon was already nearly large enough to ride, and his siblings weren't far behind in that. In the coming months they'd grow large indeed.

As though spurred from its stupor by their cries, the sun finally rose and with it marked, the day of the prince's wedding.

It was to be a day of celebration, a union not seen since the heydays of the Targaryens. All told it had proven a massive undertaking, planning such an event with little more than a day to spare. Thankfully those handed the task proved themselves worthy of it and prepared a grand event the like of which none could imagine. Nearly all the nobles were invited to attend, and more than a few peasant folk on the prince's behalf. This didn't sit nearly so well with the upper class, the latter of whch were told to suck it up or sod off. Regardless, the wedding, and the festivities that followed, would commence soon.

Indeed, the whole of Westeros itself seemed to wait with bated breath.

None more so than Petyr Baelish.

Years of painstaking plotting and scheming had led to this moment. Seeds planted so long ago had at long last borne fruit. Pieces edged across the board were finally in position. Here on the day of what would prove to be a wedding among weddings, Littlefinger deemed himself ready to give the realm one final push and watch the chaos unfold. A small smile plucked at his mouth as he overlooked the sordid, sprawling expanse of Flea Bottom from his room in Red Keep. So small, those below. So insignificant. So petty. So easily swayed. All it took was a rumor here, an act of violence there, and one had them eating out of their hand. Or he very soon would.

Mere hours from now the wedding would commence.

Ah, and what a wedding it would be!

He had only to give the order.

On a certain level, Littlefinger knew he owed his successes thus far to luck as much as he did skill. Make no mistake, he counted himself _incredibly_ fortunate to have progressed to this point in his plan without losing life or lirmb. Days, weeks, months, _years_ of effort to maneuver spent to maneuver himself into his present position in King's Landing. Bending the ears of those who considered themselves his betters-and there were many-had been no mean feat; coin and influence were required. Years spent clawing and scraping his way up the ladder of chaos to stand where he stood now.

All of that arduous painstaking progress had nearly been undone by Stannis's unexpected triumph at the battle of Blackwater.

In an instant everything was knocked askew and he'd found himself scrambling to recover. Joffrey slain in battle, Tywin cut off from the capital, Cersei and her children ripped away from the Iron Throne. All in the blink of an eye. A fell alliance between Baratheon, Stark, and Tyrell. Who could have foreseen such a thing? He'd been cautious after that, waiting days, weeks even before making a move. Stannis was a well known quantity in King's Landing, as was his heretical faith in the Lord of Light. His heir was another matter.

Naruto.

That blasted, insufferable boy!

Time and time again he'd nearly undone everything. Time and time again, Baelish found himself scrambling to compensate. Adjust. His kindness was matched only by his brutality. His wiles, only by cynicism. The latter had actually been a stroke of luck for him. He'd made a foolish remark and he'd capitalized on it. Brought from rumbling seas, Daenerys Targaryen should have been his undoing. Instead? He'd befriended the Mother of Dragons! Worse, the blond bastard somehow convinced his father to let him marry her and the Tyrell girl both! Thankfully there were ways to remedy that. Better yet, he knew the boy wouldn't kill him outright; if only for the suspicion his death would cast upon him. That alone had proved his saving grace. Now he need only keep a weather eye out for assassins.

It was almost a shame to take Naruto out the Game, really. A pity, even, to rid himself of a worthy foe.

Ah, well. Such was the way of life.

Men would always fall to their baser nature. But not him. No, he was above such petty grievances.

Everything would be his.

Today.

Yes, it began today.

It...

 _The attack came suddenly._

It was not a knife in the dead of night that claimed Littlefinger's life, no rain of arrows in the street, nor even an ambush in the darkness of his quarters. The reaper came for him quickly and quietly; neither in the form of raven nor dove but in the softest of whispers. Not with a shout, but a sigh. Thee was no proclamation, no warning, nothing to herald his last moments beyond that of the bottle in his hand, the brandy within, and the ever present plots swirling in his mind. He exhaled quietly, reveling in the chaos to come, took another sip of wine, made to inhale and...

 _"What?"_

...quite abruptly, he found couldn't breathe.

All sense and thought tumbled out of him in disbelief; a trembling hand rose, alarmed to find himself bleeding from the nose. An alarming weakness seized hold of him and he stumbled, clutching at the wall with his good hand for support even as he clung to his goblet. Goblet? His eyes bulged as his lungs labored, glaring in disbelief at the tainted drink. Poison? It must be. No! He'd been so careful! He'd checked everything for days! Weeks! So how was this happening?! Antidote! He had to make it to his shelf, find the right one, find the...

"Urk!"

In the light of the early morn, the shadow of death fell over Littlefinger. Air stole away from his lungs and he found himself coughing. Choking. His throat seized and his lungs spasmed anew, grasping at oxygen that denied him. The goblet tumbled loose out of his grasp and clattered to the floor, staining the rug blood red as he pounded at the door. Moment's later he joined it on the floor, his muscles betraying him in their death throes. By some miracle he still retained enough strength to raise his gaze, fingers curling against the damp carpet in his last moments. All his clever plans, all his plots, all his schemes, everything. All was forgotten in that instant.

He soon found himself wishing he hadn't looked.

For it was at this moment that the solid wood frame eased open and his would-be killer entered the room, followed by a lone guard. No. Not a guard. The man was a sellsword. A known one at that. Had he possessed his faculties he might have recognized him. But his name escaped him here in his final breaths. He half-expected to see the prince there beside him, gloating over him in his defeat. Instead he peered up at a _woman_ through blurry eyes, darkness creeping in at the edges of his vision. Trembling fingers fumbled for his dagger and a boot crunched down on his hand, stifling them. Littlefinger couldn't even bring his aching lungs to scream. He could only stare, eyes bulging.

"You...?!"

Clad in a thin gown the color of amber roses, his killer padded across the room towards him, nimbly evading the growing puddle of wine and blood spreading from his body as she did so. Arriving at her destination, she crouched before him and reached down, cradling his pallid visage in her hand.

"Hello, Lord Baelish." Arianne Martell smiled at him, a thin, cruel gesture that didn't quite reached her eyes. "Please, don't get up on my account."

Blood frothed from his lips, indicative of his disbelief.

"Don't look so surprised." she hummed. "Poisoning you was no easy feat. Very costly, even. The Tears of Lys were a dear expense. As I'm sure you're well aware."

Littlefinger was very much aware; even now he could feel the powerful toxins eating through his intestines, leaving him to shudder in agony.

"No doubt you are wondering why I would go to such lengths." the dusky woman mused aloud, uncaring of the spy's plight. "You see, the love of a woman is a powerful thing," "In the end, it all comes down to that one person or persons you care for. When a man truly loves a woman she becomes his weakness. When a woman truly loves a man, he becomes her strength. Her life. Her very reason for living. And sometimes," cold, dark eyes flicked away from the ledge and back to Petyr's trembling form, watching intently as the last of his life crept away from him, "We do terrible things for those we love, and they, us. This is called exchange of power. Have you ever truly loved anyone, Littlefinger? Yes?" she tilted her head, considering. "Have you ever been loved in return? No, I thought not. You see it is _love_ that compels me to do this. You are a thorn in my love's side, one he has been unable to pluck. So here I am. Plucking it for him, while he remains unaware. And here we are. No one will know. They will think a sudden sickness took you. Not uncommon for the times."

Quietly serene, the princess reached down, cupping his chin in her hand for one final, lasting moment.

"Come now," she soothed. "Look at me. Yes, there we are. That's it. Give me your final breath."

Littlefinger managed a weak, rasping gurgle as the blood pooled and bubbled in his throat.

"I do not hate you, Lord Baelish." she declared softly, kissing his forehead. "After all...

 _'No!'_ his mind raged here at the last. _'I can't die! I deserve more! My plans...I..._

Her hand fell, and a crushing weight seized his chest, his vision fading.

...chaos is a ladder."

 _Darkness._

* * *

 _(...)_

* * *

Bronn loved the sound of gold.

There was just something about the telltale clink of countless coins jiving together in a pouch that spoke to a man. Stirred him. Gold ran the world, after all. You bought food with it, fucked for the stuff, even killed for it. With enough gold you could live in comfort and excess to the last of your days. He wasn't motivated by greed, however. No, surely not. He might be a cutthroat, but he knew which way the wind was blowing. The Lion's time had come and gone. Now were the days of the Stag, the Wolf, the Dragon, the Rose, and the Viper. So long as the Stag sat the Iron Throne, there his loyalties would lie. Thanks to the Prince he lived well, ate well, was paid well, and allowed to do as he pleased for the most part. _That_ earned his loyalty, if not outright friendship.

This unpleasant task was merely another part of that loyalty.

The sweet reward of being paid for a hard day's work aside, _today's_ reward had proven particularly satisfying for one; after all, it wasn't every day someone paid him to help snuff out an evil little bugger like Littlefinger. Annoying little twit. Bastard had it coming for months now, but no one had been able to uproot him for fear of being made a culprit. Until now. Better yet, this small act required no change of allegiance on his part. He hadn't even needed to swing his sword but merely stand watch and make certain no one witnessed the crime. Again, an easy task. Littlefinger was almost universally disliked these days. As far as Bronn was concerned the Martell girl had the right of it, ending him before the war started again. Petyr Baelish had been a thorn in his benefactor's side for to long now, one that needed to be plucked.

 _And plucked him they had._

There would be a brief fuss as King's Landing tried to puzzle out Littlefinger's death of course, but it would pass. Qyburn's "inspection" would inevitably fail to produce any incriminating evidence and eventually interest would fade. Not a bad maester, that one. Knew his craft through and through. Bit creepy, though. Still, he was loyal and undoubtedly an ally. He also understood that before one could usher in the new, the old must be put to rest. As far as Bronn was concerned, that made him a friend in his book.

"You're smiling, sellsword."

Drawn from his reverie, the mercenary stifled a small smirk.

He'd almost forgotten Arianne was still with him.

"Aye." he admitted, a spring in his step as they entered her chambers. "S'pose I'm in a good mood."

"You don't regret your part in all this?"

The sellsword laughed as he eased the door shut behind her, careful to thumb the latch as he did so. Wouldn't do to have someone barging in, after all. Might give them the wrong idea. After a moment's consideration he favored the princess with a nod. "Eh, Baelish was a cunt. Better to get rid of him sooner rather than later."

"Agreed!" A peal of bell-like laughter rang through the air as she gave a light twirl. "Who better to devour a snake than a viper herself?"

"Careful now." Bronn admonished, bracing his back against the dor. "We don't want to get blood all over your pretty dress. "

Arianne blinked, then glanced down, noting the smears of blood on her hands.

"Ah. You're right, I suppose. I must wash." her gaze flicked him up and down invitingly as she stepped toward the near the southernmost corner of the room. "Care to join me?"

Bronn nearly choked on his own spit.

"Tempting, but I'm afraid not."

"Your loss, then."

"Suppose so."

For her part the Dornish princess didn't reply; at least, not with words. Instead she paced away towards her bed and without further aplomb, removed her bloodied dress and flung it across the room. She wasn't wearing anything underneath. A lesser man might've averted his eyes at such spectacle. Bronn felt no such inclination. Arianne was a beautiful young woman-downright gorgeous, really. Wild and wanton like any Dornish lass, a temptress beyond compare. Probably a hellcat in the sheets, too. Under any other circumstance he'd be more than happy to hop into bed with her. In this case however, caution outweighed desire. She was very much a creature of passion and he'd seen what that passion could drive her to do. Besides, the prince seemed to favor her to some extent and who knew where _that_ would go?

No, had no intention of bedding _this_ viper.

Didn't mind watching her, though.

A few tense moments passed as he watched Arianne draw herself a bath, each movement deliberately drawn out, long and lingering, the light trickling through he window to accentuate her every curve. When she finally slipped into the basin it was almost a relief; if only because he could no longer fully glimpse all of her. Even then the sight of her glistening form nearly drove him mad with desire. She knew it, too. Damn. How long _had_ it been since he'd had a good tumble? Perhaps he ought to pay a visit to the brothel before the wedding. Might do him some good.

Her coy smile was no less threatening.

"If you so much as breathe a word of this to anyone-

"You'll gut me, right. I know." he mimed a silencing motion across his throat. "Not a word."

"Good."

And why should he speak of this?

His coin pouch was already full to bursting, thank to her generous donation. Add that to his already substantial pay and he was well on his way to amassing a small fortune. Not nearly as much as the vaunted Lannisters or any of the other noble houses, but it was a start and a fine one at that. At this rate, he'd be able to afford his own hold this time next year. A far cry from where he'd been at the beginning of all this.

"Tell me about him." Arianna commanded suddenly, running a wet cloth across her breasts. "Naruto. The prince, I mean. Who was he before?"

"Before?"

"Before all _this."_ the princess gestured expansively at the grand room. "I've heard the stories, but I suspect few know the truth. Unlike you."

Ah, and therein lay the rub.

"Don't know much about him really." Bronn confessed, choosing his words carefully, his eyes taking on a distant look. "You'd have to ask Tyrion for the whole story. Alright, alright." At her scathing look he held up his hands and continued. "I'll tell you what I do know. He came to King's Landing one day with a band of sellswords out of the blue. Just waltzed right in, like he owned the damn place. Demanded an audience with Cersei." he paused, noting Arianne's faint smile at the mention of the former queen, "Next I knew he was meeting with that pretentious little twat Joffrey. Managed to track me down a bit after and made me an offer I couldn't refuse."

"What was the offer?" Arianne tilted her head, toweling off her shoulders.

"Defy him and die, or help him and live." the sellsword deadpanned. "Fucking obvious what I chose. Why ask me all this? Planning to write a fucking memoir or something?"

"There's no need for language."

"Isn't there?" the mercenary snapped, an ember of anger igniting in his chest. He'd heard enough to know where this was going. "Way I see it, this ends one of two ways. You waste your time trying to get that boy to love you, and you end up dead."

Arianne scoffed.

"And the other?"

"Maybe he takes you on as a mistress or a concubine." Bronn relented reluctantly, not liking the sudden spark of bemusement in her eyes at his admission. "If you're lucky, you'd get a bastard off him a few years down the road and he acknowledges 'em. Its the best you could hope for. He's already taking two wives-don't think he's keen to bring in a third." He followed the sly temptress intently as she emerged, dripping from the bath, all traces of desire burned away by the realization of what she intended. "My advice? Don't do it. Don't fuck with him or he'll put your pretty little head on a spike."

"You claim to know him?"

"No, but I've seen enough to know he's not right in the head." the warrior countered, pushing himself off the wall as his benefactor slipped into a silk robe the color of gilded roses. "You don't get it. He's not like you and I. He isn't motivated by greed or even lust. He hears things. See things. Voices. Visions. Now, I don't know if they're real and quite honestly I don't care, but they're real enough for him. A noble you can predict. Even a vicious noble. But a madman? Who's to say he won't wring your neck if your little plan goes sideways?"

Arianne pretended to consider his words. "If you're that afraid of him, then why stay?"

"Riches. Greed, mostly. Probably too stubborn for my own good."

"Tell me, what did he promise you?"

"For starters? _Casterly Rock."_

Arianne actually blinked.

"A fine prize, if true."

"Trust me, that one keeps his word." Bronn replied, moving to follow her as she made for the door, then opening it for her. "I know _that_ much."

"You're a loyal man."

"Loyal?" the mercenary barked a harsh laugh. "Me? Maybe. I'm just good at reading people."

"Well said."

"After you, my lady."

He paused on the threshold, risking one last look at the grand chamber before departing. From the window he could barely see the dragons circling the spires, hear them calling to one another. This. _This_ was what he wanted? Was that truly the sum of his meager ambitions? It never ceased to amaze him how easily lords and ladies took such things for granted. Half the folk in Flea Bottom would kill for a room like this. Once upon a time _he_ would have killed for a place like this. In all likelihood he still would. Knighted or not, he was still a simple man, through and through. He had simple needs, simple wants, simple desires. Casterly Rock. Gods, it _would_ be a feat to have a place like that. One way or another, he was _getting_ that bloody castle.

If he didn't get himself poisoned first.

Or thrown off a cliff.

Or torn to shreds.

Or set afire.

As luck would have it, he wasn't the only one thinking of fire...

* * *

 _(...)_

* * *

Fire and Blood.

Daenerys found herself recalling the words of her house as the dawn broke; as she gazed upon her own reflection. Odd that she found herself thinking of them now. Because she scarcely recognized the woman staring back at her. A stranger in a strange land, wearing a strange dress, her long pale hair beautifully combed and left to cascade down her back. The dress itself was a marvel of work, a seamless blend of fabric and armor both. Most might balk at the idea of wearing such a thing to a wedding, but the Dany found she rather approved of the choice. She looked resplendent.

Fierce.

Beautiful.

Whether through deliberate design or simple oversight on their part, Daenerys was inclined to believe the former. For the dressmaker had crafted her wedding dress in the colors of house _Targaryen;_ a deeply flowing masterpiece cascading in the colors of black and red as no other before it. Bearing a moderate neckline and an open back, its make might've been forgiven for simply leaving their craft there, but instead they'd gone a step further. A great, red, three-headed dragon roared back at her from the black of her dress. Stitched in where the armored corset met fabric, its three jaws brimming with stitched flame that seemed to curl up towards pauldrons sheathing her shoulders before tapering off into the short train of her dress.

It was an outright slap in the King's face and a masterwork, no two ways about it.

She adored it.

Still, it was an absolute _chore_ to wear with the armored bits.

What would Viserys think of her now? Ah, her dear dead brother so long forgotten. He'd probably laugh at her and call her a fool, the insipid little twit. Even in death, he served a purpose. What a fool he'd been, allowing others to lead him on as he had. An ugly notion reared its head, then.

Did that make her a fool as well?

Mildly disturbed by the path her thoughts had taken, she quashed that traitorous image and returned to her reflection, both metaphorical and physical. A hair had fallen out place and she reached up to pull it back, only to find herself ruthlessly chastised by her handmaiden. An irritated noise escaped her lips and Missandei's hand tapped her palm firmly, reminding her not to slouch lest she create wrinkles in her dress. Even so, a touch of annoyance lingered beneath the surface as Irri and Doreah fussed over her, for as her trusted friends made their last adjustments Daenerys finally felt her temper slip its leash.

"Blast it!"

"Khaleesi, you must stay _still!"_

The Mother of Dragons groaned aloud.

"Enough! I've been _still_ for an hour, now!"

With an indignant shake of her shoulders The Last Targaryen stepped down from the pedestal and stormed toward the balcony. Missandei let her go with a patient sigh, for which Daenerys was grateful. Everything was spinning and she desperately needed a moment to think. To breathe. There had hardly been such ceremony for her first wedding. She certainly hadn't expected a _second_ in this lifetime! The thought nearly stole all her courage away, and she found herself clutching the railing in a death grip. Distantly, she beheld her dragons wheeling about the high spires of the Red Keep. Well, two at least. Where was-

 _Oh!_

A breath burst out of Daenerys as Drogon abruptly made his presence known in typical fashion; a large dark shadow descending on the balcony, rearing up before her with such force that his landing blew her hair back. Alighting effortlessly before her, the young dragon beat his wings once and tucked them inward. His snout still wet with the blood of a fresh kill, her 'child' cocked his head and regarded her with a questioning trill. Dany blinked, taking a moment to gather her wits about her as she began to stroke his long, powerful neck. Gods, he was getting big. Nearly too big for the balcony, even. His brothers weren't far behind. They'd grown all too fast once they'd reached the south. There was endless room for them to roam here, to hunt, even and so long as their prey wasn't human, none dared strike at them for fear of offending the crown. She'd be able to ride Drogon soon, no, perhaps he was large enough already...

Ride him where?

Part of her longed to simply climb on his back and fly away from all this; far, far away.

Absently she caressed his frills, contemplating all that had led to this moment.

It had seemed like such a grand idea at the outset, yet now...

When Missandei took hold of her arm, she nearly started.

"Come, your grace." she soothed. "We need to get you ready."

Daenerys frowned slightly.

"I'm not the Queen."

The former slave arched an eyebrow, the ghost of a smile plying at her lips.

"Not yet."

 _Point taken._

Warmed by her friend's words, she reluctantly allowed herself to be guided away from Drogon and back towards the balcony, but a thorn of hesitation pricked at her mind and held her captive. She wasn't accustomed to such finery, let alone armor. Could that be it? Was that the root of her anxiety? Or was it something more sinister? She shuddered to think of it. Her reflection mirrored the motion and she scrutinized her doppleganger with dark intensity. She _appeared_ flawless. That didn't matter. She was a Targaryen. She needed to do better than flawless.

"This is ridiculous. I look absurd."

Missandei clicked her tongue in disagreement.

"Nonsense. The Prince will adore you."

"Will he truly like this?"

"Of course, Khaleesi." Irri hastened to add.

"He would be a fool not to." Doreah scoffed in agreement.

 _'Hmm.'_ Daenerys reflected. _'A fool he may be, but he's **my** fool.'_

Regarding herself in the mirror once more, she took a moment to preen.

It should have galled her to admit it, but Daenerys found she actually cared for the bastard. She enjoyed his company and all the chaos that came with it. He wasn't some self-righteous ponce as she'd initially been lead to believe. He was a warrior. Like her he'd fought for all that he'd had and more; he'd made his enemies tremble and won the right to stand where he stood now. Yet despite this he wasn't cruel; didn't delight in violence and vice as others might. Time and time again he'd proven himself gentle. Silly at times perhaps, but still gentle.

She might even come to love him someday as she'd loved her last husband.

Her heart wrenched painfully then, not at the thought, but at the memory of what she'd nearly had. Of what had been taken from her. Khal Drogo he was not _-nor could anyone hope to ever be-_ yet she found herself strangely content with the knowledge that Naruto would soon be hers. _Hers._ Regardless of what that Tyrell woman would say or have her believe. That was a bridge she would have to cross of burn soon, but for now she felt oddly a peace. She'd chosen this so perhaps that was why she felt so at ease. No one had forced her hand, rather she'd entered into this union of her own volition.

Here, now, she stood proud, a far cry from the terrified girl she'd been that day.

She'd insisted on keeping her retinue in spite of the trouble it would cause and in a remarkable show of humility, Naruto had indulged her. Missandei was the most recent "acquisition" from that old life. Well, stolen from it, actually. It had been one of her last acts before she'd been abducted and dragged to Westeros; if she couldn't bring an army of Unsullied than the least she could do was free one slave. Ser Jorah had been more than happy to swing his sword for her in that regard. Kraznys mo Naklo's frozen face fixed on a spike, ah, now that was a still pleasant memory. He'd been a loathsome little man, and his death had given her no end of pleasure.

Speaking of Mormont...

Pivoting, Daenerys risked a glance at the door, where a lone man stood guard.

Said man hadn't spoken a word all day.

Jorah's face held incredible longing as he gazed upon her; although he'd been permitted to attend the day's festivities, his fate remained uncertain. He would likely be sent off to the Wall if the King had his way. Not so, if the Prince had his say. Perhaps the latter was for the best. She was sad to see him go, but she could see how a man who sworn himself to her and her alone might be viewed as a threat in the eyes of King's Landing. Only time would tell if he might be permitted to stay. Rumor had it he might even be pardoned for his crimes, perhaps even allowed to rejoin his house. She wasn't sure he would, given the chance.

But enough about such sorrowful things. Today was her day.

Pausing, she took one last glance in the mirror.

She _felt_ like a queen.

 _"Shall we begin?"_

* * *

 _(...)_

* * *

The Rose stood in full bloom.

Margaery Tyrell quietly ignored the nattering of her maids, lost in her own thoughts as they added the finishing touches to her gown.

Her mind lay decidedly elsewhere.

 _Today._

Today would change everything, or condemn her to a life of misery. That was all there was to it. One or the other. She would either have her way in the hours to come or, gods forbid, actually have to make _peace_ with Daenerys Targaryen. The thought rankled her. Naruto belonged to _her._ The Prince was _hers._ Any other thought was unacceptable, humiliating at the worst. They'd been promised to one another before that _whore_ came prancing in with her dragons. Worse, she'd actually come to care for the bastard, which made today's offense sting all the more.

She took one last moment to collect herself, taking her dress in.

A swooping neckline revealed a generous portion of cleavage. Red hair gathered atop her head, revealing an elegant neck and and gold earrings with sapphires at their heart. She needed nothing more. Margaery knew full well the power of her beauty and the effect it held on men and women alike. She didn't much; the colors of her house were often more than enough. She knew the Game, and played it well. _That_ had been enough. Or, at least it had been, until today. Until that Targaryen wench swooped in and tried to claim the Prince for herself. She wanted to say "tried" because to believe otherwise was to acknowledge that she'd all but lost in the Game before had truly begun.

Never before had she known such shame, never before had she experienced such _embarrassment._

Right, then. All was in order. No use in delaying the inevitable.

Gritting her teeth, she flung the doors open.

Let the games begin.

* * *

 _(...)_

* * *

Could this truly be called a game?

Stannis stubbornly stifled a long-suffering sigh as he turned the scroll over in his hand, pondering his response. Having long since dressed himself, the King took another look at it, suddenly keenly aware of the heavy crown upon his head, of the faintly flickering hearth before him. It was futile he supposed. No matter how many times he gazed upon the scroll, its contents would never change. T'was a simple message truly, its text consisting of little more than a simple line; its news ferreted out by none other than the Spider himself. Arrived just this morning, it put a damper on what had already been a dour mood.

 _Tywin Lannister had taken Dragonstone._

A battle of no contest, considering Stannis himself had all but abandoned the castle save for a handful of men and servants. Still, it stung the Stag's pride that the Lion had dared to attack the defenseless keep while his back was turned. By all accounts it had been a massacre. Men, women and children alike, all butchered. Their bodies thrust on spikes outside as an example. Many of those men and women had served House Baratheon since his childhood days when he was but a boy. Now their heads decorated the walls of his old home. His hand ached for justice, tempered only by the knowledge that the old Lion was trying to bait him, draw him away from King's Landing. Did he know about the Dragonglass? If he did...

Stannis was beginning to despite this Game of Thrones.

He disdained the endless treacheries of the realm and all those who insisted upon playing this wretched Game. Better to simply say what you meant and be done with it. Like his son. He both said what he meant _and_ did what he promised. He took after him in that respect at least. The boy was stubborn, too. Another trait they shared. Almost made him proud. But did he have to be so damn difficult? Fighting him over the most mundane of matters, bickering over the tiniest of things, all to save a life. _That_ he had inherited from his mother. He wanted to be just and kind. He believed a single good deed could wash out a lifetime of bad. Stannis held that the opposite rang true.

Perhaps that was why they butted heads so often.

Naruto was a creature of passion and determination; once he set his mind to something he was impossible to dissuade. Until recently, this trait benefited the realm. It made the boy implacable. Relentless. Nothing save death could stop him. Until Daenerys Targaryen. Stannis had known it the moment he'd laid eyes on that dragon girl. He'd seen the fire in those eyes. Saw her dragons. Wisdom dictated she and her "children" die. Who knew what chaos she could cause if left unchecked in the realm? He'd thought they'd be of one mind with this. Put her to the sword and cement their union with the Tyrells. Then they could face the realm together. One day, far in the future, he would cede the throne to, and then he, his heirs. The boy's children would be strong and proud, just like their parents and that would be the end of it.

Instead the boy had fought his decree tooth and nail.

Now his own blood was to wed the Mother of Dragons. All the while her beasts were growing and with them, the promise of conflict. War. The Tyrells were outraged by Naruto's vow to wed Daenerys and it was Stannis's sincere hope that this compromise would calm them. Dorne was trying to maneuver their own heir into his son's bed. Meanwhile, the Iron Islands were seething with the death of their king. Word had it that they'd found another. Whispers of an uprising from the Storm Lands. Tywin Lannister was no fool either; he wouldn't allow Daenery's brood to reach the size of Balerion the Black. He would not wait for them to fly over Casterly Rock and raze it to the ground. What of the dragons themselves? The Targaryen woman claimed she could control them, but how long before they set their sights on human prey? Thousands would flock to the Lannisters if that happened.

And then there were the dead.

The great enemy that Melisandre constantly spoke of, the Long Night. An enemy that cared not for Westeros or its politics, only death.

How could a man fight _that?_

Taking his head into his hands, the King growled aloud. Look at it now, he could see why Robert had grown tired of it all. Why he'd resigned himself to whores and wine. There was no honor here. No glory to be had on the field of battle. Only relentless, tireless, duty. How was he to hold this realm together when it was so intent on pulling itself apart?! A mountain of debt, and it was his to fix. A starving city and it was his to fix. A war on the horizon? His to fix. A realm in peril? His to fix!

 _ **HIS!**_

"Blast it all!"

Infuriated, the king of the Seven Kingdoms rose from his chair and flung the scroll into the hearth, where it was soon devoured by the hungry flames. Paper blackened and curled as he looked on, their words reduced to ash in an instant. Stannis waited until it was well and truly gone before he turned his attention back to the table. Better that Melisandre wasn't here in his chamber. He might do something he'd otherwise regret. In the end, however, his gaze roamed elsewhere.

Another scroll lay near the first, set aside on the table but not forgotten. It weighed on his mind even now.

The Lord Commander of the Night's Watch was asking-pleading-for more men.

Of course he was; the Wall hadn't been properly manned in years.

Stannis could think of only one way to answer that problem.

A number of men, now that he set his mind to it.

Perhaps there was something he _could_ do...

 _Heavy is the head that wears the crown._

* * *

 _(...)_

* * *

"Wake up, wake up, _wake up!"_

Naruto groaned as color crept back into his world.

"Let's not and say we did." he groused, squeezing his eyes shut.

The voices hissed at him furiously, demanding blood for such trespass.

 **"Burn her, kill her, cut off her feet and flog her with her own spine!"**

 _'Not now,'_ he grit his teeth against them until he felt something crack. _'Leave me be!'_

"Now, now, none of that! You're going to be lat for your own wedding at this rate, brother!"

"Just a few more hours. The fucking sun's barely up!" the prince ground out, burying his head among the pillows in a desperate attempt to deafen himself. He almost succeeded. Silence answered him and for a fleeting second, he almost dared to hope that Shireen had finally let him alone. Alas, it was not to be. When the voice piped up anew in an attempt to rouse him once more, he loosed an annoyed snarl and whipped one of the nearby pillows in the direction of the one who'd spoken. A startled yelp answered and for a blessed instant, there was true quiet.

Not a heartbeat later, all hell broke loose.

 _"Payback!"_

With that declaration, a heavy pillow sailed unerringly through the air and struck the side of Naruto's head with a resounding whack, pitching the bedraggled blond off the bed in a tangle of arms and legs. In the ensuing explosion of feathers the bastard thrashed upright with a loud sputter, spitting furiously.

"Hey!"

"Ha!" Shireen's beaming smile peering over the edge of the bed was the first thing he saw as he blinked the down out of his eyes, her own burning with delight.

"Got you!" she giggled!

Instantly, any semblance of anger he might've felt at being roused so early vanished, the whispers shoved into the darkest corner of his mind. He'd never hurt her of course, no. Never. No amount of ghastly whispers or insanity could ever drive him to do that. He'd seen precious little of his sibling during the last few days, but it chuffed him to see that she was taking to royalty like a fish to water. Becoming a princess hadn't dampened her youthful enthusiasm in the least; if anything it only seemed to have made her all the merrier. And if anyone deigned to slight her for that...

...well, that's what big brothers were for.

It certainly didn't put Naruto beyond a bit of payback, however.

Planting a hand on the floor, he shot his sibling a dark look.

"You do realize this means war."

Shireen's face turned pale.

"Naruto, don't you da-

 _"Cryhavocandwar!"_

"-eek!"

Quick as you please the blond bastard bolted upright and snagged his half-sibling by the waist, flinging her down onto the bed before she could react. Simultaneously, he dug his fingers into her sides and wriggled them like ten mad snakes against her belly. Shireen's laughter immediately cut into her startled shout, sweet music to his ears. It wasn't long before he had her writhing helplessly beneath him, unable to stop giggling despite her best efforts. Within minutes, she flung her hands up in defeat.

"Stop, stop, stop!" she pleaded between hysteric fits of laughter, "I can't take anymore! I yield!"

"Oh?" Naruto growled. "Too bad."

Her face flushed.

"Brother!"

"Fine, fine." he relented, climbing off her and helping his darling sister up. "Spoilsport. Besides-

 _"Ahem."_

He would have said more had not a familiar voice chose that moment to make itself known.

Say what you would about Tyrion, but he was _very_ good at remaining unnoticed. Even with his superior senses Naruto hadn't realized they had company until the Hand of the King made himself known. Righting himself with an effort, he pulled Shireen up with him and

"Good to see you're finally awake."

Naruto sighed. "Aye, I'm up, but why are-

Only then did he notice the tailor behind the dwarf.

The Son of the Stag hissed in exasperation and stood up.

"Fuck meeeeeeeeeeeeeee."

Not five minutes later, he found himself stuffed back into another blasted doublet.

This one actually pinched even _more_ than the last.

Naruto stifled a long suffering sigh against the back of his hand, trying in vain to hide from the face staring back at him. It did him little good. No matter how he might try to shy away from it, his reflection glared back at him from within the mirror, every bit his own. As was the hideous black monstrosity Tyrion'd forced him into. Another bloody doublet! Spirits, whomever invented these things deserved to be drawn and quartered! It pinched horribly in the most uncomfortable ways and he could barely raise his arms above his waist, much reach the dagger hidden in his boot! Wearing this finery honestly made him contemplate acts of violence. Even now he wanted to tear this blasted suit to shreds-

His expression must've said as much; because Tyrion laid a reassuring hand on his arm.

"Easy now." he soothed. "Its a wedding you'll be walking into, not another battle."

"Might as well be the same damn thing." Naruto groused. "More dangerous."

"If that's your opinion how I'd hate to see it after your wedding night!"

"...I genuinely want to cut you in half right now."

Shireen frowned and swatted his back.

"Brother! Don't say such things! You'll offend him!"

The dwarf gave her a pitying look.

"None taken, my lady." he demurred with a bow. "Still if your brother _did_ see fit to chop me in half, that would make the a quarter man. Doesn't quite have the same ring to it."

A moment of silence passed between both men.

Then Naruto snickered.

Tyrion joined him.

Shireen balked.

"Oh, you're both horrid!"

"We're men, what did you expect?!" Naruto cackled as he wiped a mirthful tear from his eye. "Go and fetch Ulric, will you? Tell him I'm ready."

She favored him with a playful smile.

"I should tell him to thrash you, besides."

"Maybe," Naruto conceded with a grin, "but you won't."

"And whyever not, dear brother of mine?"

"Because you _looooooooooooove_ me."

"I...you...that's not...seven hells!"

Sputtering, she darted outside, pausing only to slam the door behind her.

"Must you rile her so?" Tyrion sighed, palming his face. "She's going to get you for that."

"Eh, its a thing with us these days." Naruto shrugged. "S'ides, she's cute when she's flustered."

"You know, I rather recall my brother saying the exact same about Cersei."

All the humor drained from Naruto's face like pus from an old wound.

"What?! No! That's...why would I even?! I'm older than her!"

"As you say." the dwarf shrugged.

"Sure you don't want to trade places?" he asked of Tyrion, scowling.

"No, no." the Hand demurred, holding up a hand. "I'll leave the marital spats to you."

"They'll be yours soon enough." the Son of the Stag warned.

"Pardon?"

"You and Shae. I've seen the way you two look at each other. You're like this." the whiskered warrior mimed a motion with his fingers, subtly delighting in the uncomfortable expression his friend now wore. "Why not get married and save yourselves the trouble?"

"That...

"That?" Naruto tilted his head.

"That is," Tyrion paused, pondering unspoken the truth behind the prince's words and the weight it held. "Not an unreasonable idea, actually." What did he have to fear? Tywin? His lord father was far, far from here, and unable to do anything to harm him. Jaime would likely soon find himself taking the Black or languishing in a cell for the rest of his life. And Cersei-no, he wasn't going to think about what'd become of his sister. Why wait at all, then? It wasn't as if marrying her would lose him any more love amongst King's Landing. Part of him almost dared to hope events would transpire differently, this time.

He found the notion oddly appealing.

"Point taken. I might take your advice; just as soon as you make it to the altar yourself. A taxing task, considering you'll need two cloaks."

Blue eyes narrowed intently.

"You've poked a bear, my friend."

Were they friends?

Tyrion laughed and found himself startled to realize they were. The blond treated him with more than just respect; for all his flaws he seemed to genuinely value his advice. He could brawl with the best of them. He was loud, rude, crass, and wholly incorrigible, but underneath it all he remained a good person. He wasn't cruel, nor a glutton, or even without mercy. An absolute madman he might be, but he knew the constraints of power and the burden that came with them. He could think of no one better to safeguard the realm. If only he didn't have such a penchant for mischief...

As if to herald that very thought the door swept open, revealing the towering form of Ulric.

Half a heartbeat passed between the three of them, broken only by muted footsteps.

"You look like shit." the Umber remarked, his face face flat as stone.

Tyrion couldn't help himself; he openly guffawed.

"Thank you ever so much for reminding me." the blond sighed and tugged at a rosy sleeve. "Fine friends, the both of you. Right, then. Off to the old ball and chain...ow!"

"Ulric, if he makes any more comments like that, you have my leave to hit him again. Gently, though. Wouldn't do to give our lord a concussion."

"Aye."

Naruto groaned as he allowed himself to be escorted from the room.

"Traitors, both of you!" But there was no rancor in his words.

He knew the lighthearted banter was as much for his sake as it was theirs. Spirits, he wasn't used to all this. Part of him wanted to bolt; to quit King's Landing and put all of this nonsense behind him. The other...well, he owed that more to the whispers than any rational thought. Still, he knew his duty and would do it. No matter how much the voices might want or wish otherwise. He'd need to go on a good purge soon to get it out of his system, else he risked going berserk and hurting those he held most dear.

In short order they were bundled into a carriage and escorted to the Sept.

The ride itself proved remarkably uneventful; for none dared to challenge them. If the Sparrows were still hereabouts they hadn't decided to move against the Crown. Yet. Naruto almost wished they had. Slaughtering their ilk would've been a welcome reprieve to what he faced. Instead, he emerged from the carriage not to a horde of enemies as he'd expected, but to a crowd of well-wishers.

"Lord Naruto!"

"M'lord!"

"Here!"

Endless supplications assaulted them as they reached the stairs and the prince found himself forced to fend them off with promises of aid and the like. Ulric was forced to wade through the crowd ahead of them, gently but firmly ushering the populace aside to make way for them both.

It felt like hours before he finally made it to the sept.

From there, time passed in a blur for Naruto.

Stannis was there in the crowd with his Kingsguard, observing the proceedings with a keen eye, alert for any and all manner of disruption. Their eyes met and father and son shared a nod. Nothing more. Nothing less. He marched past his lord King without so much as a second thought and took his place before the High Septon. Minutes passed, then hours as the Sept slowly swelled with people, commoner and noble alike. Here, he saw some of his old bannermen conversing with Oberyn. There, the Queen of Thorns, legendary for her razor wit. And over yonder the Red Woman, looking supremely smug in her scarlet silks.

All the while Naruto chafed at the waiting.

Blasted Sept.

Blasted wedding!

Blasted honor and duty!

The High Septon was trying to gain his attention for some reason or another; no doubt fussing at Ulric's steadfast presence by his side. At his sword, more likely. Naruto silenced the man with a gesture. He wasn't about to forsake the protection of his staunchest ally just to satisfy the whims of some priest. He might have been forbidden from wearing armor, but the same could not be said of the Umber. This was to be a wedding among weddings after all. Their enemies would be a fool to miss this opportunity. Ironically he almost hoped, nay, prayed, something would happen.

Anything to take the edge off.

Eventually the Septon recognized the futility of his efforts and began to drone prayers; an endless animal bleat that barely registered in Naruto's mind. Nevertheless he gave the right answers and made the proper bows where necessary, silently gritting his teeth as the minutes wore on. If this was what it meant to be married in the blasted light of the seven then he never wanted to endure it again. Better to have a plain ceremony with the old gods rather than fuss over something like this. All the while he could hear the whispers below, his sharpened senses ruthlessly catching snatches of conversation.

"Look at him," an old woman's voice slithered into his ear, "Making nice with that Targaryen wench. Should have done her like her father."

"Not right, it is." another agreed.

Naruto marked their faces for retribution at a later date.

When the brides were at last admitted into the sept however, his scorn faded away and his heart skipped a beat.

Gods, they were beautiful.

Daenerys entered first, a half-step ahead of Margaery, clad in the colors of her house, the smallest of her dragons curled about her shoulders. Even Naruto could see Viserion would soon be too large for such a perch. The Rose wasn't far behind. To describe their beauty was to stop the storm; simply, utterly impossible. A lump formed in his throat and he found himself straightening. Margaery caught his gaze first, and he would've almost thought her smile genuine had it not been for the way she refused to look at him overlong. Something in her eyes warned him there would be a reckoning for this slight, and he wasn't sure he'd enjoy it.

By contrast, Daenerys never looked away, never took her gaze from him.

In that moment, he truly felt as if he were gazing at a dragon, one who would devour him whole.

Naruto wasn't sure which was worse.

With their arrival the High Septon droned on for what seemed like an eternity, espousing the values of their Seven and their mercy and _...oh for fuck's sake!_

Finally, he could stand no more.

"Shut your hole and get on with it!"

Feathers ruffled, the Septon recoiled, but did as he was bid.

"As you wish, my lord."

Naruto needed no further inclination.

"Finally!"

In a single motion he stepped forward and seized a startled Margaery's mouth with his, bending her backwards to raucous approval from the crowd. Not a moment later he did the same to Daenerys. The sept's reaction proved decidedly muted to that, but he paid them no heed.

 _'Fuck them. Pretentious pricks.'_

Drawing a ribbon from his voluminous sleeve, the disgruntled Septon took one of their hands each and bound them together.

"Let it be known that Margaery of the house Tyrell, Daenerys of the house Targaryen, and Naruto of the house Baratheon are one heart and flesh, one soul." he favored the latter with a decidedly pointed look, though his voice never once wavered. "Cursed be he who would seek to tear them asunder."

"Curses be he who would seek to tear them asunder." the crowed echoed after a pause.

Naruto nearly bit the Septon's head off for that remark, but restrained himself.

There was but one line he had left to endure, then this would be done and-

"You may now cloak the brides and bring them under your protection."

Remembering the custom such as it was, he allowed the priest to unbind the ribbon. Then he did as he was bade, wrapping first Margaery then Daenerys each in a cloak of his own. Only then did he turn, and they with him, to face the crowd, holding their hands in his own.

So.

This was how it felt to be married.

It felt surprisingly freeing.

As if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

This time there could be no disguising the roar that rose up from the people as they walked among them. Whether it was for Margaery or Daenerys or even himself, Naruto knew not. In all honesty? He didn't care. He wanted nothing more than to be free of the sept and attend the feast. His sole hope was to drink himself into oblivion and wipe the anxiety from his mind. Tomorrow would be the day for duty and responsibility and all the fetters that came with it-

 _"My lord!"_

The shout was his only warning.

Years of hardened instincts flung Naruto's body into motion, sending him lurching forward before his mind truly registered what was happening. It saved his life and Margaery's both. He flung himself forward and almost immediately pain snarled through his chest as a jagged dagger thrust itself deep in the meat of his shoulder, tearing through fabric to find the flesh beneath. For a moment-the merest of seconds-his mind reeled, unable to understand what a happening. Not so his body. Even as he staggered from the searing pain, the prince beheld his attacker. No. Not one. Attackers. To Naruto's dismay he realized they faced not one, not two, but five assassins. Perhaps more out of sight, each brandishing weapons of the same make.

 _'Well, I wanted something exciting! Seems I got my wish!'_

The nearest, a grim-looking man with long hair in dark leathers, already rearing back for another strike. By some miracle he managed to rip the hidden knife free from his boot and parry, slashing the blade across his attacker's face, only to see that very face peel away with the bloody edge and reveal another.

"What in blazes...?!"

Only then did he realize what he faced.

A hue and cry went up from the crowd as those within the sept realized they were no longer safe. Hundreds pressed toward the door, trampling others underfoot, only to find them sealed. Naruto scarcely noticed. All of his being remained focused on warding off his opponent with his good arm, weaving a wall of steel between his would-be killer and his wives. Even so the assassin managed to slip through his guard to nick his lower leg, drawing fresh blood. Whomever they were, they were good. Very good. Someone had paid a fell price to procure such skilled assassins.

 _"Dracarys!"_

For all their feats were not immune to dragonfire, however.

At Daenerys's cry Viserion leaped from his mother's shoulders and screamed his fury to the world, bathing the man in napalm.

The assassin collapsed within seconds, his screams withered to a whisper.

In the smoke and confusion, Ulric thundered past them and crashed into a second faceless man attempting to flank the Mother of Dragons, driving him to the floor with his bulk. Massive hands descended on the prone man's skull and squeezed with bone-crushing force, rendering his visage little more than a red stain on the sept floor. Naruto swore, searching for another assassin.

He found a third drilled to the wall by Oberyn's spear.

A fourth met his end on Loras's blade.

Naruto nearly despaired.

 _Alive._

They needed one of them alive for questioning!

"To me!" someone was shouting and he startled to realize it was Stannis, raining down blows on the fourth. "Everyone to me!"

"That one!" Naruto bellowed over the chaos, running. "Keep him alive!"

Whether his lord father heard him Naruto knew not; only that the King took the man's arm and smote him across the head with the hilt of his sword. His attacker collapsed in a boneless heap and just like that, it was over. All the faceless men lay dead or cut to ribbons by the defenders. Gradually, the prince became aware of the voices around him, heard the screams of the wounded and drying, but he cared not a wit for any of them. Despite the pain, despite the agony in his leg, he'd never felt more alive. Heart pounding in his ears, vision gone red with a ghastly crimson field, he lived only in the moment.

And in this moment, he wanted justice.

Ignoring Margaery's pleas, grimacing around the pain, he descended on his would-be killer and struck him hard in the stomach. The man jolted awake with a pained grunt and, not satisfied, Naruto struck him again, his boot bloodying the man's nose.

"Who sent you?" he demanded. "Tell me it'll be quick."

To his disbelief, the assassin actually smiled.

"A man cannot tell you."

Blue eyes burned red.

 _"You will."_

 **A/N: And the plots doth THICKEN! there you have it! We're back in business! Also, *sniff* I'm afraid I have some bad news. Game of Thrones is ENDING! That's right, they've confirmed that there are only two seasons left and they're going to shorten the amount of episodes in each. WHY?! Why you do this?!**

 **So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **(Preview(s)**

 _"Do you seek answers from the flames, my lord?"_

 _Stannis didn't have to look to know Melisandre had made herself known, soundless as ever._

 _She'd become increasingly adept at that._

 _"What do you want?" the words escaped on a sigh._

 _"Wise men often seek the council of fire."_

 _He shook her off with a grunt._

 _"Spare me your riddles. What is it? What news do you have for me?" Stannis's face tightened in a scowl, all too vividly aware of how he must look to her. Grim and angry, forged from steel. That anger faded somewhat when she took his hand. Guided it to her belly. A moment of confusion set in, hounded by a terrible realization._

 _What she said next sent his world spinning._

* * *

 _"Littlefinger is dead."_

 _"Such a pity." Naruto feigned indifference before his lord father's accusation, savaging a roast with his knife. "The climate must've disagreed with him."_

 _Inwardly, his mind was elsewhere._

 _'Alright, who killed that bastard and how the hell can I thank them?'_

* * *

 _Walder Frey's eyebrows shot up all the way to his head._

 _"What in the seven hells are you doing?!"_

 _ **"Killing monsters."**_

* * *

 _Naruto laughed into the snow._

 _"You're a merry little band of bastards, aren't you? Look at ya! A brave fellowship, venturing out beyond the-OW!_

 _"Fuck off, boy."_

 _"Now now, Clegane! Is that any way to talk to a prince?"_

 _"You're going to a head shorter if you don't cut that shit out."_

 **R &R! =D**


	9. The Orange Wedding (Part III)

**A/N: SEVEN THOUSAND WORDS FOR YOU GUYS AND GALS!**

 **REVIEW FOR IT FEEDS THE ENGINE OF CREATION!**

 **ALSO!**

 **Did anyone else wake up to an email error message from Fanfiction this morning?**

 **I did.**

 **ITS NOT FUN.**

 **I believe it went something like this:**

 _"554 delivery error: dd This user doesn't have a account ({recipients'userid} ). Don't retry sending the message and remove the email address from your list. The user doesn't exist."_

 **Not only did I cease receiving emails from Fanfiction, but I had to go through everything manually. I've since switched over to one of my other, separate accounts on a different site, but suffice it to say I won't be using my old one until this issue is resolved. I've been with them for years, and never had an issue receiving emails until today. Their support has done nothing to help me or other authors suffering from this issue, despite repeated requests for aid.**

 **Hopefully this can be resolved soon.**

 **In short, I've found a fix. If you use a backup email account, the issue doesn't affect you. Just don't go and switch it back until you're 100% certain things are fixed. I've already been told of one poor sod who went and did just that, and now he isn't getting any notifications on EITHER account. So, yeah. It could be other accounts, but I wanted to get the word out.**

 **If anyone's suffering from the same issue, let me know.** **Pretty sure a glitch is to blame somewhere along the line there. Once I swapped over to my backup account, I got notifications again and everything works dandy. It works like a charm. Everyone, email Fanfiction and tell them about this problem before it gets worse!**

 **Now then, off we go!**

 _"Rules, rules, rules! Why is it that you insist on following them? Let go!"_

 _~?_

 **The Orange Wedding (Part III)**

Alas, that horrible bit of business was done and now they would have to live with it.

In the chaos following the failed assassination attempt, the people of King's Landing wanted nothing more than to bury their heads in the sand. Some, the warriors and those accustomed to battle, adjusted to the bloodshed better than most. Stannis, Naruto, Oberyn. Violence was standard fare for their lot. They took the strife in stride, dressed their wounds, and moved on. Others were not so fortunate. The more reserved drew inward, preferring the safety of locked doors rather than risk another confrontation. Some indulged in their chosen vices, be it wine, women or one another. Still others gloried in the bloodshed, telling tales of the short-lived battle and all that had come with it.

Margaery was not one of them.

Now that blood lay spilled, swords swung and tempers cooled, she found her opinions of her new husband markedly reversed. How could she not? Throwing himself in front of the blade, taking a dagger _meant_ for her neck without hesitation? It was the very definition of selflessness and it moved something deep inside her. If the knife had been just a touch higher, it might've claimed his life. Or hers. That was death. A horrid end, true and final. There would've been no coming back from _that._ A small shudder rippled its way through her at the thought.

The Rose had seen and done terrible much in her life, but in that moment she'd truly felt terror.

She was not trained in combat; until this day she'd not considered the necessity. Her mind had always been her weapon-her body, her tool. That assassin had not cared a wit for all her plotting or scheming. Her wiles did naught against him. His dagger would've surely taken her life if Naruto hadn't intervened. To think, she'd nearly meant him ill! She'd feared he might turn out like his uncle; a drinker, whore monger, and a glutton. Unfit to rule like his uncle before him. Yet he'd shown her his selfless side this day. A valiant warrior at that. Selflessness had never been one of Robert's strong suits. Strength certainly, but he wasn't the sort to throw himself into danger for the sake of a stranger.

Not so his nephew.

Yes, if not for the Prince...

A cry went up from the crowd, momentarily diverting her attention.

"Ha! That's right! Bow before your prince! Bow ya shits!"

Alright, perhaps Naruto was a _bit_ like his uncle.

Not a moment later she heard her beloved's voice ring out from among the masses, echoing to raucous laughter. Good-natured chuckles followed the blond's inebriated declaration, plucking a small smile from Margaery's lips. It was just the sort of behavior one might expect from him at a feast and for the life of her, she couldn't tell if this "drunkenness" was an act or genuine. Perhaps that was for the best. If she could predict the prince's every move then it would prove a dull marriage indeed.

Thankfully he hadn't tried to climb any tables yet.

Yes, despite his many injuries, the Prince still insisted on drinking and feasting with to his heart's content. Mingling with the guests, even. That much was easily made evident by the ruckus he was causing. How odd that his lord father wasn't so jubilant. For all of his flaws Stannis was a grim man, one who seldom smiled and took little pleasure in life. Even less now that he'd lost his wife. Strangely enough, Margaery found that she pitied him. Heavy was the head that wore the crown, and Stannis seemed to have realized that truth too late. What had Renly said of him? His only friend was duty. Relentless, tireless duty.

His son, at least, seemed to be focused on the feast.

"Loras!" the blond boomed, his voice carrying like a thunderclap! "Come! Sit! Have a drink with us!"

Even from here, she could see her brother's tan visage go pale.

"My lord, I really don't think that's wise-

"Nonsense!" the prince laughed! "I won't hear of it! Now drink!"

Margaery observed her brother's discomfort with quiet amusement, settling against her seat as the flame-haired warrior ushered him over. She silently suspected Loras's reluctance to speak with Naruto stemmed from his impending marriage to the princess Shireen. Now there was a match she didn't envy. The girl was far too young for the marriage to be consummated anytime soon of course, but that wasn't the crux of the matter. Half of King's Landing had seen the prince shatter the jaw of the last man who dared speak ill of his beloved little sister. Poor Loras was probably scared out of his wits right now. Judging by the fox-like grin Naruto wore, he knew it as well.

So.

This was to be her fate then.

To spend her life with this happy oaf.

She supposed she could have done worse.

Seven hells, she might've been married to Stannis!

Just the thought of it threatened to sour her stomach altogether.

If ever there had been a man who ground his teeth more, she'd yet to find him.

In light of the attack, the King-against the advice of his small council-deemed it best to move the celebration outdoors and forsake ceremony altogether. All in the vain hope of pretending nothing had changed. That nothing might ever upset their perfect little world. Those worst affected by the attempted coup didn't even want to acknowledge the sordid affair and were deep into their cups by afternoon. Several lives had been lost to their blades, this much stood true, but in the end the killers were beaten back with one of their own captured no less. Said man was currently languishing in the Black Cells under Qyburn's ministrations. Rumors abounded the prince himself had already paid him a visit. It was expected he'd sing like a canary come morn thanks to him-the same prince who seemed very adept at playing the fool.

Margaery knew better.

She'd seen the wicked gleam behind those bright blue eyes, and the keen intellect they housed. A jester he might seem to some, but she knew. Naruto wasn't who pretended to be. He might be gentle and kind, dashingly handsome Oh. Oh, dear. When had she begun to think that? A bastard he might well be, but he wasn't shamed by it. If anything, he seemed to glory Perhaps-

"He's far too reckless."

Reality tugged at her in the form of Daenerys Targaryen, ruthlessly reminding Margaery that this prize stag wasn't hers alone. Damn. Bristling slightly at the barbed insinuation, the Rose of Highgarden straightened in her seat, plastered a smile to her face, and willed herself to face her sister-in-law. It took more effort than she cared to admit.

 _Seven Hells,_ she'd wanted to forget about her.

Not so the dragon at her side.

That was utterly impossible.

"Which one is this?"

"Viserion." Daenerys preened, stroking the drake's fringe, eliciting a happy sound from the beautiful beast. "The youngest." After a moment's consideration, she continued. "Careful. He nips."

"He's beautiful." her awe wasn't at all feigned. "May I...?"

A subtle smile followed.

"You may."

Viserion trilled loudly and flared his wings wide, happy for the attention given him. The female was right to respect him. Fear him, even! He was fierce! He was powerful! He was...was...was... _oooh, yes! That was the spot!_ The redhead certainly did give nice scratches. Margaery didn't chide him for the bravado. On the contrary. She'd seen the "youngest" dragon burn a man to death in an instant. He'd more than earned his keep. Oh, he was going to be a giant at this rate. If this one and his brothers reached the size of their ancestors, well...

"Hey! Viserion! C'mere!"

The growing green dragon perked up straight away at the sound of the prince's voice and with a mighty flap, he leaped from Daenerys's arms and took wing. A chorus of startled shrieks greeted his sudden flight, heads ducking, arms flung out to protect heads and platters alike. But the dragon had no interest in them. Instead he soared over them all without a care and alighted effortlessly on the prince's outstretched arm. A great chunk of steak was his reward and the little beast happily settled himself onto the table beside the blond to content himself with his prize.

"I hadn't thought him to be a dragon tamer." Margaery remarked.

"Viserion does seem to favor him, yes." Daenerys noted coolly, watching the young drake coil about the prince's shoulders with a small smile. "It must be the dragon in him."

Margaery felt her shoulders tense.

"Pardon?"

"Aren't you aware?" the Targaryen princess favored her with a false smile. "Orys Baratheon was the founder of House Baratheon as well as the ancestor of King Robert Baratheon and his brothers, Renly and...Stannis." she paused, letting the silence give her words weight. "Which makes him a descendant of our precious prince, I suppose."

Oh.

Oh, dear.

She didn't like where this was going.

"I wasn't aware." Margaery retorted waspishly, mastering herself with an effort.

"I'm not surprised. His is a forgotten name. Orys Baratheon." Daenerys replied, her eyes taking on a far, distant look. "During the War of Conquest, he was a commander in the army of Aegon the Conqueror, and was the Conqueror's bastard half-brother. When Aegon invaded Westeros, he sent Orys to seize Storm's End, the ancestral seat of the Storm Kings and capital of the Stormlands. Orys defeated the Storm King, Argilac the Arrogant, and seized not only Storm's End but also his sigil and words, even his daughter Argalia, alongside his sword, Torment. With that, he cemented his rule over their lands and became the first Lord Paramount of the Stormlands. It's almost ironic, really. A bastard accomplished all this on his own and now another's done nearly the same."

Margaery shifted in her seat, stifling a scowl.

Seemed someone had studied their history.

Naruto, however distant or diluted it might be, _did_ indeed share some Targaryen blood on his father's side. She wasn't sure how she felt about that. Outwardly it made little difference; she was still married to the man, as was Daenerys. Inwardly, however...was this a subtle way for her to claim him? Or were the Mother of Dragon's motives more sinister; a way to put her in her place? She might well have the wealth and power of Highgarden behind her, but _Daenerys_ had three dragons. If they laid eggs, there would be still more. What good was grain and coin when you possessed mythical beasts capable of torching the entire realm into submission? The same beasts Aegon had used to conquer Westeros and she had _three!_

How could she possibly compare to dragons?!

Perhaps sensing the ill thoughts between the two women, Loras offered a passable excuse and departed.

Naruto finally found a chance to escape as well, feigning interest in a passing servant.

Contrary to popular belief, he had no intention of getting caught between them. Certainly not at their own wedding. No, best to let them cool their heads and douse their tempers with wine before he approached them. He might enjoy the company of dragons, but he was rather averse to being burned. Of course, if drink stirred _other_ appetites, he might find himself in a bit of a pickle later. Ah, but there was Father, beckoning to him from his seat at the table. Best to keep up appearances and whatnot. No matter how much he might despise them.

"Father." Naruto approached and sketched a small bow. "You're looking well."

Stannis's gaze strayed to the dragon perched on the boy's shoulder.

Instead of trading barbs, his progenitor surprised him.

 _"Littlefinger is dead."_

Naruto stiffened.

"Is he now? How..unfortunate."

Inwardly, his mind was elsewhere.

 _'Alright, who killed that bastard and how the hell can I thank them?'_

"He died of poison." Stannis informed him stonily, his blank countenance betraying not a wit of emotion. "The servants found him in his chambers this morning."

Once more, came the unspoken question.

 _Did you have a hand in this matter?_

Naruto refused to give a reply.

"Such a pity." Instead he feigned mild indifference in the face of his lord father's unspoken accusations, snatching a drumstick from a passing platter by which to hide his concerns behind. "Climate must've disagreed with him. Terrible things, weddings. You never know what might happen. Speaking of which," with that he sank his teeth into his prize and tore it apart, "You have that brew I made for you?"

...I have it, yes." Stannis reluctantly relented, touching a hand to his vest belt. "I suppose it has a purpose."

"It does." For the first time since the festivities had begun, Naruto permitted himself a small frown. "Keep it handy if you find yourself short of breath."

At that, a tiny fracture of emotion finally broke through the King's stony facade.

"You think they would try to poison me? _Here?"_

"I think the nobles are sodding idiots." his son countered. "Better to be safe than sorry. You aren't as...resistant to such things as I am. Best to be on you guard, even here." Another would've taken such a statement as a threat against their life but both men knew otherwise; it was simply a fact. So many had tried to poison him in his youth; his stepmother, sycophants, brigands, advisers, and countless others. In the end, he'd survived all their attempts and grown stronger for it. It would take an extraordinary dose to even phase him, let alone put an end to his life. Not necessarily immunity, but close. Very close indeed.

"I like it not, but I'll consider it." Stannis relented, nodding. "See to it that you behave yourself."

"So long as you don't insist on the bloody bedding."

"I won't. You have more pressing concerns."

"I-

Naruto opened his mouth to protest at that, but the King cut him off sharply with a wave.

"Keep an eye out for anyone suspicious. Do so and I'll reward you handsomely."

His son twitched, almost imperceptibly.

"Eh?"

Ah, and there it was again; an almost boyish look ignited in the young man's eyes. Emotions chased themselves across his whiskered visage before he ruthlessly mastered them, composing his face into a blank mask once more. The sight almost brought a smile to the elder Baratheon's face. Almost. He knew if he smiled now the boy would never let him hear the end of it. Neither would Shireen, for that matter. Worse, they might expect his likeness to smile more often! He couldn't be bothered with that. Thus, he too schooled his face into utter impassivity at his son's response.

...what kind of reward are we talking about, here?"

"One worthy of you." Stannis didn't elaborate further, knowing it would pique his son's curiosity.

It did, of course.

"Is that so? I'll take what you said into consideration."

"See that you do." he grunted.

Naruto sketched a bow.

"By your leave, then."

Stannis watched him skirt the throne and vanish into the crowd with a sigh.

Absently, his gaze lingered upon a burning torch. Fire flickered and coiled before his gaze, but if there were answers to be had there, the flames didn't provide them. Instead his thoughts turned inward. The boy was his blood. Stannis didn't deny this. Indeed, he accepted it. Those blazing blue eyes and firm sense of justice came from him, as did his skill with a sword.

But his fiery hair and will...that was all his mother.

A boy who possessed extraordinary abilities, a man who saw things-visions?-in his dreams and waking moments.

He would not be broken. He would bow; physically perhaps, or the act of, but not his resolve. It refused to bend. Determination like that could not be cowed, couldn't be bought, and it certainly wouldn't waver in the face of a fight. Once he'd made up his mind, it was nigh but impossible to sway him. Rewards however, were another matter. Recognition and praise worked well enough, but for someone who owned little beyond his blade and the clothes on his back, gifts were precious things indeed. Yes, what he had in mind would make a fine gift indeed...

"Do you seek answers from the flames, my lord?"

He didn't have to look to know Melisandre had made herself known, soundless as ever by his side. Tch. He had not heard her approach. She'd become increasingly adept at this. The thought made him grind his teeth. Her presence at the feast would not pass unnoticed. Many would take issue with her, particularly those thrice-blasted Sparrows in particular. Sod that. He had half a mind to send her away now, consequences be damned. Her visions were useful, truth be told, but she was becoming more trouble than she was worth. If not for the long night...no.

Shaking

"What do you want?" the words escaped on a sigh.

The Red Woman didn't answer him, not at first.

"Wise men often seek the council of fire." she mused, laying a hand on his shoulder. "You'd do well to listen."

He shook her off with a grunt.

"Spare me your riddles. What is it? What news do you have for me?" Stannis's face tightened in a scowl, all too vividly aware of how he must look to her. Grim and angry, forged from steel. That anger faded somewhat when she took his hand. Guided it to her belly. A moment of confusion set in, hounded by a terrible realization.

What she said next would send his world spinning.

Unfortunately, Naruto failed to notice the significant exchange. Indeed, he'd forsaken thought of his father altogether and spared no glances over his shoulder. He'd long since made up his mind on the matter. If this was to be his wedding, if he was to be tied down to two women he didn't deserve-in his mind he still believed himself unworthy of anything resembling love after everything he'd seen and done-then he had every intention of getting himself soused. Barring that unlikely event, he planned to entertain himself at the very least. Everyone else seemed to be enjoying themselves. Why shouldn't he?

For a time, he amused himself by observing the festivities.

Ah, there was the Spider, watching in solemn silence, as he often did.

Here he spied Tyrion and Shae, the latter leading her lover away to a shadowy alcove.

There he beheld Shireen playing happily with the other children of the court, closely shadow by a flock of anxious guards.

In the distance he caught sight of Oberyn and Ellaria conversing loudly and at length with _Ulric_ of all people, much to the giant's great discomfort.

The prince laughed and raised his goblet in a toast as he passed them by. One needn't guess at their discussion. Tempting as it might be to rescue his bodyguard from _that_ predicament, Naruto couldn't bring himself to do it just yet. No, he'd let his old friend squirm a bit before he swooped in. If he swooped. Swooping was bad, after all.

Such a thought almost made him smile.

Arianne lounged near the gardens alone, though still radiant as the sun itself. The sight of her brought Naruto up short...for reasons he'd never admit. Clad in a plunging gown of golden yllow silk that accentuated her hips as much as the generous swell of her breasts, she looked every bit the temptress he knew her to be. A stray spark of desire kindled in his chest at the sight of her in spite of his best efforts to ignore it and his mind briefly wandered. Had she worn this for him? Despite his earlier words it was decidedly difficult to ignore her, even from a distance such as this.

 _Damn but she was beautiful._

As he looked on the princess of Sunspear caught his gaze and held it, then reciprocated his attention with a smoldering smile all her own; supple fingers crooked towards him in a come-hither motion. It would be so easy for him. Simple, even. A few quick steps would carry him to her side. From there it would be easy to leave the others behind, find a secluded place all to themselves, then-no. He couldn't. Desirable though she was, even though his body longed for her, a glimmer of determination won out. With a supreme effort of will, the blond shook his head and headed in the opposite direction.

Perhaps had he seen her smile, he would've thought twice about leaving the princess to her own devices.

But even _he_ wasn't fool enough to succumb to temptation at his own blasted wedding.

Ironically, his next diversion came from a most unexpected source.

"Ah! Lady Olenna. Just who I wanted to see."

The vaunted Queen of Thorns graced him with a nod as he arrived at her table, nothing more. She needed no weapon to do battle; her tongue was sharper than any blade. That gaze had cut down many men and women alike, belittled many an ambitious mind and put paid to fools. Even Viserion seemed to wilt beneath her regard, though a bit of meat mollified the young dragonling. Flaring his wings, he abandoned Naruto's shoulder with a triumphant cry and took to the sky to join his siblings. The prince almost envied him such freedom.

"And what business could you possibly have with an old woman like me?"

Another might've taken offense at that.

Naruto didn't bat an eyelash.

"No need for barbed words!" he beamed, pulling up a chair. "I've wanted to meet you for quite some time now."

The old Tyrell harrumphed.

"That was a brave thing you did for my granddaughter back there, boy." she admitted. "Stupid, but brave. One might wonder if you have the same planned for her."

Naruto arched an eyebrow as a servant laid a platter of food between them.

"I'm no Joffrey, if that's what you're implying." finishing the last of his drumstick, he turned his head aside and spat out a bit of bone onto the nearby platter. "I don't enjoy torture or pain, nor am I overly fond of cruelties. Your precious granddaughter is quite safe with me, I assure you." He made no mention of the ambition he'd glimpsed behind those big brown eyes of his pretty young wife. Even so he'd saved her regardless. Whether that would earn him a knife in the back or poison in his cup remained to be seen, but if they intended to try the latter, they were going to be disappointed.

 _Very_ disappointed.

"Well? Don't sit there scowling at me. Eat!"

Laughing, Naruto did as he'd been asked -commanded, rather- and claimed a portion of roast meat for himself. Olenna less-than-daintily snatched up some grapes and popped a number into her mouth. A beat of silence passed between them as they ate, young and old, regarding one another in stony silence. Thus far, the former found himself in extraordinarily high spirits, and not just from the feat. It was refreshing to trade barbs with someone without fear of consequences, more-so someone who was so far above the ken of what he'd grown used to.

"Joffrey really was a cunt, wasn't he?" Olenna sighed.

At that, Naruto found himself unable to restrain a small smile.

"He certainly was! Killing that vicious bastard gave me more relief-

-than a thousand lying whores. Ha!" she laughed and waved his words away with a dismissive flick of the wrist. "Yes, yes, I'm familiar with the bloody saying. You still haven't answered my question."

"Nor you mine." the whiskered warrior riposted.

A weathered eyebrow was arched.

"And what question is that?"

The Son of the Stag didn't answer her, not at first. Instead he raised his glass and took a long draught from his cup, savoring every drop. When next he looked at her, those sky blue eyes reminded her of the words that his house held so dear. _Ours is the Fury._ There was fury there in his gaze, but it was a cold anger. Bitter. Deadly as black ice. Tempered. _Seven hells._ As she looked on his hand idly traced one of the many wedding gifts he'd received, a magnificent shield carved of ironwood with a flawless silver trim.

What drew her attention was the shield's crest: a white ironwood tree stationed on a black field, embellished with a black sword pointed downwards.

To call it anything less than a masterwork would have been an insult.

"I wasn't aware the Forresters were in attendance."

Anyone who was anyone knew _that_ sigil.

"It pays to have friends in many places, both high and low." Naruto hummed, tearing off a great haunch of meat for himself. "As I recall, their eldest daughter, Mira, is a handmaiden to your granddaughter. I'd very much like to see her again. Perhaps that opportunity will present itself before I leave King's Landing."

 _"Again?"_

Those ice-blue orbs became glaciers.

"Have you heard the tale of the Whitehills of Highpoint?" he inquired quietly.

"I can't say I'm terribly familiar with the lot." Olenna shrugged. "Why don't you tell me?

"Aye, the Whitehills. I didn't trust them. Best give Highpoint to someone else."

"You think them traitors?"

Naruto paused, favoring his cup. "I _know_ they're traitors. They simply haven't acted out of fear."

"And I suppose you're going to tell me they're afraid of you." The Queen of Thorns sighed.

Those azure orbs gleamed brightly at her barbed reply.

"Its a recent tale, really...

The Queen of Thorns steeped her fingers, perhaps sensing said story.

"They were a noble house who's lived for many years." Naruto began, his eyes taking on a far away look. "Their lord, Ludd, was a greedy man who sought to advance beyond his station. Not that there's anything wrong with that mind you; ambition is a common theme when it comes to lords and ladies of Westeros." he cast a pointed look at Olenna. "One might even call it admirable. But Ludd reached too far. His greed knew no bound be it blade or battle. And in his avarice, he sought to take advantage of a time of war and unrest to destroy the Forresters, the ancient rivals of his house."

"I take it you took issue with that."

"I did!" the prince laughed aloud, sawing himself a piece of pigeon pie. "As luck would have it, the Forresters were hosting me at the time. Unknowingly of course." he favored her with a sly wink. "What can I say? Their history fascinated me. For thousands of years House Forrester have been loyal bannermen to House Stark. Now that's loyalty. In the darkest reaches of the Wolfswood they harvest the rare Ironwood trees. Did you know that its said to be nearly indestructible? I wanted to leave Dragonstone for a bit, get out, stretch my legs, ya know? To see their famed craft for myself. Spent nearly a year there and almost, _almost_ got away with none the wiser. Oh, the tales I could tell you! Talia and I got up to all sorts of trouble. But that's a story for another day. I'll have to tell you about it sometime. Where was I...?"

Olenna rolled her eyes.

"You were _trying_ to intimidate me, I believe. Unsuccessfully."

"Lady Olenna, you wound me!" Naruto feigned indignation, clutching at his heart. "I would never-

"Spare me your platitudes and get on with it."

"As you wish." he relented with a small sigh, taking up a goblet of wine. "To make a long story short-Ludd was an imbecile and eventually did something he shouldn't have. I happened to be there and took exception to his, well, let's call it conduct. Now, I won't spoil your meal by giving voice to his foul deeds, so I'll cut straight to the point. I killed him. Right there in the Forrester's hall." he made a swishing motion with his hand. "I'd realized I couldn't stay after that, so I set out for Dragonstone before morning. A fortnight later, my esteemed father finally took it upon himself to recognize me...now, here we are."

"If you expect me to believe you drove a sword through a lord's heart without consequence-

"Pitchfork, actually. the blond corrected her. "From behind. Nasty way to go."

"Is there a point to this ridiculous tale?"

"The point, my dear lady, is that its never wise to overreach oneself. Sometimes we must simply be satisfied with what we have." a pause followed the blond, as if to let the words sink in. "Once could accuse Mace Tyrell of the same, though it all worked out in the end. Your granddaughter still married royalty in the end. I daresay she got a better deal out of it, all things considered."

Olenna's laughter surprised him.

It burst out of her in sharp, short bark of amusement.

"Careful, now." she warned. "I like you, but there's only so much honor will tolerate."

"Honor?" the blond blinked, a spark of anger slipping through his carefully erected facade. "I admire the concept, yes. Until it gets you killed. Ned Stark was honorable. An honorable fool, and it cost him his head. No, my lady, I will do whatever it takes to preserve my house and my family. I may be a kind man, but I'm not a foolish one. I fight my enemies both on the battlefield as well as off, and I _pluck_ them, root and stem. Be thankful I don't count your granddaughter among them. She's mine now, and I'll protect her with my life."

...and that's meant to reassure me, is it?" the elderly Tyrell glowered. "You could be little better than that pretentious child."

"It is," he retorted waspishly. "And I am. I don't betray those I hold dear."

Olenna considered him for a long, agonizing moment.

In the end, she sighed and rose from the table.

"Death betrays everyone, in the end."

With that, she departed in silence.

Her words soured his wine.

"You could say that...

The vision took Naruto while he was deep in his cups, nearly causing him to spit out the fine wine.

 _"Seven Hells!"_

 _Naruto's corpse stood slowly, woodenly and without care. It shook itself like a wet dog, seemingly ignorant of the small array of crossbow bolts jutting from its back, of its missing arms, of the dead bodies at its feet. More than a few of them were Freys. But perhaps worst of all was that the corpse was moving. Speaking. Breathing-no. It wasn't a corpse at all. But it had to be! They'd shoved a sword through his heart! Stuck a full quiver of arrows in him, just as they had his wench! What sorcery was this?!_

 _"I told you to chop off my head or I'd come back to haunt you." Naruto whispered. "But you..._

 _When he looked up, those eyes weren't blue._

 _...you..._

 _They were red and slitted._

 _ **..you...**_

 _The eyes of a cat-no, something worse._

 _ **...YOU...**_

 _Just the vicious slits of an angry beast, wild and enraged._

 _ **...YOU...**_

 _Bottomless._

 _ **...YOU...**_

 _The pits to hell._

 _"...you...you...YOU DIDN'T LISTEN YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" a pair of red dots blossomed on his forehead, fingers sharpening into claws! "YOU TOOK HER FROM ME! STOLE HER FROM ME!" His voice deepened, as though another were speaking with him, no, through him!_ _" **KILLED HER FROM ME!"**_

 _Despite his best efforts, Black Walder actually flinched back._

 _Those eyes! What were those eyes?!_

 ** _"YOU'LL BURN FOR THIS!"_**

Reality reasserted itself with a rush of sound, leaving Naruto in a cold sweat.

Glimpses of the waking dream-or was it a vision?-haunted him still. Lingering, despite his best efforts to banish them. Flashes of sight and sound and pain lurked just out of sight, scraping against nerves rubbed raw by the experience. Inwardly he began to curse. Of course. If the voices weren't tormenting him it was the visions. This one had been clearer than most, crystalline in its clarity. He knew those were the Twins. He recognized them from his childhood. Black Walder had only grown uglier with age. In the end, it wasn't hard to put two and two together.

He'd seen a vision of his own death.

At Walder Frey's hands.

A betrayal.

White-knuckled, he laid the goblet down, absently aware that he'd fallen, of a stain on his doublet. He cared little for it. The wine tasted like ash in his mouth. Even now his mind was racing, struggling to decide what to do. His first instinct was to warn everyone; to tell Father all he'd seen, so that it might be avoided. That notion dashed itself against the cruel shore of reality. Who would believe him? If he started going on about visions and voices in his head everyone would dismiss them out of turn. Worse, they might call them the ravings of the madman and _that_ was a scenario that would do more harm than good. And yet if he said nothing-did nothing...after what he'd seen just now...

Well, he'd put paid to whatever plans Walder Frey had for him and tear off his-

A hand laid itself across his chest.

"Look at you! You've gone white as a sheet."

Arianne's voice snapped Naruto out of his reverie and he jerked back with a start.

Flailing, he nearly struck out at her.

What?

When had she...?

In his frazzled state, he realized she'd gotten incredibly close to him. She must've snuck up on him when he wasn't looking; or mayhap he'd simply failed to notice her of his own accord. Regardless, he didn't think to push her way. He could feel her warm hands on his face now, like twin suns gently brushing upon his whiskered cheeks. Her forehead rested against his, her dark locks tickling his nose, breath hot on his face. Coming back to himself, Naruto was suddenly-intensely!-glad that he had moved away from the main body of the festivities. If somewhere were to pass by and see this...it wouldn't bode well.

"My Prince?" her voice oozed concern. It almost sounded genuine. Perhaps it was. Perhaps she _did_ care. "Are you well?"

"No," he croaked, wearily forcing his aching body into an upright position. "But I will be...eventually."

Arianne's face brightened. "Good. Still...you seem distressed. Shall I ease your burden?"

Her smile turned decidedly impish.

That was his only warning.

Then her mouth was simply _there;_ moist and warm against his as the princess flung both arms around his neck. Her body crushed into his own, pushing him into an alcove even as her tongue thrust upon his. Shielded as they were by the gardens, none saw them. None were made aware. None needed to be. There was only this moment and one another. Nimble fingertips shifted and clenched, clinging tightly to hardened shoulders to pull him down to her, dragging him deeper into the searing kiss.

In disbelief he took hold of her shoulders and pushed her away.

"Stop." he growled. "Seven hells, I just got married! Do you have any idea-

Eyes glazed, Arianne pushed back, driving him deeper into the dark.

"Rules, rules, rules!" she snapped at him when he tried to push her away again, nearly red-faced in her anger. "That is all I hear from you! Why is it that you insist on following them? You are the prince! Son of the king! It is you who should make the rules, not abide by them! Just let go! And who said anything about marriage?" the princess purred, her expression turning coy. "I'd be content as your mistress. Or have you forgotten we do not shun bastards in Dorne...?"

Hmm...now that was a rather tempting-NO!

A fist slammed into the wall, mere inches fro her face.

"Stop, or I'll make you."

"Then make me." she whispered, kissing him again.

Perhaps it was the anger.

Perhaps it stemmed from seeing her.

Perhaps he simply needed some relief from it all.

Whatever the case, a fit of passion seized Naruto and his body betrayed him before he could think to stop himself. He was tired of fighting. Of resisting. Of having her parade herself before him, poking him, prodding him, teasing him without remorse. Perhaps that was the way of the Dornish. To tease. To entice. To tempt. Arianne had accomplished this well during the brief time she'd spent here in King's Landing. All the while knowing he couldn't do anything about it, couldn't yield. Couldn't give in. Because that wouldn't be prim and proper. People would talk. It was quite possible she _hadn't_ expected Naruto's response to her advances.

Fuck it.

Fuck the rules.

He was a prince, after all.

To Arianne's surprise, he gave in.

Rough hands tightened around her supple body with frightful intensity, one seizing her waist and another her rear, hauling the Martell closer with a startled gasp. Said gasp piqued into a pleased hum as he deepened the kiss, his tongue clashing with hers. He pushed a palm beneath her rear when she bared her chest to him, her breasts mashing against his doublet as parted her silken skirts with ease; hitching up her leg even as her lips parted on a moan. Indeed, Arianne's cries grew more and more frantic as she ground herself against him, quiet yet insistent in her need-

Then, to his disbelief, she stepped away, regarding him with rosy cheeks.

"As much as I wish to continue this, you risk being missed at your own wedding...

Blue eyes narrowed on her.

"No thanks to you, ya damn succubus."

"Ah, my prince! You say the kindest things-AH!"

The Song of the Stag snared her by the wrist.

Kissed her, forcefully, rough with anger.

Perhaps that was why she moaned.

"This is all your fault, you know."

"Sh." Arianne hushed him, pushing a finger against his lips. "Do not talk of such things. There will be time enough for that later. Today is a day for celebration! Come!"

 _Reluctantly, he allowed himself be led back to the feast._

 **A/N: Bad Arianne! Bad! No swooping in like that! Swooping is bad!**

 **Yes, its implied that Naruto is familiar with the Forresters and the Whitehills. That's another story in and of itself, one I might write someday. Suffice it to say Ludd did not have a good day. No, that would be an understatement. He and his family had a VERY bad day to say the least. I won't speak more it here, but to say it'll be entertaining.**

 **The final part of the Orange Wedding takes places in the next chapter.**

 **The reasons for this are threeold.**

 **(1) My health issues.**

 **(2) The sheer LENGTH of that chapter.**

 **(3) You all deserved an update. And a good one at that.**

 **The whole Frey thing literally has to get its own, or everything will feel rushed. I wanted to at least get something out there, for everyone patiently awaiting this. Better than nothing, no? I tried to give everyone a good chance to shine this chapter, and I think it turned out remarkably well.**

 **Needless to say, Walder Frey is going to rue the day he was born.**

 **So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly?**

 **(Preview(s)**

 _Walder Frey spread his arms wide._

 _"Welcome, welcome!"_

* * *

 _"Have you taken leave of your senses?!"_

 _"Never really had them to begin with, so..._

 _Tyrion quietly sighed._

 _"Indeed, our Prince is rather reckless."_

 _"That reminds me! When's your wedding? Shae needs a present."_

 _"Urk." the dwarf managed eloquently._

* * *

 _"They're growing quickly."_

 _He trailed a hand over Viserion's hide, the scalebound flesh rippling with movement. The dragon trilled happily, rubbing its large head against his chest. The prince grunted and stumbled back, momentarily surprised by its strength. To be so young, and so large already...these dragons were going to be monsters when they grew older. And if they laid eggs, eggs that subsequently hatched...well, that went without saying. The Baratheons had the means to forge an everlasting dynasty, if they played their cards right. Indeed, it might even lead to a return of the great beasts themselves..._

 _Just the thought made him shiver with delight._

 _"You could ride him, if you like." Daenerys offered._

 _Naruto stiffened._

 _"I'll...pass."_

 _Daenerys favored him with an impish smile._

 _"Afraid of heights?"_

* * *

 _"Seven hells, man! Just bed the woman!"_

* * *

 _"Death to traitors!_

 **R &R! =D**


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